Ask Bertrand Beaumont

Funeral Of Ann Widdecombe-Beaumont

Friends, Enemies, Loyal Subjects. We are gathered here today to say goodbye to my dearest wife and cow murderer Duchess Ann Widdecombe-Beaumont. Ann was a horrible wife and mother. She also broke the world record for having the most STDs and for having the most children in a single birth. I shall not miss her.

@dr-maze-j-montgomery @dr-martin-rossi @edenbrook-hospital-chapel

dr-bill-lacroix-edenbrook

This old hag... I always knew she was older than she looked. Can't believe a brick killed her and she didn't die during child birth like I always thought she would. She left 43 spawns behind that I'm sure will be as much of a headache as she was. But nevertheless she always kept me entertained even in and times. She stalked me to no end and I almost killed her, but I'm gonna miss her in a way

I'm not. I'm glad I slapped her.

Farts in Swedish

#what is that gif!#what is that!

Ann?!!

Funeral Of Ann Widdecombe-Beaumont

Friends, Enemies, Loyal Subjects. We are gathered here today to say goodbye to my dearest wife and cow murderer Duchess Ann Widdecombe-Beaumont. Ann was a horrible wife and mother. She also broke the world record for having the most STDs and for having the most children in a single birth. I shall not miss her.

@dr-maze-j-montgomery @dr-martin-rossi @edenbrook-hospital-chapel

#anns fairytale funeral

It’s the cake anon here. It wasn’t supposed to be hateful and I’m sorry it came across that way. I’m just very used to wedding cake and figured everyone else was too.

Thank you for apologizing, but I am not really the person you should be saying sorry to. @dr-martin-rossi and Jackie, who has since deactivated are the ones who deserve it. If you would like to apologize personally, I am sure they would both be glad of it. ♥️

#not bertrand #ask mun

levischulerstan-deactivated2019

That’s literally the whole point of the tiers. God. Typically one is the classic fruit cake (gross but it’s tradition) another is vanilla or chocolate or red velvet. Then it’s another one of those options on the final tier or something quirkier - like lemon cake. Uncultured people.

I literally had never heard of each tier being a different flavor

Politeness is free, anon. Different cultures have different traditions, one thing that may seem commonplace to others may be unheard of to different people. We are all learning, regardless of what stage of life we are in but supiority looks good on no one. Please in future try to be kinder, thank you♥️

#not bertrand

@dr-ann-widdecombe You....cheated.

We weren't living it up in the bedroom anymore, and I had to get satisfaction somewhere.

You're not exactly fantastic, it's all loosey goosey down there but you don't catch me having it in the dining room with some random stranger!

This is me searching for your... you know what.

Need I say more?

How inappropriate.

#beranns fairytale divorce #open heart crossover rp

You hardly have grounds to say such things.

THIS IS FOR BESSIE!

@dr-ann-widdecombe You....cheated.

We weren't living it up in the bedroom anymore, and I had to get satisfaction somewhere.

You're not exactly fantastic, it's all loosey goosey down there but you don't catch me having it in the dining room with some random stranger!

This is me searching for your... you know what.

#hotdog down a hallway #beranns fairytale divorce

Need I say more?

@dr-ann-widdecombe You....cheated.

We weren't living it up in the bedroom anymore, and I had to get satisfaction somewhere.

You're not exactly fantastic, it's all loosey goosey down there but you don't catch me having it in the dining room with some random stranger!

@dr-ann-widdecombe You....cheated.

I wanna fuck ms widdecombe

Are you sure you're feeling well?

Meet me in my bedroom tonight at 9. Don't be late 😉

dr-jackie-varma-deactivated2019

Hello, Edenbrook

My name is Reverend Diego Soto, and I'm the new head chaplain here at Edenbrook Hospital. Having been told about my predecessor by @dr-naveen-banerji I can assure you that I am not a "fire-and-brimstone-everyone-except-true-believers-goes-to-hell" kind of preacher. I'm more of a "we-are-all-God's-creation-and-equal-in-His-sight".

The chapel is open 24/7 for quiet prayer and contemplation. I will be available Monday through Friday from 8 AM to 5 PM for spiritual counseling or if you would just like to chat.

The schedule of services is as follows:

Jewish Shabbat services: Friday 7 PM, Saturday Noon

Non-denominational Christian services: Saturday 5 PM (English), 7 PM (Spanish); Sunday 9 AM (English), 10:30 AM (Spanish), Noon (Bilingual)

All services are interpreted for the deaf

@dr-ethan-j-ramsey @dr-bryce-lahela @drinesdelarosa-mirani @dr-alex-valentine @dr-aurora-emery @dr-elijah-greene @dr-jackie-varma @dr-kylo-ren @dr-landry-olsen-md @dr-maze-j-montgomery @dr-oliver-choi @theactualzaidmirani

Welcome to Absurdbrook.

