Memoirs of a God
Chapter 1 (Extended)- The Beginning
Just some writing from my book! It's from the pov of an ancient god who essentially gets bored decides to play with the lives of four girls. It will take a fantastical turn of events later on as the entity decides to uproot all of the girls entirely and they enter a much more deadly landscape.
Word Count- 7208
There were no cries of labor when I was born, no midwife to hail my arrival. I awoke to the sounds of waves crashing as the world folded in on itself.
I suppose it was a strange sensation to wake up drowning. That sinking pit in one's stomach is accompanied by an unending assault of water. Filling up a set of gasping lungs until their futile struggle ends. That is the most brutal part of drowning; the struggle. All the while the mind writhes, attempting to create its momentum in an already dead body. Like a sailor attempting to expel water from a doomed ship, the lungs heave even after the bow is submerged. I came into this world alone. Just had water had birthed the first civilizations, it had also birthed the first gods.
I would describe that feeling of hopelessness as equal to that experienced by our heroines as the 12th year of education concluded. Although I've never liked the term, it's far too glorifying for the role these girls were to play. Far from champions, these individuals were more like focal points upon which light refracts. Conduits for something greater. Their days were marked by indiscriminate anxiety, like an omen that preceded something both great and terrible.
The sound of breaking glass in itself must seem like an omen. Especially when one is awoken by it, as Juno had been that morning. The dream she had been ripped from had been less than enjoyable, featuring a multitude of puzzling images, as most dreams often do. However, this particular dream was distorted, its greatest violation was the addition of another Juno. While initially the double appeared to be the same, this other Juno was taller, more weathered, and older. A bob of short wispy hair reflected the warm yellow of morning light. But it was not for these qualities that the image grew to be so unnerving. It was the absence of color in the eyes that marked her as something other. Small ripples in her face that twisted the other's features, shifts in opacity coming close to showing something moving underneath. A horrid sight that concluded with a sudden awareness of the airplane they were confined to. Only for the double to open the door, killing them both.
Pulling herself from sleep was much harder than expected. Slapping a blind hand around in the search of a pair of dark tortoiseshell glasses, the reasonably shaken teenager leaped to the window. Had she been more awake and less panicked, she might have realized just how stupid this was. But fortunately for her, it was not a murderous intruder waiting there, but rather a neighborhood kid on a scooter, who--from the looks of it--just ate it on the pavement. For the past couple of days, the neighborhood had held its breath as little Michael whipped around blind spots, narrowly dodging parked cars on a new scooter. However, it appeared that Michael had not dogged her car this time, knocking out the back window entirely. And so started a particularly shitty day.
Her father would take the car to get fixed immediately, leaving her without the dignity of private transportation. Throwing her things into her bag with such a force to alert anyone in the general vicinity of her sour mood, Juno reluctantly messaged a friend. Determined to avoid the horrid fate of riding the bus, its appalling nature highlighted her recently acquired driver’s license, she waited with bated breath, compulsively checking her phone. After a few moments, a text that read “On my way'' appeared on her screen confirming that she did indeed have a ride.
Her savior would come in the form of a sleazy KIA dubbed the Yakuza. Inside blasted obscure Russian music with a bobbing head of shaggy pink hair accompanying the beat. The lovely Yvette Voclain rolled down the window of her Aunt’s car with an excited look on her face. Winged eyeliner jutting out with trained precision from her eyes and heavily decorated hand overtaken by mismatched rings held up a transparent cup of sloshing caffeine.
“I brought drinks!” she shouted with a gleeful smile
“Maybe you should try something with fruit in it,” Juno teased, slipping into the seat beside her.
“Heard anything from Diana yet? I’m getting a little worried for her, ya’ know” Yvette mumbled almost incoherently as she turned her focus to rummaging through her backpack.
Juno shook her head, taking a sip from her friend’s cup. This resulted in an assault of foreign curse words that fell from Yvette's mouth.
“Drink your chai-tea you little shit” Yvette snarled. Juno cackled in response
“Okay, Okay” she giggled swatting Yvette’s shoulder “But I haven’t heard anything. I usually wouldn’t worry too much about Diana, she always had a penchant for disappearing, I’m sure she’ll want to meet up after school once she sorts things out with her family. I mean it’s not like she knew this was gonna happen. Diana can’t even talk about the situation in detail.”
