trial by fire

[closed rp blog] there is nothing left there is nothing left there is nothing left there is nothing left there is n

[ashtodust]

.  .  . whatever it takes .  .  .

[ashtodust]

(c o m p l a c e n c y)

There are things that he needs to do. Things that would never ben accomplished if he stays here, waiting... Putting it off to another day. Menja would never forgive him for that. So Helbindi takes up his axe again, feels the weight of it dragging across the cracked floors of the Abyss, and he descends deeper yet.

. fin

[ashtodust]

inspectors in specters —& bernadetta

minorindech​:

Problem? Bernadetta didn’t have a problem! Not unless you counted strange men appearing from nowhere haunted by ghosts showing up and yelling at her and accusing her and grabbing at her as if they were her father a problem, which Bernadetta did consider a problem after further consideration. So if anything, he was the problem here and if he wanted that answer so bad she should tell him and-

And Bernadetta was absolutely not going to do that no way was she crazy!?

Still, he did offer a simple solution to her problem. Bernadetta squinted suspiciously at him. “Really? Just like that? No blood oath? No threats? No making me swear upon everything I love dearly or else you’ll find what matters to me most and slowly destroy it beyond all recognition?” That seemed way too good to be true. There had to be a trick there.

But even if Bernadetta was suspicious of this generous offer, she had far too much on her own plate to really try to sniff out the trick right now. The chocolate she snagged sat heavy in the pocket of her hoodie, and she had only so much time if she wanted to be sure that she finished the day of devotion gifts she was planning on time…definitely not enough to be spending it in the dark (with ghosts?) trying to figure out whether or not she was going to die.

Bernadetta pouts, and huffs, and nods her head. “It’s not like I know your name to tell anyone about you anyways…” She admits. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him around before at all, but that’s not surprising for someone like Bernadetta.

There’s an awkward silence following her agreeing, and Bernadetta’s eyes flicker from him to the door and back. “…will the ghosts be mad if I run away now?”

“Blood oaths?” He scoffed. “Nah, you just keep that blood and this meeting to yourself, that’s all. Do both of us a favour here.”

A good tug on the drawstring of the sack lifted his cargo just an inch off the ground, and with small heave, Helbindi could tell the goods were safely stacked and tucked away for the trip back underground. ‘This is taking way too long.’ Someone must have taken notice of his delay by now... And with any luck, they might just buy his ‘ghost’ story.

(Anyone who doesn’t. Well. Helbindi hoped the pastries would be enough to shut them up without too much trouble.)

“Yeah. It works better without knowing. Not like you’re gonna need to know anyway; tonight never happened.” With a firm exhale, Helbindi hoisted the neck of the sack over his shoulder, turned, and readied to make the trip back when... She was still there. Standing in exactly the same place as when he looked away to pack away the spoils.

Seriously?

He twists, squeezing past her and out of the doorway, into the still empty hall. No one was supposed to come by for another couple of hours... “Gotta say, I think the ‘ghosts’ are going to be mad no matter what we do, so you might as well scamper off. I’ll even take a head start.” He wasn’t about to wait to see if that intel was good or not.

[ashtodust]

many hands —& julius

disgracedvessel​:

Julius’ eyes followed the crates to the floor, and though he tried to hold his ground before this towering brute of a man, he took another step backwards despite himself. Then his eyes snapped back up to meet his, challenging and defiant. With the other man’s hands now free of his cargo, that meant he could swing at him at a moment’s notice.

“I’ve lost something,” Julius answered defensively. His gaze dropped for a cursory appraisal. The other wore a uniform in the same shades of grey and lavender as his own, but it looked to be cobbled together at best. And no undershirt… no gloves… If the shoes on his feet had been issued to him by the monastery, they looked hardly more than muddy, worn out work boots by now. Perhaps this was the first time he had ever worn shoes at all.

“A ring, to be specific,” Julius added, his disdainful frown ill-concealed. He touched the ring finger of his right hand as if expecting to find the gift back in its place again. “Not that someone like you would understand the value of such a thing. Now—” He made a dismissive wave. “I told you to leave my sight. You’re only in the way.”

