Ask Scorpius Malfoy!

    Hello! I'm Scorpius, and I'm rather new to this inter-net thing. If my dad finds out I have a 'blog', he'll be furious, so naturally I intend to keep it frequently updated. Check the desktop site for semi-regular updates to the extra pages.

[askscorpius]

Hey, guys, Scorps here. Sorry we haven’t spoken in a while. Things have been rather hectic at uni, but I thought I’d come on here briefly to say something.

Thought I’d take a minute just to say that black lives, transgender lives, muslim lives and the lives of all those who are forced to face systemic adversity have mattered, still matter and will always matter immensely. Regardless of what someone’s wealthy contrarian aunt has to say about it.

[askscorpius]

A Message from Mrs. Potter

In light of recent events, such as my son losing half his lovely head of hair, I have confiscated both Scorpius’ and Albus’ mobile phones. Until the conflict is resolved, I will hold on to them. You may ask some questions directed at me or Albus’ father, but do please keep them PG. 

[askscorpius]

To Albus: Where's your mustache go?

mf LEGITERALLY snatched my wig im SHOOK pls sned help i need my stamps so i can send letters 2 my taiwanese penpal 😩this boi is str8 up RUINING my life rn i dont even remember wtf hes so pressed abt lmao wild

[askscorpius]

Oh my goodness, I had no idea it was *that* bad! I’m so sorry, I… You know what, nevermind, serves you right. I hated that thing, anyway.

– Scorpius (as if I should need to sign off like this, considering it’s MY BLOG!!!)

p.s I suppose you tell Pei Wei all your secrets, don’t you?!?

[askscorpius]

To Albus: Where's your mustache go?

mf LEGITERALLY snatched my wig im SHOOK pls sned help i need my stamps so i can send letters 2 my taiwanese penpal 😩this boi is str8 up RUINING my life rn i dont even remember wtf hes so pressed abt lmao wild

[askscorpius]

I'm literallyl  so tiree..d whhy is scoRppius likk;;e thi why camn he nont eltl anythibgn go im o sor;;ry please jusst .lett me  SLEEP

[askscorpius]

Ask Scorpius turned 2 today! Blast, now I’m hungry...

[askscorpius]

Okay Al you are making me die of curiosity. What are you hiding?

1 reblog = 1 prayer for my mental state 😩🙏🏾

okay but like??? u think i keep a record of all the things i keep in the Potter Vault of Shame ur dead wrong m8 do i LOOk like an accountant to u?? listen im not afraid of a scrap so come @ me blud

as for u scorpion chump im changing ur blog theme 2 hot pink until u come tf out of my room. ur move bitch.

[askscorpius]

Have you gotten over Albus keeping something from you yet?

We literally saved the entire Wizarding World, if that slippery bastard doesn’t think he can share his secrets with me he has another thing coming!!!

[askscorpius]

how are you feeling about school starting very soon?

It’s seventh year!!! My last year!!! And I still don’t know what I’m going to do when I leave school!! Why did I pick Charms for my N.E.W.Ts? What if I don’t pass them? What if I DIE!?!?!? What if I die ALONE?!?!? I haven’t even done anything remarkable, besides saving the wizarding world that one time -- but people do that every year, that’s not noteworthy! I’m going to become a vagabond! A bohemian! No, a bohemian would at least have personality, I don’t even have one of those! I wouldn’t even qualify as a character in RENT! I’m doomed!!!!!!!!

[askscorpius]

How is Lysander??? Has he had a makeover for 6th year too?

hit that mf reblog button 👌😤if u think scorps needs 2 come out tha CLOSET lmaooo ✊🏿fr tho he’s locked in my room wtf bruv 😩dont look at the shoebox in the bottom the cupboard innit lololololol 😏💩😇😈

[askscorpius]

How are you even filming yourself? Is Lily in cahoots with you? I suppose you tell her all your too-good-for-Scorpius secrets, hm?

[askscorpius]

How is Lysander??? Has he had a makeover for 6th year too?

hit that mf reblog button 👌😤if u think scorps needs 2 come out tha CLOSET lmaooo ✊🏿fr tho he’s locked in my room wtf bruv 😩dont look at the shoebox in the bottom the cupboard innit lololololol 😏💩😇😈

[askscorpius]

How's Rose and her gf going??

It’s strange, I’m actually... Happy... for them. I guess it’s just nice to see your friend find someone right for them, even if it isn’t yourself. 

[askscorpius]

Albus what is your secret

Not funny.

[askscorpius]

Hey Scorpie, do you and Albus have any secrets from each other?

[askscorpius]

Being outed on a tumblr post that you didn't even post is the worst isn't it

A message from Albus: sometimes, your friend’s mobile phone gets possessed by dark magic and starts obsessively analysing you and your classmates, and you just sort of have to go with it or else you’re gonna have a bad time. Also, ‘amatory familiarity’ is robot for ‘lol gay’, and you can’t get angry because it’s just a computer program and programs can’t be given detentions.

[askscorpius]

Is Albus still going through his "ironic" phases? How are you putting up with that?

He managed not to cry when Cardboard David Tennant perished in Lily’s rage-induced inferno, but I definitely saw him flinch when he mustered up the courage to tear down his Miku poster (Mrs. Potter said it was too ‘lewd’). 

[askscorpius]

Any new luuuuuurve interests this year?

Well, somebody had to love me, right?