a s p a c e t o s i t w i t h @aspacetositwith - Tumblr Blog

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2 days of bean-watering + filming with Xavier Medina and Maria Amelia Cotarelo. Thank You for this wonderful, thoughtful capture, and for helping me tell my story. Your support and friendship is heartwarming and beautifully encouraging!

67 beans | 4 hours + 2 minutes

I FINISHED! Well, finished hand-stitching beans around the main circle! It's hard to imagine that I won’t have to spend another full day beaning. Hmm... Ever?

some [not very]processed thoughts and questions:

What about this work is so attractive to me? What about this intensive, tedious, presence demanding, time consuming, long-commitment type work calls my name? The beans, just like the TAFONI jacket, and the hand-spun recycled-fabric yarn are slow and responsibly hand-made works. How is it that I always, always, always choose crazy projects that demand my full attention but are actually not very profitable? I mean, I could have chosen to just stitch individual clusters of beans for an hour every day and at the end of the summer create something with them, with whatever I managed to do. But I chose something that made my mind, body, and spirit be invested completely. My body literally hurts. It has experienced this!

What is stopping me from making things happen? So many people are just throwing themselves out there even when what they are making is not 'mind-blowingly' amazing or the best possible quality. If I have such high standards -no not standards, that sounds snobby and that's not how I think-... Is preferences a better word? Anyway, why do I sometimes feel like my contributions won't be important enough; or understood?

Important words today: bija, soma, energy-impregnated

What is the experience?--> What is the reward?

On another subject... I'm a bit worried that the free-motion quilted center cushion will be distracting from the beans.

Interesting how one experiences varied attention focuses: on the stitch size, on the stitching direction, on the bean shape, on the posture my body, on the fabric tension, on the way I hold my needle, on nothing...

Also thinking about the varied making experiences, environments: There have been moments and days of work that seem infinite and un-productive, and you stick with them/the work. I did, I stitched and stitched even if feeling like I would never finish and my wondering/worried thoughts were driving me crazy. But...then there are those blissful moments when all of a sudden you realize HOW much you’ve actually done, and that something is really coming to be. And, I don't just mean how far along the bean circle... but how far along in my meditative practice, in my healing, in my connectedness and understanding. My path is clarifying... coming to be!

I asked/let Dorian stitch one of the last beans. He has witnessed my making journey and been one of my main cheer-leaders, so we thought it would be sweet if he could be part of this in a more tangible way; experience it from the inside. By now (after so much filming, picture taking, and listening to process stories) he knew exactly what to do!

This piece will get folded up in a few days and fly with me back to New York. From Brooklyn (in May/June), to Switzerland (July-October), to Brooklyn (October-November).

cheers to commitment, to coming full circle... cheers to new chapters!

32 beans | 3 hours + 42 minutes

Almost reaching that final line... Thanks to Dorian Iten for the snapshots!

59 beans | 5 hours + 5 minutes An aerial view of my work-day... hyperfast

beaning realtime

beaning = stitching, one bean at a time

51 beans | 4 hours + 27 minutes

Cham, Switzerland. Singing Room another recording + beaning day with Mr. Iten

61 beans | 4 hours + 47 minutes

Today we went out on a beautiful excursion! We walked the 'Forces of Nature Trail (PFAD) on the Hochstuckli. This path had various 'energy sites that provide hikers the opportunity to study/presence the effects of nature's forces. I did some beaning in the morning (pre-hike), but most of the work today was done in the evening... an inspired late-night work-session.

52 beans | 4 hours + 0 minutes Cham, Switzerland:

- I must try/remember to release the tension on my hands + body - being a spectator sitting inside, stitching, processing, while life is going on outside - the artists' fear that without fame there is no money, and without money there is no sustenance - despojo/coming in to myself/cleansing

61 beans | 5 hours + 1 minute Cham, Switzerland. Had two very special visitors today. Here are some work-evoked thoughts:

- meditation enables/gives us the skill for discrimination of truth - visualization as meditation - meditation helps to unify ourselves

- to sit with the problems - when you slow down

63 beans | 5 hours + 59 minutes

Dorian Iten drew me beaning last night; what a treasure! Today I moved back to the studio downstairs.

today's notes:

- to find an AREA - to guide the bean to it - to hold the bean - to surround the bean, pushing it gently, by going up and down with the thread... and encircling it

To have and to hold! These beauties... USA Grown, Organic, Black Beans. Thanks to Dorian Iten for the capture.

60 beans | 5 hours + 33 minutes

Another day of beaning in Marianne's singing room. Today there was a lot of action: filming, bean pouring, and a late-night work hangout with Dorian. I started keeping count of my beans in a different way today. Instead of making marks on the paper, I just took a spare bean and used it as a number holder. They are so beautiful, and definitely a more tangible way to see the work I've done!

from today's notes:

- how is other people's work perceived? - what about ours? - focusing on what's important, steady, secure, holding us - my beans have saved me, they have been an anchor; a home while everything is in motion.

70 beans | 5 hours + 1 minute

Cham; Singing Room. Caught in 'beaning action' by Dorian Iten

from today's doodles:

- beaning conjugation - what is my family story? - bean bib/collar

69 beans | 5 hours + 45 minutes

Passing the 3/4 circle mark (accompanied by the sounds of Taíno music) is almost incredible. When I started this I felt empowered and excited, but I knew that the end of the circle was far, far, away. And now... I am starting the last section. I can see the next line, the one that will complete this cycle. 'Poco a poco se llega a Roma'

just two little notes today, and then off to a lakeside campfire dinner (just a 5 minute bike ride away)!

- I have never been reckless - I've always activated my good qualities

25 beans | 1 hour + 53 minutes

Beaning back in Cham after spending the morning settling back/fluffing up my studio here.

76 beans | 4 hours + 34 minutes

Grateful!

I 'm feeling über inspired with this view, and by being surrounded by the sweet people at Atelier Narasca. Some of my day's notes:

- forgetting the world, and existing in THIS moment - sacred music --> sacred space - guiding/creating an EXPERIENCE - inspiring AWE - feeling magic upon touch - investing all my energy - still considering going to stitch in a VERY public space

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