Meet the Crew!
Moniker - "The original guy!"
Moniker is my sona/self-insert. Here in his purest form, a purple wallaby with a golden zippermouth. An incomprehensible host trapped in a soft, cuddly-looking vessel. Lax and conversational, always willing to chat, but shuts down quickly in social situations that become overwhelming. Will 100% get carried away in rants about things- or people- he cares a lot about.
Snoot's Headverse Pizza Bros: The Closest Thing to Canon You're Gonna Get
Peppino Spaghetti - "I just-a want to live in-a peace..." Perpetually sweaty anxiety-riddled fat Italian war veteran. Loves to cook and is damn good at it, too. Comparable to a pendulum rapidly swinging between "scared baby seal" and "Navy SEAL team".
Feppino - "Nothing compares!" Gooey clone monster-thing that vaguely resembles Peppino. Doesn't really know what he's doing half the time and barely speaks a lick of intelligible English, but he's a wonderful friend. If he focuses really hard he might be able to respond coherently.
The Noise (Theodore Noise) - "Woag" Insufferable fruity fuck with a split personality. When he's not wearing that ridiculous mask or the equally as ridiculous hoodie with the "ears" attached to the hood, he lounges around in a tank top and sweats. Actually kind of chill when he's not in his Noise persona, but still likes to horse around. Hypercompetitive at video games regardless of who you're dealing with. You can ask Theodore, Noise, or The Noise anything! (ref below.)
Noisette (Hazel Noise) - "I made brownies!" Cute and a little naïve, but a loving companion nonetheless. Loves to talk about baking and hang out with the guys. You wouldn't assume it from her misleadingly harmless appearance, but she can absolutely tear a grown man to shreds.
The Doise (Diego Doise) - "I do NOT have a problem." Obsessed with The Noise. Can't decide if he wants to BE Theodore or be WITH Theodore. Jealous & possessive. Outside of his (very unhealthy) attachment to Theodore, he's an outgoing guy and fun to be around. Your average queer Latino; could appear convincingly normal to the unsuspecting stranger. Just don't mention Noise unless you want to open that Pandora's box. Does, in fact, have a problem.
Mafia Tower - The Spicy Meatballs in your Spaghetti
Moniker Epithet - "I'm the other guy, but cooler." Like the OG Moniker, but with a fleshed out backstory and a place in the Mafia. Peppino's consigliere. (And nothing more, so don't ask.) Hair is always slicked back, appearance kept neat and tidy to conceal the cavalcade of inner demons writhing just under the surface. You know plenty about him by now.
Peppino Spaggiari - "I protect my family... a tutti i costi." The Don of the Spaggiari crime family. Owns Peppino Pizza as a front for laundering money. (Essentially Evil Peppino design-wise, but a little less on the "serial killer insane charmer" side and more "kills out of absolute necessity for the good of the family".)
Bruno Spagiarri (Fake Peppino) - "(garbled Italian)" Lanky clone-son of Peppino. One of the boss' best soldiers and excellent at retrieving physical things & information. Originally hired to... dispose... of bodies. Uses his unstable form to scare captors; in charge of a vast majority of mock executions this way.
Teodoro "Tito" Noiseter - "Boss'll hear about this one." Good-natured underboss. Former NTV host. Buys the drinks for everyone, partly for the humour in seeing other people get shitfaced and make decisions they won't remember in the morning. Generally an okay guy, but kind of sleazy. It comes with the territory.
Valencia "Vivi" Noiseter - "I'm NOT cleaning up any more blood!" Teodoro's loving wife and co-conspirator. Has helped cover for Teodoro on more than one occasion. Keeps an excess of bail money stashed away in preparation for her husband's occasional slip-ups.
Gustavo LaRusso - "Dynamite comes in small packages." Might be the shortest, but DEFINITELY not the smallest. Always comes packing heat, but keeps a game face on at all times. Disturbingly calm & collected for someone of his profession, even when clearly pissed off. Peppino's closest confidant since they were high-school age, he helped Peppino START the whole business.
