Heavy Weapons Guy

TF2 rp blog | "Is nice."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

I am Heavy Weapons Guy...

And this is Heavy's "blog".

Heavy does not mind people asking him questions. English is not very good, shame on me, Heavy is still learning.

Be free to ask Heavy questions. Do not be annoying like little baby Scout. Do not ask to touch Sasha. That is all.

[ask-the-red-heavy]

tell us stories from your youth! did you get along with your peers when you were a child?

"Short answer: No.

Was hard to make friends with other boys my age that time, when Heavy is in school. Some children think little Heavy was too scary and avoided him. Others? Heavy did manage to talk to them for few days, but kept distance from them, as they grouped up on me and said I was too gentle for big boy. They are same children who killed little sparrow in front of me. Shame on them... but same time? Hope they grow out of it.

Most Heavy has talked to is sisters and Mama. I think I know why I got laughed at when I was boy. Still do not care, though."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"Question–.."

*Medic's lower part of his body was gitching.*

"Scheiße..not again.."

"Doktor!?"

The Heavy shoves away whatever he is doing at the moment (likely reading a book or two, the usual) and scrambles to check on the Medic's condition. He blinks a few times, not completly believing what he is seeing at the moment.

"What is this about...?"

He asks in a hushed tone, maybe to not freak his companion out, or because of the fact that he is confused. Or maybe both.

"This is not Wizard man's doing, is it?"

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"Is me and Doktor. Two peas in pod! No one will ever replace Doktor."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ix4ho4qSKcI&pp=ygUWSGVhdnkgaXMgZGVhZCBwcmlnaW5hbA%3D%3D

"Heavy is not dead! What stupid video."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

It's 2 in the morning where I'm at rn, how are ya heavy?

"Am good but... please go to sleep."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

[[TW: body horror?..]]

"Hallo Heavy! Look vhat I can do! :]"

*Medic snapped neck 360° but..somehow..snapped it back place..?*

"Fascinating, Ja? :]"

At this point, all he could do is widen his eyes and grimace a bit. After all, the Heavy is used to the little weird gimmicks his closest companion makes.

"Oh my god..."

He slowly approaches the Doctor. He raises one of his hands, wanting to help his companion fix his neck, but the giant is afraid that it will make it hurt more.

"Yes... but is Doktor okay? Did enemy Soldier break your neck? Does Doktor need Heavy's help relocating it before our Soldier threatens to do so? Doktor really should be more careful."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

heavy... ARE YOU PREGNANT?

"NYET! Is not even possible!"

[ask-the-red-heavy]

if you were turned into a catboy would you stay a catboy for the tactical advantages of better hearing and better reflexes or would you not stay a catboy

"...Heavy begs your pardon?"

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Hello. The following is a message from the Teufort Census Bureau.

How would you rate your current employment?

Thank you for your co-operation.

@tf2-data-collection-agency

"Since when did Teufort have this kind of Bureau...? Alright. Heavy will oblige. Salary is satisfactory, and I have great time killing evil men.

Would be nicer if you guys give Heavy more guns. Last time, Pyro got new weapon. This time, better give me weapon to fight against enemy team.

Other than that, is nice."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Apple

"D-DOKTOR!? WHO TURNED YOU INTO APPLE!?"

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Misha mein liebe, do you want to help me make some cookies?

(He holds up a cookbook from 1941) I want to try out this new recipe I found, they're made with ammonia! Isn't that interesting?

- Always yours, Medic.

"Ammonia?"

Misha replied in slight skepticism. Ammonia is no joke. It shouldn't come in contact with skin, let alone being consumed. As long as he trusts his beloved Medic, a part of him would rather study the cookbook instead of actually bake them. However...

"Mmm, sure. Is interesting."

Who wouldn't resist the Doctor's charm?

[el-zorro-rojo]

(he's smilies with slightly mischievous before calming his expression and saying in a matter of fact way.) oh, don't worry, Mein Schatz, the ammonia Cookies are made out of Ammonium carbonate which is safe to eat just a little unusual and it's more common name is Baker's pneumonia it helps the cookies rise!

