A S T E R E E S K

"I guess we all have that "someone" more special than the rest, someone who we've loved and will always love, someone who we'd keep getting back to, someone whom we repeatedly cried over, someone who broke our hearts numerous times, someone we crave to be...

[astereesk-blog]

Tbh, Luhan’s pic is LQ and I edited this one on freaking PicsArt. Like seriously, bro? My photoshop crashes all the time. Yet, Selu is still my OTP.

[astereesk-blog]

Happy Break-up

"Xiao Lu, are you ready?" Sehun asked the other as his eyes scanned the area. The latter gave a smile, "More than ready to be honest. The question is, are you ready Sehunnie?"

Sehun simply nodded. His hands clutching a medium sized box containing a pair of shoes, which Luhan gave to him on their 7th month as a couple; a leather-strapped watch also given by Luhan on their first anniversary, letters, some accessories and a pair of sunglasses. To summarize it up, all the contents of the box were the stuffs the other gave to Sehun.

The same goes for Luhan. He was carrying a big box containing Sehun's gifts. It contains a lot of stuffed toys: Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse and Hello Kitty, Luhan's favorite. Also, there are some Manchester United's merchandise, a jersey and photo cards to be exact. Letters, notes, photographs, and even a 7x7x7 Rubik's cube. All of these came from Sehun.

"Ready?" Sehun asked, taking a deep breath as he imagined what will happen next.

"Game." Luhan replied and that is the cue for them to let go of these memorable stuffs.They watched as the boxes fall from the bridge down to the river, earning a loud splash from the water.

Luhan smiled bitterly. 'It is really the time to let go. There is no way that Sehun's decision will change.'

Sehun on the other hand can't help but to feel the agony. The both of them took a good care of their relationship but where did they go wrong?

"So, it's a goodbye, then." Sehun said as he took a last glance on his former lover. The other gave an awkward smile and it is the time for them to let go just like what they did on those gifts.

Everything will be a part of their bittersweet memories, but they knew that just like any other people living in this world, it'll be forgotten.

The both of them took a step. Ready to move forward and doesn't have plans to take a look back. The funny thing is, this is the same place where their relationship started, where feelings for one another blossomed.

It seems like it is the starting point and ending spot for their love. Maybe, they are destined to meet each other in a certain point, only to separate to take the different directions.

For some reasons, Luhan couldn't take it anymore that's why he turned around to face Sehun. He was expecting the latter's retreating figure but he was surprised to see Sehun, on the same spot, smiling sadly at him.

"Sehunnie," He called the lover's name. "I forgot to include something in that box," Luhan admitted.

"Me too," Sehun replied. "I forgot to throw this..." He raised his left hand, only to reveal a necklace by which their engagement ring acted as a pendant.

Sehun took a step forward, so that they can be considering as standing face to face. The both of them are caught up in the moment that's why there are no words that comes out from their mouth. "I'm letting you go," Luhan showed his pendant, same as Sehun's, and was about to throw it, when the other pulled his hand away from the railings.

Everything happened so fast. In a blink of an eye, their lips were connected against each other. It is just a simple and short kiss, just like their first time. But it is undeniably powerful enough to ignite those feelings they thought that is buried deep down and was meant to be forgotten.

"I can't let you go, Xiao Lu." Sehun admitted. His eyes, gazing through Luhan' soul.

"I don't want to forget everything. I don't want to forget you because you are my everything." His other hand pulled the shorter one's waist towards him and he hugged him way too tight.

On the other hand, Luhan returned the hug. He's overwhelmed and doesn't have an idea on how to react correctly.

"It is supposed to be a happy break-up, right?" The taller asked in a muffled voice making Luhan hum.

"Yes, it is."

"Well, I guess that having a break-up once in a while can cause us extreme happiness because of the freedom attached to it." Sehun said as he placed a soft kiss on Luhan's hair.

"But breaking up with someone you truly love is really heartbreaking and nerve wrecking." He added causing the other's heart to feel the consuming guilt.

He was about to say something when the smaller one tip toed and claimed his lips.

"Well, this is the opposite of break up."

