explosions of color and light

⋆｡°✩ astray amongst the cosmos ✩°｡⋆ sideblog exploring alterhumanity. 21yo - starkin/spacekin ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚

[astrayling]

Hi~! You can call me harlow 🔭

Welcome to my blog exploring my alterhumanity and newfound identification as otherkin 🌌 I am…

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭✩‧˚ 21 • she/they • starkin/spacekin/alienkin

my interests include birdwatching, music analysis, aurora aksnes, and of course stargazing and astronomy 🪐

let’s be mutuals!!

find me on my mainblog @strangeispowerful

graphics credits: @cafekitsune @metalbody

[oolongforsunlight-deactivated20]

I'm out on a pontoon right now about to watch some fireworks up close. It's nice out here on the water.

Maybe I can try and get some pics to share

[oolongforsunlight-deactivated20]

I know they aren't for everyone, but I just think it's so neat that people came up with this way of creating such explosive marvels. They take those materials and transform it into something to light the sky with colors for people to look up at in awe. Every boom through the atmosphere feels like sharing a synchronized heartbeat with everyone in attendance.

[astrayling]

the second one is especially my favorite… gorgeous gorgeoussss

[spacewonder19]

Uranus, its rings and moons © JWST

[astrayling]

what 'kind' of starkin are you, for lack of a better word? like is it like psychological, a past life, something else?

i'm also starkin, and for me it feels not like a past life, but rather I was supposed to be born as a star in this current life. if that makes snese

I feel a bit like you, anon! I feel like a star fallen to earth, perhaps, though I feel like a starlike human, not fully an amorphous star. I don’t have any memories of a past life, though I do think I was a star in a past life. So I suppose it’s psychological. I’m unfamiliar with a lot of terms in the otherkin community, and also don’t really have a desire to label myself that deeply. 💫

[astrayling]

some pictures i took of fireworks .. 🪐 like beautiful little galaxies ✮⋆˙ ˚★⋆｡˚

[astrayling]

(art by me⭐️)

[peach-and-cherryblossom]

[astrayling]

This is my specific flavor of starkin ⋆｡✩

Image cred: X - X - X X - X - X X - X - X

[astrayling]

But on a more serious note, do you have a set appearance as a spacekin? If so, what did you look like?

ish.

I did a doodle of what I imagined myself to look like during my fever state (feel free to read about that in prev post if you like!). It looked something like this:

It's kind of silly, hehe. I guess this is a more cartoonized version. If I try to think about it critically, it's a lot more abstract. Instead of a cute star-shaped face, it would be an actual orb of glowing, hot light. Kind of like the star people from Howl's Moving Castle:

Hopefully that makes some lick of sense..! Ty for the asks!!

[astrayling]

Hmmmm... thoughts on Worldless? It's a pretty cool yet flashy game that has massive spacekin vibes (Might be biased as I am a fictionkin of one of the characters-)

Especially the protagonists ;)

I haven't heard of it before seeing you post about it, oomf! I should probably check it out, it looks like something up my alley!

[astrayling]

Hi! Fellow spacekin! :)

My question: Are there any experiences you've had before discovering your kintypes that, in hindsight, are clearly related to your alterhumanity? What kind of experiences were those?

-- Loki 🎭

I actually wrote something about this a while ago in a server with some friends!! Let me include it here.

For context, in January I experienced a very high fever that caused me to become delusional and rather upset. While in this fever state, I had the belief that I actually was, indeed, some kind of star fallen to earth or being from somewhere else. This was the first time I'd felt it so very deeply and candidly, while I had had suspicions before (the whole belief didn't come from the fever itself, it existed before). My poor partner was worried sick when I was feverishly asking questions like "who am I?" and responding to the answer with "I can do that..." as if this human person was a role I had been given to play.

I think my specific line of thought was that I was sent to earth as a punishment from some mistake in a past life. That part may have been the fever talking—I have never felt like that before, or felt like that since. Though, I was in deep distress because I felt trapped in a human body at that moment, and felt like I as trapped experiencing the great cruelty that can be showcased by mankind.

I leaned over the bathtub edge and ran the shower freezing cold with my clothes on. I'm sure it didn't help that I was visiting a friend at the time and was in a completely unfamiliar place... I do know though, that this experience felt like a spiritual one, though I am aware it was a fever-fueled delusion of sorts. It has stuck with me and is part of the reason I started to research and pursue information on alterhumanity.

[astrayling]

Send me asks about my alterhumanism!!

I consider myself to be some mix of starkin, spacekin, and alienkin. I always feel like I discover things about myself by answering questions and explaining things aloud. So please, all members of the otherkin/alterhuman community and of all kintypes, ask me some questions!! ✧

[szczurherbacany]

rah

[sidereal-sightings]

do you have any tips on going about pinpointing where in the sky you were from? or what star or kind of star you may have been?

.

Thank you for asking! I'll do my best to break down how I go about figuring this out.

For me, it was vague concepts, followed by research. I think many of us start out rather vague, but I actually thing that the little details about what we can remember are larger clues than we realize.

For example, notable qualities about myself I did know were that I was a part of a long shaped constellation, I was in this Solar System, I had/have a fixation about being wished upon, and that I am only a few hundred million years old. Vague concepts.

