the uncatchable

Shepard St. John | Fan and personal blog } } 18+ tagged accordingly - profile in progress!!

[asimawv]

“TRINKETS”, 2021

My written piece for Of Fools and Corpses, available now - digital and physical copies available alongside all kinds of antediluvian merch here :+)

Posting the unfanciful raws so that I don’t spoil the splendid formatting in the zine!

[asimawv]

“SAN DIMAS”, 2021

My full piece for Of Fools and Corpses, available now - digital and physical copies available alongside all kinds of antediluvian merch here :+)

[ddfanzine]

And now... the darkness holds dominion – black as death.

Now showcasing our amazing and well-known fic writer Shepard. He's written multiple Darkest Dungeon fanfiction works, including the most viewed and bookmarked fic The Myth of Sisyphus on ao3. Check him out and prepare for written and illustrated work for him in the dd fanzine Of Fools and Corpses! And make sure to support him there!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haufolke/

[carpenatem24]

Amazing prose and imagery as usual, we're lucky to have the best both worlds from Haufolke's (@asimawv) fanfiction and artwork in the dd fanzine!

[asimawv]

Very excited for you guys to see what I’ve been cooking up for you!! ♡ ♡ Be sure to snag either a digital or physical copy on release - all proceeds go to the World Federation for Mental Health!

Here’s a hint for what both pieces are centered on: what’s black, white, and ripped all over in this installment?

[cynthplop]

[asimawv]

Last couple of works for art classes that I took my final semester to ease the pain of my regular course load :’+)

[asimawv]

From digital piece to a wearable work!

Angelus brand acrylic leather paint on leather.

[carpenatem24]

DD FanZine

So we’re moving forward with the DD Zine! We have artists like ViktorMaru, darneddungeon, DukeofQueers, multiple fic writers, and many other content creators involved already, so if you’re interested, please take a look at the sign up sheet!

I’ll keep it up for a couple weeks if you’re on the fence. Looking forward to the collab!

https://forms.gle/Fzk2d4Ggs3iJWJUh7

[asimawv]

Just sent in my form! Would love to see some of you guys there. :+)

[asimawv]

Mixed variety bag of Darkest Dungeon tweets from last year (and the year before that one)

[asimawv]

Drew something up of my brigand, who is showing his support for trans and nonbinaried people :+)

Fun fact: the transgender pride flag was designed in 1999; while we can easily guess the nature of the blue and pink stripes on the flag, the white stripe in the center is to represent those “who are intersex, transitioning or consider themselves having a neutral or undefined gender,” according to the flag’s creator (Source).

[asimawv]

Alrighty, while I have some time before summer session starts, I wanted to address the transphobia/transmedicalism (as I’m told it’s called - you learn something new every day) from one of the ex-members of the 18+ server. I trust the moderation team to handle everything in-house, but it’s also good to say something when something happens.

There is never going to be a time in your journey to becoming who you want to be where you have to punch down at anyone. You don’t have to. I know, because I think everyone's had an experience where they’ve been hurt pretty badly and it gives them the false impression that punching down is not only acceptable but expected of them, to vie for their own legitimacy in the face of a world at large that would rather none of us existed in the first place.

However, if you make it publicly known that you have presupposed that an entire demographic of people are illegitimate or inferior to you, those people are going to be uncomfortable sharing a space with you. There is no promise that you should be allowed to inhabit their intimate spaces and partake in their friendship and trust. That’s really all it is.

To trans and nonbinary peoples: I have a great amount of respect and solidarity for your struggle, and I can only apologize for other people’s misbehavior.

Special thanks to the lads in the House of the Yellow Hand for your input and discussion - I appreciate you guys tremendously. ♡

[asimawv]

Hullo hullo. I don’t normally get too personal on this blog, but I’d like to be more personable here from now on ;+) and there’s never a better time than the present. I went out to see Mortal Kombat tonight with my roommate to celebrate being done with finals, and as I was watching Shang Tsung devour the souls of mortals (I don’t think that’s a spoiler, because that’s a normal Shang Tsung thing to do), I was thinking, “thank god we don’t live in the world of Mortal Kombat. You just have to fight everyone, all the time, who so much as looks at you funny. Or doesn’t offer you an eggroll.” That’s true of both the movie and the games. And it’s true what they say: resentment is the poison you take, hoping it will kill the other person. Life is not like Mortal Kombat, we can choose what hills we want to die on - otherwise, you just get Fatality’d over and over again, and lose all of your quarters to one machine in the arcade. Have a good day or night, wherever you are. :+)

[asimawv]

this is STILL the funniest fucking thing anyone has ever written for darkest dungeon

[asimawv]

A very somber post to be made.