(after reassuring his partner he asks.) now would you like to make it to me or not? -forever yours, Herbert Ludwig

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"Baker's pneumonia... is funny name! Is it not disease of the lungs?"

He rubs the back of his neck a little.

"Misha is a little confused, but would love to spend time with Doktor and make little cookies."

Doing something domestic with his partner is something he has been looking forward to ever since. (He doesn't like to admit it, but secretly, this big guy is a hopeless romantic.)

[el-zorro-rojo]

(he puts his head in his hands laying out a heavy sigh before saying underneath his breath.) ah Ficken..! I meant to say ammonia not pneumonia.. I swear my brain is all messy sometimes!

(he puts on a straight face as then he straightens his posture and hands Mikhail an apron before putting one on himself and tying a beautiful little bow in the back the tightness of the apron: accentuating his waist. before picking up some Baker's ammonia. After picking it up he asks with a smile.) shall we get started then? -your dearest, Herbert Ludwig

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"Da! Will start baking procedure... after Misha washes his hands."

Smudges of red and black are visible on his palms.

"I... do not think would be nice to have blood and gunpowder on cookies. Unless cookies are for Pyro. Hm. What does Pyro even eat?"

[el-zorro-rojo]

{author's note: I accidentally hit reblog now and had a mini heart attack.} (He chuckles a bit before looking up at his partner and smiling only slightly as he then said.) Even though I do like the taste of your blood, Mischa, I think that would be preferable for the rest of the team. And as for your question about pyro I believe they eat the soles of the Damned or something like that.

(he turns back to look at the kitchen which they walked into only moments before and grabbed a large bowl out of a cabinet as well as a whisk from an Upper drawer, and after he grabbed said items he asked Mikhail.) oh by the way Mishka, could you grab the supplies from the fridge after you wash your hands of course: we need the butter, the eggs, and some of the milk, In Ordnung? And I'll grab the flower and the baking soda and the rest of it. - yours truly, Herbert Ludwig.

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Before the Doctor even mentioned about it, Misha has already begun washing his hands at the sink. Sure, the mercenaries were deemed more unhygienic than the average person, but the Heavy still keeps his good habits taught by his mother. He cleans himself more often, although the stench of sweat still lingers after he showers. After all, the heat in New Mexico is a bit hard for the Siberian big bear to handle.

"Yes, of course," he said whilst drying his hands clean with a nearby small towel, hanging delicately next to the sink. As the loyal man he is, he grabbed the said items the Doctor had cited. He'd still remember the time he resisted the Doctor from his experiments. The thought of it made him smile a bit -- I mean, look how he has become now.

"Does Doktor require vanilla extract as well? Heavy still has tiny bottle stored in shelf."

[el-zorro-rojo]

(Herbert looks over for a second before replying as he the flour and puts it next to the ammonium carbonate that was already on the counter.) Oh, ja, that'd be great, leibe.

(He rummages just through the cabinet and sets a second bowl next to Mikhail to put the wet ingredients into as he starts working on the dry ingredients, after doing so he gently warns Mikhail.) Remember the vanilla extract is stronger than your normal kind, so don't put too much. Oh and I put the recipe underneath a red magnet on the fridge, if you need it, Mishka. -affectionately yours, Herbert Ludwig

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"Da... of course. Misha used to bake for family."

He initiates a bit of small talk while he follows the Doctor's instructions, carrying his own hunk of a body towards the slightly broken white fridge -- the one where the mercenaries usually shove their miscellaneous items inside like a Peking stuffed duck. The usual items including Medic's extra animal organs, Scout's bonk, and Demoman's Scrumpy -- which speaking of the devil, is oozing all the way down to Heavy's feet. He lets out a disgusted grunt and wipes his foot onto a nearby rug, before heading back to the main pantry where his partner is stationed, the recipe in hand.

Scanning the recipe, he holds the tiny brown bottle of vanilla extract on one hand and a measuring spoon on the other, and starts his mensuration... as well as continuing his small talk.

"Now? Maybe I am baking for new family, da, Doktor?"

He smiles warmly. Maybe this is the so-called "love as an ingredient" corny people put into their recipes. The Heavy is no different himself.