[astereesk-blog]

27 THINGS

1. They say that "Opposites do attract." But there is always an exception in that principle. I am a narcissist, so  he is. I am cute. But his charms is a blow on my part. Now, do the Math.

2. Be considerate; Learn to appreciate his favorites. Unless, it's coffee, specifically if it's Cafe Americano. Though I love him, thanks, but no thanks.

3. When he two of you had a terrible fight, compromise. Do what he says; even if that only means that you are going to do things you hated most (like acting like a cute kid doing what they call "bbuing bbuing.")

4. Try to be or act like a sweet person. Trust me, Chinese rice cakes is the best when he's mad.

5. Learn to share everything you have. Exchanging clothes, more like 'cosplaying' your partner is one of the best yet weirdest thing to do.

6. Get to know him even more; ask things about his family, their beliefs, and culture. If he's from another country, ask about him about their lifestyle. Who knows, maybe, he will teach you their language,; because you know what they say, A guy who can speak or converse, rather, in different languages is extremely hot.

7. If you asked for a date, take your special someone into a place that you, yourself can enjoy. By doing so, the both of you will get to know more each other because of the conversations that will surely occur in the process. (But for some reasons, I am not a fan of conversations especially when I'm sipping my favorite drink in my favorite shop. Ah! Bubble tea!)

8. Learn to admit your mistakes. Regarding on item #7, I am encouraging others to use their partners for their personal interests. But the real thing is, I am studying 'their' language so that I can communicate with him freely and tell him everything what I want to say since day one. After all, sometimes, actions is not enough and you need words to clarify everything.

9. DON'T MISS HIS BIRTHDAY. Just don't!

10. Don't you ever dare forget to greet him. May it be during lunch time, siesta, or even when he's having a secret midnight snack. Take note that "Good evening" is different from "Good night" and "See you tomorrow."

11. Tolerate his actions. If you are a ticklish person, endure him and his antics. (Good thing is, I am not like that. The bad news is, my chin is always suffering from his assaults. Ahh.... Things you will do for love.)

12. Control your jealousy. If he's with another person, let him be. But kill that other person in your mind.

13. Keep in mind that he's your property but know your limits.

14. In contrast to #13, you are his', but he must know his limits.

15. Be a knight-in-shining armor. Protect him at all costs.

16. Involve yourself into sports (I included it on the list since he told me that it is good for our health.)

17. Have a diary with you. Write everything you want to have something to reminisce in years to come. Don't forget to include him on every single entry.

18. Always try to memorize his face; his eyes, nose, lips and his scent; try to remember everything while you can. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. 19. Don't push yourself into him. Seeds will grow even if it's not been watered properly. Yet excessive watering will only lead to his death.

20. Try to act dumb every once in a while. His laugh is one of the most precious sound here in this world.

21. Change for the better. Change for yourself. If he's truly yours, he will be happy for you.

22. Tell him how much you love him every single hour of everyday. It is better to get embarrassed than to regret everything in the future.

23. Learn to respect his decisions. Let him follow his dreams. His happiness is your happiness, too, remember?

24. Hold his hand tightly like what you want him to do. Don't ever let go. His hand, slipping away from your grip is the most excruciating thing in this word.

25. Love him for who he is. Accept his flaws and failures. Cheer him up when he's struggling under the ocean filed with insecurities. Always assure your love.

26. Always tell him how much you love him. Don't be like me.

27. Lastly, DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM. Even if that only means that you are going to let him go; set him free and be contented with his life without you. Masochist as it may seem. I rather have him happier without me by his side than for him to stay and having a hard time. It's too much to take to be honest.

-Oh Sehun, 2020.

[astereesk-blog]

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

"Is Sehun inside?" Luhan inquired hesitantly. He was nervous as heck and seating bullets despite of the chilly weather in Beijing.

"Yes, Mr. Lu. He's inside, getting ready for the taping," The staff informed him. He was definitely glad for a fact that he knows some of the staffs personally that's why he can easily have an access tho these things. Even the director of the show used to work with him for a project months ago. You can say that they've gotten very close. Well, who can resist Luhan's charm?

