Ask Penn the Reporter

I work for the Lucky Clover Gazette!

[askpennthereporter]

Well looky here! I hope this place has space for the ace reporter of the Lucky Clover Gazette. Oh right. I'm Penn by the way.

I've been reading a lot of newspaper articles about this place, so naturally I flew here as fast as I could, to report the latest scoops that I could find!

I'm writing an article about all sorts of things that happen here, so any folk out there, be sure to send me all the interesting details!

Until then. Soar Long!

[askpennthereporter]

Crazy time traveling nonsense powers activate.

@ask-mysteriousconstruct-calamo @askthesageofwindraphica @askvencetheritoswordsman

Have all been randomly summoned right in front of you Penn. I'll let you deal with this however you please. Have fun!

Umm... okay, so I think I speak for us all, when I say this was a very unexpected turn of events that happened very suddenly.

I have no idea how, or why something like this has happened, but I suppose the best we can do is just acknowledge this is the reality now.

Fortunately I've gotten used to these kinds of random unnatural phenomenons, so I say we should skip the freak outs, and just move on to the talking!

So, how's everyone feeling right now, and how should we proceed?

[askpennthereporter]

That knucklehead forgot to give you ice-cream with that spoon *hands over a pint of icecream*

This ice cream has definitely been tampered with hasn't it?

Although I can probably use this to put a random monster asleep. Or not, depending on if this ice cream has indeed been tampered with.

Still though not worth the risk. I need to find an expert to test this.

[askpennthereporter]

PENN!!! PENN!!!! KAJIU RITO!!!! THERE IS A GIANT RITO I REPEAT THERE IS A GIANT RITO WE NEED EYES ON THIS STAT.

The Rito that you speak of has already returned to his original size. Quite a while ago actually.

Although I should mention before he was back to normal, he left quite the memorable surprise in a Yiga hideout.

I believe he's trying to look after a Hylian baby right now. Big emphasis on the word trying.

[askpennthereporter]

IF SOMEONE GIVES YOU A SPOON, GIVE IT TO ME, WILL REWARD YOU HANDSOMELY

Well this is the most obvious trap if I ever saw one.

Aren't the Yiga clan supposed to be master of disguises? Or is it that only a couple Yiga are good at disguises?

Either way I better get my bananas ready.

[askpennthereporter]

Its pride month, you know what that means!

It means that a bunch of people can fully express themselves fully uninhabited, followed by lots of sparkles and bright colours!

That is correct right? Or is it really bright colours, and an enormous amount of sparkles?

[askpennthereporter]

Happy pride month!!

Same to you pal! Have a good one!

[askpennthereporter]

Lucky Clover Gazette Newspaper Issue 58

Here's the latest edition of the Lucky Clover Gazette's newspaper, covering the latest story!

Soar Long!

[askpennthereporter]

Lucky Clover Gazette Newspaper Issue 57

Here's the latest edition of the Lucky Clover Gazette's newspaper, covering the latest story!

Soar Long!

[askpennthereporter]

Hold on to this spoon.

What's this now? Are you giving this to me cause you expect me to feed and look after Link?

Sorry pal, I'm not the best person for that job!

Perhaps you should give it to Saki, or that very mysterious suspiciously handsome Rito I've been told about, who according to rumours is very experienced in seemingly a lot of stuff.

In fact I have reports saying they helped look after a Rito that got turned into a fledgling.

[askpennthereporter]

Lucky Clover Gazette Newspaper Issue 56

Here's the latest edition of the Lucky Clover Gazette's newspaper, covering the latest story!

Soar Long!

[askpennthereporter]

There's also two Revali's now, Penn!!!!! Revali met himself from another timeline!

Wait there's two Revali's? I could've sworn there was three.

There's the one rumoured to be in Rito Village, who I just can't seem to find no matter how hard I look. This new one your mentioning to me from a different time, and then there's that really dedicated Rito fan I've met who claims he's the Rito Champion trying to make a name for himself.

