Edit: due to an issue with google images, all the screenshots have been removed and placed on this google doc. The document contains all the information said with the necessary screenshots.
Ā Ā Ā An important development has come up regarding a personal relationship with M/izzy, @all/nostalgic, a writer which I have had ongoing drama with for nearly five years, three of which have been publicly displayed on the dashboard. This comes up once a year and likewise she was listed in my rules as a user I would not have on my dash; most of my followers and even strangers who passed through would be aware of this. It does relieve me to say we had finally sat down and talked about what happened between us, and thoroughly explained any misconceptions, misunderstandings and misinformation which has been spread and allowed to rot, warp and likewise produce more foulness.
Ā Ā Ā Naturally, it is well known my philosophy is to resolve these things privately unless I am forced or otherwise strongly urged, through morality or necessity, to make things public. With that said, it is important that this mutual resolution is made public, as a lot of things were said on both sides which were ultimately harmful to the other, much of which were not true or likewise an assumed unknown which grew into something which should have never been.
Ā Ā Ā If you are not involved with either of us, this post should be ignored. If you heard anything about our situation from an outside source, previously read either of our many posts about each other or likewise stumbled through either of our rules and formed an immediate, negative connotation on who was being mentioned, this post is for your eyes.
Ā Ā Ā Naturally, due to the large amount of information being covered, this post will be separated by parts, focusing on the most harmful things said. Naturally, the first set of misconconceptions to be addressed would be the allegations that M/izzy created a plot in which her muse would repeatedly sexually assault their mother (@sand/bax).Ā
Ā Ā Ā Iām going to deal with this first, as it is the lengthiest and most glaring portion that naturally has been misinterpreted the most, with clashing and misleading information from multiple sources, events which are years passed and an obvious case of viewers tainting the intent of the author.
Ā Ā Ā I should begin by saying yes, the plot was an ongoing topic for about a year before it was dropped, and I will not open by saying it never happened, and likewise I will not condemn people who choose not to associate with or likewise form a negative opinion of either writer on that merit alone. Rape plots and roleplays are a particularly touchy subject in the rpc, though I will go on record to note that everything I previously said about these two users regarding this plot is not entirely true.
Ā Ā Ā Likewise, I will state the original plot was proposed to M/izzy by her friend initially and she trusted her as yeo consenting adults at the time.
Ā Ā Ā I believe, through what I now understand as myself misremembering details from years ago, that the two of them had written smut with these themes present. The times Iāve personally witnessed these writings, which occurred in ask forms, there was a sexually charged nature, though both writers were admittedly referencing events which had previously taken place. I had previously claimed that M/izzy specifically was sexualizing and romanticizing this taboo ārelationshipā due to the nature of her asks, which appeared, to me, to be smut-asks, though this is a an unfortunate misunderstanding on my part. The intent of the writer wasnāt to prompt a sexual response, nor to sexualize the abuse being mentioned, and likewise it is evident that both writers tried their best to portray this content in as respectful a manner as possible, though to an outside source glancing for mere moments, their intents were clearly taken as something else.
Ā Ā Ā That, combined with the unfortunate time of week these posts were made, alongside the few-but-persistent anonymous messengers who were actually sexualizing and romanticizing this plot, have left an unmistakable notion in my mind which persisted through the years. I take full responsibility for any and all the misinformation I spread regarding this topic as well as apologize for the harmful impact it has made on the minds and reputations of the two involved. I had wrongly believed the parties involved were romanticizing these taboo themes, which directly caused unjust anonymous hate and other unpleasantries their way.
Ā Ā Ā I will end this statement by addressing certain key factors: both writers had previously defended the plot by stating the nuance in the plot: neither muse knew of their relationships with one another and likewise the one perpetuating this violence did not know there was no consent given. I have seen criticisms to these claims stating that the context doesnāt matter as the end result was still the same: there are certain themes you simply do not write about, especially in a roleplay. This is absolutely true, and I will go on record to say both writers completely understand this.Ā
Ā Ā Ā As I am informed, the plot ended three years ago mainly due to anonymous creeps making the plot into something in which it wasnāt, making both writers uncomfortable as a result and causing them to drop the plot. They both mutually agreed this isnāt something they should be writing, and likewise they were not qualified or capable enough to portray this as respectfully as a topic such as this deserved. In the time since they dropped the plot, they have both come, unmistakably, to understand why what they were writing was wrong and likewise none of their reasons for doing so justified it.