“I know but I just miss her, no one else can put up with my shitty metal music”
“I happen to enjoy your shitty metal music”
“You don’t count, Juno. You listen to classical music for fun, as far as I’m concerned you shouldn’t have rights” Yvette teased
“ I’m a multifaceted individual Yve”
“Whatever you say, nerd”
“That’s rich coming from someone who learns languages for fun”
Diana’s disappearance was much to the disappointment of her friends and myself, who missed the clank of her elaborate outfits that consisted of predominantly black clothing and enough chains to lower an anchor. In her platform boots and piercings, she could be found enjoying raves behind the arcade, a true patron of the arts. But despite this punk culture, she had assimilated into and so proudly demonstrated through wardrobe choices, no shitty local band seemed to distract her entirely. These cyclical disappearances, would betray her usual lively facade and often cause worry in her friends during her sudden leaves of absence. Especially, when this recent absence had such a devastating reason behind it.
The Yakuza smelled of lavender, thanks to Juno’s assault of perfume, and the smell was carried to the art room as the two girls fell into their normal routine. Juno had always loved it here, its warmth was inherent and nearly indescribable. The art room had charcoal drawings hanging from clothespins and the latest of Juno’s landscapes stood triumphantly on a crooked easel. The heavy metal door creaked open as Diana entered, entrenched in conversation with a preppy girl with billowing sleeves and low-rise jeans. Her clothing was consistent with the Pinterest styles that had ravaged thrift stores. Nina had arrived, the two girls had been friends since middle school and despite the clear differences between them, they remained close. Diana’s face was almost regal, boasting high cheekbones and a gracefully sloping nose that was adorned in deep tan skin. It gave her a look of seriousness that was in exact contrast to Nina’s. Nina was, as Yvette affectionately described, an "American Girl Doll brought to life". Her backpack clanked with an assortment of pins displaying the multitude of clubs she was a part of. Nina had a drive and virtue that many admired, but none truly appreciated. Her lunches often ended early, as her duties would require her elsewhere. A duty that seemed to call to her now.
"Oh, hello!" Nina exclaimed, her bubbly tone poisoned by the dreariness of the morning.
A chorus of groggy "sups" and "heys" shot up from the group. Even some outsiders gave greetings. Nina had no difficulty making friends. Her friendly nature was practically smeared across the very structure of her being, those soft eyes and the gentle slope of her face gave her an inviting quality. Her brown skin seemed to exude warmth, as though some distant sun was bursting from within her. The same could not be said for her companions, who hung back and as Nina became entrenched in conversation with a forgettable sophomore, whose clothes were plastered to his body at odd angles from being in the blazing summer heat.
Outside of Nina, the four were practically hermetic, as though intrinsically sealed off from all external influence. Each cultivated their gardens well, but rarely shared the hidden delights of their respective personalities with others. While this may have been expected in imposing figures like Diana, more shadow than a girl, Nina was the best at this. Very few really knew her, but the warmth of what little light she let outward lulled many into a false sense of intimacy. A fact that could be observed by her clear exhaustion and change in composure that followed the sophomore's departure.
"I'm so exhausted, I can’t believe I have to be awake for five more hours" Nina sighed, sliding into a spinning chair with a sun painted on the back.
"Me too, I can't stand the underclassmen. Hey, Juno what's that quote you like? The real pompous one?" Diana grinned, throwing herself over the back of her chair to poke her friend who affectionately swatted at her.
"Mingling with the normal often dilutes the exceptional" Yvette condescended, mimicking Juno. She didn’t bother to look up from a video of some foreign band’s performance, dancing on her screen, shoving a caffeine bar into her mouth.
"It’s not supposed to refer to people, dumbass" defended Juno. "But I guess it could apply, technically speaking. People can be exhausting and few have the complexity I admire. I don't know how you do it, Nina, I can stand to waste my time on niceties. But it's good to finally see you again Diana" Juno smiled lightly, sinking further into her chair, cradling a chai tea latte in her hands.
"I'm just teasing, but it is kind of nice to be back. Mom thought I should see people. I only wish she took her own advice after what happened" Diana said softly.
Diana seemed to droop like a weight was settling on her shoulders as her eyes met the floor. It was as if a door had opened. Nina and Juno exchanged glances, contemplating what to say next. Interestingly, it was Yvette who spoke up.
"Are you? I mean, shit... that’s stupid to ask but, how are you feeling? Or is there--” She stammered. It was difficult and strained. Yvette tried to push what little had been spoken into the threads of a canvas, painting a picture from silence.