Hullo everyone. I’ll get right to it - in early 2019, I created an 18+ Darkest Dungeon server, only to leave it in late 2019 to focus on my studies. Before leaving I left the server to the very capable Ardent, who appointed some very capable mutual friends to help moderate the server alongside him.

It has come to my attention that racially prejudiced headcanons were posted that glorified race essentialism. The person who posted these apologized, and subsequently was offered an open hand by other members of the server with resources to describe why what was said was rooted in racial prejudice, and the moderation team chalked it up to a moment of carelessness. Then it was discovered that this person had posted that COVID-19 was a curse wrought by the Native Americans. When confronted in private, this person decided to leave the server of their own accord rather than making an effort to reconcile.

What was more disturbing was that, upon being given this information as an explanation for their leave, other members of the server jumped to defensive conclusions, minimized the racially charged incidents, or ignored them entirely to woobify the offender.

Let me make something very clear to you. If your first inclination when faced with someone’s racial prejudices is to minimize, defend, and pretend they did not happen, I invite you to not interact with me or my work until this is no longer the case. I am a POC myself. The blatant disregard for the discomfort this person has caused and the concerted effort to treat this as a ‘missing stair’ shows a harrowing lack of emotional intelligence.

Your apathy speaks volumes about who you are and what you are choosing to be, in this moment.

For those of you who read what this person had written, I want to say: The entire idea of Darkest Dungeon is that being a 'hero' or a 'villain' is entirely context-dependent and that you are not obligated to be the same person you were 45 minutes ago. That’s the whole concept. There is no hero, only a person who took up a mantle because no one else would.

I don’t believe in anyone involved being ‘bad’ people, or irredeemable, or what have you. It doesn’t matter. What matters is saying something or doing something, even when no one expects you to or will do so themselves. Indifference is poison.

That’s all I have to say.

[asimawv]

Hullo hullo! Sorry for the radio silence as of this year (promise I’ll elaborate on it later along with more blog content in general), but for right now I wanted to make something very clear:

If you are racist or have racist headcanons about Darkest Dungeon, my work is not for you.

I cannot stop you from reading The Myth of Sisyphus or my other Darkest Dungeon-related works, and I cannot stop you from consuming my art or other funny haha memes on my blog. But I can deny you your ignorance about the creator of this content thinking you’re a unicellular organism who doesn’t deserve to engage in their work.

I do not care if they are that way unintentionally or out of spite. Your ignorance is your excuse maybe one time, but when it becomes a pattern of behavior, it becomes clear what you really are.

Grow a nuclear envelope for your chromosomes. 

[asimawv]

I write and conceptualize story to music, so I’ve compiled a playlist of 30 Darkest Dungeon-specific songs that I listen to when writing (and subsequently re-writing) in no particular order, which I hope will help you set the vibe too. :+)

Names in bold are links for easy listening - tons of Hozier and Of Monsters and Men up ahead, five minute warning.

1. ‘Fire and the Flood’ - Vance Joy

If you listen to nothing else on this list, listen to this one - it’s the kind of song that’s made for movies about yearning. Folk influences, choruses of trumpets and vocal harmony, and instruments that are layered for a rich, resonant sound. This is the song I imagine Dismas and Reynauld horse-racing through a crowded outdoors market in the hamlet to, and the song I listened to nonstop freshman year when I first started writing The Myth of Sisyphus.

You're the fire and the flood And I'll always feel you in my blood Everything is fine When your hand is resting next to mine Next to mine You're the fire and the flood

The chorus is built around biblical allusions to the fire (the burning bush signifying first contact) and the flood (destruction of the first world), the beginning and end. Every line is similarly evocative of Darkest Dungeon in their simplicity (“I’ve been getting used to waking up with you,” etc.)