[el-zorro-rojo]

Due to the demand from: strangely tumbler's algorithm and @ask-the-red-heavy request I've decided to draw more medic crossdressing so here you go.

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"DOKTOR!?"

The Heavy immediately took the nearest piece of cloth he could find and covered the Medic up, a bashful, yet concerned expression on his face.

"Misha knows Doktor looks breathtaking, and beautiful, but is cold here! Doktor should know better. And... other people can see."

[el-zorro-rojo]

(I should really get rp account. Anyways: Herbert crosses his legs as he sits down on his chair, chuckling a bit as he gets himself comfy before teasingly replying) Oh, Misha when did you become so protective of me?

(after a moment he says reassuringly.) And don't worry I'm fine, it's not too cold and you must remember my friend, after all I am from Germany and it gets quite cold there. And as for the people who can see I don't mind it and I'm not sure why you mind it so much? I'm covered up aren't I? -medic

(also just so everyone's aware my medic and @heimlichs 's heavy are now dating so That's why his heavy is calling my medic breathtaking and hence why he is bashful, as well as protective.)

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"But Doktor..."

Misha frowns, accompanied by the reddening of his cheeks. He sighed afterwards.

"You are right. Misha should not be overprotective like this. Doktor can wear what he wants! Is not fair to you, my fault."

Is he being jealous? Within the midst of his own thoughts, yes. But this poor man is trying to hide it, a hint of shame creeping up his body.

Besides that, he seems to be avoiding eye contact with the Doctor. Perhaps he isn't used to such intimacy yet.

[el-zorro-rojo]

(Yes we're doing another reblog. noticing that his now partner is looking a bit awkward and maybe nervous and somewhat avoiding eye contact with him: Herbert uncrosses his legs and sits up and asks with concern in his voice.) geliebten, what's wrong? And before you say nothing is wrong, I can tell. call it doctors intuition if you will.

(For a moment he goes silent but eventually questions.) do you not like me like this? -medic

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"What? Nyet! Is not that, Doktor! Misha loves seeing you like this... is just..."

He hits his own forehead with his palm, befor sliding his hand down his own face.

"I am being stupid... and selfish thoughts with Herbert."

He had always been a bad liar -- hell, he rarely even lied in his life. We suppose that is why he spills his feelings out quicker than expected.

"Seeing you like this... make Misha want to keep view like this to himself and...

BAH! Stupid me is speaking too much. But Misha swears, is his own fault. Nothing Doktor should worry about."

[el-zorro-rojo]

{author's note: aww, he's so flustered to the point he doesn't know how to communicate his feelings.} (Herbert stares at him for a bit with a little twinkle of love in his eyes before chuckling as he gets up out of his chair and goes over to Mikhail, grabbing his face and kisses his cheek before actually kissing his lips, smiling softly as he did so. After he pulled away he whispered into his partner's ear.) I'm glad, meine liebling. ~

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Oh god, it's happening again.

One can almost hear frantic heartbeats in the room due to their close proximity, but you wouldn't know which one is which. If there is one thing a man could do to make a guy that seemed to be made from steel by the gods above melt like hot metal, it would be this.

Misha knows he had to do something bold in return, so before he could let himself swoon again, he'd grab his partner's waist, and pulls him in again for yet, unsurprisingly, another kiss.

"Pretty angel man deserves another good kiss."

He snickers in response, but everyone knows behind that smug face is someone going absolutely ballistic inside.

[el-zorro-rojo]

{author's/poster's note: it took me a few tries to understand this but I got it eventually, yay! I overcame my dyslexia!} (Herbert's face goes bright red, before he leans into the kiss fully making sure it lingers for as long as he can possibly last before finally breaking away for air, slightly gasping as he pulls away before chuckling, and replying soon thereafter.) Well that's a new nickname? Is that what you're going to call me from now on Mischa? - medic

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"What? Doktor likes nickname?"

He'd snicker, before kissing his partner's cheek once more. Initially, he just came up with the name on the spot and thought that it would be cute -- a silly little sort of tease to get a tad bit more intimate with the doctor. Well, if Herbert doesn't mind it then... he might as well use it more on him.

"But is true. Dress makes Doktor look like pretty angel."

