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@asteorra
Love and Love Letters
I feel I am now rusty writing love letters. I have not written one in quite a long time. Not that I am making excuses, but for a time, it was a chore to pin down what love is all about. Love used to be reading in a bookstore waiting for him to pick me up for lunch or dinner. It became sunsets with our toes buried in the sand with a beer bottle in hand. Then it was doing errands at the grocery…
Moving In (which should have been a life update journal entry)
I haven’t found my journal in our gazillion piles of boxes, so I am dumping this here. Our family has moved in to our new home a week ago. To say that it was exhausting is an understatement. The house is a mess, so is my head. So far it has been utter chaos and resonating noise. No room looks decent, there’s always a pile under what and which but I do hope it will look like a home soon. The…
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Rough Roads. Tough Times.
It has been a long-standing joke about how incredibly loooong January have been. While others find it a joke, it kind of feels like reality for me. I am not a fan of resolutions and “new year, new me”. I always believed that these changes are not something you decide on over a night of fireworks and wine. Sound like your New Year Scrooge, but yeah. We started 2024 with some plans though. One is…
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"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." -Thomas Campbell Rest well, Lolo. Take rest in our hearts. https://asteorra.wordpress.com/2020/01/08/2815/ https://www.instagram.com/p/B7TU5x7n7vj/?igshid=f3w0wmcch3j1
If my siblings and I were to have a fans club, You, definitely, would be the first member to sign up. You were the most appreciative of our tiniest feats and the proudest of our achievements. I was your first grandchild.
You, as much as my parents, delighted on my first step, first word, and all my other firsts – including my explanation of what differentiates a girl from a boy. You were there during my Preparatory Graduation. You were too happy to watch me read and deliver the First Reading at the mass. I was also awarded Gold Medalist that day, so you raved about me for a couple of months. Grade School was a different light, I did not belong to the Star Section, but you always had kind words of encouragement. You always gave me books to read. You always wanted me to speak to you in straight English. You read my stories, my prose, my poems. You took pride when my first article came out in our school paper. I was Filipino Literary editor, but my published articles were in English. Haha!
In the midst of our family’s fall, you gave my Mama some cash so I can take qualifying exams for the Makiling School for the Arts. You said my writings were raw yet beautiful, and has to be honed. I did not even try signing up for that School (though in hindsight, maybe I should have had). I graduated high school. You rejoiced when I passed the UPCAT. You were the happiest when I wore the Sablay on my shoulders.
Same things you did for my siblings. You almost danced when my sister topped the National Schools Press Conference for Editorial Writing. When she was commissioned by RCBC to illustrate their children’s book, you did not want to turn the pages, you just wanted to stare at them. I will never forget my brother’s Recognition. I was walking through the halls, looking for a good angle to take a video, then you were there, the teary-eyed kind of proud. My brother looked awful, he was too dark, stripped of several pounds, some concussions on his face, yet you posed proudly beside him. You traveled miles wearing my brother’s oversized polo to see his first promotion of sorts.
Our milestones were yours. When you found out I was pregnant, you cheered on. You were too excited to see your apo sa tuhod. Your face beamed when you first saw him, when you carried him in your arms. You were old, but strong. You know my Mama always told me that in the province, when kids get sick all the time, they call them by a different name to confuse the spirits. You were named Pedro but was eventually called Mateo. I named my first boy after your new nickname, hoping he’d gain the strength your name has afforded you. And he is, indeed, strong. Maybe too much for his age, even. And I hope he’d also be the cheerleader that you were.
At my little boy’s Baptism Reception. Too proud my boy’s named after him.
My little boy’s first Christmas.
Goofy with Mama.
Boys. ❤
Last year, when I first visited you after your stroke, I played my older boy’s video. Your eyes twitched, you smiled or maybe that was an attempt to laugh. I don’t know. I cried inside. The hospital bed did not suit you, you were always on your feet. So I promised you’d carry him when you get better. I promised you’d meet the boy inside my tummy. You never got to see or hold him, but he’s as adorable as his Kuya. Watch over them, Lolo. You have a lot to cheer on for them.
Today, I didn’t feel as lonely or devastated as I was last year. Today, I was relieved. You fought hard, Lolo. You fought well. You fought too long. And today, your fight is over. You deserve this rest. You deserve this peace.
Thank you, Lolo. I doubt I ever said this as an adult, but I love you.
