Jules of Nature
KIROKAZE

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Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost

tannertan36
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Keni
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@ashtonxhayward
kingaidenx:
“thanks. i think i’ll be able to talk about it at some point down the road, but it’s just a sensitive topic. i know you care about me, and you’ve done more than enough to show me that you do. i don’t know, it’s just my brain fucking with me like always. i know you would, and you don’t know how much that means to me. i love you, and just want to make sure you’re happy. i’ll go to therapy, and anger management. i’ve been doing good so far, but it doesn’t hurt to have someone help me with more serious things. maybe if i go then i’ll get good at explaining myself, and then we won’t fight anymore. honestly the thought of being happy all of the time makes me wanna vomit. even a maine coon, i’d love any cat you brought home.”
“how about we just...i can go to therapy with you if you want. i mean, i don’t need to, but i would go with you if you wanted the support. i just know i don’t really like fighting with you. and if i knew what was wrong, maybe it’d help me understand more, too. maybe.”
kingaidenx:
“no, you don’t gotta be sorry. you have every right to bring it up if you’re worried about me. if we’re getting married, i can’t really stop you from bringing up shit from my past. i don’t wanna be that type of person. i love you too, and it’s just weird having someone care about me. i know that sounds stupid, but you worry about me in a way that no one else ever did. like you’re probably in a group with five other people who said i should get my anger checked out. i’ll always care about your opinion, unless it’s about where we should eat. i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said that without explaining myself. i honestly don’t know what i’d do if i lost you, which i’m surprised hasn’t happened sooner. i’m just a grumpy cat, that’s all i’m ever gonna be. i’ll love any cat you bring home, silly. they aren’t bad luck, people just don’t see how amazing they are.”
“no, no. there’s some things that don’t need to be brought up. that’s one of them. it’s fine. i’m not going to bring up something you’re not comfortable with no matter if we’re getting married or not. if you don’t see how much i care about you by now, then you’re absolutely insane, aiden. i’ve done so much just to be with you. i wouldn’t let you go for anything. i care about you way too much for that. i would do anything to make sure you’re okay at the end of the day. if that means making sure you go to therapy and getting yourself better and away from all of that pent up anger, then that’s what i’ll do. it’s okay. i shouldn’t have been upset. you don’t...explaining yourself isn’t exactly a strong suit of mine either. why would you be surprised about it? we love each other. that’s what keeps us going. don’t forget that. i mean, you can be a grumpy cat all you want. you wouldn’t be my aiden if you weren’t. even a maine coon? hey, i agree with you there. black cats are amazing.”
kingaidenx:
“the whole prison thing doesn’t need to be brought up. to be fair, i haven’t gotten angry like that in a really long time. you’re right though, i could do with someone to talk to about all of my shit. i mean i talk to you but it’s always nice to have someone who doesn’t know anyone and is impartial. it’s not gonna happen again, but i’ll go since you asked. don’t be dramatic, you know what i mean. of course i’d probably be emo for a while, or well i’d probably just beat people up. we’re gonna get another cat and you’re gonna love him. you can get a maine coon, and i’ll still to my black cats. who by the way are scary to some people, which is fucking weird. buzz it is then, that was easier than i thought.”
“i know. i was just saying. sorry for bringing it up though. yeah, i’m biased when it comes to you. i’ll tell you you’re fine if i think that’s what you want to hear sometimes. which probably isn’t the best thing to do, but i love you so... thank you for agreeing to go. really shows you care about my opinion. maybe you should choose your words better and i wouldn’t be so dramatic, hm? of course i’m gonna love another cat. regardless of the breed. i will get a maine coon and you’ll love the hell out of it. black cats usually mean bad luck so i’m pretty sure that’s why they scare people most of the time. buzz it is.”
kingaidenx:
“woah, i’m feeling attacked right now. and i said people are annoying, not just old people. also you’re coming at me right now, is this what i get for coming at you first? please tell me you’re joking, i don’t need therapy. maybe anger management, but not therapy. though, if you really want me to go then i’ll probably do it. everyone else can fuck off. i have other things that make me happy, not just you. i mean you make me happy as well, but if we like broke up then i’d be just fine. everyone has childhood problems, ashton. i mean you took thirst to a whole new level, but we’ll keep that between us. five cats work, i love them so much. no to kids, that’s good to know cause i don’t want any either. more like a cat man cause you’re not a lady in any aspect of your life. you’re right, but lets not think about that right now. gross, no way. i want a short haired black and white cat. or just all black, doesn’t matter really. not pumbaa, of course you’d pick another lion king name. how about buzz, toy story was the shit when i was growing up.”