It was hard not to look down on him while the boy make no attempt at masking the fact that he was staring. Not that Helbindi was really trying to, but it was just that.... The kid was kind of small. And Helbindi himself really wasn’t. The more he watched and listened though, the more he was certain that he had at least known of the boy before this. A passing splash of red, the hint of a screech echoing down the tunnels of the abyss....

Yeah. Probably.

“You lost a ring.” Helbindi crossed his arms over his chest, frowning mildly. It had to be a gift; as talented as some of the underground colleagues had been, he didn’t think Julius had it in him to source something like that so soon. And if it were a gift, then it had to have been from sometime Before The Abyss, when he had been Somebody Else, as all of them had been. 

Helbindi looked to the water.

Sure, the canal had a distinct flow to it, but it wasn’t the torrential gush of a cistern. If something floated along its surface, Helbindi figured he might have watched it slowly drift away. Which then begged the question.

“... If it’s so damned important, why don’t you just go get it then? The water’s not moving that quickly.” His arms remained over his chest as he gestured to the canal with a brief gesture with the tilt of his head. “It’s a built water way and can’t be more than a foot deep at the edge. A ring’s small and dense; probably just sunk to the bottom.”

[ashtodust]

inspectors in specters —& bernadetta

minorindech​:

Bernadetta flinched into herself in response to the stranger’s shout. Her screech had been loud, but his was aggressive in a familiar kind of way that made Bernadetta struggle to swallow the air in her throat for a second.

Except she was at the school now, not there, and she was assured by many that she was safe here and

“I’m sorry!” She squeaks out, preemptive and wary, just to be safe. She really didn’t want everyone to wake up, but with all this talk of ghosts and yelling and she still wasn’t sure whether or not she or this stranger were dead, she kind of wished someone else would show up, just to give her some kind of reassurance.

“Huh? Sk-skulking around?” Who was doing that? Bernadetta glanced around quickly. The only person she’d seen her beyond herself was him, unless she missed something like how she missed that ghost that may or may not exist. Unless…wait, no he couldn’t mean…

Except he did.

Bernadetta gasped, face coloring (at the language? the implication?) and clutched at front of her uniform as she spluttered uselessly. It took her a moment to get herself under control enough to reply.

“B-Bernie’s not doing anything shady!” Why did so many people seem to think she was even capable of that? “I-I was just trying to get something from the kitchen! Oh…wait, please don’t tell anyone I was taking things from the kitchen! I-I promise I’m not breaking any rules, I just…I just needed it and it seemed wasteful to go and buy stuff that was already here!” Oh no, that’s what it was, wasn’t it? The real reason he kept talking about ghosts and stuff was so it made more sense when threatened to turn her into one when he blackmailed her into doing something horrible in exchange for not telling anyone… “N-no! I won’t do it, whatever it is!”

“Bernie’s not doing anything shady!” 

This ‘Bernie’ looked him with that vague expression of being affronted that he would even suggest such a thing, even if it were plain as day. Sneaking around at night was automatically shady. “Like hell you’re not!” He sputtered, a note of disbelief crawling into his voice. “What art of this isn’t shady!?”

She claimed to just be trying to get things from the kitchen.                         (Which was what Helbindi was supposed to be doing also.) 

And that she was definitely not breaking any rules.       (Which was exactly what someone who was breaking the rules would say.)

While she was busy winding herself into a knot, Helbindi sighed and shuffled past her, unfurling the burlap sack in his hands and started loading it with essentials. The half loaf of bread that was crudely wrapped. Salted pork in waxed paper. A flat of what he recognized as left over pastries from dinner service. For a second, she fell silent again, only to squeak something as he went about arranging the goods in his bag so they wouldn’t be crushed on the return trip back. "What the hell are you going about this time?”

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is, and I get this weird feeling that there probably isn’t the time to get into that.” Just a hunch. “But all I need you to do is never tell anyone either of us were here tonight, and I’ll do the same for you, got it? No screaming. No skulking. No ghosts. It’s real easy.”

