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O(-( my dad asked me about what jobs ive applied to and pushed me on stuff and straight up, I know I’ve applied to a bunch of shit and compromised on stuff but my dad doesn’t know that and now I feel like depressed grah

#vent #ive looked into stuff! stop implying im not doing enough #I love my family but sometimes they are so grah

Im exploding badly now I fear 😔 a good amount cause I really should make dinner rn but ughhhh I have to pack and clean and ohhhhh tariffs… I forgot to adjust for canadian dollars and the tariff is more than the cost of it and hevohsvohs its paid off by money I didn’t expect to get but I’ve been using that excuse for lots lately and and o(-( please life im stupid frugal and I was only just starting to use my money in a normal way but im so worried about unemployment cause being employed is the only way one I feel sane cause I have a routine but most importantly dont feel bad for buying stuff. My parents are lovely, it wouldnt be an issue and it’ll be past when I am paying rent. But I really… I need a job theres a reason I took a summer job instead of taking time off to apply for full time jobs, cause I know it takes a while and I was hoping id figure it out while I have work but instead im applying to like a job a day and getting nothing. And I have to leave this job early cause my stupid lease is shorter than told but hey at least it means I’m not shortening my life more from herbicides… I love life. I want to be able to actually live it and enjoy it but I just cant with the economy and job market right now… thats a lie. I am enjoying it do you see how I talk about media and friends. I know life is good its just hard and stupid

#this was supposed to go on main but then I spiraled over getting a job so hah. I want a job. I want a job im passionate and happy with.#one im not spending hours after venting about it to fellow workers. And they’ll still give me shit pay… haha yeah whats the importance of #the people that make the world actually better #by taking care of the animals and nature in it. and keeping the places people get enjoyment from running. why would we get paid anything #we only need computer men but oh also you kids that just got out of college hah you don’t get to have a job we get free labor from you in #school and then kick you out to unemployment despite you getting this major in part cause it pays well #that rant is on my friends behalf btw. god…#I always think of myself as the put together job having one but. but what i dont know #maybe im saying a part of me wants to be jealous. But I know theres nothing to be jealous of #I couldnt even say what it wants to be jealous about. people not having jobs? you know theyre suffering. everyone is suffering in this stupi #job market. God. I need to make dinner #vent

Watching legs’ stream and uhhhh got scared at mentioning this is not some drama thing to watch. I need to be clear how serious this stuff is despite me joking about my gossip loving and I never mean to discount the stuff happening, I hope that comes out in the stuff I reblog and say about it when talking to people directly that are in the fandom

#and also my gossiping is to agree about crappy stuff in a joking matter or a thank god someone else feels this way but I would never share #something told to me in secret. I swear im nice and respectful though you can’t really take my word for it other than experience

Man… how I just know mentioning the mcyt discourse to my friend would lead to the worst discussion ever of see people are bad and you can lose friends like that most importantly be so ridiculously close to the thing that we both went through with friends of ours that he will never be over

#oh someone saying someone sexually assaulted someone and limiting who can talk with who you say #to be clear I was not close to the people that stuff happened with so this is nlt something badly impacting me in that style but my friend

Oh my God what is happening. Guys of the past stop shitting on avid for transphobia reasons there was actual reasons. And now something that is so nothing and sounds like switching up on someone when its realized theyre a wrongun but is actually just me being really interested in the meta of vsmp andnot saying it too harshly in the past, like owen and others went in with some lore but avid explicitly said he was going in with lore only into vsmp and im really curious how people that are deep on critiquing vamps think about that cause it has been started it wasn’t supposed to be lore heavy, and then it was in part cause avid full sended

#this is so nothing ignore it

Gossip lover at heart over here, yes no pushing stuff… oh hangout will be a bit longer nice I can look at whats happening longer

Its… interesting watching myself get a trigger more set in stone. Like going about my life like hey, youre aware of how mentions of ___ are going to mess you up in a couple months right, just making sure you know so you can get used to it now by imagining how it could trigger you