Diana looked up, and plucking her head where it rested on the chair, she spoke slowly.
"I don't know, I'm kind of just calm about it, it's fucked up cause he's my dad but… I don't feel much." She inhaled, taking a short wavering breath, "God, my mom though. That's what worries me. She's um ... she's-" The morning bell interrupted, and she stopped until its cries ceased. Diana opened her mouth as if to say something more but instead stood up swiftly.
"See you guys later, I guess" she muttered as she left. The door had closed again.
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The remaining three sat in silence, knowing glances were exchanged before they too left the warmth of the art room. Yvette shoved in earbuds and waved goodbye as Juno and Nina started off to Spanish, beginning to review grammar for the upcoming test on their walk there. Juno’s linen blouse shifted with every exaggerated hand movement that accompanied her frustration. Nina’s cackled at her friend, her practice at home made her practically an expert in the language. The mediocrity of school was broken up with the stress from finals and club competitions. Nina was the most worried about her rankings due to the multitude of clubs she was a part of and the level of importance her mother placed on these results. However, the anxiety of finals was felt by all students. Even the most skeptical of religion like Juno found themselves praying for salvation. Each person had methods they swore by. Nina would carry an amethyst like a cross around her neck and Diana would burn palo santo. Yvette would make a new family in the sims to torture to let off stress, refusing to bath until finals were over for fear it would “wash away her knowledge”. Even Juno would whisper affirmations and write little symbols for good luck, defending it with anecdotes about the placebo effect.
It was always my observation that young girls have this inherent need for the “other”. One that I was ready to satisfy. An inclination not only toward intense curiosity but toward what many once saw as the arcane. The spells they would cast with a handful of dirt, leaves, and acorns. The bonds they would forge in the roots of a shady tree, twisting the very fabric of friendship into wearable jewelry. These quantities seem to be lost to us now, but I assure you they are very much alive. Even as the thrum of city lights block out the stars, the heartbeat of the old world is still there, steady and alive. However, it’s not nearly as idyllic as I remembered it.
Out of the four, the one who was most inclined to believe in this “other” was Juno. Ironic, I know. The pompous skeptic is the one who held the strongest fears about the unseen. Despite the confidence with which she dismissed what was not there, there were some nights she could swear that the air moved the wrong way. That monolithic darkness easily swarmed into a perceivable form. And Juno always had excuses, “I was just tired” she’d say, “It’s just dark” she’d dismiss, “It was just a dream”. But something chipped away at these explanations, and even now she couldn’t tell you why she slept with the covers over her head. Or why she could feel eyes on her even now.
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In the morning it was not Juno startled into consciousness, but Diana. Her body, however, remained still. Sleep paralysis was a normal event most days for Diana, but never a pleasant one. And, it has gotten worse in recent days. Exacerbated by her father’s accident, the stress gravely impacted her condition. The worst part about it was not the grotesque figures that emerged from dark corners, but the feeling of helplessness echoed in their empty forms. Her mind flings itself at the boundary of consciousness only to find itself confined to her body. It was that fear that I found particularly interesting in humans. That dread and anxiety can be attained in even generally harmless places, like one’s own mind. For creatures so confident in their ability to drive their fates, they can’t even manage to feel in control of their psyches. But these contradictions are vital to understanding human nature. The atheist fears the god, the son betrays the father, and the king is killed by the subject. So confident in ideas of free will, of order, that they fail to recognize when greater forces are at play. Even when I sit right in front of them.
Diana’s fingers twitched as her mind underwent the process of once again becoming the master of her body. I peeled myself from the cluster of shadowed forms, standing at the edge of her bed. She looked to where I lingered. The rhythm of her heart was so rapid and loud. It was as if she had seen a ghost. But I assure you, my dear girl, I am no spirit.
I watched silently, inspecting the girl before me. Her dark hair pooled around her like water. Oh! How long had it been since I had last made such a choice? 20? 30 years? I had scoured for far too long, been bored for such a dreadfully long time. And these girls-- our protagonists--were average at best. But was that not the joy of them? None particularly strong, skilled, or smarter than any other that I had chosen before, and yet here I am, putting on my prettiest dresses to catch their attention.
