Ask a Completely Random Sonic IDW Character Anything

Ask a question, who knows who's gonna answer?

[ask-random-sonic]

How this works

Hello, and welcome to my ask blog. This works a little differently than other ask blogs in the sense that it isn't tied to a specific character. Instead, people's questions will be answered by a completely random character from the Sonic IDW comics, you have no idea who'll answer.

So, simply put, ask a question here, get an (attempted) in-character answer from... someone.

How is the random character chosen?

I use the Sonic Fandom wiki's random page with the category set to "IDW Publishing characters". I will try to avoid re-rolling as much as possible.

Rules?

Gonna keep the rules loose on this one.

Ask questions in good faith. This is supposed to be weird and fun.

I can choose not to answer a question for any reason, or no reason.

Have fun.

[ask-random-sonic]

If you were given a kazoo and told that if you played it you would get 100 million dollars at the cost of 100 million people dying,

Would you play it?

Dr.Starline: Anyone who suggests such a thing is clearly insane and I would not put anything they hand me anywhere near my mouth.

Overlooking that, I have no need of that form of currency and it would be a monumental waste of resources dealing with the fallout.

While I am certain I would be able to find some use out of it if I gave it some thought, an instrument with that kind of destructive power probably would be best hidden away somewhere where the common folk won't happen across it.

[ask-random-sonic]

Do you like Piña Coladas & getting caught in the rain?

Charmy Bee: Yeah! I'm not that in to yoga, but I totally have half a brain! We should be pen pals!

[ask-random-sonic]

What's the difference between a large rock and boulder?

Shadow Android: ...

[ask-random-sonic]

is there a hobby or activity you want to get into but haven't found the time yet?

Knuckles the Echidna: I wouldn't mind doing a full treasure expedition some day. Not just poking through the ruins, but actually going somewhere with a team retrieve and study artifacts.

[ask-random-sonic]

From a kid: could you give more light?

Gardon the Koala: Certainly. It would be my pleasure.

[ask-random-sonic]

Are you the kind of person that needs help opening jars or helps others open jars instead?

The Time Eater: I am, in fact, quite adept at opening not only jars, but other various food storage items such as cans, bottles and the fabric of reality. I did a gig as an electric can opener for some extra spending money during college, and that led me down an interesting career path as a paper shredder. I was shredding some confidential documents for a primordial entity who saw great potential in me and set me up with a gig as a, get this, mythical being with control over space and time itself. Man, Chris m'dude I'll never forget what you did for me back then, I was living THE life. Of course, I let it all go to my head and ended up crashing some dude's party for a shady man with a mustache. Absolutely RUINED my career there, talk about workplace drama. Anyway since retiring from that line of work I have found a stable office job and have a wife and two kids. I'll admit that it isn't as satisfying of a career however every time I look into my young son's eyes while opening up a jar of cosmic energy for him, I know I made the right decision.

[ask-random-sonic]

i know what you did.

Zavok: You say while sniveling behind anonymity like a coward.

So what if you know what I did? Only an idiot wouldn't know what I did!

[ask-random-sonic]

would you ever consider becoming a parent? if you already are one, how do you feel about parenting?

Claire Voyance: I haven't really put much thought into parenting. It just doesn't feel like it's something relevant to me.

Maybe it's the war making me feel this way, but for some reason I don't think that's entirely it.

[ask-random-sonic]

What’s your favorite weather and why is it thunderstorms?

Shadow the Hedgehog: If you already knew my favorite weather, Anon, why are you wasting my time by asking?

"Weather" wasn't a concern aboard the ARK, so I didn't fully grasp the annoyance of it until I experienced it first-hand. Even with modern technology, predicting it is unreliable and it changes suddenly with barely any warning. The rain gets so heavy it's all you can hear, and visibility is severely restricted and you can't even smell anything but dirt. And speaking of dirt; it gets everywhere. And for some reason the bucket loads of water falling from the sky doesn't wash it away like it does with everything else! The wind is blowing everything around making everything an obstacle and if that wasn't bad enough then the sky begins getting torn apart by electric blasts so powerful the ground quakes under you. And the way it just lights everything up makes the sky seem so large that there is no mistaking the amount of raw power in nature with hardly any purpose at all.

And then it just stops. It rains just as heavy but it seems quieter somehow. It feels like the moments after the end of a battle.... and it just happens for no reason. Everyone acts as though it is just a normal part of every day life. And it is.

It's.... impressive.

[ask-random-sonic]

If you had to replace your dominant arm with one tool, which one would it be?

Zeena: Ung, that you would even suggest I replace one of my limbs with someone like Eggman, or Starline is just plain insulting. Better hope you have a favorite tool ready to replace your arm, Shisei11, because when I find you you're gonna need it.

[ask-random-sonic]

Do you like eating a restaurants? What's your favorite thing to order?

Sonic the Hedgehog: Who has time to sit and wait for food? Fast food is alright, but the real food is the stuff you get from food trucks. Seriously, one loop around the boardwalk and you've got onion rings, a milkshake, and a chili dog!

[ask-random-sonic]

You didn't happen to betray your whole team for your own benefit and are now chased by the sole survivor, are you?

Miles "Tails" Prower: Tangle, I know this is you.

[ask-random-sonic]

Who's the REAL ultimate lifeform?

Rouge the Bat: Well, if you don't consider his temper, his questionable sense of fashion, or his hasty and arrogant lack of regard for himself and others, I would probably say it's Shadow.

But I do consider them so I guess Omega will have to do.

[ask-random-sonic]

If i theoretically moved at the speed of light, what would happen if I turned on a flashlight? Would it go faster?

Benedict: ... (If I am making the assumption that you are holding the flashlight, I would conclude that the flashlight would move the same speed as you regardless of its powered status.)

[ask-random-sonic]

Thoughts on marshmallows?

Miles "Tails" Prower (Classic): They're pretty good if you can overlook what they're made out of!

[ask-random-sonic]

Do you put ketchup in the fridge?

Clutch the Opossum: I like my Chao running at peak performance. While discipline is essential for fostering obedience, long term refrigeration slows a Chao's reaction time and makes them useless for races. I prefer other means of discipline for Ketchup, as well as my other Chao.