2. ‘Soldier, Poet, King’ - The Oh Hellos

By the title alone you can guess who this is for. Even the Guild quote for the Leper approaches these three things as the defining parts of his character (specifically it’s “a ruined man, a warrior, and a poet.”) This song coincidentally has an old world influence to it, with a Medieval Renaissance style from a guitar playing a lute-adjacent melody.

There will come a ruler Whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

To be smeared with oil is to be anointed by a prophet and thus chosen by god himself to be king, just as David was and his boy after him (presumably Solomon). There’s something strangely wistful about the imagery, which is just how I like my songs about bygone kings.

3. ‘Exit Hymn’ - Bear Attack!

This song is about the end of the world in a version where everyone simply stands together in silence watching, rather than having the masses swarming in panic.

Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters. Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters Mute.

It defies Lovecraftian horror, which is based on the premise that “common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large” - it flies in the face of existential nihilism and the despair that it should bring us. That’s why I like this song for deaths in the end-boss fight; it also has a special place for other death-related ideas, like full-party wipes - entire teams of people vanishing into the dungeons, gone insane, holding hands while the darkness surrounds them.

It’s a bare song which has a sanctity to it, mostly just piano and rain and human voices. Just what you would hear at the end of the world.

More under the cut:

4. ‘Pursuit of Glory’ - Jhameel

This song is laid-back. It doesn’t have the Homeric intensity that some of the other songs here do - it’s a guy with a guitar and vocal harmony. By god is it a great piece of writing though (all of Jhameel’s older songs have that quality to them), and all of it is evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

So many eyes set on the path to glory Too many ties, friendship is for the lonely Can't still my heart, my tongue has tasted folly Thirsty for art, hungry for power and money

This is a song for everyone in the barracks, especially the ‘laundry list’ of people and their approaches to the pursuit of glory.

5. ‘Good Old Days’ - Macklemore (feat. Kesha)

This fucker put a Macklemore song in here. I did, yeah. It’s not even the only song with Kesha in it here (I’m sorry.) 

It’s a sentimental pop song, and I am sentimental to a fault. This is Darkest Dungeon AMV material, and I always mishear one of the lines as “we were underground, loaded mercs in that 12-passenger van” so it’s here.

We've come so far, I guess I'm proud And I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smile I've got some scars, I've been around I've felt some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here now Those good old days

6. ‘Past Lives‘ - Kesha

Here it is, the other Kesha song - this was introduced to me by a good friend, also in a Darkest Dungeon context. There’s just something about the lovers spanning time trope and finding each other in one life to the next that is irresistible (for the obvious reason in the context of Darkest Dungeon.) It’s a soft song, totally out of place in Kesha’s typical discography, and has a line about losing someone to the crusades, so... you know.

There's just somethin' about you I know Started centuries ago though You see your kiss is like a lost ghost Only I would know But I, I keep on falling for you Time after time Time after time

7. ‘Viva la Vida’ - Coldplay

You cannot fight this. You know that this is the song for King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, you know it is. Did you know the official name of this genre of music is “Baroque pop”? Yes, that means more songs like this exist. You will live with this information now.

Don’t fight it. Just let it wash over you.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you go there was never, never an honest word And that was when I ruled the world

Mirror, sword, and shield, the three other members of his party, his missionaries in a foreign field. Thinking emoji. I typed that out so I wouldn’t have a repeat of the crab emoji incident.

8. ‘The Boxer’ - Jerry Douglas (feat. Mumford & Sons, Paul Simon)

Partly inspired by the Bible, Simon & Garfunkle’s ‘The Boxer’ is a folk rock song about poverty, loneliness, and homesickness. It’s written and sung in a style that’s strongly reminiscent of older times, and the final verse about its eponymous boxer is particularly powerful:

In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of ev'ry glove that laid him down Or cut him till he cried out In his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" But the fighter still remains

This is what I use for Dismas’ life leading into organized crime and his foolish abandonment of stable job prospects in a half-baked bid for fame, as well as being punched down over and over again but with nowhere else to go. That last part is widely applicable across the cast.

9. ‘I Will Wait’ - Mumford & Sons

I am but a simple man. I see 'folk rock' and add it to my Darkest Dungeon playlist. This song I use for Reynauld - it has that sort of “salt of the earth,” somewhat biblical humility in its choice of words and style. 