Can you bless my cow? @edenbrook-hospital-chapel

I'm sorry, Mr. Beaumont. I only bless animals on St. Francis of Assisi's feast day.

I was talking about my wife. @dr-ann-widdecombe

dr-jackie-varma-deactivated2019

Hello, Edenbrook

My name is Reverend Diego Soto, and I'm the new head chaplain here at Edenbrook Hospital. Having been told about my predecessor by @dr-naveen-banerji I can assure you that I am not a "fire-and-brimstone-everyone-except-true-believers-goes-to-hell" kind of preacher. I'm more of a "we-are-all-God's-creation-and-equal-in-His-sight".

The chapel is open 24/7 for quiet prayer and contemplation. I will be available Monday through Friday from 8 AM to 5 PM for spiritual counseling or if you would just like to chat.

The schedule of services is as follows:

Jewish Shabbat services: Friday 7 PM, Saturday Noon

Non-denominational Christian services: Saturday 5 PM (English), 7 PM (Spanish); Sunday 9 AM (English), 10:30 AM (Spanish), Noon (Bilingual)

All services are interpreted for the deaf

@dr-ethan-j-ramsey @dr-bryce-lahela @drinesdelarosa-mirani @dr-alex-valentine @dr-aurora-emery @dr-elijah-greene @dr-jackie-varma @dr-kylo-ren @dr-landry-olsen-md @dr-maze-j-montgomery @dr-oliver-choi @theactualzaidmirani

Welcome to Absurdbrook.

Can you bless my cow? @edenbrook-hospital-chapel

is thinking of his beloved Bessie after a trip to the washroom.

Here... don't let her near your wife

You brought me a cow? I shall guard her with my life. Mazey Moo the second. This one actually moos.

I know what it's like when someone takes something you love from you... Like your wife did. I cannot believe you're naming her that. My name has been tarnished

You may see her name in lights, perhaps I should take her to Cordonia's annual cow show.

There's an annual cow show?!

Absolutely! All of the cows in Cordonia come from far and wide, they are judged and the winner gets a little prize. A Cordonian Ruby for the cow, and free milk for the rest of the year for the owner. Although it is more an event that you can get bragging rights about winning. There is a cow train. Cow archery. Cow throwing knives. Cow hockey. You name it, we have got it!

I-

How-

HOW THE FUCK?!

newsagent-kim-kardashian

I have a like, article in the newspaper.

I'm surprised you are literate, let alone having your own article.

newsagent-kim-kardashian

I'm not sure if I'm laughing or defecating.

is thinking of his beloved Bessie after a trip to the washroom.

Here... don't let her near your wife

You brought me a cow? I shall guard her with my life. Mazey Moo the second. This one actually moos.

I know what it's like when someone takes something you love from you... Like your wife did. I cannot believe you're naming her that. My name has been tarnished

You may see her name in lights, perhaps I should take her to Cordonia's annual cow show.

There's an annual cow show?!

Absolutely! All of the cows in Cordonia come from far and wide, they are judged and the winner gets a little prize. A Cordonian Ruby for the cow, and free milk for the rest of the year for the owner. Although it is more an event that you can get bragging rights about winning. There is a cow train. Cow archery. Cow throwing knives. Cow hockey. You name it, we have got it!

I-

How-

HOW THE FUCK?!

newsagent-kim-kardashian

I have a like, article in the newspaper.

I'm surprised you are literate, let alone having your own article.

is thinking of his beloved Bessie after a trip to the washroom.

Here... don't let her near your wife

You brought me a cow? I shall guard her with my life. Mazey Moo the second. This one actually moos.

I know what it's like when someone takes something you love from you... Like your wife did. I cannot believe you're naming her that. My name has been tarnished

You may see her name in lights, perhaps I should take her to Cordonia's annual cow show.

There's an annual cow show?!

#cordonia's annual cow show

Absolutely! All of the cows in Cordonia come from far and wide, they are judged and the winner gets a little prize. A Cordonian Ruby for the cow, and free milk for the rest of the year for the owner. Although it is more an event that you can get bragging rights about winning. There is a cow train. Cow archery. Cow throwing knives. Cow hockey. You name it, we have got it!

is thinking of his beloved Bessie after a trip to the washroom.

Here... don't let her near your wife

You brought me a cow? I shall guard her with my life. Mazey Moo the second. This one actually moos.

I know what it's like when someone takes something you love from you... Like your wife did. I cannot believe you're naming her that. My name has been tarnished