Luhan slowly went to one of the changing rooms, where Sehun's name in Mandarin was attached on to the door. He didn't even bother to knock. Afraid that he'll mess everything up.

His heart started to beat erratically the moment he saw the younger's figure. He is definitely a grown up man, Luhan concluded. This is the first time he saw the younger personally for a very long time.

To be honest, he thought that he is starting to forget what his Sehunnie looks like. He doesn't check Sehun's updates on SNS for a fact that the more he will miss Sehun.

"Sehunnie,"

He called the younger's name causing it to turn around. Their eyes only met for a split second but it is enough for Luhan. It is enough for him... just to see his face.

Luhan took a step forward... to be this close.

Silence filled the atmosphere and none of them wanted to break the ice. They are simply staring at one another, not even bothering to make a move.

Sehun must've been tired of the drama that's why he turned his heel to leave. But of course, to make his action successful, he needs Luhan to get out of his way.

"Sehunnie, do you hear me?" Luhan took a step forward, so does Sehun.

"Sehun, I am asking you. Do you hear me?" Then. the younger took a couple of steps causing Luhan to get frustrated.

"Can you hear me, Sehunnie? Stop ignoring me!" He screamed as his hand stopped Sehun from going further. The younger doesn't seemed to like the idea that's why he pulled his arm from the other.

"Now, you know what it feels like to be ignored," Sehun said causing him to bow his head.

"You already had an idea what it feels like to call someone who matters to you the most but he is pretending that he doesn't hear a single thing,"

"Like he doesn't hear your painful screams and pleads. Ignores your shattering heart and not minding his sorrowful face when he was crying his heart out." Sehun continued, his voice was very cold, like ice, causing Luhan to dread even more.

"Sehun, I... I'm so---"

"Sorry? If you are truly sorry, you should've known better. I was fine before I met you and doing fine even without you. You are only causing me pain so stop it." Sehun walked away. Leaving him all alone. Luhan want to run after him and scream out loud but Sehun was right. After everything that happened, Sehun will never listen.

He will never ever want to talk to him anymore. His Sehunnie is long gone. Sehun will never knew about his condition.

Luhan is dying. Sehun doesn't need to know that. Sehun will never know.

[*3 AM blues. I wrote this one earlier before going to sleep. To be honest, it is written on the back of my accounting journal. Haha. My classmate requested for a sequel to this one but I declined. It's too painful. Lemme know what you think!]

[astereesk-blog]

”Say you’ll never let me go.”

[astereesk-blog]

WHATEVER

“When you give too much for a really long time and deep deep deep deep down inside, you’re subconsciously hoping for a return. But when you realized that none of your efforts was actually been acknowledged, you couldn’t help but to burst your emotions, and all you wanted to do is just to escape. You have nowhere else to go and your tears starts to fall at the ducts of your eyes. It’s painful to give, It’s painful to care, BUT IT’S EVEN MORE PAINFUL TO LOVE SOMEONE.

[astereesk-blog]

STIFFNECK

May kasabihan tayo sa Pilipino: “Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan………………………may stiff neck.”

Lahat ng tao, may stiff neck. Kapag tumataya sa lotto, halos oras oras magdasal. Pero pag nanalo na, swerte na ang minsan. (Cruel yet true to life example.)

Kapag may kailangan, ang lakas magdemand. Pero kapag ang iba naman ang may kailangan, walang pakialam.

Sa panahon din ngayon, maging ang mga teenagers ay may stiff neck. Sinisiraan ang sariling eskwelahan… bulok ang school namin… masusungit ang mga teachers… madumi ang banyo… sira ang mga electric fan, para kaming linilechon… sira sira yung mga upuan… para kaming mga sardinas sa sobrang siksiksikan… pero ang taas naman ng tuition.

Oops! Teka pips, kahit bulok ang school mo, may utang na loob ka pa rin jan.

Pati mga anak ngayon, may stiff neck din. Hingi lang nang hingi ng baon, ayaw namang tumulong. Pinag-aaral, puro barkada naman ang inaatupag.