Ā Ā Ā You are free to form your own opinions on the topic provided, but I urge you to consider both parties have grown away from this behavior and likewise had no malicious or immoral intent behind it.
XXXĀ Ā XXXĀ Ā XXXĀ Ā XXX
Ā Ā Ā The next topic to be referenced is the allegation that M/izzy was transphobic; that she had repeatedly made out-of-character posts condemning writers who headcanoned their canon muses to be transgender as well as vague posted about writers who did so: particularly a user in a fandom she frequently participates in. Though I used this userās testimonies as proof in its own right, believing their word as-is, it became evident after a call with several old writers from the rpc he was a part of that this fellow is not a particularly reliable source. Likewise, he had a history of stalking people in the fandom and tended to lash out when blocked by people he has made uncomfortable, and likewise would rather quickly shift to using lies when people aggravated him.
It is evident now that Flint simply used my post as a way to put dirt on someone he had a prior grudge on, something which aligns perfectly to his character as I have observed and was described to me numerous times.
Iāll let M/izzy herself speak on this:
[THIS IMAGE IS AVAUILABLE IN THE GOOGLE DOC.]
Ā Ā Ā Ā I happened to take notice of this REPLY to Jayās callout post, by someone the fandom knows as āFlintā.Ā This is a user that has been incredibly toxic in the fandom for many years, and this response shows it all.Ā He made fake accusations that I was transphobic- which again, is UNTRUE -and that I love assault/incest.Ā Again, I have learned the wrongs of incest shipping for ~angst~ and drama~, as I described as above.Ā I do enjoy writing assaultĀ ( I mean, arenāt YOU the one who wrote a villain character?Ā Itās literally unavoidable when you got heroes vs. villains lmao ).Ā He also mentioned I wanted to ātriggerā tag poly.Ā This is true, but not for what he thinks.Ā It wasnāt because it triggered me, but ALL THOSE YEARS AGO poly used to make me feel uncomfortable?Ā But now it doesnāt bug me as I gained knowledge.Ā I should be allowed to feel fine on my dash however, and should not be shamed for requesting anything to be tagged jfc.Ā I had that rule WAY before I even met this person, so it wasnāt personal.Ā Last thing I want to mention, I NEVER VAGUED HIM ONCE MY ENTIRE LIFE.Ā And I am someone to admit when I have vagued.Ā I didnāt even KNOW that his character was trans and gay.Ā I think thatās great representation, why on earth would I vague about something like that?Ā Everyone who actually KNOWS me, instead of making false assumptions and NOT talking to me about itĀ ( which he stated clearly he never spoke to me ONCE ),Ā knows that would be very uncharacteristic of me.Ā I just wanted to respond to this, in case someone took notice of this reply and wanted to see what I had to say about it.Ā Remember, he doesnāt have proof of anything - and neither do I.Ā All you have to do is take our word for it on what happened, but again, I never spoke to this person and only know from what I had observed from afar with his toxic behavior.
Ā Ā Ā Likewise, there was another user who appeared to confirm my claims at first, but also has a personal grudge against M/izzy and simply used my post as a selling point to further their grudge, furling my frustration with false-positives. Once again, I will let M/izzy speak on this individual.
[THIS IMAGE IS AVAUILABLE IN THE GOOGLE DOC.]
Ā Ā Ā Ā Anything this user has to say is invalid because 1) they literally write and ship Clank X Klunk, which is literally incest and 2) despite replying to Jayās post, they made efforts to follow my blogs since this callout, continues to like posts that are directed towards me, stalks me, and even liked my friendās response to Jayās callout.Ā You canāt say one thing and pretend you support everyone.Ā They even confessed to watching what I did even after I blocked them, which is very stalk-ish behavior.Ā This user has been known to send disgusting nsfw anons to me, my friends, and other users in the past.Ā I donāt know if they still do, Iād like to give them the benefit of the doubtā¦ but this was back in 2016.Ā Iām literally just trying to move on, not having someone just put their discredited two cents in where it doesnāt belong.Ā Like, why would you follow me after Jayās callout and like my friendās response and still say stuff like this?Ā Please kindly leave me alone.
Ā Ā Ā Another long-time user in the fandom we mutually participate in, and once again, M/izzyās words do properly align with everything I was told on this individual from outside sources.
Ā Ā Ā Likewise, to finally end the discussion on whether or not she is transphobic, more words from her mouth:
[THIS IMAGE IS AVAUILABLE IN THE GOOGLE DOC.]
