Friends 1, 2, 3, and 4 thought it was a good idea for me to make a post concerning courtesy names, given names and honorifics for those in the Dynasty Warriors and Three Kingdoms fandoms!
A style name is typically given to a young man at the age of twenty, hence the usual start of the name with Zi. However, these names can vary on meaning and tend to have a very deep connection back to the roots of both the given and ancestral names. They can also be themed within a family, such as the Eight Da.
When you take on a style name, it becomes your public name. However, that does not mean that, like in places like the Western World, you can simply go up to them and call them by their style name. If you do not know them, you refer to them by their family name that they give to you unless otherwise specified by their holder.
Here is an example conversation: This is also used in modern mandarin conversation.
This literally translates to: What is your surname?
Ma Chao: néng. 能. gào. 告. sù. 诉. wǒ. 我. nǐ. 你. de. 的. míng.
Such responses to this might be:
"My Family name is Zhao."
Jiang Wei: Oh! Hello, Lord Zhao.
Given names are first names. Only those on family, sworn family, or close friendships are allowed to know your given name. This especially applies to women. If you are a female, you would be known in this time period as Lady ___
Such as the name Zhenji or Wenji.
Lady Zhen. Lady Wen. “Ji”.
Here is an example of how a conversation might go:
Jiang Wei: Pardon me; Might I have your family name, my Lady?
Guan Yinping: My family name is Guan.
Jiang Wei: Good heavens! Lady Guan, I did not recognize you!
The use of one’s given name in any situation outside of private friendship or family (again private settings) is generally very rude.
Now, how you RP your character is your business, but this has been an educational post concerning given and style names and the appropriate use of Lord and Lady.