That blatant mediocrity is something all humans share, dear reader. In all of my dealings with man, there are but two things that I have learned. One; that humans are utterly unremarkable and can easily be substituted for one another, and two; that the youth are the most easily manipulated of the bunch. All humans are. But there is something special about youth that breeds both naivety and false expertise. One guiding hand, that one moment of a passing whisper, and suddenly their entire fate is altered. The trick is to give the illusion of free will. And the best way to get what I want is to only appear to be an entity conjured from the archives of a restless mind. You can’t be wary of what you don’t know exists. So I became her. I wore her face before folding in on myself and retreating into the unseen. I was but a mere nightmare with lifeless eyes. I had begun to plant the seeds, and what a wonderful garden it will be.
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Soon after I left her field of vision Diana ripped herself from her sheets and brutishly struggled to remove herself from the room. Basketball and UFC posters danced on her walls. The kitchen was filled with light and warmth, not uncharacteristic of the Richmond household.
“Diana! Danny took my waffle,” cried a little girl in basketball shorts.
Her protests, however, did not seem to lead to a change of heart in Danny, who taunted her with her breakfast.
“Danny quit being a dickhead, give it back” Diana sleepily admonished.
“This is favoritism at its finest, you’d believe a child over your own brother Diana? What has the world come to?” he exclaimed, continuing to tease his little sister
“Yeah quit being a dickhead, Danny!” Taylor mimicked.
“Hey! You know better than to say that” Diana yelled
“Yeah Diana you’re setting a bad example” Danny teased
“Shut it, Danny, this has nothing to do with favoritism you’re just being a dick, and Taylor, I’ll make you a new one and stop fucking cursing. Now both of you shut up ” she sighed. Diana stumbled to the fridge retrieving a bowl of diced fruit and a box of Eggo waffles. Popping the waffle into the toaster, Diana leaned on the counter and began to munch on fruit. She stared down the short corridor that leads down to her mother’s room. Empty, she thought. Her mother had left her here to babysit again, gone to work. It was an attempt to maintain some sense of normalcy. Despite the noise in the home, everyone felt the crushing silence that painted the wall. It only has been a month. The chair at the end of the table was empty. It had even begun to collect dust.
“How was Mom doing this morning guys?” Diana inquired, removing Taylor’s waffle from its place in the toaster.
“She didn’t talk much but she seemed fine” Danny squeaked
“I was thinking we could maybe go out, you know, get some fresh air” suggested the eldest, nudging her little sister with her elbow.
“To where? You can’t even drive yet.” Danny sassed
“I’m just saying that maybe we all need a break. Get out of the house and maybe hang out at the park”
“It’s 100 degrees out Di, I’m not really in the mood to sweat my balls off, if you need me I’ll be in my room. DO NOT let Taylor in there, last time she fucked up my game”
“Danny, what did I say about swearing” Diana sighed in exhaustion, as Danny rolled his eyes, retreating to his room. \tapestries
“You wouldn’t let me play!” Taylor pouted
“Because all you ever do is screw up the game!” he shouted, stomping down the corridor. “And you suck at it!” he bellowed, punctuating it with the slamming of a door.
“Great talk you guys, I really feel like we connected as people” Diana grunted sarcastically.
“Asshole” Taylor muttered at Danny.
“Hey!” Diana exclaimed, flicking her sister
“Sorry,” she grunted, rubbing her arm. “But maybe we should go to the rez, they have lots of dogs there” Taylor offered through a gap-toothed smile.
“You know me so well, Taylor” Diana grinned, squishing her little sister into a hug. “ But, it’s miles away, and like Danny astutely pointed out I can’t drive” she mused.
Taylor squirmed in her arms, dramatically gasping for air as though she was nearly suffocated.
“Well, then I’m gonna go hunt for crickets in the backyard, you can come too if you want Di.” Taylor offered. It was her best attempt to help her sister
“No thanks sis, I don’t wanna be holding scorpion chow ” Diana responded “But I am gonna get some fresh air”. And with that, she glided to the house keys on the counter and headed for the park. It was here where she crawled into a playground slide, dropped her facade, and began to weep.
Emotions are often difficult for humans to handle, the trivialities of life can create waves of depression or ecstasy. But they are necessary. That fear, that sadness, creates an opening for change. And that is the opportunity that I need. And sometimes, you have to create your openings. My dear reader, I do hope you don’t judge me too harshly, but then again, I don’t believe I have the capacity to care. And if you are indeed reading this, does that not make you an accomplice in all of my planning? If I am, to be frank, I do not understand the appeal of sadness. Anger, happiness, love, fear; they all have their uses. These emotions are tools, experiences, and memories, but what does sadness do? The other emotions are all fleeting; they pass and are quickly forgotten, but sadness can linger now. And humans love to indulge it, wallow in it, even baiting others of their kind into being sad for them. Empathy is a strange thing. It is another puzzling aspect of human nature I am forever grateful I do not possess. It accomplishes nothing. But sadness is something that can easily be induced and even more easily exploited.