[ashtodust]

3 Core Character Beliefs!

ooc; Aaaand also for my other boy.

There are people who inherently deserve good things... and he’s just not one of them. Not that he can’t ever HAVE nice things, but he’s not entitled to that. (Why should he be?) Anything that he has, he fought for and earned--always had and always will, one way or another. There’s always a price to pay, and the only thing that matters is how much he wants it compared to how much someone else does.

If they can take advantage of you, they will. So best to keep them at arm’s length. Wary. Don’t give them too much to work with. No need to be closed off, but don’t go around offering them ways to twist the knife. If pressed, he supposes a few people won’t, and he can’t afford to fuck around and figure out which those are, and how long it takes before that changes.

It is better to keep your head down than stand out. You don’t want or need their eyes on you. That’s how they get you. Unseen is safe and it has always been safe. Nothing good comes from their attention, from being exemplary even; just keep your head down, deal with your own damned business, and they’ll leave you alone. Don’t give them a reason to... Now look what you’ve done to her?

[ashtodust]

scraps --& priscilla

Mission : Incognito  //  Month : Red Wolf Moon Faerghus’ winter storms come early this year. The bone-deep chill you feel as a strong wind blows through your group is worse than the priests back at school forewarned. Unless you’re planning to become a popsicle, you should do as the Faerghans do and try to build yourself some shelter. ....  You stick out like a sore thumb in your school uniforms, and they’re not quite enough to keep you warm either. On your travels, you come across a ransacked village, scorched and trampled… it’s an opportunity to find more appropriate clothes, even if you’re mixed on the idea of becoming a second group of bandits. What’s more, the destruction seems fairly recent.

@caerleons

The arctic band came with force, cutting cross the landscape with a frigid vigour and rending their cloaks useless in the face of the onslaught. Helbindi took one step ahead of the other, leaden feet slowly tracking heavy steps into snow that steadily came up mid-shin. It couldn’t have been like that a mere hour earlier; no, a scant two hour earlier, the scouts at the head of their travelling party had just begun to comment on how the wind had picked up sharply, and how the horizon had turned dark and red.

Not even Nifl had been this bad. Not when he was there anyway.

The snow fall had been so dense that he could barely see the white of his breath (or maybe he was just too cold... was that how it worked?) as he huffed and puffed his way across the accumulating precipitation, the girl in tow. It couldn’t have been that long since they were separated from the group, but in that short time, Helbindi had already completely lost sight of them... He couldn’t even tell if they were even on any sort of path anymore. And with daylight dwindling, even he knew, with his limited winter experience, that their situation was dipping from precarious to outright deadly with the sharp decline in ambient temperature. 

“Come on.” It was all he could to to keep his teeth from chattering. If they stopped... If they stopped, no one would ever find them. Helbindi’s hand on her arm tightened as to not lose the girl also, his arm wrapped around her to keep her close in an attempt to keep her out of the worst of the wind. “Gotta keep going. I see something looming up ahead; it’s as good as it gets. Looks like a village of sorts. Maybe the goddess here takes some pity, yeah?”

[disgracedvessel]

"Keep it down, brat! Some of us are trying to sleep."

I SPEAK NOT WITH EXCLAMATION MARKS. YOUR WEAK HUMAN ANATOMY SIMPLY CANNOT BEAR THE PRESENCE OF A GOD.

[ashtodust]

“I don’t care how many exclamation marks you’re using! Shut the fuck up, or you can go be loud in the canal. Gods, some kids these days, fucking impossible...”

[ashtodust]

♡ chronic

HC Prompts - [still taking! please help me build the boy!]

(cw; figurative self harm)

It became a thing of rote. Unthinking. Reflexive.

They were always watching, dozens of eyes and pinched expressions, each one a judge or juror with their verdicts fixed the moment they laid eyes upon him and branded him... As if the whole of his worth could be written into the lines of his face or the cut of his clothes or the hunger in his eyes. They sneer, or, if they were more delicate of sensibility, they cower back. But always, Helbindi beat them to the punch.

