Ask Crypto and Mirage

[ask-cryptage]

Hey Crypto and Mirage! How are you guys? It’s been a while since I asked you guys. (Also OP, how are you doing? Is everything okay?)

Mirage: Hey there, long time no see. I am doing good, I mean- We are doing great! Cryppie is his usual grumpy 31 year old self.

Crypto: Stop talking like I woudn‘t sit right next to you.

The trickster gently lays a hand on the hacker‘s thigh.

Mirage: See? Everything‘s fine! Apart from Crypto being pretty busy for the past few days. Mhh... recalling it now, it was a kinda strange situation. I caught Miss British Plonker aka Rampart and him talking about a girl. Okay well, I didn‘t really caught them because they were talking while I was around and- forget what I just.. whatever. Said girl really seemed to spark my dearest boy‘s attention. Huh, sparked. Get it? That‘s-

Crypto: That‘s enough, you‘re right with that.

Mirage: Wattson would have laughed.

Crypto: As Elliott already said, we‘re good.

[ask-cryptage]

Fiiiine, hon, everyone know you love Mirage. /wink

Crypto: Do I really have to react to everything!? Besides, I never actually said that I don‘t.. love... him.

[ask-cryptage]

Cause the spooky season is here, any ideas for halloween costumes for you two? Cute couples costumes maybe?

Mirage: Oh I looove Halloween (and pumpkins). Cryppie has kinda avoided the topic until now, for multiple reasons, so it’s now or never!

—————————————————————

Mirage: Hey babe, what’s up? Can I get your attention for a kinda serious topic for a moment?

Before Crypto can say anything mean Mirage takes his hand. He seems to be confused and also a bit concerned.

Crypto: What is it?

Mirage: I‘ve been thinking about us a lot recently and...

Crypto looks legitimately scared now.

Mirage: It‘s time to talk about our... Halloween costumes! 💕

Crypto: ... 뭐래

Mirage: Probably the most comfortable way for you would be to put on your vampire costume from last year and I‘d do a werewolf then. I‘ve always wanted some cute ears and a tail. 💕

Crypto: ...

Mirage: Not a fan of that, huh? Then how about ‚Sexy Blisk‘?

Crypto: Are you out of your mind?

Mirage: ‚Sexy Revenant‘ then?

Crypto: Seems like you have a strong wish to die...

Mirage sighs.

„I guess that’s a ‚no‘, let’s stick to Vampire & Werewolf-Action then!“

[ask-cryptage]

awwwww Crypto feel lonely, eh?

The hacker blinks a few times, his lips are forming a thin line:

„Lonely? Me? I wish, but this.. this clown I am stuck with never leaves my side and keeps me from doing my work properly. So it‘s a strong no, I am far from feeling lonely.“

It gets quiet. At least until Crypto decides to speak up again, his voice full of sarcasm:

„But thanks for your concern!“

[ask-cryptage]

Where are you guys???! 😭

Mirage: Woah hello there! It’s been some time. Lots of things were going on during our summer break. We found a scary head, that is now somehow Pahtfinder‘s girlfriend, haha... super strange if you ask me, robots am I right? As for Crypto and I, we are right here...

Crypto: ...waiting for someone to ask something. Of course.

Crypto lets out a sarcastic laugh.

Mirage: Babe! Stop mocking our followers! Please ask something you guys :(

[ask-cryptage]

(diff anon then crypto-can-you-be-my-friend one) *adjusts my anon sunglasses* you mean Gunther can't see through our glasses? and altering face shape? well, some of us aren't normally a 2-dimensional circle with a darker gray crescent acting as shading, Crypto. It's more of a...look. Like... those bleach blond dreadlocks! Those were a 'look'!

You can tell that Crypto is more annoyed than usual by the way he knits his eyebrows and leans backwards a little.

“Don’t remind me of those dreadlocks.”

He sighs, completely ignoring the rest.

“It was just a costume and a joke, but most of all not my idea.”

[ask-cryptage]

Hi! Just wanted to ask where the banner for your page came from? Trying to find the original artist but my search isn’t really working out :( Thanks in advance!

Hi there :)

We had a deal with @_is_nothing on Twitter, and also credited them in our first introduction post. They are a really talented artist ✨ Be sure to check them out!

[ask-cryptage]

So we all know Mirages favourite food are Porkchops, but what is yours Crypto? Can not imagine that you enjoy Porkchops, sorry Mirage!!

Crypto lets both hands disappear in his pockets as he thinks about what to say.