Ā Ā Ā Whether or not her venting posts are out of context is irrelevant. The post I observed which showed concrete evidence to her transphobia, as I perceived it, was this post:
[THIS IMAGE IS AVAUILABLE IN THE GOOGLE DOC.]
Ā Ā Ā Given the screenshot above, and the date in which it was made (several years ago), I can safely say that I do not believe M/izzy is currently transphobic, that she has changed and grown over the years and likewise been educated as to these topics. She would defend this post by noting the intent was to discourage the creation of trans muses to fulfill a kink, though a common rebuttal would be she specifically mentions āself representationā in the post. You could debate whether or not this is proof that she held some transphobic thoughts or that she simply had misworded her thoughts horrifically, though this debate is irrelevant considering the person she has grown into today. You may condemn someone for their past words or actions all you want, but whatās important is her intentions, however misinformed or poorly worded, in the past, were never malicious nor did she attempt to harm, harass, or discourage people from representing themselves and their communities. Likewise, it is more important to hold one accountable for past actions than to hold their mistakes over their head forever, especially if they have made effort to and shown tremendous progress in growing and changing into a better person.
Ā Ā Ā Regardless of what was said or how many vindictive third parties manipulated my biases to cement a poorly-evidenced opinion, the fact remains now that I, personally, believe she is better than she was. Whether or not you choose to do so is your right, but I have played my part in clearing the air and making sure any and all rumors being circulated about every participating party contained only true and accurate information.
Ā Ā Ā That last post is the last thing Iāll be posting here. Iām going to be moving to another domain shortly (same url) because this space just feels... Tainted by bad blood and a LOT of bullshit that, upon revisiting, is embarrassing. Iām embarrassed to say all these years of blatant suffering all came from a stacking series of misunderstandings and errors on both sides.
Ā Ā Ā Also I need to redo my tags.
Ā Ā Ā So yeah, in about eight hours, when I get off work, Iāll be moving. Iām going to do a mass refollow when Iām done.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Iāve had this feud with M/izzy @alln/ostalgic for three years now, and we sat down and talked like adults. This is a reminder to the importance of communicating with your partners, because this is a worst-case scenario and continued far longer than it shouldāve. This is a long post, shortened as much as possible while retaining as many large details as possible to make everything as concrete as I can. I will start at the beginning.
Ā Ā Ā 2016, 2017; one of those years, M/izzy and myself started writing together for the first time. We were notably close as far as I could remember, though things were rocky behind the scenes. Anxiety and a fear of being abandoned on one side, a lack of cognizant awareness on the other, a monumental and horrendous lack of communication which couldāve prevented years of distrust and retaliation, as well as a feud which put a noticeable rift between interconnected friend groups. The two of us have, over the course of all these years, done great harm to one another which drastically altered our outlooks: both of us needing and receiving therapy over what happened; the two of us receiving great psychological trauma, with M/izzy receiving an official diagnosis of PTSD and myself abandoning my therapist, who proposed the same, in the middle of a psychiatric test.
Ā Ā Ā It should be noted that neither of us meant to hurt each other in the ways we have, initially, though we both believed, throughout this period which stretched over four years, that we both had it out for one another. Initially, I left the rpc, then came back to (admittedly justified) outraged voices, where I responded calmly. Believing I was being personally attacked after a series of incidents, mostly unrelated, I made an outraged response directed at her, which was met with a calm response on her side. Surprised by seeing her response about a year later, we opened a dialogue for the first time in years and came to a conclusion.
Ā Ā Ā All of this could have been avoided. Every step, save for myself leaving the rpc in shame due to lying about my age four years ago (that couldāve been avoided if I were more decent back then, admittedly), could have been avoided had the two of us sat down and properly opened up a proper dialogue. We finally spoke, five years too late, on discord several days ago: both of us nervous, guarded and having plenty of reasons to distrust each other due to the years of shit weāve put each other through, only to discover, through a much needed dialogue, that we were both wrong about each other.
Ā Ā Ā Nearly every negative thought weāve had about each other turned out to be false, every attack and rebuttal weāve made founded on assumption and every ounce of evidence leading us to believe we were personally attacking each other was either a coincidence, misunderstanding or the likely workings of an outside source. There was no anger between us, only questions and tons of answers, and at the end of the day we found each other to be something strange: decent.
Ā Ā Ā This is ridiculous.
