kazama: expert in love & domestic relationships

Are you in love? Do you often find yourself struggling to utter the words that would make him or her yours? Do you need advice? Search no further, for the answers you seek lie within me. So, what do you want to know? [ OOC. Hi! Some things to consider before proceeding: This is a Kazama Chikage of Hakuouki ask blog, and it's meant to be a parody. This is extremely tentative, and I can't say I'm very, uh, great with Kazama, but I want to at least give it a try. I don't claim to be IC at all, but I will try to answer in a way that makes sense for Kazama's character. You can ask him anything or send him things to react to! I will be playing him based on the Live Dramas as opposed to the regular gameverse, so he's more inclined to humor. Oh, and don't mind the urban background... I'm planning on getting dividers soon, haha! Enjoy! ]

[askkazama]

hope you had a very kazama valentine.

[godship]

DASHING THROUGH THE NIGHT

WITH A ONE-TRACK MIND FOR BABES

ALL THE PEASANTS CROSSED

SLASHING ALL THE WAY

THOSE BITCHES HINDERING

TRYING TO COCKBLOCK ME

HOW FUN IT IS TO KILL HER FRIENDS TIL SHE SUCCUMBS TO ME

[askkazama]

happy kwanzama

[askkazama]

A fearsome samurai... huh. Depending on how patient you are, there are two ways to approach this... hahaha.

If I'm impatient, I would kill everyone he cares for so that I am the only one left for him. 

However, if I find myself with all the time in the world, I can just simply wait until all of his friends and family die. 

( He's currently waiting for Chizuru to come to him.... )

[askkazama]

I am not prepared. The peasants have yet to send me the uniform.

[askkazama]

While I can appreciate that you understood the requirements for my courtship, I'm left wondering why you think I'm at all interested in helping you court a Shinsengumi.

Luckily for you, I keep my promises, so I will assist you just this once.

That being said, have you ever considered once that you may be over-complicating the matter? You are trying to seduce the Shinsengumi, not me. Watch closely.

Fetch.

Simple as that.

[askkazama]

IM DYING THIS BLOG IS FANTASTIC YOUR GIFS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOUR COSPLAY AND THE FIRST ASK GDI KEEP UP THE LOVELY WORK (and your cosplay is really pretty omg you even did his eyes!)

[ AAA thank you so much, you are too kind to me!! I kind of made it on a whim after fixing his wig for an upcoming con, but I’m glad it’s serving its purpose to entertain. 

Please feel free to send in more questions; I’ll get to more of them later tonight!! ]

[askkazama]

Hah. You asked the right Oni.

STEP ONE: The moment you discover that you may have romantic feelings for her, confront her. 

STEP TWO: Gently hold her chin and say these exact words: "You and I are destined to be together. Marry me."

Kiss her.

STEP THREE: If she, for whatever reason, a.) rejects you or b.) runs away without giving you an answer, sweep her off her feet.

She's now yours. 

( Don't actually try this at home. Kazama's method are the worst!!!!! He's a bad, bad man!!!! )

[askkazama]

Finally, a question worth answering. My relationship with my bride is more fitting between the two of us, but since you asked so nicely...

The most important thing about her is that she is a pure-blooded demon like myself, but of course, that isn't necessarily my favorite thing about her. Although a bit obtuse at times, she's admittedly... versatile, for a woman. I imagine she'll be a good mother to our children... 

[askkazama]

What? No. If you value your petty existence, I'd refrain from asking such stupid questions. The last thing we need is for idiots like you to inspire more ludicrous ideas upon others.

.... 

( The question would bother Kazama for the rest of his existence. )

[askkazama]

ASK KAZAMA FOR ADVICE ON LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, AND HOW TO DOMESTICATE DEMONS AND HUMANS ALIKE

So, you've stumbled upon my domain. If you've found yourself here, there must be something in your mind that is beyond your comprehension. Such is the extend of human thinking.

Well? Spit it out. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to get my expert advice.

[ ooc. Hi! This is extremely tentative, and I can't say I'm very, uh, cultured with Kazama, but I want to at least give it a try. You can ask him anything or send him things to react to! I will be playing him based on the Live Dramas as opposed to the regular gameverse, so he's more inclined to humor. Oh, and don't mind the urban background... I'm planning on getting dividers soon, haha! This is for entertainment purposes only, so I hope it serves its purpose. Enjoy! ]