Minsan, naisip ko, sobra pala talagang stiff ng leeg ko. Sumasakit eh. Dejoke! Seryoso na ‘to. Walang hiya ako. Hindi ako tumutulong sa paglilinis ng bahay… kapag inuutusan lang ako. Tamad din ako pagdating sa pag-aasikaso sa mga kapatid ko. I love procrastinating.

Nature ko na siguro yun.

So anong pinaglalaban ko? Wala ulit! Ang masasabi ko lang, try to cure your stiff neck. (LOL! RIP ENGLISH! HAHAHAHA!)

Remember, matuto kang lumingon sa pinanggalingan mo. Baka sa sobrang tigas ng leeg mo … ay mapahamak ka.

Random post from my old blog : July 3, 2014

[astereesk-blog]

Gazillion stories, ONE author.

[astereesk-blog]

Out Of The Woods 

[astereesk-blog]

If you’re…

If you’re still breathing, Consider yourself lucky then, For lungs of others are heaping And their time is about to end.

If you’re still bleeding,

Try to be thankful for anything For some people are merely dying Even though they almost did everything

If you’re in love, You must be very grateful For others doesn’t have any opportunities to grab Like a knife-on your back-was being stabbed

If you are still living in this world Don’t just easily surrender Strive to be happy and learn to appreciate other’s every word And by that, you’ll live in decency and will left everything to wonder

[astereesk-blog]

Ganun pala ang love. Hindi palaging masusuklian ang pagmamahal mo. Bonus lang pala yun kapag minahal ka rin in return.

[astereesk-blog]

CORNY-ISM

Minsan, I mean madalas akong mapa-isip. Kung ano nga bang nakita ko sa taong yun. Infatuation lang ‘to mga pips. Hindi PA ito love.

Yeah! I get it! Hindi sya perfect. No, I mean, hindi close to perfection ang personality nya. May nakapagsabi nga sa akin na baka itsura lang nya ang trip ko kaya ganun eh. Physical Attraction nga lang ika nga nila. Pero bakit ganun? Kung physical attraction lang, bakit gan'to? I mean… the fudge! Di ako makaconstruct ng sentence.

Sabog sya. Pramis! Yung boses nya… Argh! Nakakahiya mang aminin, nung first time kong marinig yung boses nya, para syang lasing. Haha! Pero habang tumatagal, lalo na ngayon, halos magkagoosebumps na ako. Naiinis ako sa kamaisan ko. Minsan nga, naisip kong may saltik talaga ako.

Hindi ko type ang mga gwapo… seryoso. Kapag nakakakita kasi ako ng chinito, bakla kaagad pumapasok sa utak ko. (No pun intended.) Pero nung siya… Amp! Ang corny.

Di ko talaga sya gusto nung una. Pero nang makilala ko unti unti yung personality nya… ayun. Haha!

Point ko: Idealism. Nawawala yan kapag nainlove ka. Mawawala yang standards mo. Magsulat ka ngayon ng mga katangian na dapat taglayin ng lalaki o babae upang sya'y iyong magustuhan. Ilagay sa isang sulok ng bahay. Isiksik mo o whatever. Basta, siguraduhin mong makukuha mo ulit ang papel. After a year, balikan mo at basahin. Pupusta ako repapips na iba na ang standard mo. Kung dati, mas matangkad sayo ang trip mo. Ngayon, okay na yung magkasing height kayo. Kung noon, ayaw mo sa mga mestiza, ngayon gusto mo na. See? Idealism, nawawala yan pag nagmahal ka. I aadjust mo ang standards mo o babaguhin mo miski pa ang lahat ng nakalagay sa SP (Standards Paper ; pauso ko lang. Lol.) mo. Nagbabago ang tingin mo sa ibang tao. Kung dati, gusto mo nang top 1 na guy sa klase. Ngayon, kahit yung bulakbol eh pinatulan mo na.