If my siblings and I were to have a fans club, You, definitely, would be the first member to sign up.
Riot everyday means everything's OK. I love you, my little hoomans. Mucho, kahit kagulo. #thirdyistwo #darlingdudeDos https://www.instagram.com/p/B68XH84H_gf/?igshid=1q0mes44z8k16
Magpapa-quote sana ako kaso ang hanash ko lang naman e mag selfie because finally, braces-free! #nofilter #idaansalighting #walangmakeupkasitamad (at Centuria Medical Makati) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5UUZLhHOS6/?igshid=zmbrl6b04axz
Felt cute. Not going to delete. Ever. #darlingdudeDos (at Three Sisters' Restaurant of Pasig) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4HydzMn94K/?igshid=uffwv84j6btx
Today's cheapo book purchase makes me wish my boys were old enough to understand and make their own art. https://www.instagram.com/p/B4CoSkSnwJH/?igshid=wv7kff8zztw8
Last night, #thirdyistwo learned that videos get recorded through CCTVs. So here he is, singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as if he was on Facebook Live. 😂😂😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/B3IcnH7Hn4R/?igshid=ctppzxjl5vr2
"Magbiro ka na sa lasing, wag lang sa baging gising" proves true with Thirdy serving some real and serious side-eye. HAHAHAHA He's normally not bugnot even when woken up by his sometimes annoyingly kulit baby brother, except for this when he woke up in a sea of strangers aka children's party. Mej spirit animal ko sya dyan ano. HAHAHA #thirdyistwo #darlingdudeDos #thirdyskuyachronicles https://www.instagram.com/p/B3BZiU0nyG4/?igshid=btcb24mk9fif
Whipped magic on some soup bread, turned it into sticky cinnamon toast. Breakfast in Bed sana kaso may batang ginawang playground yung kama. 😂 #thirdyistwo #homecooking https://www.instagram.com/p/B1C-NxjHsxB/?igshid=1cgvj7pjpjzl6
We have always wanted the boys to bond, but we were always extra careful because Kuya Thirdy's always gigil and excited. He'd leave balls, toy cars, and blocks on his brother's crib. He'd squeeze his brother's legs out of gigil. He'd join me look after the baby when I get up in the middle of the night. He'd chant "Baby! Baby! Baby!". Just last Friday, I was surprised when he caressed his brother's face then kissed him in the forehead, same way we do to him. After a few minutes, he pulled his Abuello's hand and motioned to feed his brother Banana Cake. Then, he wrapped his arms around his brother to carry him. The younger one, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the attention. I cried inside. My husband and I must have done something good to deserve these two tiny affectionate humans. I hope they continue to thrive in love and kindness. ❤️❤️❤️ #thirdyistwo #thirdyskuyachronicles #darlingdudeDos https://www.instagram.com/p/B1AoGgMHxFB/?igshid=1y18h0o1ovntn
This year's office surprise was a challenge to pull off - there's just 5 of them in a team and I haven't met any of them. So had to do a little stalking before the planning. (Kunware nahirapan ako magstalk, pero pro naman talaga hahaha) Here's to more years, surprises, little things, and long celebrations. I love you, husband. 💖 https://www.instagram.com/p/By5FiZPnhes/?igshid=1ngaiwr37nxt9
Life having 2 kids is no walk in the park - it is in fact, a walk (a run-after, more appropriately) in Jurassic Park. And I thank you, Papa, for being the Owen to my Claire, for being the best teammate in this grueling but fulfilling adventure. We will get through this alive and well, with our 2 little dinosaurs. Hahaha I may be bugnot to the annoying you most of the time (parang Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard again), love language ko lang yon. Charot. I love you always. 💕 And yes, kapit lang, it will get better soon. Late lahat ha, Happy Birthday and Happy Father's Day! Hahaha https://www.instagram.com/p/Byyji_VnHly/?igshid=1lfc0c7j8qf4m
Grateful to have this woman in my life, who have embraced my flaws and imperfections, and welcomed my boys with open arms. Happy Birthday! I love you Mama, my three boys do too! https://www.instagram.com/p/ByXMq9Ln_RQ/?igshid=1xz7ha8dg5r5f
Silly toddler jumped in to the newborn's crib. Haaay my boys! #thirdyskuyachronicles #thirdyistwo #walapadinhashtagsibabynumber2 https://www.instagram.com/p/ByRPXVpnPsu/?igshid=18sse4fzqxuw8