How to act confidant when really youโre an anxious wreck:
Suggest things. Especially things that benefit you! If you want to go to a restaurant, offer it up. If you would rather fill the dishwasher then clean the bathroom, say so! Donโt worry about it actually getting chosen, but if it does, win for you.
Instead of asking first, ask last. So instead of โcould you please go clean the kitchen?โ Ask โI need the kitchen cleaned. Will you do it please?โ
Find your boundaries and enforce them. Use excuses but donโt go in depth, especially when it comes to jobs. If you donโt want to work an extra shift, just say โsorry, I canโtโ and donโt elaborate. If they ask, give them an extremely simple excuse, โitโs a family matterโ or โI have an appointmentโ or โI have plansโ.
Think โmurderโ and walk. Straight back, shoulders square, walk like you have somewhere to be. If you get turned around, just keep doing the same. People wonโt notice so long as you donโt drop the act. If youโre going through a crowd, do all that but Also lead with your shoulder. People move out your way.
Be polite, but firm. As in, mind your manners and be aware of other peopleโs feelings, but walk away or say no (with your chest) if people arenโt listening. Walking away from a conversation is a powerful tool. Use it as needed.
It helps to see fake-confidant you and real you as different characters. Real you puts on fake-confident you like an actor steps into a role. Hide behind the mask and remember that the only people who will know youโre not actually this confident are people who see you more than once a week. Strangers will never guess. Fake it till you make it.
Do your best to talk at a relaxed pace - if you feel yourself talking faster and it isnโt because youโre happy or excited, take a moment, have a breath, and make yourself talk a little slower if you can. Enunciate as much as possible. It helps you seem calmer and more in control.