Ā Ā Ā We either have PTSD or enough symptoms to count, and it all couldāve been avoided if we had sat down and talked. Granted we were both idiot teenagers at the time, some (me) for more reasons than others, but the fact remains we could most definitely still be good friends if we had better communication skills.
Ā Ā Ā Itās a plot twist straight out of the type of movie Iād watch once and wish I hadnāt brought the tickets to, and this is an actual event in my life. Both of our lives.
Ā Ā Ā Let this be a lesson in the importance of communicating between partners.Ā
remember when i said altair was stunted? here's an accurate body type and size diff between his canon/main verse height and his "i got tiddy milk" height.
Ā Ā Ā i am a firm believer that people can change, and will always open my arms to those who seek to better themselves so long as their fault isnāt too grievous. as i strive to better myself, and have succeeded in many of my attempts, i will trust both the effort to be greater and progress i perceive in others. it may be naivety on my behalf to do so, and i have been proven wrong in the past, but i firmly believe people are destined to evolve and grow, not stagnate.Ā
Lie down into the soft void. Close your eyes against the world. Do not listen to the storms rising. Breathe your heart song into your body, andā¦ just be. Just be. Against each raging sea.
Helaena C MoonĀ @ http://hapless-hollow.tumblr.com/
(via hapless-hollow)
If he was theĀ āsexiestā alien, Zarina considered herself the divine ethereal creation across the whole galaxy. Not that sheāll say that, instead musing as if she were impressed to hear that.Ā āFascinating. The information I never even needed, but I appreciate the input.ā As she showed him thumbs up with a bright smile, it was obvious theyāre going to fight via sarcasm and extra behavior. Takes one to know one.Ā āActually, you know what? Iāll take your company over an overgrown lizard-looking alien.ā Sheāll take fluff that looks like a mutated plush toy instead of an overgrown snake or lizard. Or a blob like in that old as fuck movie.Ā āSo, any more like you hanging around the galaxy or youāre just that rare of a treasure?ā
āT-That.. is not a valid reason for that to even happenā I thought I explained this before.. terrible.. supernatural things tend to gravitate towards me!ā Is she taking a hammer in his toolbox and ready to throw it? Absolutely.
"It doesn't matter where you are in the universe. Tranquility and turmoil are universal," she shrugs while sipping on some expensive liquor, probably her favorite whiskey while holding a mint cigarette in her other hand, between her index and middle finger. "And I don't enjoy tranquility for too long." With her legs on the table, the woman of her statue cared not about what others thought about her. The current event in question was how to make her next week more entertaining, especially knowing what creatures lurked all around. No one must learn of the ice running through her veins and how each accessory she wore was a limiter from a beast sleeping in its lair. "For now, I'm thinking of how to create enough chaos to satisfy me. Destruction is easy, even a child can start it, but little number of people can create chaos that seeps into the hearts of living. I want something to satisfy me for a week, not just for a day and then get bored. Well, this is too philosophical to discuss right now," she downs the whole glass of whiskey in one go, placing the glass on the table to look at Altair. "What do you do when you're bored, hm? Casino, space travels, getting drunk with your pals, kill some bitch that owed you money? Share some ideas with me, I might adapt one for today's boring, uneventful evening."
im bored and at work so imma post this early but yeah, altair's tongue is stupid long and fans of ki/ss should throw some fur-paint and leather on this fucker and throw him on a guitar.
ššš . Ā Ā š°š”šš ššØšš¬ š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬š š¬š¦šš„š„ š„š¢š¤š Ā ?Ā Ā in most verses, altair smells of the shampoos & soaps he bathes with, specifically designed to give a lasting scent of the mushroom caves on veldin. itās faint & earthen, with a certain spice in the mix, but as a child being in those caves soothed him when he was particularly anxious & he keeps a part of the good bits of home with him at all times. if not scented with shampoo, he could smell of the oils & greases of his workshop, or rarely still, of a battlefield.Ā
ššš . Ā Ā š°š”šš ššØ š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬šāš¬ š”šš§šš¬ šššš„ š„š¢š¤š Ā ?Ā Ā Ā the inner portion of his claws hold paw pads, rough in texture but soothed by hand grease if theyāre particularly clammy. his hands are unabashedly hardy, often times cool to the touch even in intense heat, though when itās cold about they become warmer ā his bodyās natural ability to regulate its temperature in effect. the outermost portions of his hands are covered in fur, often soft to the touch as he often wears gloves & bathes regularly.Ā
ššš . Ā Ā š°š”šš ššØšš¬ š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬š š®š¬š®šš„š„š² ššš š¢š§ š ššš² Ā ?Ā Ā altair isnāt a picky eater, & could eat pretty much anything, though he prefers to eat a few fruits scattered throughout the day ā a fabled luxury of his planet of upbringing. meats, vegetables, & grains make up his meals, though he prefers to eat the bones in his meats. unlike on earth, certain ovens can be programmed to preserve bone marrow when cooking, & he prefers to bite through bone ( or simply eat it ) to get to it. if under extreme circumstance, he may partake in the flesh of his enemies, sentient or not, as there are no stigmas against eating your neighbor so long as they are not in your genetic family ā laws aside, of course.