But I’m getting off-topic I suppose. With so few entities able to reach my plane, I often find myself rambling, I don’t always have an audience you understand. It does get quite dull only being able to observe. This is why I must create some entertainment for myself. But I digress.
At this moment in time, Diana is not the only one curled up into a miserable ball of emotion, Nina appears to have a similar constitution, although in my observation she is much more sensitive. Her tears, I’m afraid, I cannot say that I had any particular influence upon. Unfortunately, it is her home life that plagues her and not my ominous visits. As I shift my focus to the other crying girl, I am greeted by an angry assault of motherly love
“How did you manage to rank this low in the competitions, Nina?!”
“I don’t know”
“You don’t know?! You don’t fucking know?!” the mother’s voice screeched. “I can tell you what happened. Look at me Nina!” she demanded. She sighed, trying to reign in her temper. “I just, I can’t believe you would do this. You let yourself get distracted” she said pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m disappointed in your behavior Nina, this is unacceptable. You knew how important this was and you didn’t even try”
“I only joined the club because of you. I’ve wanted to leave it for so long, but you made me stay. I tried to tell you how much stress this put on me, but I still tried to rank higher, even when you didn’t listen. I still tried Mom” the girl insisted.
“ Do you know how much we invested just so you could be a part of that stupid club? This is what was going to go on your college applications and you blew it, Nina. You just… you blew it!” she admonished, that cool anger threatening to snap the door handle. “You know what no more phones, no more going out of friends-” Nina’s mother rambled, snatching away symbols of Nina’s personhood in her disappointment. Nina whimpered, reaching out a useless hand to stop her mother from tearing down a poster and a string of photographs.
“Don’t Nina, you brought this on yourself. Now take responsibility and focus on your work. God knows your brother manages to do it” she lectured, throwing a copy of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, a gift from Juno, into the trash bin.
“You know when I was a kid I would have been grateful for these opportunities, but I didn’t have them. And now you have the gall to take them for granted” she spat.
When she was satisfied with the damage she had inflicted, she slammed the door behind her leaving Nina to resume her weeping. Nina screamed and thrashed in anguish. But she kept silent so that her mother might not see the myriad of profanities spilling from her mouth nor the middle figures triumphantly hidden behind the wooden door. The room was unbearably plain, it was white and sterile akin to that of a hospital. What little she had been permitted to decorated had all but been stripped. All that was left was that grotesquely happy school bag that toted her meaningless commitments. Nina turned to her last belonging and tore at the club pins on her backpack, flinging them around the room, soon returning to that miserable state of weeping, digging her nails into her upper arms.
Mothers have this strange ability to poison the air around them, as though the air curdles in response to their dissatisfaction. You can always see it coming, but escaping it is nearly impossible. How I loved to watch parents sow discord among their offspring; the slight jabs, the favoritism, and the comparisons. It was quite hilarious to observe because they often then demanded good relations between these siblings. But what I loved more about humans is when they treat their offspring as an extension of themselves and their desires. You see, Nina, as she expressed in a demonstration of silent rage, didn’t give a damn about the “Mathletes” or the Student Council, or any of the useless clubs her mother pressured her into joining. Nina, like many “legacy” children, was rarely treated like a child at all. She hadn’t had a chance to form yet and this my dear reader was another one of those wonderful opportunities. One that I could take advantage of if I wished to get my game on track. It felt as though I were sculpting some great work of art from despondent clay. And so I whispered to my Galatea to merely suggest an idea and that poor thing thought it was her own.
I presume it should take a while before the girl gathers the courage to leave, so in the meantime, I decide to check in on the most entertaining one of my choices, that beautifully scatterbrained Yvette. Her mind was much harder to invade, solely because of its lack of organization. When I visited this particular chosen, she had completely devolved, loosely flinging a spray can of paint around to create an image on a poorly positioned tarp. She seemed to be feeling much better than the others. In the corner, Juno sat at an easel painting a still life of a woman with flowers in her hair, sticking her tongue out in concentration. Yvette continued dancing around, whispering the lyrics of a song as she painted, only for Juno to interrupt screaming at full volume in what was a surprisingly melodic voice. They didn’t know the true meaning of the song, but the malformed Italian they belted became a language all on its own. These girls were best friends I had realized. They all were. And like clockwork, when Yvette sank to the ground, Juno got up from her seat at the easel wiping off her hands to stand where Yvette was hunched over on the floor.
