Write to the All-Knowing Mailbox @ask-mailbox-618 - Tumblr Blog

So the brothers have their happy ending, sailing around the world, yadda yadda. Does Stanley still have his sticky fingers, though? (Thieving, if you need me to be Literal.)

Stanley has definitely continued to pick pockets, shoplift, and the like, though less often than before.

#anonymous

See minute 2:14

https://youtu.be/ZmInkxbvlCs

You certainly are continuing to bother me after clearly being defeated, I’ll grant you that.

#submission

Are there other versions of you in different dimensions?

Yes, there is a mailbox in nearly every different dimension in the multiverse except the Nightmare Realm itself.

#porkpop

Have you met Stanford Pines?

Yes, he has sent me letters. Again, that information can be found on this “blog” that he himself set up.

#anonymous

What’s your relationship with Bill? Do you know each other? After all there can’t be that many omniscient beings in the multiverse?

We never directly conversed, but we knew of each other.

Unfortunately.

You are correct that they’re aren’t that many omniscient beings in the multiverse, but Bill was not omniscient. There are many things omniscient beings can do that he catastrophically failed at, such as telling identical twins apart.

#anonymous

Your ask page is titled “seek enlightenment”. Is it possible that by being less of a pretentious jerk you could prevent such in infinitesimal existence. Would it really have hurt to humor a child on her gummy worm video? Or perhaps educate her on the danger of shoving that many worms into your nasal cavity. What’s the point of being all knowing if you don’t share that knowledge, however futile that may be?

Your second sentence seems to lack a question mark. If you wanted an answer, you should have included one.

Anyways, I will tolerate no further inquiries on the matter. Stanford may have somehow accidentally disabled the fuse I require to explode, but I can still cause your messages to disappear into the void.

#anonymous

Why are geese the embodiment of evil?

Four thousand years ago, the first goose was born when a fool who thought they were smarter than an all-seeing mailbox was cursed as punishment for their hubris. All of their descendants are also cursed to be equally infuriating.

#anonymous

Why is Lusamine such a terrible mother?

The loss of Mohn was by no means an excuse for her behavior, but it certainly didn’t help. It’s a shame no one thought to check the bean island.

(The real question, which even I cannot answer, is what GameFreak was thinking when they wrote the plot of USUM. Almost every character’s arc is worse, and there are multiple plot holes.)

#anonymous

You know, for an omniscient mail box you sure are touchy. Surely you’ve seen worse.

You’re right, I have seen worse. I’ve seen worse than you could ever comprehend. I’ve seen things that would drive your puny mortal mind to insanity.

I’ve seen eternity. I’ve seen the beginning and the ending and the new beginning after the ending. I’ve seen everything loop over and over, again and again. And I’ve been answering questions for all of it.

I think I have a right to decide who’s worthy of learning the secrets of the multiverse, don’t I? I think that after all the cycles, the repetition, the futility of existence that your puny mortal mind is blissfully unaware of, I have a right to grow tired of ridiculous children’s pranks and uncreative questions about lottery numbers!

Try confining yourself to doing nothing but answering the questions of others for a few decades, and maybe then you’ll have an infinitesimally small fraction of an iota of understanding of why I might be touchy!!

Oh, who am I deceiving.

No one would ever bother asking you anything.

#anonymous

Hey, it's Stan Pines. Do ya think if there's some new gizmo or somethin' that could, uhh... I dunno, reel in more customers for Soos? But, hey, don't tell Soos I did this for him.. Nobody needs to know I got some semblance of a heart....

Soos is doing quite well in the Mystery Shack at the moment, actually. He’s a lot better at giving tours than you.

#anonymous

Why are birds?

Because during their evolutionary history, it became advantageous for certain theropod dinosaurs to develop the traits you associate with birds today.

#anonymous

What’s your opinion on gummy worms?

Real worms are gummy enough. Gummy worms have no purpose other than being used by children to do unspeakably disgusting things.

Perhaps if you’d read the rules page, which I so kindly set up for people like you, you would see that that question has in fact already been answered.

#anonymous

Can you give us a sample of a meme we will only understand in the future?

the escape velocity to leave the planet saturn

#porkpop

How to tell if she's gay

Asking her is the most reliable way.

#anonymous

How do I regain my motivation to do things?

Try starting by making yourself do small tasks, things that can be completed in five to ten minutes. Also, remind yourself of the benefits or enjoyment you could get out of doing certain things.

#anonymous

Why did the Time Giants go extinct ?

Hubris. They tried to create a new dimension of their own that existed outside of time, but mistakes were made, and they were permanently trapped.

Extinct, I should clarify, is a shorthand term — in this dimension, they exist no longer, but they are theoretically alive, just in stasis. They can only be freed by a adult Time Giant who isn’t trapped in such a state, and since Time Baby cannot grow to an adult without his family, there is no hope of them ever escaping.

#anonymous

Why do some people call you passive aggressive?

You don’t have to say “some people,” I know who you’re referring to.

Bill Cipher often called me passive aggressive, as well as a blabbermouth, because he was jealous that I was all-knowing and he wasn’t, while the Pines family calls me passive aggressive because they think they should have the uninfringeable right to not only get all the answers from me that they want, but also send me videos of horrific things being done with gummi worms.

#anonymous

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Write to the All-Knowing Mailbox