Either way, I totally believe you! It just so happens I have experience with time travelling stuff to. Did another time portal open up somewhere?

Regardless I'll be sure to report this to Hyrule ASAP!

Soar Long!

[askpennthereporter]

Lucky Clover Gazette Newspaper Issue 55

Here's the latest edition of the Lucky Clover Gazette's newspaper, covering the latest story!

Soar Long!

( Art credit of baby Link goes to @asktheritochampion )

[askpennthereporter]

Hey Penn, you won't believe this!

I never thought I’d be the kind of person to see something like that out in the wilds of Hyrule, but I swear on my mother’s cucco coop, it happened just beyond the Faron road bend.

I was gathering herbs near a broken stone arch when I noticed her first—someone I didn’t recognize. She looked like a traveler at a glance, cloak drawn up, moving carefully like she didn’t want to be seen. Not Hylian guard, not a merchant either. Just… off. Quiet in a way that made the woods feel quieter.

Then the air changed.

Three shapes dropped from above like they fell out of the trees themselves. I’d heard of them before—whispers in stables and warnings painted in the tone of “don’t go there alone.” The Yiga Clan.

They didn’t speak at first. Just moved.

One of them lunged, and that’s when the traveler reacted.

She wasn’t ready—anyone could see that much. She’d been caught mid-step, like she was thinking about something else entirely. The strike should’ve landed clean.

It didn’t.

She twisted just enough for it to miss her center, the blow scraping past instead of hitting true. For a half-second she staggered—just a breath of hesitation—and I thought, that’s it, she’s done for.

But then she changed.

It’s hard to explain properly. She didn’t just fight back—she recalculated. Like whatever shock hit her got pushed aside and replaced with something colder and sharper. Her movements stopped being defensive and became… precise.

The second attacker came in low. She stepped on a stone, used the angle, and redirected him straight into the first. No wasted motion. No panic.

The third one tried to circle behind her. I remember thinking of warning her, but before I could even draw breath, she already knew. She didn’t turn fully—just shifted her weight and struck outward without looking. He went down hard into the grass.

That’s when the others hesitated.

Bad mistake.

She moved through that opening like she’d done it a hundred times before, disarming one and forcing the other back into the brush. No blood, no theatrics—just control. The kind you only see when someone is fighting because they have to, not because they want to.

And just as quickly as it started, it was over.

The Yiga vanished the way they came—too fast, too ashamed to linger.

The traveler stood there for a moment, breathing steady again. Like she was checking herself more than the battlefield. Then she adjusted her cloak like nothing had happened and kept walking.

I didn’t follow.

Didn’t dare.

I still don’t know who she was. Some kind of mercenary, maybe. A wanderer with too much skill and not enough patience for ambushes.

*Blink blink*

Wow... that's quite the lengthy and descriptive story pal.

You doing okay over there? Need to catch your breath? Do you need a seat? Want me to get you some water?

[askpennthereporter]

Welcome back, Penn.

Just in time too. Some swordsman guy named Link got turned into baby.

Goodness me what in the world is happening across Hyrule?! I've only just come back, and already such crazy things have happened.

First the Rito fan trying to be like the Rito Champion becomes a fledgling, the he becomes really big, then Urbosa becomes a child, and her bodyguard becomes a Goron, and now the Hero link has been turned into a baby now?

Things sure have taken a crazy unexpected turn!

Well I better get to reporting this right away, cause this is huge! Hope the kid gets the care he needs.

Soar long!

[askpennthereporter]

Lucky Clover Gazette Newspaper Issue 54

Here's the latest edition of the Lucky Clover Gazette's newspaper, covering the latest story!

Soar Long!

( The Rito in question is of course Kain, who belongs to @axidentshappen )

[askpennthereporter]

Lucky Clover Gazette Newspaper Issue 53

Here's the latest edition of the Lucky Clover Gazette's newspaper, covering the latest story!

Soar Long!

( The Rito in question is Kain, who belongs to @axidentshappen )