Ask A Millennial

Life through the eyes of a twenty-something millennial -- askamillennial.net

[askamillennial-blog]

MILLENNIAL FAMILIES

The millennial generation has set sights on a new set of goals + priorities than those of the Baby Boomers and generation X that preceded us.  This thought resonated with me after a recent visit home to Minneapolis.  I was fortunate enough to visit my great-grandmother in her nursing home and visit with her for a while.  I love her dearly but I've been puzzled about the questions she asked me ever since I left -- Despite the fact that I'm a recent college grad and excited about starting my career, all she wanted to know was whether or not I'm seeing anyone.  When I told her that no, I am not seeing anyone, she looked at me with this pitiful expression as though to say, "Oh. How sad for you." -- Of course, I love my Nana dearly + I know she just wants me to be happy, and that's when it hit me:  Different generations have different parameters for happiness + different priorities, especially when it comes to family.

This change in family dynamic starts with a shift what we perceive to be socially acceptable.  We, as a culture, are changing what is perceived to be a "normal family" -- You know what I'm talking about here: Mom + Dad, Brother + Sister, golden retriever + a white picket fence in the burbs.  WAKE UP - it's 2015 - we have a woman running for president (Go Hilary), to replace an African American President (Go Obama) - We as a country, have literally changed what has perceived to be normal since the formation of of the US in 1776 (hey, it only took us 43 white men to get there, right?).  It only makes sense that other stereotypes + ideas of social normalcy would be broken along the way.

Millennial couples + individuals have adopted a completely new mindset with regard to family.  Modern couples are waiting longer than ever to get married and have kids.  In 1950, the average marriage age was 22.8 for males + 20.3 for females.  In 2010 the average marriage age was 28.2 for males + 26.1 for females.  Millennial individuals are prioritizing their careers and choosing to wait to settle down.

 Millennials are also choosing to have less kids + waiting longer to have them.  From 1970 to 2013, the percentage of households composed of a married couple with kids fell from 40% to 20%, and the average number of children per household fell proportionally.  Millennials are smart: we know that kids are time consuming and, more importantly: expensive.  Millennials are waiting longer to get married + have kids until they are in a stable place in life with a steady career in order to support the estimated $250K it costs to raise a child today.  With advances in modern medicine, women are able to have children well into their 40's, thus increasing their child-bearing years - so what's the rush?  Millennials are also more commonly choosing to forgo children altogether.  A common term coined for couples choosing to go this route is a "DINK" - Dual Income No Kids.  Hey, two incomes and no expensive kids hanging around?  Sounds like travel + leisure heaven...  Turns out - us millennials are pretty smart.

So, will we ever be able to bake a pie like Nana?  Probably not - but we have shifted family dynamic to something more modern + practical that suites our modernized lifestyle.  Young couples are no longer taking over the family farm.  We are more commonly living in urban areas, working full-time jobs, and if we do choose to have kids, we are making sure that they fit into our chosen lifestyle and making an educated decision at that point. 

Are us millennials onto something here?  Share your thoughts.

XX - Ariel

[askamillennial-blog]

WHAT IS A MILLENNIAL

Urban Dictionary defines a "Millennial" as the following:

<< Born between 1982 and 1994 this generation is something special, cause Mom and Dad and their 5th grade teacher Mrs. Winotsky told them so. Plus they have a whole shelf of participation trophies sitting at home so it has to be true. They believe themselves to be highly intelligent, the teachers and lecturers constantly gave them "A"'s in order to keep Mom and Dad from complaining to the Dean. Unfortunately, nobody explained to them the difference between and education and grade inflation so they tend to demonstrate poor spelling and even poorer grammar. At work, millennials believe themselves to be overachievers who just aren't understood by their loser bosses. Even Mom said so when she showed up for the interview. They are the only generation in the universe to understand the concept of work life balance and to actually want to find a fulfilling career. All those Gen X losers just don't get it what with hoping to keep their jobs and pay the bills but they are just corporate drone so who cares what they think? They should be smart like Millennials and get Mom and Dad to pay for that stuff until they can work out what they want to do with their lives and then get rich doing it. >>

So what does this mean for us?  Are we all privileged + success-driven, but lazy all at the same time??  We grew up playing soccer, taking advanced placement classes, and stressing over college entrance exams, only to spend our first years in the work force obsessing over Orange Is The New Black and perfecting our green smoothie recipes.  Maybe it is because we were told we we're special, and maybe I'm biased [because well, I'm a millennial] but I think being a part of Generation Y is pretty rad - so why not share it?

Enjoy.

XX - Ariel

[askamillennial-blog]

Tinder - the new normal?

We've all been curious about the mysterious red flame app.  What really is it though?  Is it a casual hook-up app?  Is it like a dive bar in the sense that we partake ironically, but secretly we love it?  Or worse, Is this how our generation is actually meeting people?

Don't try to deny it - you've hopped on, thinking you just want to see what its all about.  3 hours + a dead phone battery later, you've swiped left what seems like a million times, right a few, getting a chill when the "ITS A MATCH!" pops-up.  Before you know, you're laughing about some pathetically awkward pickup line that somehow works and chatting about what you're both currently watching on Netflix [hello, OITNB, duh!].  The whole practice is vaguely reminiscent of AIM-ing [millennial check - you had best know what that means] you're middle-school crush during your hour of online-time before bed.  OK - maybe its a bit more grown up than that - but not by much.

Even the creepy matching + chatting part of Tinder can be overlooked if it weren't for this one key flaw:  While you're Tindering away and swiping up a storm, you're judging people on 6 photos or less, a cheesy brief caption about how they just want to meet a nice girl/guy, and the mutual friends you have on Facebook.  What does this really translate to?  We're judging essentially on the basis of physical appearance + social circle.  

So are there really Tinderellas of the world out there?  Tinder-tastic tales?  Will Tinder become our new normal way of meeting people?  Couples still lie to their friends about how they met if they met on Match.com or Eharmony.  10 years from now, when we're planning our happily Tinder-afters, will we be making up meet-cute stories to tell our friends?  Or, will it be perfectly acceptable to announce at your engagement party that you met on Tinder - "We both swiped right, and we were right!"

  Tinder has become so mainstream in the last few months, and so much more acceptable.  Even a few celebs have been exploring the Tinder-machine.  Hillary Duff + Brittney Spears are just a couple of examples, Duff even admitted to going on a Tinder-coffee-date.  Wonder if anyone ever swiped left on queen B?

  So where do we go from here?  Is Tinder here to stay?  Is this a new form of dating for our technology-obsessed, impatient, and image-obsessed culture?  Is it necessarily a bad thing?  

Lets hear from you - Share your Tinder-tales: whether they be awkward first-date stories, your night-in with a 29 year-old that lives with his mother, or maybe your very own happily tinder-after?

XX Ariel