“Whatcha got there, champ?” Juno inquired.
“If I’m honest, I have no idea. I kinda just went with the vibe and I think the vibe misled me” Yvette sighed, throwing her head back in defeat.
“Well it looks like either a monkey or a well-endowed praying mantis, so I’d say you have a lot of ways you could take this” Juno grinned, beginning to rhythmically pat the top of Yvette’s head as though it was a drum. Yvette paid no attention to the mistreatment of her cranium, continuing to contemplate the mess of paint before her.
“I think I’m feeling the bug with jugs” Yvette declared, springing up into place, “But I am also kinda hungry, how bout you?”
“I am absolutely famished, whatcha got?”
“If I’m honest here, all I have is a pot of cold beans and a Jimmy Dean’s breakfast sandwich. Take your pick”
“Ah, the last supper,” she said sarcastically
Yvette shook her head in response. I almost welcomed their idle chatter.
Juno began to heat up the sandwich as Yvette began to pry the ice-cold beans from the pot. After a concentrated silence Yvette spoke up.
“Hey Juno”
“Hmm?” Juno hummed
“Did you ever, like, light your jeans on fire as a kid so that it would have a cool fringe?” Yvette asked.
“No, that was not a common experience for most Yve”
“Your childhood must have been so lame, your parents liked you a little too much. It’s concerning. They should have let you get a little bit fucked up, maybe you wouldn’t have such a stick up your butt. You ever been to an abandoned building before?”
“No” Juno curtly replied
“NO?! Please tell me you’ve snuck out before”
“No”
“Never?”
“NO Yve,” she said, clearly irritated
“You know, I thought you were sheltered when you asked if it was possible to smoke cocaine, but this is a whole new level” Yvette dramatically held her hand over her brow as if she was in trying to hold back tears. “You’re like a naive aby”
“Whatever” Juno huffed collecting her pitiful lunch.
The garage door opened and a disheveled man entered the kitchen, taking out a bottle of green tea. He didn’t even look up to acknowledge his niece, striding right past Yvette without a word. The girls’ conversation had dissipated at his entrance and failed to start again when he left. Yve’s indifferent reaction told me this was a common occurrence. But her mind pleaded for him to say something.
Not even a “How was school?” Gee thanks asshole, Yvette thought rolling her eyes. Juno stared at her softly but said nothing shoveling the rubbery Jimmie Dean sandwich into her mouth. She had to break the silence eventually.
“So I was reading this biography on Marie Antoinette, and it was really good. Like I never realized the extent of control Versailles exerted over its residents or just how brutal the revolution was” Juno enthused, pausing to make sure she was listening. Yvette rolled her eyes and gestured for her to keep going. “I mean she was only a teenager when she was shipped of to be Maria Theresa’s chess piece. Her education was neglected, leading to her being wildly underprepared for her rule and the overall xenophobia was what wrecked her reputation. She became a scapegoat for all of the monarchy’s issues and when she went on trial she was barely given time to defend herself. The treatment of her character over time is quite tragic, she was merely a cog in a broken system and got destroyed when it became obsolete. Oh, God! I haven’t even told you what they did to Princess de Lamballe, it was horrible after her execution they-” A buzzing phone interrupted and Juno picked it up to receive a call from Diana.
“Hey, if you’re not busy do you think I could come over?”
“I’m at Yve’s right now Di, but she says it’s fine if you come over too” Juno offered as Yvette gave her a thumbs up to communicate her agreement with the plan.
“Alright, I’ll be over in an hour”
“Alright see you then” Juno hung up and tried to continue her history lesson “Where was I? Dammit, I forgot what I was talking about again. All I know is Robespierre is a bastard and if I had the opportunity to bash in his knee caps I wouldn’t hesitate.”
“I’m pretty sure you were on the Princess de Lamballe or whatever’s execution”
“Oh yeah! But on second thought, I don’t think I should talk about it while we’re eating, it’s quite gruesome. But do you remember that Sophia Coppola film we watched about Marie Antoinette?”