Filth. Scum. Worthless.

He steals the words from their tongue before they manifest and spills them with his voice instead, daring them to meet his eyes and tear them back from him. His head held high in defiance. A challenge. They hang from his shoulders like charms wrought of twisted steel and shards of glass. What difference does another one make?

A beast... The likes of me...

Maybe there was a time when they hurt less if he placed them there himself, if he owned it and wore it with pride. (But where among the detritus was he to find pride?) Maybe he thought that he could wield it like a blade and turn that wicked edge away from himself. (It nicked his skin, never the less.) Or maybe he had somehow convinced himself that any of that had been true.

(It doesn’t. Hurt less. Not really. But if the disdain were to be carved into his skin, Helbindi thought that perhaps he might have preferred it if it were by his own hand... And the handle fits too well now for comfort.)

[bevinget-archived-deactivated20]

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon.

[ashtodust]

‘The winners are—’

Weird. 

With the twinging in his ribs and some of his blood left back on the Gronder with everyone else’s, Helbindi sure as fuck didn’t feel like a winner. Yeah, he had a bag full of fruit drinks now and this... ‘Goddess’ Favour’ or whatever (Laughable; her favour didn’t prevent him from being knocked out of play first thing in the morning) but it wasn’t anything to write home about...

... and then, spread out before him, was a near-obscene display of decadence and excess that he had never seen before. 

(He could have fed the slums ten times over with this.) 

“... Holy shit.” Helbindi staggered in.

Maybe the Goddess favoured him a little.

[ashtodust]

Bernadetta is already sitting in medical tent when he is dragged in. Though it would be hard not to guess she was there with the volume of her sniffles. Her burnt arms are cradled delicately against her chest and her wide eyes are lined with tears as he is dumped unceremoniously on the cot next to her.

She stares at him quietly for a fair bit. “D-did you die this time?” She asks, voice quiet as the healers rush about. He doesn’t look like a ghost, but he didn’t last time either. “Do you, um. Do you want some juice?”

It felt like he found himself holed up in an infirmary more time in the last several weeks than he had in a life time. Helbindi supposed part of that was that no one had cared enough to offer that in the past, but he wasn’t so stupid as to turn a blind eye to the fact that he had gotten sloppy.

(Never-mind that maybe-having-died-once does things to a guy. It wasn’t exactly something people knew much about for obvious reasons.)

They roll him onto a worn-down cot and someone was immediately at his side, swabbing away the dirt and grass awns from the lacerations that stretched across his skin. And he heard her.

“D-did you die this time?”

Soft light bloomed from the healer’s hands. Bruises subsided. Flesh and skin knitted themselves together with a dull itch that Helbindi knew better than to pick at. (Not with the healer still standing by.) 

“Not properly, but that’s not a huge surprise.” Couldn’t even die right. Figures. Not that he was looking to come first place in that one, gotta say. Helbindi groaned, carefully sitting up when the healer finally pulled back. Tender patches of pink, still-healing tissue took the place of bleeding injuries. They pinched and ached when he turned to look at her and the burns she nursed.

“... if it’s not gonna make those any worse, sure.”

[ashtodust]

Roy spotted his opponent rather quickly, given that the man was much taller than him. With a small sigh he walked over, giving a nod to Helbindi before charging and swinging with his Iron Sword. (6 + 2 to hit)

BOEL Round 1

It wasn’t long before the first of the came, a boy he didn’t recognize, with his blade drawn. Helbindi tried to speak, but the sharp edge fell faster than his tongue, faster than he could bring up his own weapon. He hisses. The sting of iron through skin was sharp.

>> 8 = Barely hit (-0.5 HP) --> Helbindi: 3.5/4HP >> 3 (5 - 2 dex bane)

His axe swings wide as he struggles to shake off the unease; Helbindi doesn’t expect it to catch anything.

