I long so much to make beautiful things

[whelvenwings]

Absolutely amazing how AO3 is a part of the internet that doesn't sneak in any ads and doesn't have an algorithm and doesn't watch you or record how much time you spend looking at each fic or whatever. It's just right there to use for free. Legend

[i-lavabean]

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’

[text id: my fist has always been clenched around the handle of an invisible suitcase. / i am always ready to leave. / there is not a single room in this world where i belong.]

[im-on-your-side-always]

[fiumedivita]

ABE TELLING MIDGE HE'S PROUD OF HER, PLEASE I DIED

[selena-soto]

[arcusxx]

[funnytwittertweets]

[funnytwittertweets]

[songofthevorpal]

When your lesbian mums come to bail you out of prison after you were wrongly charged with murder, and they start to lecture you about the need of making friends:

[autie-j]

Reads a fanfic: that was good, I'll leave a kudos

AO3: You have already left kudos here

Me:

[soracities]

David Whyte in conversation with Krista Tippett, On Being [transcript in ALT]

[magentagalaxies]

i love you singers whose vocals sound desperate i love you musicians who sound like if you don’t get this song out you’re going to explode i love you songs that sound like they’re dragging the vocalist with them 80 miles per hour down the highway tied to the back of a truck i love you voice cracks in emotional songs i love you unique voices i love you music that disturbs the comfortable and comforts the disturbed

[inkskinned]

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

[pinkmoon888]

just remembered this poem and SCRAMBLED to find it. one of my faves ever

[kitschycritter]

Though the jokes that “since gay pride month is over, july is now gay wrath month” are funny and all, it’s important to remember that July is ACTUALLY Disability Pride Month and ya’ll should really be focused on boosting disabled voices and issues this month! For instance, the fact that marriage equality doesn’t actually truly exist in the United States for disabled people, or the fact that disabled people are forced to live in poverty or lose their disability benefits, or the fact that 1 in 5 people with chronic pain end up sufferring from alcoholism or other addictions, or how accessibility is still a daily battle for all of us, or how there are active hate groups on places like reddit who try to “call out” those they see as “faking” their disabilities.

This July, boost disabled voices. Talk about the issues that our community faces. Call out ableism.

[watchingwisteria]