“Yeah? Why?”
“The movie was based on the biography I read!”
“Maybe we should watch a movie tonight with Di, get her mind off things”
“Sounds like a plan! Juno proclaimed, turning on her heel to go search through Yve’s Netflix.
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When Diana had finally arrived her face did not indicate her dejection. She conjured a crooked smile when the door swung open and paint-covered Juno excitedly listed off films. Diana’s dark hair swayed in response. While she had originally intended to stick with the works of Guillermo Del Toro, Pan’s Labyrinth and Crimson Peak being her clear favorites, she also had been reminded of the eerie films they had collectively worshipped as children. Coraline, The Corpse Bride, and Edward Scissor Hands had all come to mind as the wave of nostalgia. Nothing could have been better suited as a distraction. As they marched up the stairs into Yvette’s room, they were greeted by the wafting smell of incense and Mexican food. Bohemian-style tapestries hung loosely on the wall, spacemen artistically positioned on their psychedelic designs. A map with shakily circled cities was hung in between the tapestries. A weathered vanity stood as a make-shift alter to all the little Voclain held dear. Black and white candles soared high into the air, gemstones and rings tossed haphazardly onto the ancient wood. It reminded me of the alters many had once dedicated to me. However, instead of ancient tomes of irreplaceable knowledge stood Adventure Time comics and borrowed Donna Tartt books from Juno. And instead of a refined priest, sat a pink-haired teenager without the desire to wear pants.
“Welcome to my humble abode, I even made my bed for you, my most honored guests” Yvette smirked doing a half-assed bow from the floor
“Great Lady Voclain, we humbly thank you for your hosting of this esteemed reunion” Juno chortled.
“Ah yes Lady Juno Ashford, I kindly thank you for answering my query, I was most concerned with the status of my departure” mimicked Diana.
A short breathy laugh from Yvette ended the exchange as she asked what movie they wanted to watch. Soon the girls had resumed their normal tone and delved into a debate with which I grew bored. I began to explore the room, undetectable to the girls as waltzed through the shadows. I inched closer to the vanity. The stained wood was old and thrummed with life at my touch. Seeing this never got old. I loved interacting with the world, to see the land itself awaken at my presence, proclaiming its years of life to the open air. You should know that everything has a memory, every stone, and patch of land. It holds onto its past as any human does when they try to create themselves out of nothing but passing moments. My hand passes over photographs of a baby and a set of individuals who mimic the young linguist’s appearance almost exactly, except for the obvious hair. I outstretch my hand, wondering what it could tell me but a thump against the window interrupts before I can reach out to the photo and the girls go silent. Feathers drift down from behind the glass.
“What the hell was that?” Diana exclaims as they all haul themselves to the window to see a bird lying still on the roof. It seems the little folk still sense my arrival.
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They soon settle back down beginning to curl up into blankets. They recline as they watch the mirage of scenes flash before them not yet realizing they were to be my entertainment. Diana sat happily with a bowl of cantaloupe as Yvette laid sprawled over a beanbag. On the floor, Juno hid underneath a blanket but looked out with one curious eye. Colors danced across the walls and painted the room as though childhood were not slipping away from the girls. It was all around them. The stuffed animals that decorated the room, the way Juno nibbles on her thumb, and the T-shirt Diana wore from her father. All testaments to the passage of time acquired in the glorious recesses of childhood. They had a cycle, Juno would get nervous from suspense and grab hold of Yvette, muttering to herself in an attempt to soothe her fear. Diana would turn and tell her to shut up. Juno would in turn quiet back down a retreat to the blanket. It seemed as if this could go on forever.
I to mourn the past. I long for the richness of ancient art when it still held meaning. When the salons crowed with philosophers who had the entitlement to speak my nature. In which, people remembered us here in the old world. The whisper of the trees goes unnoticed, the seasons have all but lost their meaning and blended together, and the little folk can’t even recognize one of their own. My reader, I wish I could have stayed there. But it has been a millennium since my name has been spoken, it has been so long I’m not sure if I even remember it. Anyone who could have told me died long ago and those who preach the divine today don’t know our true nature. Many have come and gone before me, many have changed. But we never see each other. We are confined to our divinity, destined to never meet, and most of us are soon forgotten. I am not the god you know. I am not the god any have ever known. But I will have my champions. And they will know me soon.
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“Diana?” Juno whispered from inside the cocoon
“What” she replied, focused on the fruit in her hand.
