Ask (TFP) Ratchet

Hello, humans. I have been forced to...I mean, persuaded, to work on my human interactions. Feel free to ask me something if you want and I’ll get to you when I can.

[ask-tfpratchet]

have a cube for your troubles

Busy.

[ask-tfpratchet]

Megs is a dick but he’s more bitey than anything. He eats once to twice a month because of how his species is. He’s a menace.

Let’s switch it up.

This is Miss Pyro. She’s a GFP (green fluorescent protein) melanoid axolotl and she turns 9 this year.

…is….. is it still… online??

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okay so i’m curious, i have this thing that happens to me a lot, if i’m dehydrated (i usually am) i sometimes get lightheaded when i stand up because my blood rushes to my feet because gravity but because i’m dehydrated i don’t have enough blood to keep the oxygen supply to my brain consistent so it starts to shut down some parts of my brain (usually sight and hearing first) and if it’s bad enough i actually faint

do bots have anything like that?

Yes there are some conditions similar. Though our energon flow doesn’t affect us quite as quickly due to our bodies’ ability to store energy and data. A bit can be near empty and still function, albeit not effectively.

As for fainting spells there is a condition similar. When a system in the bot’s body related to their processor - or brain - does not have the ability to store the energy from energon effectively, that can start a forced reboot. It is basically the body trying to restart itself to make sure it is still functioning. It is rare, but it happens. It’s called Chronic Reboot Syndrome.

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Hello Ratchet! I'm really curious. What's the wildest thing you've had to treat? Team Prime has gotten themselves into some crazy stuff I bet.

To be honest I’m not sure I have one particular thing that comes to mind.

If you mean on Earth only: There was that time that Bulkhead crashed into a data center storage while in battle. Head first. The data shock infected his processor. He spoke in memes for a week. That was definitely a strange one.

I still have no clue what ‘er mer gersh’ means. And I don’t think I want to.

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heyaa pearl’s here. So I was wondering, how do you cybertronians learn human languages? Ando bien curiosa.

Nuestras mentes son capaces de descargar cualquier idioma. Incluso existen partes de nuestro cerebro dedicadas específicamente a esta tarea. Una conexión rápida a Internet nos proporciona lo necesario para aprender cualquier idioma que necesitemos saber, independientemente de dónde nos encontremos.

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did you need this?

Ah. I see you have a Bulkhead in your home as well.

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Okay, okay. I saw you calling that person’s snake a stick. This is a unit that wants nothing more than my demise.

This is Megatron. Is he a stick?

Why do you humans insist on keeping dangerous things?? That thing would eat you happily if you were smaller, you know! And it sounds like it’s trying to despite that.

…I see why you chose the name.

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Doctor Ratchet.... I broke my arm again ( ;-;)

Now why would you do that?? I swear you humans forget how squishy you are.

I hope you received proper medical attention and have a swift and full recovery.

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do you throw your wrenches at your teammates (including Optimus) when they do something really really stupid? or is the Wrenchlord just a myth..?

I can neither confirm nor deny these claims.

But never at Optimus.

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Hello ratchet did you know that we humans have a this thing called the Geneva convention, it's basically the rules of war, anything in the Geneva convention is a war crime and forbidden, that says alot about the human race doesn't it

Yes. We had similar rules.

Then I had to come to your planet.

If I have learned one thing in all my years, it’s not about just having the rules, but enforcing them. And keeping yourself held to a standard you want to see in the world. Sadly war is chaotic and even good bots can go down dark roads when desperate enough… I am glad to see that humans are still trying though. And I truly wish the best for you all. Despite your… strange, organic stickiness.

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"Doctor. It is nice to see you.. despite everything that happened. I know the truth now.. sll of it."

"..I regret a lot of things. Including the miniscule amount of time we had together. If things had gone differently, if I had realized everything sooner, tell me.."

"..would you ever have fully and competely accepted me as an ally?"

- Dreadwing

No. But Optimus would have. And I in turn would have to accept it. Perhaps you could have earned my trust over time, or perhaps not. But that is something we will never know now.

Now it is up to you and the choices you make from this point on that will prove if you have learned anything from your past mistakes. Not I.

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"Old Friend. I need some of your wise council. What is on your mind at this current time?"

How the humans on this website know far too much about us.

Also they agree you should recharge more often.

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Hey ratchet have you ever seen a snake before? Because if you haven't then let me introduce you to Slinky, my baby corn snake.

Why is that stick looking at me?

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Ratchet do you like my new pet

I hate this planet..

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Heya, Sunshine

Honestly, is Ratchet so hard to say?!

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Please recharge more often. I know your research is important Ratchet, but you work better with a clear processor. Also, tell Optimus to recharge more often too... That bot scares me with how often he stays up late to "patrol".

Excuse me?? I am a fully functioning bot, I think I can handle my own recharge, thank you very much!

Getting Optimus to recharge however is like asking Cybertron to change orbit. I swear he can be more stubborn than Megatron himself at times.

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Not to cause alarm or anything, but are you aware that Miko has snuck onto the Nemesis again? She was giggling something about Soundwave's room and glitter bombs

MIKO!