“good, that’s my job, babe. i didn’t mean you said old people. i meant the same old ‘people are annoying’ shtick that you’ve always got. yes, this is exactly what you get. learn it, live it, love it. i’m not joking. you need therapy which will help with your anger management. are you forgetting how you went to prison at a point for said anger problems that stem from your childhood? i don’t need that happening again, alright? i need you around. we’ve got a wedding to plan. i do really want you to go. please. you’d be fine without me? that’s good to know. maybe we shouldn’t get another cat then. matter of fact, maybe we shouldn’t even get married. of course they do, but they don’t end up fighting people ninety percent of the time. well, you’re attractive. i had to voice my thoughts. five cats it is. look, i’ll be a bloody cat lady if i wanna be. i don’t care about gender roles and shit. you don’t like maine coon’s? i can’t believe this. i’m getting a maine coon at some point. you can bet on that, mate. nala is a short haired black and white cat, you’re gonna get them mixed up. you should just stick with black. i’m cool with buzz. i fuck with toy story, too.”
let’s admire his beauty.
kingaidenx:
“i think i’m always gonna be a grumpy cat, people are just annoying. i can’t handle it most of the time. it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes i can get that way with you but i’m trying not to. i never thought the anger problems i had as a kid would last this long, a few people think i should go into therapy or some shit. my problems as a child just haven’t been resolved which is why i hate the world. okay, see i remember that conversation and it’s certainly a funny story to tell whenever someone asks how we met. yeah, my ex who didn’t think i was serious about you. that’s exactly why i love cats so much, you don’t gotta do anything for them except food and clean their litter box. maybe that just means i’m a lazy asshole. do you want kids? a few? she’s not gonna die anytime soon, ashton. of course i want another cat, i mean i love nala but she’s always sort of been your cat. they really are, even when they’ve been alive for like sixteen years somehow they look adorable even in old age. if not simba, then what? i suck at picking names.”
“ah, there it is. the old people are annoying thing that you say all the time. i was waiting for it. you wouldn’t be aiden if you didn’t say that once a day. anger problems last as long as they want to. just so you know, i’m counted in those few people that want you to go to therapy. i can only make you happy for so long. maybe therapy will help you a bit considering what you just said about your childhood problems. it’s probably best if we don’t tell people how much of a thirst trap i was when we first met. you can’t just not be serious about me. i’m way too worth it. exactly. cats are just such a great species. i want like five of them. you think that’s possible? i wanna be a cat lady. kids? hell no. i’m fine with cats. yes, a few, aiden. she’s twelve. she’s got a few years left on her. i have to accept that before it actually happens so it lessens the blow when it gets to that time. if it’ll even lessen the blow at all. i mean, you’re not wrong about that. i remember when you used to say nala loved you more. we both knew that was bullshit. nevertheless, what kind of cat are we looking for here? maybe we should get a maine coon. it’s just big and cuddly. then we could name them pumbaa. — bloody hell, that’s from the lion king.”
kingaidenx:
“i mean i guess you have a point, considering i’m pretty sure that’s how we met. i don’t even remember, all i know is i was a grumpy cat that walked around just wanting to punch everyone. i can’t have you thinking you’re hot shit, though you pretty much think that all of the time regardless of what i say. i’d prefer a kitten next to you, dogs are too much to handle. which reminds me, i think i wanna get another cat. that way i can spoil him the way you spoil nala, but i don’t know if she’d enjoy having a friend. we could name him simba.”