[ashtodust]

blazingxlion​:

Finally focusing again, he sidestepped the attempted attack from Helbindi and swung back, at least aiming to try and get some form of advantage before his luck ran out.

>> 12 (10 + 2, dex boon) -> Potential Damage: 1

His ears rang and a numb silence fell while his lungs burned just as his wounds burned just as— (‘Father burned the slums. He killed everyone.’) —and Helbindi gripped his axe tighter.

>> Hit (-1 HP) –> Helbindi: 1/4HP

The thing that snapped back was a cornered animal, pupils narrowed in the bright light and axe falling in a heavy blow at him in defiance.

>> 12 (14 - 2, dex bane) –> Potential: -1.5hp (Hit + atk book)

[blazingxlion]

The axe slashed across his sword arm's shoulder and Roy stumbled, going to instinctively cover the wound before remembering where he was. He wasn't on a battlefield in Bern- he was in Fodlan. Gronder Field...right.

>> Hit (-1.5 HP) -> Roy: 1.5/4 HP

With a quick glance, his eyes darted around and spotted an opening- there. With nearly a shout, he slashed across his opponent's chest. Not aiming to fatally injure, of course, but prove that he wasn't weak and didn't need to be treated as such.

>> 12 (10 + 2, dex boon) -> Potential Damage: 1 HP

[ashtodust]

His reflex is to bring up his axe again—too slow. His arm twinges, and with a strong enough blow, the weapon was easily knocked from his hands, sinking easily by the blade into the soft sod and earth of the field. Helbindi didn’t have time to think on that though, not as the sword comes, without the weight he was expecting, but with just enough force to bring him to a stagger.

>> Hit (-1 HP) –> Helbindi: 0/4HP

(Nothing vital, but gods, how much of that blood was his?)

His knee hit the ground and he swayed, groping for the axe that lay just out of reach. ‘No. Wait. I can...’ He can what? The deer’s gold standard had been so splattered with spreading red that the underlying colour was an afterthought. “I....” Helbindi fell hard to one side... and was caught.

“These kids. Going to get themselves killed for real, I swear.” A medic from the tent had his good arm slung over one shoulder and hurried to get him off the field. Still stunned, Helbindi was in no shape to protest.

>> Helbindi has left the battlefield!

[ashtodust]

Roy spotted his opponent rather quickly, given that the man was much taller than him. With a small sigh he walked over, giving a nod to Helbindi before charging and swinging with his Iron Sword. (6 + 2 to hit)

BOEL Round 1

It wasn’t long before the first of the came, a boy he didn’t recognize, with his blade drawn. Helbindi tried to speak, but the sharp edge fell faster than his tongue, faster than he could bring up his own weapon. He hisses. The sting of iron through skin was sharp.

>> 8 = Barely hit (-0.5 HP) --> Helbindi: 3.5/4HP >> 3 (5 - 2 dex bane)

His axe swings wide as he struggles to shake off the unease; Helbindi doesn’t expect it to catch anything.

[ashtodust]

blazingxlion​:

Finally focusing again, he sidestepped the attempted attack from Helbindi and swung back, at least aiming to try and get some form of advantage before his luck ran out.

>> 12 (10 + 2, dex boon) -> Potential Damage: 1

His ears rang and a numb silence fell while his lungs burned just as his wounds burned just as— (‘Father burned the slums. He killed everyone.’) —and Helbindi gripped his axe tighter.

>> Hit (-1 HP) –> Helbindi: 1/4HP

The thing that snapped back was a cornered animal, pupils narrowed in the bright light and axe falling in a heavy blow at him in defiance.

>> 12 (14 - 2, dex bane) –> Potential: -1.5hp (Hit + atk book)

[ashtodust]

Roy spotted his opponent rather quickly, given that the man was much taller than him. With a small sigh he walked over, giving a nod to Helbindi before charging and swinging with his Iron Sword. (6 + 2 to hit)

BOEL Round 1

It wasn’t long before the first of the came, a boy he didn’t recognize, with his blade drawn. Helbindi tried to speak, but the sharp edge fell faster than his tongue, faster than he could bring up his own weapon. He hisses. The sting of iron through skin was sharp.