#this is my vent blog I dont need to block out the trigger and you could probably figure out from context clues if you try #and its a common one so I don’t need people to tag it especially for me but yknow. internet safety or whatever

God I hate this guy! Yeah sure ask me venty questions with no warning when I’m having a wonderful day and ruin. Yeah sure man im not in the mood to help and people cannot always be available for you, doesn’t mean you should kill yourself over it

#vent #tw suicide

I care too much for this guy who’s explicitly told me that he doesn’t care if what he says hurts people anymore. Im letting this guy off too much cause he used to be my best friend and he has depression. Time for a whole day probably one on one with him cause I know he’ll feel left out and depressed if I dont… I sound so harsh I just am so done with people not responding to me

milkyway-galaxary

I need to blow up! Please god people have plans in advance

yappingmil

I am. Going to crash out so badly if this guy has no plans for getting home

#what man do you plan on getting lost in the woods after this!?!?#do you plan on killing yourself in front of us all forever changing the directory of our lives??? cause youve already done that #tw suicide

Mrmrmr I am not okay right now and thats okay. And expected! Who is okay when they graduate. And I don’t want to talk about it but also im telling everyone and i just want my body to stop hating me why does it do this

I AM GENUINELY GOING TO KILL TUMBLR ADS FOR STOPPING MY MUSIC. SHUT UP YOU ARE NOT MY COMFORT MUSIC THAT HITS WAY TO EXACT TO HOW IM FEELING OF THE NEED FOR THE WORLD TO JUST STOP AND SLOW DOWN

#cw caps #I NEED TO KILL PEOPLE ALL OF A SUDDEN. I HEAR PEOPLE OUTSIDE IM GONNA CRASHOUT OVER NOTHING and I texted my parents about being stressed. so #its clear its real bad but its going to be okay #and in the shower even I was distracting myself by singing music but I stopped and went no. I need to feel emotions right now

Fuuuuck man I need to sleep. I dont want to do tomorrow I have to get groceries, and laundry, and get ready for my parents visiting, and finish this stupid paper. I just want to go to my last boardgame club tomorrow. Cant that be the only thing I have to do. And I really truly was going to lock in and do all of this work today but then my stupid ass period decided now to kick in, and then I spent 2 hours being locked into other stuff cause I needed to be a distraction for a friend from self harming and I feel so bad that I like. Am lowkey blaming them when I probably shouldn’t but just. I had plans, and im so tired, and im stressed. I probably wouldnt have even done more if they werent I really wanted to sleep the day away but. No thats what future is for. And I shouldn’t be stressed I get a B no matter what basically for that project, but its a group one and the others look like theyve done so much and I have to get sources which I despise

#cw swearing #vent #I was supposed to have time. I schedule things im the scheduler but it was so bad today. to where im too fucking tired to complete the rough #draft right now I cant #and ahhhh I hate this project it was so last minute and i was planning on doing it early but they didn’t have the instructions out and its d #due my graduation date. I am supposed to have more time but I can’t #and I have stupid time blindness that despite multiple of these being short tasks they each feel like I need an hour to do and I have a #meeting at 4 so I need this paper done by then but groceries is only open before then so that cuts into time #and I need to eat after that and then bgc so I dont have time after to get ready and I don’t even know when I’m doing things friday ahhhhhhg

segamascott

AITA for smiling and laughing

#ruining the joke of this post by saying my roommate makes me feel this sometimes #like omg i told you to not comment on hearing me through the walls and why is me trying to be respectful and not laugh too loudly the wrong #thing cause it sounds like crying to you which makes you cry???

Im tired and someone was slightly annoying sighhhhh guess I need to blow up

Mrmrmmr and it sounds like theres a /derogatory when they respond to me saying im going to play blood on the clocktower with my online friends mrmrmr

#like dude I also hear you through the walls im not gonna be jealous about it

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