Love is blind ika nga nila. Pero ayos din sa standards ha?! Nakng pucha! Gusto mo ng supermodel na gf pero ikaw, mukha kang dilis. Gusto mo ng boyfriend ala Augustus Waters pero hindi ka naman kabaitan. Yung totoo fre?! May saltik ka at nagkainsomnia ka?

Anyway, ang next blog ko ay patungkol ulit sa love. Deer Krash? I have a reserved entry for that.

Tsk. Nagbasa na naman kayo ng basura ko. Salamat po ulit… kahit walang kwenta. Hahaha!

[astereesk-blog]

Lezz-On

‘Wag na 'wag mong liligawan ang isang babae dahil lang sa rason na “You want to fix her.” ‘Wag daanin sa awa ang lahat aba. Hindi naman sila mga broken Barbie na kailangang kumpunihin. Tao ang mga ‘yan, may coping mechanisms, medyo nagbbuffer lang minsan ang sa iba pero makakaget-over din naman ‘yan.

Para ka lang “Crown Bond” (yung local na Mighty Bond hahaha, alam mo ba yun? Nevermind hahaha) na pansamantalang aayos sa kanya, pero marupok ang pagkakaayos at temporary lamang ang epekto. Masisira at masisira lamang siya ulit. Mas malaki pa ang damage kesa sa original, kasi naman, umepal ka kahit na alam mong hindi naman talaga ikaw ang Mighty Bond niya na alam mong tunay at karapat-dapat na umayos sa kanya.

-‘Yung kadramahang naisip kong sabihin noon sa isang kaibigan dahil lang nakakita ako ng Mighty Bond!BOOM!

© Ate Nix

_________________________

Isa ito sa mga nakakatuwang status ni Ate Nix bago sya magdeactivate na animo’y may taning na ang buhay. Pero hutaena! Pinaiyak nya ako nung sinabi nyang di na sya babalik. (LOL. Ang ewan ko.)

Kidding aside, nagets mo ba yung meaning ng post na yun?

Minsan kasi, dumarating yung punto na ipinagpipilitan natin yung sarili natin sa iba. Yeah! I get it!

Maaari ka nang kumanta ng “Kung ako nalang sana ang iyong minahal, di ka na muling mag-iisa. Kung ako nalang sana ang ‘yong minahal di ka na muling luluha pa.” gamit ang microphone ng inyong kapitbahay na hinuhulugan ng limang piso.

Nakakaasar kasi nagmumukha kang kawawa. Minsan, naisip mo na o nasabi mo na sa sarili mong. “Punyeta! Ang tanga ko pala talaga. Kaso mahal ko sya eh.” Pero dude naman, umayos ka.

Kapag nagbreak sila nung gf/bf… Party rock anthem ang trip mo sa buhay. Pero hangga’t hindi sila nagbibreak ay Better Than Revenge ang hinithit ng playlist mo. Anak ng pucha dude! Ano yung lalaki/babae, waiting shed? Naghihintay ka lang?

Tengene. Tapos pag nagbreak, todo comfort ka, para lang “S/He is with me even in the darkest days of my life. So therefore, he truly loves me.” ang peg ni girl/boy na cinomfort mo.

Tanga ka ba? Wag mong ipagpilitan ang sarili mo. Magmumukha ka kasing bola… In short, rebound ka lang. Bale! I’m not saying this para maramdaman mong “The blame is on me.” O di kaya ay mag declamation ka ng self composed mong tula na “I, myself against the world.”

Tanga ka rin kung iisipin mong mas sasaya ang babae pag niligawan mo siya kasi unang - una, mararamdaman nya yung awa mo. Punyetang awa yan! Wag ganun. Please lang boys, hindi kayo si Superman na kayang gawin ang lahat. Sa huli, masasaktan kalang at pati sya. At ang huli, ay aasa sya. Naman po! Santisima! Tapos pag namisinterpret nya yung tungkol sa inyo… aruy! HAHAHA

Ang sinasabi ko lang, mahihirapan sya at, mahihirapan ka’t masasaktan rin ala X raised to 999th power.

To sum it up: Wag syunga. Wag pumayag sa bale. Wag ring ipagpilitan ang sarili. Wag idaan sa awa. :3