Raise my hands Paint my spirit gold And bow my head Keep my heart slow

10. ‘Little Lion Man’ - Mumford & Sons

Have we not beaten this song to death yet? Can you blame us? This is the people’s song. We reserve it for all of our favorite fuck-up characters, as primal as Saturn devouring his son. We love this song. Jesus.

Tremble for yourself, my man, You know that you have seen this all before Tremble little lion man, You'll never settle any of your scores Your grace is wasted in your face, Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck

The line about learning from your mother in particular is why I think of this song for Dismas’ introspection, but I also associate it with the Hellion.

11. ’From Eden’ - Hozier

There’s too much Hozier in my playlists. There is so much of it, and it’s all important to me, says the hoarder. There’s something about profoundly intimate folk music that I love, and god put folk, R&B, blues, and alt rock into a Vitamix for 45 seconds to make Hozier.

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

‘From Eden’ is, according to Hozier, about idolizing someone from a distance, written from the perspective of the devil “looking longingly at something he desires - for everything that he does not have.” I associate this song with the Grave Robber for its playfully nihilistic tone - Audrey does say something to the effect of being left for dead by high society and the affectionate bordering condescending address is on-brand.

12. ‘Cherry Wine’ - Hozier

‘Cherry Wine’ is unabashedly about domestic violence, and its sincerity is heartbreaking, the sanctification of the blood spilled in the name of keeping her.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

This song is strongly tied to the Vestal for me.

13. ‘Work Song’ - Hozier

A song about unconditional love - heaven and hell were just words, indeed.

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

I think of this song for both Dismas and the Abomination - it’s a song about love transcending spiritual and even physical need, complete devotion, but something about it is also not quite right. It’s morbid and excessive, self-pitying, and almost ugly in its sincerity.

14. ‘Sunlight’ - Hozier

The strong gospel influence with the choruses, church organ, religious fervor - I think it makes a great song for traveling scenes and church/altar scenes.

I had been lost to you, sunlight Flew like a moth to you, sunlight oh sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight (sunlight, sunlight) But it is sunlight

15. ‘Arsonist’s Lullabye’ - Hozier

The gospel this time is paired with electric rock instrumentation. Something about the lamentation is unapologetic and matter-of-fact in its disturbing inclinations - this is Paracelsus’ song. Arguably representative of Bounty Hunter and Flagellant as well.

Now that I think about it, it’s great for Abomination as well. Damn.

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

16. ‘We Sink’ - Of Monsters and Men

Of Monsters and Men are closer to the indie rock/pop spectrum with influences of folk, with much less biblical influence and more folklore-inspired lyrics. They make for great trailer and action songs.

We are the sleepers, we bite our tongues We set the fire and we let it burn Through the dreamers, we hear the hum They say come on, come on, let's go So come on, come on, let's go

In Lovecraft’s Cthulu mythos, dreams are how the Old Ones commune with humans on the earth’s surface while they slumber in the ocean depths (Cthulhu fhtagn meaning “Cthulhu is dreaming”); I like to think of the ‘sleepers’ as the heroes being tasked to “set the fire” and the ‘dreamers’ being the Heir and Ancestor driven by some unseen force to unearth the antediluvian underground.

17. ‘I Of The Storm’ - Of Monsters and Men

Very somber song, overwhelmingly piano and snare drum and vocals. Also a great death scene song, or for introspection around the campfire, or played to reveal a major event.

If I could face them If I could make amends With all my shadows I'd bow my head And welcome them

18. ‘King and Lionheart’ - Of Monsters and Men

My favorite OMAM song - it’s clearly written about two children, kind of reminiscent of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ in its fantastical nature, and very upbeat about the end of the world.

His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind Though far away, though far away, though far away We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same

This part is reminiscent of the Leper’s journey, but the mentions of taking over a town, howling ghosts, the end of the world, a black sea and creatures lurking below, etc. are all evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

19. ‘Little Talks’ - Of Monsters and Men

Also very upbeat for its subject matter - according to OMAM, it’s a narrative of a woman speaking with the ghost of her dead husband, or going insane and believing that she’s speaking with her dead husband.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

The call-and-respond style of the song is haunting. I like this song for expeditions and afflicted heroes.

