意識流小說 @astreamofconsciousness - Tumblr Blog

throwaway account for all of my nonsense thoughts

#drama live tweets #commentary #somewhat controversial #truly a stream of consciousness #head the warning of the name

Ever read a fic sooo good you are kinda upset you didn’t get to it when it was completed

#like it hurts to wait #yall write so good #I love you fic writers #you deserve all the good things

The immediate hour on the toilet after a function is always worth the milk tea

#like yes I am lactose #yes I will have 7 milk teas in one day from 7 different locations #yes it will require me to run straight to the bathroom after the function for a 2 hour long sit down where I poop my guys out #yes it will be worth it everytime #I love milk tea #milk in my tea? yes please #no toppings needed just give me the milk

I’m not complaining BUT the way that my life now revolves around my mother 24/7 and that I have at most 1-2 hours to myself a day might kill me

#I’m not complaining #but fuck this caregiver role may kill me #6 months in and it ain’t getting easier

I always need to poop right after I come back from break :(

#literally just had an hour break and then 1 minute before I come back and suddenly my stomach is rumbling #tmi #tw: poop

Yall just hate men

#like I actually do not understand people who hate things just because men are in it?#‘ugh like how do yall even like bg’s’#‘ugh all the bl’s suck how do yall like that’#like why are we lying #it doesn’t make you better just cause you hate boy groups or bl’s #yes valid to hate men but hating things and shitting on people just cause they like things that men are in is so weird

Trying to figure out how I spent $800 in two days

#literally ?#I haven’t even had my paycheck for more than 2 days #and I’m already poor again #paying for everyone but myself #didn’t even really get to enjoy the check before it was robbed from me #why is everything so expensive #tones rant

My mother deciding to make my birthday about her

#she’s making me so angry #I’m so fucking tired #been stuck in this goddamn hospital with her for too long #I desperately need 24hours to my fucking self #I need her to get out of the hospital so I can run away for a day and just breathe #I need to not be responsible for her anymore #And now I’m gonna stop before I say something I can’t take back #care taker #happy birthday to me I guess

I’m having truly the worst time of my life and like while I REALLY want a new job I can’t help but think that my ability to call out so often at my current job is because I have been here for 6months and I won’t have the same flexibility in my new job at the worst time of my life where I need flexibility.

#I need more money #but my mom is also super unpredictable #I’m poor tho #and sick parents mean more money to spend #so like I need this new job #but it also is not as flexible time wise as my current job

I’m having a horrible time and probably made my life 10x complicated by trying to get my schedule fixed at my job knowing I have a job interview on Monday for another job during my current schedules off time 💀

#but I also really needed to fix my schedule #like I couldn’t keep doing split shifts and they have me scheduled for the NEXT TWO WEEKS #who even said this was okay #LIKE NO CONVERSATION NO DISCUSSION JUST HERE SPLIT SHIFTS #like I know there’s a break of 5 hours in between but it might as well be a 24 hour shift #employment problems

My moms making death bed confessions and I’m not suppose to spiral

#I hate brain shit #why must i suffer #I mean I know Allah only gives us what we can bare #I can no longer enjoy Hannibal encephalitis fics

When people ask me how I am and I just have to say I’m fine instead of that I’m having vivid dreams about dying because I’m religious but suicidal and instead of killing myself I’d rather someone just kill me

#dreaming about a hero moment that’s ends up with me in body bag and nobody questions my suicidal ideations #reverting back to pre covid me #cried for the first time since 2020 #I don’t think I’m okay

I’d rather completely close my account then have to deal with setting up a passkey as a mandatory requirement

#passkeys #hate them

And if I kill myself rn

#I’m having the worst time

Realizing I could be in the most shittiest situation possible and I’m STILL gonna take a sky photo

#me snapping sunrise photos while in the hospital caring for my mom #sick

Apparently I’ve become the fuck up kid in adulthood ????

#I have a job #I pay the bills #I am an active family member #I engage with all the kids #I am respectful #????#because I prefer staying in my room and watching dramas instead of being out and about ?#I’m sick #they make me so irritated

Getting called useless because of company policy …… love that

#like I’m sorry but I can’t do that for you #ME EXPLAINING I CANT DO SOMETHING BUT I CAN DO XYZ IS SUDDENLY UNHELPFUL AND WANTING TO GET YOU OFF THE PHONE #I CANT DO IT #customer service #some of yall need help #GO TOUCH GRASS

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