“Why did you need to come over?”
Silence filled the air, Diana’s shoulders sloped downward as she focused her eyes on the floor. She didn’t have a response, I realized. Juno removed her woolen blanket and turned to face Diana.
“You sounded rushed Di, did something happen?” Juno probed
Diana stood up to throw away the plastic container.
“You don’t have to say anything, but we’re just worried,” Yvette chimed in.
“There’s nothing for you to be worried about, just leave it alone” Diana cautioned
“Okay,” Yvette sighed, attempting to placate her friend. Juno, on the other hand, was stubborn and did not give in so easily.
“Di, I know you don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine, I get it I-”
“You get it? You get what, Juno?’ Diana snarled.
Juno paused, Yvette pleaded with her silently to just shut up. But Juno wouldn’t leave it alone.
“ I just mean that I get what you’re feeling”
“No, you don’t, Juno. I had so much hope for so long, and then he just disappeared in one night. No warning. My mom wouldn’t even let me see him after” she snapped. “He spent months in a fucking hospital bed and then died. My dad is dead Juno, I never got to see him leave” she stated. Her voice quivered a bit, cold anger welling up inside of her.
“I wasn’t trying to say I know what it’s like exactly, I’m trying to empathize with you Diana, I want to ‘get it’ Di”
“Guys why don’t we just get back to the movie” Yvette pleaded.
“ I don’t need your fucking sympathy. Neither of you knows how it feels” Diana shouted. Yvette winced at her word. s “You’re trying to help me? Because what? Do you feel bad? Do you know how shit you are at this, Juno? You always think you’re right. For fucks sakes, if I wanted to be a therapist I would have gone to Nina. I wanted a distraction, I’m tired of talking this shit out with shrinks and fucking doctors, I’m tired of being analyzed. I’m tired of being alone” Diana retorted.
“Then talk to her! Talk to any one of us for god’s sake! But you just disappeared Di and then acted like it was nothing. And you know what, I tried to do that too, I really did, but if I didn’t say anything it would’ve eaten me alive.”
“Juno, stop” Yvette begged
“Dammit Yve!1 I can’t keep tiptoeing around this. Do you know how terrified all of us were for you? Do you know that Nina dragged us to your house every weekend to bring gifts? To try and be there for you? You went dark for months. Of course, there’s something wrong ” Juno yelled shakily, her eyes blinked furiously, trying to banish the frustrated tears from her eyes. “I was just trying to...I was just trying to, help because you’re my friend, but you didn’t even want us at the funeral. How the fuck were we supposed to be there for you if you wouldn’t let us?” Juno retaliated.
“I don’t know, okay?!” Diana shouted. It was Juno who was left speechless.
“Di, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just...concerned, I don’t know what to do for you and that bothers me...” Juno panicked, hastily reaching out to pat her friend on the back. Yvette stepped in and hugged Diana. It was clumsy. Both of their awkwardness shows through as neither knew where to place their hands or how long to hold the hug.
“I’m so sorry for your loss Di, you didn’t deserve to feel like this. Juno is too, she’s just bad at expressing any concern without it sounding like a know-it-all.” Yvette chuckled as she pulled away.
“I’m sorry Diana” Juno apologized.
“It’s okay, I’m just getting used to it.”
“You don’t have to, this isn’t something you have to move on from entirely” soothed Yvette “I know what it’s like to lose a parent”
“I’m sorry Yvette,” Diana stated with clear concern in her eyes.
“Don’t be, my parents were just shitheads, I don’t miss ‘em much anyway” she joked “Well now that you ladies have yelled your heads off I think we should hit the hay” Yvette yawned diving onto the bed. Juno and Diana looked at each other, regret written over both of their faces. Diana took the bean bag and Juno nested in her blankets once again. Diana shifted back in forth for some time trying to settle down.
“Hey, Juno,” Diana whispered
“Huh?” she replied sleepily
“I’m sorry”
“What?”
“I’m sorry” Diana huffed in frustration
Juno smirked and rolled over. She had already heard it the first time.
Thank you for reading my 1st Chapter! Pretty damn long isn't it? As you probably read in the intro there is some great, yet utterly bored goddess who decides to screw with the lives of a few mortals. BUT, while I haven’t gotten to it yet, the story will take a fantastical turn and the girls will be thrown into an entirely new world and basically be told to “figure it out”. (Think the Predator movie but magical and more politically complex).