ššš . Ā Ā ššØšš¬ š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬š š”ššÆš š š šØšØš š¬š¢š§š š¢š§š šÆšØš¢šš Ā ?Ā Ā as i do not use his canon voice claim, altairās more rugged voice is better suited to singing blues, rap, pop & throat music. altair has released a few experimental albums in the past, all to varying degrees of success, & when streaming games to his followers he could often be singing popular songs ā usually upon request. altair loves music, to sing & dance & often surrounds himself with his favorite tunes.
ššš . Ā Ā ššØšš¬ š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬š š”ššÆš šš§š² ššš š”ššš¢šš¬ šØš« š§šš«šÆšØš®š¬ šš¢šš¤š¬ Ā ?Ā Ā altair had a bad habit of getting up & leaving without a word to anyone around him, often due to being forced to, though in his adulthood this is mitigated to random midnight flights & a warning text. as a nervous tic, his ears tend to twitch when annoyed or unnerved, tail standing back when on edge, & teeth bare when upset. due to his childhood traumas, he is prone to lashing out when people mention putting collars on him, calling him theirĀ āpetā or touch his neck in any capacity, & has bitten someoneās arm clean off in his adulthood when they placed their hands on his neck. likewise, he is terrible at opening up to others, finding it easier to just remain quiet about his problems to his closest friends unless his ailment is obvious to them & they prod.Ā
ššš . Ā Ā š°š”šš ššØšš¬ š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬š š®š¬š®šš„š„š² š„šØšØš¤ š„š¢š¤š Ā / Ā š°ššš« Ā ?Ā Ā altair is more often than not seen wearing one of the many colored rags atop his head, color-matched with the rest of his outfits ā cargo shorts or pants, logo-covered shirts or tank tops, jackets with hoodies which are rendered useless due to his hoods. often times, heād walk around without a shirt ā it depends on his mood. altair is proud of his body, scars & all & has no problem showing off his cut physique. youāll almost never see him in a suit or tie, & if he has to get dressed up he will always leave the top few buttons on dress shirts unbuttoned & his tie intentionally undone. though he doesnāt accessorize much, he often wears gloves or a gold chain loosely draped around his neck ā one of the only things, clothes or not, which may touch his neck, as it was reformed from his motherās destroyed jewelry.Ā
ššš . Ā Ā š¢š¬ š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬š ššššššš¢šØš§ššš Ā ? Ā š”šØš° š¦š®šš” Ā ? Ā š”šØš° š¬šØ Ā ?Ā Ā to strangers, altair could be seen as distant in some cases, though heād happily run his mouth regardless. if he gets to know you, however, he is likely to give pats on the shoulders, fist bumps or even the occasional hug. having his trust means he opens up more & engaging more physically with others. truest friends may touch his ears, be open to cuddling & more intimate partners would be shown, first hand, how affectionate he truly isĀ ā romantic partners would often be covered in marks from lips & claw, heād wrap his tail around their arm or leg to show others theyāre his, they may receive nuzzles or kisses or affectionate bites. heās not the best with words, as heās more of a gremlin than a poet, but his body is how he communicates best.Ā
ššš . Ā Ā ššØš®š„š š²šØš® š”ššš« š²šØš®š« š¦š®š¬š š¢š§ šš”š š”šš„š„š°šš² šš«šØš¦ šš§šØšš”šš« š«šØšØš¦ Ā ?Ā Ā though it could be assumed altair is clumsy due to his large feet & larger claws, he has been specially trained in the art of stealth & espionage in his teenage years. he feels most comfortable when unheard, & has used his training to avoid people he doesnāt like.