“I don’t really feel like giving away such information or, as you may call it, funfacts right now.. but you’re right. Porkchops aren’t my favorite. Elliot and I agreed on something which combines both our favorite things. He...”

The hacker considered once again whether he should drop it or not.

“He calls it cupchops. So the rumors are true that I indeed enjoy cup noodles... because they are simple and can be done without any effort while I am working.”

[ask-cryptage]

Whoops forgot something: please stay alive long enough so that your fans can witness your wedding - PLEASE?!

„Oh haha, we try to stay alive... I promise, but...“

Mirage peers over to Crypto to catch his reaction about the wedding.

Crypto: Marriage is a big commitment, you know?

You can see the disappointment on Mirage‘s face for a second before his charming pokerface smile sets in.

Mirage: Right! A BIG commitment. And we don’t like committing... right?

He lets out a laugh and tries not to sound too disappointed.

[ask-cryptage]

you two are my fave legends!! I adore you and it's real fun to watch you during the games! Keep up the tease ;)

Mirage: „Wow, hey there! I‘m glad to hear we are your favorite! People really seem to enjoy seeing us together.

We‘ve been hesitating about bringing our relationship into the ring, but when we are on the same squad I personally can’t help to tease him a bit.“

Mirage smiles widely and pokes against Crypto’s cheek before giving him a hug.

The hacker looked like he doesn‘t want to be here as he tried to endure what Mirage did to him. The hug was fine but that poking part? He gives the trickster a look which was screaming „Stop“.

But somehow his facial muscles relax and a baby tiny hint of a smile can be seen.

Crypto: ... Thank you for all the support you are giving me. I appreciate that, I guess. Fans are very important, so that‘s that.

He looks at Mirage for approval.

[ask-cryptage]

who’s the better kisser?

Crypto breathes in air to answer when Mirage bursts into the scene.

Mirage: Me! Of course.

Crypto: ...of course. Because he is more experienced, if you know what I mean.

[ask-cryptage]

Hey Crypto, Can you be my friend? (I'm a lonely and shy person, so) 😞

Crypto: Maybe I could become your friend if you wouldn‘t hide your face in the shadows like this. You gotta understand that one can‘t trust everyone these days.

The hacker makes a certain gesture with his hand which causes that his drone to fly over to him. A green light appears as it scans the stranger.

„Mhh... Not even Gunther is able to identify you. What are you using? Face filter? Devices to alter your face shape? Tell me.“

[ask-cryptage]

Hey, Mirage, how much do you love Crypto?

Mirage: Okay peeps of the Outlands, here is the tea. I love this man so much, that I would write an apology for him to one of his fans. Knowing that he probably already forgot about it and that fan should totally become one of my fans. Because I am so cute and precious and do nice boyfriend things for him all the time.

Mirage finishes his comment with a cute pose, trying to look precious and showing off maybe a bit too much booty and ends up almost falling off the bed.

He laughs, sits down and smiles.

„All jokes aside, I love him to the moon and back. He seems cold and reserved at first glance, but there is so much more to him than just cool hacking skills and all the insults about people’s intelligence.“

[ask-cryptage]

Crypto, You hurt my Feelings... I don't think I'll ever look at you the same way 😭

Mirage: Before I tell everyone how much I love this sometimes incredibly rude bitch of a man

This is a public service announcement

Our favorite korean boy Crypto is sorry that he hurt your feelings. He just can’t admit it. It’s very hard for him to admit anything... so please be patient.

[ask-cryptage]

Hey Crypto, Who ISN'T an Idiot to you? 🤣

Crypto: Maybe people who are capable of asking relevant questions?

Mirage finger-guns.

Mirage: Shots fired! And they are hitting... our fans! Babe, no... stop!

[ask-cryptage]

crypto how much you love mirage?

Crypto: Do you want me to exemplify that on a scale from one to whatever or something?

He leans back in the chair he was currently sitting on, both hands disappearing in the jacket’s pockets. One corner of his mouth turns upwards just a little.

„It‘s safe to say that, considering my whole life, there are only three people, which I truly love. Elliott is one of them. The other two are family. To make this answer easier for you: I love him very much. Gotta rate it 11 out of 10 idiots.“

[ask-cryptage]

I have a Ask, Mirage Should prank Crypto into eating a Poky stick with him (Just a suggestion😄)

Mirage: Oh that’s a brilliant idea, Crypto loves Pokys and I love kisses. I‘ll buy some 💖

-some time later-

Crypto: Why did Mirage deepthroat a Poky Stick I was eating and nearly choked just to kiss me? Don’t give him such stupid ideas!