Heavy Weapons Guy

TF2 rp blog | "Is nice."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

I am Heavy Weapons Guy...

And this is Heavy's "blog".

Heavy does not mind people asking him questions. English is not very good, shame on me, Heavy is still learning.

Be free to ask Heavy questions. Do not be annoying like little baby Scout. Do not ask to touch Sasha. That is all.

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Dude! Get your dumb ass gun outta my seat! Put that thing in the luggage bay!

"Apologize to Sasha now. What? She is not luggage item! She is Heavy's baby, and is offended by your cruel words.

Sasha is crying now. How dare you."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Hi uhm I got bad news....for you...... ok

Soldier is fucking dead and zombied. The respawn fucking fell in love with him????????how? Dont know. Ask engineer or admins idk

"What!?

Out of all men in team, Heavy did not expect Soldier to be converted that easily. Will investigate with team as soon as possible."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

How did you learn English?

"Believe it or not, Heavy knew little to no English when first joining team. I only relied on books and listening to Americans' voices, and practiced in tiny room I rented before.

Teammates really helped Heavy improve English. Especially Demoman. I still cannot fully understand what he is saying at times, but I admire his... what is word? Complicated vocabulary. Heavy can really learn from that."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

i think @red-lubin accidentally scratched sasha with his bonesaw in his medbay

"WHAT!?"

"First you impersonate Doktor. Now, you injured Sasha!"

He clenches his fists.

"You better run."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

(( @its-eternity-in-here ))

Howdy again big guy! Say, so you think ya can fix the camera in Medics operation room? One of the birds went on it and messed up tha' angle, and now I cant getta clear image of the room. Think you could fix it next time yer in there? Thanks!

🧰⃢🥃

"Da. Heavy can help.

But... why does Engineer need image of room? Also, I thought cameras are only accessed by Miss Pauling and announcer woman..."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Boo! You're now stuck in the backrooms for three asks because you're my favorite, and you're in the pool rooms, one of the safe levels!!

"What!?"

[ask-the-red-heavy]

I found this random ass cat. Its black, skinny, a lil bit of fluff on its chest, long legs that it can extend(?), and big ol white eyes. It speaks in a british accent and is drinking all my anti-septic. What should I do with it? Ig its nice to have around, but it stares at me through the window, said window is pretty high on the wall

"Heavy personally loves cats.

But this one... British accent? Antiseptic...? Are you sure is real cat or is wizard man pulling prank on you?"

[ask-the-red-heavy]

*pecks at heavys sandvichz before grabbing it with it's beak and flying off, and lands on a slightly far away bench, and pecks at it*

"Chirp."

( @archimede-the-bird )

"Gah!"

The Heavy was startled to see the bird, and slightly agitated when he sees his precious Sandvich being stolen from him.

"That was freshly made..."

He frowned, and slowly approached the dove.

"Come here little birdie... You cannot finish big Sandvich like that. Share with Big Brother Misha, da?"

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Hey, please be careful next time. You and the others left a mess and I could barely clean it on time before the authorities arrived.

@janitorial-unit

"Redmond hired new janitor? Hmm...

You expect giant man to kill like fragile spy? Heavy and team prefers bloodshed. Is satisfying to see evil men's blood painted over walls and hear them cry for their mama before being gunned down by us.

But you are right. Maybe. Miss Pauling said same thing before. Will try to break enemy spine on shiny floor that is easy to clean rather than carpet."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Heavy do you like my bullet?

"Ahh, is big bullet! A bit bent and bruised on sides though, but is very nice. Heavy likes bullet."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Misha mein liebe, do you want to help me make some cookies?

(He holds up a cookbook from 1941) I want to try out this new recipe I found, they're made with ammonia! Isn't that interesting?

- Always yours, Medic.

"Ammonia?"

Misha replied in slight skepticism. Ammonia is no joke. It shouldn't come in contact with skin, let alone being consumed. As long as he trusts his beloved Medic, a part of him would rather study the cookbook instead of actually bake them. However...

"Mmm, sure. Is interesting."

Who wouldn't resist the Doctor's charm?

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Do you wonder if there are other teams besides RED and BLU?

"From Heavy's knowledge, no. I think Doktor has asked Miss Pauling about this a few years back, if memory is still clear. She denied it.

Would not complain if that is case though. More evil tiny baby men to kill, and add to Heavy's body count.

Good stuff."

[tf2stillalive]

11 years ago, I made this heavyxmedic gif. File got lost, blog got obscured, the gay mercenaries are still in my heart.

So I tried my best to remake the animation from scratch and give a better resolution file for you all!

Happy pride month!

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Heavy you have a russian literary degree and like reading, whats your favorite book?

"Heavy has received ask like this before, but is fine! I like talking about books.

Heavy likes a wide range of books, but particularly and maybe... surprisingly, I like stories that are tragic. Occassionally, Heavy reads good romance, and of course, books that reflect problems in society. Like Yevgeny Zamyatin.

But personally, my favourite "book" is not any of these, nyet. Is first book, written by me and my sisters in our childhood. Heavy cringes at old writing, but... is good memories."

He seems to tear up a bit with a smile.

[ask-the-red-heavy]

did you ever find out who touched sasha?

"Yes. Is Scout. Gave him lesson with big fists day after."

[ask-the-red-heavy]

Hi Heavy I was wondering since June is Pride month and Men’s mental health month it’s also Juneteenth month which is the freedom of Black Americans in 1865. What are your thoughts on it and Black Americans?

"Yes. Heavy knows about this, from other sources. It is beautiful how people can come together and unite, and fight against prejudice and hate, whether or not is for sexuality, for own race, or for health.

Heavy may have missed it, but happy belated June 19th! And once again, happy pride. Is nice."