Ash

Full of love and hate. Letters to myself. Poetic and romantic as hell. Bipolar Disorder.

[ashlxst]

maybe I don't feel safe because I've yet to see why I should lower my boundaries

[ashlxst]

not the song playing that describes the sky at this moment & how I feel. Sunny at first sight but you know there are dark clouds ahead waiting to pour.

[ashlxst]

people think I'm okay with being alone but what options do I have?

[ashlxst]

unless you can sustain me don't drain me

[ashlxst]

I don't want to be your whole world, I want to be a part of that world

[ashlxst]

I wish people wanted to be in my life as much as I want to be a part of theirs

[ashlxst]

sometimes I feel like people hate me bc too many people love me or because I live authentically I think it's the latter

[ashlxst]

It's my abuelito's birthday tomorrow and I wasn't ready. His first anniversary of passing is less than a month away, how else am I supposed to feel. As if the last year has been okay. It is really going to be a year since I was last able to hear his voice. The last happy birthday, he turned 85, he would be 86 now. I can still hear his voice but what am I going to do when I can't, when it stops playing in my head, or when I lose my photos, or videos, how can I hold on to my last memories, make them last a little longer. Abuelito feliz cumpleaños, el mero día te tendré que tocar tus mañanitas hasta el cielo.

El amor es quizás el único vislumbre que se nos permite vislumbrar la eternidad.

La muerte no es otra cosa que volver a casa con Dios.

[ashlxst]

Being an aquarius with no thoughts is like water having no oxygen. #aquarius

[ashlxst]

It's like we're always planning for a future that's not promised. 1 year becomes, 2 years, 5 years, 15 years... A plan, then another, one day down turns into a week, month, year, a decade. This year I turn 27. Twenty-seven years of which I have planned for my future life. At 22 I found out what it meant to feel that tomorrow isn't promised, not always the way we envision it anyways. I will admit, I don't know what this year holds. This is the part where we find out what it looks like to grow like a tree, outgrowing our environment in insignificant increments or like a cactus, absorbing water & growing thorns.

[ashlxst]

today god blessed all you mf 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[ashlxst]

the thing about losing someone that meant the world is that they take that world with them

[ashlxst]

There are some things I have to accept.

[ashlxst]

if you're always in a scarcity mindset you'll never have anything worth having.

[ashlxst]

Hay gente conforme como inconforme y los que siempre están conforme nunca buscarán ni encontrarán mejor. Los conformes están estancados y siento triste por ellos.

[ashlxst]

I say fuck you with my actions

[ashlxst]

Some people are so poor, that it's not about the amount of money they have but about how they think, a scarcity mindset and they would never know how poor they are in life.