For My Entertainment

Let me entertain myself through this blog, and in turn, let me entertain you.

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

Make a promise to live an extraordinary life and your area could get its own #TFIOS bench. http://goo.gl/2iwBVv #TFIOSLittleInfinity

[napred-deactivated20190311]

I didn’t feel like I was in my own body; my body was just a lonely, temporary container I happened to be borrowing.

Haruki Murakami, from South of the Border, West of the Sun (Alfred A. Knopf, 1999)

[4gifs]

Trying to get homework done. [via mrorangeguy]

[subtubitles]

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

I imagine this is the reaction people have when I tell them I am genderqueer

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

Genderqueer

Why are gender terminologies so confusing? I can't figure out what I am, so I'm just going with genderqueer for now.

[kundalini27]

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

Wardrobe

Something lacking in my wardrobe is band t-shirts. This is a damn shame, but I have no money to remedy this situation at the moment.

If I had the money, though, this is what I would buy:

1 Andrew Jackson Jihad Crew Sweatshirt → http://ajjstore.bigcartel.com/product/crew-sweatshirt

1 La Dispute Script T-Shirt → http://hellomerch.com/collections/la-dispute/products/ld-script-t-shirt

1 Streetlight Manifesto "Trumpet Bear" T-Shirt → http://www.riscstore.com/collections/streetlight-manifesto/products/streetlight-manifesto-trumpet-bear-t-shirt

1 Gorillaz Blue Silhouette T-Shirt→ http://gorillaz.fanfire.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Store.woa/wa/product?sourceCode=GORWEB&sku=GOR53411

1 Arctic Monkeys T-Shirt→ http://www.redbubble.com/people/delightedpeople/works/10745488-arctic-monkeys-favourite-worst-nightmare?body_color=asphalt&p=t-shirt&print_location=front&ref=shop_grid&style=mens

1 Mountain Goats T-Shirt→ http://themountaingoats.kungfustore.com/products/3462-girls-red-print-listen-t-shirt-tmg30-g

1 The Vandals T-Shirt→ http://kungfurecords.bigcartel.com/product/the-vandals-machine-gun-tee

1 DEVO T-Shirt→ http://www.swag-inc.com/shop/devo/logo-obsesso-2012-womens-tour-tee.html?options=cart

1 Descendents T-Shirt→ http://www.kingsroadmerch.com/descendents/view/?id=1821&cid=835

1 Beastie Boys Tank Top→ http://www.etsy.com/listing/110256108/beastie-boys-check-your-head-handprint

1 Dead Kennedys T-Shirt→ http://www.interpunk.com/item.cfm?Item=101486&

[seabois]

It seems I’ve stopped speaking with my voice. Part of me fell asleep and just watches.

Fernando Pessoa (via apoetreflects)

[rewelcomed]

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

All my best friends are guys and are taken

I am so glad that all my best friends have girlfriends and I have no one left to complain to.....

[apoetreflects]

I tell [her] I am untethered, a balloon that can drift at any moment, traceless, into space, and that this is my loneliness.

David Swanger, from “Alone,” in Wayne’s College of Beauty (BkMk Press, 2006)

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

2am Social

The most pure and honest conversations I have had always happen around 2 am. This is why I wait patiently all day for the stillness and silence so I can experience the raw words which leave an individual’s mouth at this vulnerable hour. Yet, every night I seem to find that people rather hide in their beds at this time than expose their dreams to me.

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

Dear guy wearing the “Court of Owls” mask,

DUUUDDEEEE, NICE ONE! Where the hell did you get the mask? I am so jealous. Why aren’t we friends?? I freaking love Batman. I dressed as The Penguin this year for Halloween as an hommage to Batman comics. I tried explaining Mr. Cobblepot’s unfortunate past, but no one really understood. I wonder how many people you had to explain your costume to? I eventually gave up and said I was a funky magician. I wish I knew more comic book nerds. I wouldn’t be so limited in my comic spectrum of I had more than one person to borrow (I don’t even know if I can borrow comics anymore…) from. I really do enjoy Batman comics. I especially enjoyed the “Death of the Family” series. I really want the collection for Christmas, but I don’t want to burden anyone into buying it for me. I miss having someone who would read comics with me—you know, instead of ignoring the fact that I am even around. I really want to finish Uncanny X-Force and catch up on The Wake, and Deadpool, and everything Batman related… Court of Owls guy, will you read comics with me and talk about the art and share facts I didn’t know about the heroes and artists and writers? I miss having someone share their passion with me readily. Yes, comic books are a passion. I am just so passionless at the moment that finding a friend with a passion is what I need—not only someone with a passion, but someone so ecstatic to share it at any moment of the day. I think that’s what I need.

Best, Auds

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

Random Musings

It's funny how little I notice about myself, and how I have changed, when I return to a familiar place. For one thing, I have become more restless. The time within the walls of my house do not satisfy me nor entertain me as they used to--yet since my time is brief at this place, I adhere to the stillness of the house and its bland borders. It's sad to me how a TV can provide so much relief to my family. I wish they could go out and experience the world themselves rather than seeing it funneled through a box (from the skewed viewpoint of others). I don't know how I coped with simply being on the computer all day... I find myself looking for something new in such an old place. With my the majority of my friends gone, I can't look to them for new adventures--so instead I turned to befriend a guitar and see where this venture brings me. Probably nowhere... I taught myself 4 chords, but now it's too late to practice anymore... I'll most likely forget them in the morning.

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

I embrace memories like a hug, holding them tight, feeling their warmth--but the more I hold them, the more awkward and strangling they become.

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

Unfortunately, distance is a commonality my best friends now share.

[asumergenceintomyconscience]

Each strong vertebrae you think I have grown is now revealed to be made of paper clips and chewing gum.