20. ‘Wolves Without Teeth’ - Of Monsters and Men

Suitable for both Occultist and Abomination, being consumed by an unseen and otherworldly force that inhabits them - well, maybe just rarely seen, in the Abomination’s case. Special mention to OMAM’s ‘Human,’ same conceptual backing but more raw.

You hover like a hummingbird Haunt me in my sleep You're sailing from another world Sinking in my sea, oh You're feeding on my energy I'm letting go of it He wants it

21. ‘Desierto’ (Original Motion Picture Score) - Woodkid

This is a full album, because all of it is dark orchestral cinema music described as ‘unsettling,’ with the sole exception of ‘Land of All,’ which has vocals to it. I reserve this album for writing fight scenes and for particularly unsettling events because it’s tense and wordless. I read Junji Ito to this soundtrack too, it’s insanely high-strung and discordant.

22. ‘Iron’ - Woodkid

‘Iron’ qualifies as Baroque pop - you might recognize this as the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations song. The large-scale, cinematic style of it and thematic lyrics make it great for writing about dramatic encounters or brigands.

This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't recall your eyes, your face

23. ‘Never Let You Down’ - Woodkid (feat. LYKKE LI)

Another somber song, orchestral with some industrial noise in the mix - another great introspection song, or one for a scene with some hard decisions to be made.

Will you come along cause I'm about to leave this town In my eyes, a waterfall, all I can hear, a siren call Could you be waiting by the shore, oh I could drown without you Will you be holding out the line when I fall?

24. ‘Run Boy Run’ - Woodkid

Church bells, fast percussion, strong orchestral presence. For chase scenes, obviously, but great for fast-paced sneaking scenes as well. Also has a strong quasi-Medieval fantasy setting style to it.

Tomorrow is another day And you won't have to hide away You'll be a man, boy! But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!

25. ‘I Love You’ - Woodkid

Don’t let the scream effects and aggressive percussion at the beginning deter you (it kind of took me by surprise the first few times too) - it soon fades into more of the church bells and melodic string accompaniment.

Oh yeah, unrequited love song? It’s free (mental) real estate, baby.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves, I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

26. ‘Vagabonds’ - Grizfolk

A rare departure from folk! Grizfolk is alt rock/indie pop. Stylistically it doesn’t match the feeling of Darkest Dungeon, but lyrically it’s almost 1:1 to arrival in the hamlet and the subsequent expeditions. Good song for writing about recruits bonding.

Oh this careless ground, guessing this is home now Oh in no man's land, at least we're still standing And we're all just fighting, some of us will not return And there's no redemption in trying to find your way out

27. ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ - Lorde

Great trailer fuel, if you’ve seen the AC: Unity E3 trailer with this song - I listen to an extended version when writing fights in the Guild, especially one where two heroes are beefing. It’s got a primal kind of thing going on. I also associate this song with the Arbalest - lyrically, it fits her backstory like a glove.

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you

Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on mother nature

28. ‘Torches’ - X Ambassadors

More alt rock/indie pop - kind of a rallying song for dark expeditions, hopeful but still somber in nature - some gospel elements. X Ambassadors’ more popular ‘Renegades’ is also a fun tavern song.

Come on, carry your flame Carry it higher Leave it in the darkness Carry your torches

29. ‘Passing Afternoon’ - Iron & Wine

This is a song I use for reconciliation or domestic scenes - Dismas with Junia in the garden, for example. It’s soft and kind of meandering, and features vintage piano - you know, the piano you heard in the basement of your church turned community center as a child.

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

30. ‘Some Nights’ - Fun.

You know this song, your mom knows this song, everyone knows this song from like, middle school. Thought it’d be fun to end this list on an uplifting and very popular song. This is the song that a Disney adaptation of Darkest Dungeon would use in the Training Montage™ - from the point of view of Reynauld. It hits all of the points - being their commander rather than their equal, his stern and antisocial zealotry with no true ideology behind it, the ghost of his wife.

Verse 2, starting with “Well, that is it, guys, that is all / Five minutes in and I'm bored again” is where I see it transitioning to Dismas.

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end 'Cause I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win (I always win) But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know

_____

Well that’s all from me! Feel free to leave your own recommendations in the replies, and I’d love to know what you think about my personal picks. :+)

[asimawv]

heir’s journal, 1/?

[asimawv]