>> 8 = Barely hit (-0.5 HP) --> Helbindi: 3.5/4HP >> 3 (5 - 2 dex bane)

His axe swings wide as he struggles to shake off the unease; Helbindi doesn’t expect it to catch anything.

[ashtodust]

[ ... ]

blazingxlion​:

After that swing, he realized his left his own side open and took the attack with a pained grunt, taking a bit too long to get his bearings to retaliate at maximum efficiency.

>>(-1HP) -> Roy: ¾ HP

With that moment of hesitation, he swung off-centered from where he had before, determination setting in now.

>> 8 (6 + 2, dex boon) Potential Damage: .5

Metal clashes with metal; Helbindi rose his axe and the sword skimmed of the edge with enough forward momentum to drag across his arm anyway, red seeping into the gold thread.

>> Barely hit (-0.5 HP) –> Helbindi: 2/4HP >> 3 (5 - 2, dex bane) --> Potential: Miss.

His retaliation was marred by the twinge that ran through muscle as he tried to slash back. (Eerily familiar, honestly.)

[ashtodust]

Roy spotted his opponent rather quickly, given that the man was much taller than him. With a small sigh he walked over, giving a nod to Helbindi before charging and swinging with his Iron Sword. (6 + 2 to hit)

BOEL Round 1

It wasn’t long before the first of the came, a boy he didn’t recognize, with his blade drawn. Helbindi tried to speak, but the sharp edge fell faster than his tongue, faster than he could bring up his own weapon. He hisses. The sting of iron through skin was sharp.

>> 8 = Barely hit (-0.5 HP) --> Helbindi: 3.5/4HP>> 3 (5 - 2 dex bane)

His axe swings wide as he struggles to shake off the unease; Helbindi doesn’t expect it to catch anything.

[blazingxlion]

It was a miss, and the teen counter attacked immediately. Getting this over with quickly wasn’t really his intention, but if the other didn’t feel as up to fighting...he honestly didn’t blame him. It was a weird sensation, to be on a battlefield for a mock fight.

>> 17 (15+2, dex boon) Potential Damage: 1 (luck bane)

[ashtodust]

There was nothing but air when he swung his axe, and with momentum had him staggering past. Vaguely, Helbindi knew it meant his back was exposed. Knew. And yet it felt almost like there was a split second delay between what he knew and his body catching up, scrambling to make the call that followed.

>> (-1HP) --> Helbindi: 2.5/4HP

‘Get up, get up, get up--’

Pain flared; the boy with the sword was close then. His hand shot out, axe cutting in an upward arc.

>> 8 (10 - 2, dex bane) --> Potential: -1 (Barely hit +Atk boon)

[ashtodust]

Roy spotted his opponent rather quickly, given that the man was much taller than him. With a small sigh he walked over, giving a nod to Helbindi before charging and swinging with his Iron Sword. (6 + 2 to hit)

BOEL Round 1

It wasn’t long before the first of the came, a boy he didn’t recognize, with his blade drawn. Helbindi tried to speak, but the sharp edge fell faster than his tongue, faster than he could bring up his own weapon. He hisses. The sting of iron through skin was sharp.

>> 8 = Barely hit (-0.5 HP) --> Helbindi: 3.5/4HP >> 3 (5 - 2 dex bane)

His axe swings wide as he struggles to shake off the unease; Helbindi doesn’t expect it to catch anything.

[ashtodust]

He doesn’t want to do this.

There’s nothing to gain on the battlefield, no honour, no spoils, no dignity, and Helbindi can’t understand the fervor that seemed to burn in some of their eyes as they step into the mock skirmish. The battlefield takes, and though no fire burns around him now, his chest clenches and his hand shakes as they press an axe into his hand and pin gold to his breast.

‘Fear the deer,’ someone shouts from his left. (Fear. That wasn’t quite it.) 

There were no stakes this time, but his stomach turns as they march on.