Then, I started looking into stars with the data I had gathered about myself, narrowing down possibilities. Think of it like the human game "Guess Who". Take what you know about yourself, look into stars that match the broadest information about yourself, then narrow down your options until you've found what feels right.

And this is, admittedly, a somewhat clinical and straightforward way of going about this. But I cannot stress enough that it also needs to feel right. All of the criteria could match from a research standpoint, but if you get an answer, and you know inside that whatever you found just "isn't you" then it really might not be.

And that is okay. Because you have plenty of time, and there is no rush to these things.

My last note is this: This method works for me personally. My starhood is both spiritual, and scientific. But if figuring out your starhood looks like pointing in the sky, finding the star that pulses in sync with your soul, that also is incredibly valid. Either way, with the utmost sincerity, I hope that this helped, and that you find what you're looking for.

If you have any more questions, my askbox, comments, and DMs are always open :).

Light and mass﹒⊹﹆ֹ

[sidereal-sightings]

Light and mass. It's the phrase in my bio, because it is what I'd consider the epitome of what it is to be a star, in my opinion anyways.

I think it's the thing I admire about them the most. I also think it does stem from a fascination with stellar mortem, as I've been known to wax poetic about that.

And how could I not? To burn to brightly, so incredibly, that you must burn your own mass. The passion of your existence is so great, you must cannibalize yourself in order to accommodate it. Until slowly, then all at once, you die. And yes, the way each star dies relies on factors like size and relative mass and elemental composition. But the fact is, at some point, we all give way to gravity, ending our beautiful displays.

And I am in part excited for mine. Not because. I necessarily want to die. But because to burn bright, at the height of my passion, at the pinnacle of existence, is precisely what I exist to do. To die a star's death is the ultimate testament to a life lived in that exact way.

What a tremendous honor.

[astrayling]

I know for a fact that i am deeply connected to music 🎵

my experience with music is something like this. this is an excerpt from an assignment I wrote a few months ago:

"I feel like music is deeply human and yet beyond us at the same time. When I’m performing, it usually feels like I’m only a vessel, and the music is coming from somewhere else. It feels like magic, and it’s intoxicating. Anxiety, exhaustion, and depression have all altered my ability to “tap into” that source, and this is mainly why it’s become disheartening to sing at times. It’s like I can’t find a way to properly connect to where the music is coming from, outside of myself. I’ve had to relearn how, as life has become demystified and reality has been a hard pill to swallow. I haven’t been able to exist with my head in the clouds like I used to, and put simply, that makes it really hard to be happy. 

In this way, both music and the concept of creating and performing it is very abstract to me. It feels like a gift and part of my perfectionism stems from this. Music feels almost sacred to me, and even spiritual, so I have a drive to “do it right”. Sometimes, it almost feels disrespectful to not treat it seriously or to make mistakes, though I know that that’s all the human part of it. After all, there is no perfect music. It’s all subjective—I try to remind myself of that when I’m hard on myself for making mistakes or not improving. If music were a God, it would probably be more forgiving towards me for my mistakes than I am to myself. 

Singing makes me feel like I’m everything, if I’m doing it right. It makes me feel like I’m not just a person in a body anymore, and reminds me that I’m connected to everything else. When I sing, I feel incredibly connected to nature, and also connected to the universe. I feel like it connects me more to those things than to other people sometimes… though, what I’d really love is to show that feeling to others. If I was bestowed this tool to sing somehow, for some reason, I want to use it to describe things that can’t be described. I want to convey emotions that don’t have words. I want to sing, and for it to sound like what it feels like to float out in the ocean in the middle of nowhere, or to be standing alone under the stars late at night. Feelings that exist, but can’t be captured by words. 

Maybe selfishly, I sing for myself, too. It feels like an escape from being human, which can be exhausting for me sometimes. I want music to teach me to love being human, instead of trying to escape it. I want it to teach me to love reality or at least to accept it. I don’t know if that’s possible—but I want to keep chasing it, even if I get tired of that sometimes."

I'm not sure how music ties into my kintype but i know that it does. perhaps where I'm from, it's a form of communication, or a means for transmission. maybe it's how stars communicate with earth. I've always been very skilled in music, I can pick up any instrument I play... it simply feels like it belongs from somewhere else, but I have the joy and gift to be able to wield it.

I'd really love to hear others' opinions on this matter, or if they also have similar connections to music, or other things... it feels almost as though music for me is a kind of 'special power' of mine, similar to how some divine otherkin may remember celestial powers.

[astrayling]

i wanna talk about feeling alter-human. as in, i still feel human, but not fully so. i deeply love and respect my humanity here but it’s not the full width and breadth of my identity, of my soul. it’s much vaster. for some reason, for whatever reason, i’m here in this human body and i really do love it (a lot of the time. definitely not all of the time). i love the earth and i love all of these beautiful, human things.

but… it’s not all of me. before i was here, before i was this, i was something else. some kind of starlike creature being out in the cosmos somewhere. i don’t know what i did or why. actually, i don’t think i HAD a purpose other than existing, which is why life can be so hard here.

i don’t have memories of another body, or yearn to lose my humanity. except for when i do yearn. and it’s all a tad confusing but mostly, i’m grateful i find happiness here while also embracing who i once was (who i still am)