[el-zorro-rojo]

(he softly chuckles a bit as he wraps his arms around his partner's neck. He then leaned in gently kissing his partners neck. Once he stopped he replied calmly with a smile on his face.) "I do, I find it quite sweet. And if you like how I look like this then maybe I'll wear dresses more often, what do you think?"

-medic

[ask-the-red-heavy]

"Doktor can wear whatever he wants. He will always have same charm that Misha loves."

Misha nuzzles against the Doctor's face and smiles, as if he were a giant feline purring against its owner's neck. Herbert would smell like medicine and blood as per usual, but the bigger fella seems to be used to it as of now, liking the familiar scent even, as it reminds him that his beloved Medic is there right beside him.

A thought comes up to Misha's mind, as he pulled away for a while.

"Misha wonders if I could try doing this too. I mean, wearing feminine clothing to match Doktor. Problem is... Misha rarely sees dresses with my size. Finding clothes with size like this is hard already, and is even harder for effeminate clothing. Misha thinks is... unfair for society now to think feminine people cannot be big..."

[el-zorro-rojo]

[author's note I am planning on redrawing this drawing of him because I don't really like it, oh if you're squeamish about blood please proceed with caution 'cause this one has Herbert talking about his clinical vampirism.] (he gently takes his partner's hand into his, before responding assuredly.) well I'm sure Tailor might take you, especially a younger one that needs practice since they don't see your body type that often, and it would be a good experience. And who could pass up a great little bit of experience? I mean, I sure didn't when I first met you.

(he smiles fondly, his face growing more red as he thinks back upon that day, saying underneath his breath while he thinks about it more.) I loved hearing your breathing so erratic, and the scent of your blood, was quite tasty. And that's how I found out I liked bigger man.

(he goes back to his normal volume of speech before saying.) well either way I wish you luck, mein liebling. -medic

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Mikhail, a bit stunned by his partner's sudden change in tone and topic, widens his eyes in return. The way the Medic illustrated him makes it hard not to make his own cheeks flush. It is a rather strange way of complimenting someone, sure, but this is the Doctor we are talking about -- Mikhail's Doctor. Of course, a little bit of brutality and gruesomeness would be expected from him... and the fact that Misha likes the "compliments" makes one question this brute of a man's tastes in other men. But I mean, who can even blame him when said stupidly charming man is standing right in front of him in alluring clothing?

The Heavy's lowered guard reemerges once again as the Medic changes his tone. The brute scratches the back of his neck.

"...Da, will do so. Maybe during free time."

Here goes his answer, followed by a half-smile, and a bit of an awkward silence.

But he knows he can't completely ignore what his partner has said a few mere seconds ago.

"Doctor... likes my... blood?"

He mutters, not even knowing if the Doctor himself can hear him ask that question.

[ask-the-red-heavy]

i wanna ask! how did it feel like when ur first sister was born? it must be a bit confusing as a young boy i presume, did you get jealous when your parents started shifting a bit of their attention to her?

"Oh, noooo! Having Zhanna born into world? Heavy feels as if angel come down from heavens, and give family blessings! Is only natural when Mama give her more attention. She was tiny baby then, she could not help it! Heavy only did his best as little boy to be independent, and help baby sisters. Is nice."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Hi heavy how are ya? :3

Here *gig 🥪* :)

Considering the fact that the Heavy does not know you, he is a bit skeptical.

"Is good day for Heavy, but please keep Sandvich. I am not hungry at moment."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

I dunno much about brainrot but all I know that it rots your brain with some random bs from the internet

Hold on lemme look at Google

..

"Brain rot refers to mindless digital content, the fixation on it, and the mental fog or reduced attention span caused by excessive internet use."

Is what google said

"Eugh. Heavy thinks is terrifying. I do not know much about tech, nor children's biology. Maybe ask Doktor or Engineer for that and will have more answers. But Heavy is certain, things like this? Is not good for tiny baby's growth."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE THOSE 6 7-ING ANONS WRITE A 670 WORD ESSAY ON THE EFFECTS OF BRAINROT ON THE YOUTH.

"'Brainrot'? Is new word to Heavy. What does it mean?"