“aiden, you’re still a grumpy cat. just not around me. most of the time at least. i love you though so it’s easier for me to ignore your grumpiness if you’re ever that way with me. and i’m pretty sure i offered to suck your dick when we first met. even though you had your ex problems. you’re damn right i’ll still think i’m hot shit regardless of what you say. dogs require way more maintenance than cats which i guess is why people end up closer to dogs. nala is my baby though. if i’m not gonna have kids, at least i’ll have nala for a few more years. you really want that other cat. that’s the second time you’ve said you wanted another one. nala is so old now, she’d probably think that was her child. i would never say no to another cat though. you know how much i love cats. they’re cute throughout their entire lifespan. look at nala. she doesn’t look a day over five. let’s name them something else though. i don’t wanna seem like i’m that far up the lion king’s arse.”
kingaidenx:
“okay, that’s gross. i honestly don’t know how you deal with stuff like that, but i guess if you love animals it’s all worth it in the end. maybe it didn’t like you cause you’re too pretty. it was probably like, get me away from this handsome guy because i just can’t handle myself. so instead it went crazy and decided to bite you. plenty of people i’m guessing, you’re pretty into yourself when you wanna be.”
“you responded to your own statement. i love animals so i’ll do anything to help them. even if they’ve got diarrhea. so the cat didn’t like me because i’m too good-looking. damn, i should’ve known. i have to look out for those signs next time. wow. i can’t even... why would you disrespect me like that? i’m pretty sure those plenty of people are like one out of ten people who wouldn’t like me. which means that they’re insane. i’ve got a great face and an amazing personality. what’s not to like? put a puppy or a kitten next to me and i’ve got men and women in the palm of my hand.”
kingaidenx:
“that’s impossible. dogs are loud and try to jump on you, i don’t see what’s so adorable about them. what was wrong with the dog? i bet the cat was scared, most cats are cute unless they’re old. then they have an attitude to them, which isn’t pretty most of the time. how does a cat bite you? i don’t think that’s possible, like they scratch and then try to bite you but never actually bite you.”
“the dog had the runs. it was pretty bad. and he was in pain so the owner was worried. i felt really bad because nobody likes having that problem. and yes, i understand the cat was scared, but it didn’t have to bite me. take it from the vet here, aiden. i got bitten by a cat. it happens. it’s rare, but it happens. and this cat clearly did not like me. — and yes, you don’t have to tell me how weird that is. who could possibly dislike me?”
“so you know how bloody rare it is for me to say that i found a dog cuter than a cat, but i swear the cutest dog came in today. it wasn’t a cute issue said dog was having, but he was a good boy who just was adorable. and the cat was just horrible. it even bit me,” he said as he lifted up his finger. “thank goodness it didn’t pass on rabies, right?”
Herman Tømmeraas in Such a boy ( 1 / … ) You say you want a break, so we break up. It’s a mistake, so we make up and then we make out, you freak out. Here we go again, you say we go too fast when you’re sober then have a glass, you’re coming over and then we make out, you freak out
kingaidenx:
“Do you remember when we first met? I’m pretty sure all we talked about was blowjobs. Gotta be honest, I never thought we’d make it this far but that’s just because of where I was. I don’t like being angry whenever I’m around you, it also helps that you tend to make me smile a lot more than frown. I don’t know what’s so great about my arms. You should tell me. We should talk about what you look like shirtless, I should burn all your shirts. We can wait until you get a ring. No patience, Ashton. Haven’t you heard, good things come to those who wait?”
“We did not only talk about blowjobs. We talked about other stuff, too. Like how attractive I am. And your sister. And my job. And also your ex. That’s a wide range of shit, love. I didn’t think we would make it this far either if that’s any consolation to you. Never imagined myself to be the settling down type of guy. Well, I prefer you not being angry all the time so that’s a good thing. I should tell you? Have you seen your arms? Or muscle mass in general?” He put both hands on Aiden’s arms. “I mean, seriously. Okay, this is actually getting weird. I sound like I have an arm fetish. Please don’t burn all my shirts. I get paid as a vet, but not that much to have to buy an entirely new wardrobe of shirts. Yes, we’ll both have rings and it’ll be great. I’m never patient when it comes to you. You know that.”