Keep your claws off

[twistedappletree]

my kind’s your kind,

i’ll stay the same.

[aswarm0fbees]

Wait

[deepseabeasty]

“I’ll let you sleep on my side of the bed girl”

[xxthis-is-a-wastelandxx]

Spirit desire

Spend my time

Tell me that you're always going to be my life

I'm not bored at all

You can call me when you want to call

[melissaduck]

I am in the process of curating a playlist listing all the different songs referenced in the online browser RPG Kingdom of Loathing. It is still an incomplete list, but there's well over 300 songs by now. Check it out on Spotify!

[aswarm0fbees]

Lmao just realized all these posts are accidentally on this blog and not the password protected one unsure how much I care to fix it

[artemiss-ss4]

[rebirthofartemis]

[deadbranch]

First you get hurt

Then you feel sorry

[healingjuice]

[aswarm0fbees]

That said, following up on my other post - life isn’t meaningless. Obviously there are people finding immense happiness and meaning. It is my life, specifically, that feels meaningless and empty. I have been so incredibly emotionally and off the deep end but at least I’m feeling something

[aswarm0fbees]

I checked out more of Colby’s gday stuff and it’s really cool. It looks like he found the perfect community to work, live and and thrive in. It was really nice seeing some pics of him he looks happy.

[aswarm0fbees]

hahahaha wowee it’s the weekend again life is meaningless

[aswarm0fbees]

I am actually legit mad depressed. I did some cool things last year like learning to pack raft and the trip with Natan. But it’s so fetching grey scale now and like does not matter or bring me any joy.

Ya know how much I loved that scripture - you may have sorrow now but I will see you again, and you’ll have joy no man can take from you - that’s real tough. I shared that with Colby, it’s on the Christmas cards I made from my baptism with him, our relationship brought me so much spiritual joy. It’s real real real hard to see any joy coming or to appreciate that scripture now.

AAAAAAAAAA please God give me DNKAs I am a fetching mess

[aswarm0fbees]

Anxiety? I mean like I’ve been super depressed and a little suicidal but the anxiety is new ugh

I feel really lost. I don’t feel like there is anything to live for, because the things in life that I was excited to live for and the life I thought I was going to have when I was married is gone. It feels like what’s the point? To work and change the bed sheets each week and fill out PDPs and scrape by and try to save up for what?

The things that I love about life; chey, my husband, oh man crying at work again, eating yummy food, going on new hikes, ??? It feels very empty alone. I was looking at the pics of us having dinner in the dome after goat yoga nooo dude COs need to stop checking in tbc

[aswarm0fbees]

Well he was super cool about that at least that went over way better than I thought dang lmao I wish we could’ve talked openly and chill like that when we dated

Very intrigued to see what happens when I pray now hopefully please something else I did the thing sweet Jesus

[aswarm0fbees]

This feels like exposure therapy, where you have to do weird embarrassing things and sit with the cringe. If that was Gods intent couldn’t he have told me to do something silly vs like THAT

[aswarm0fbees]

Gross just sent the most cringe message of my life that I did not want to send but I’m trying to do promptings and whatever the worst that can come of it is memes made of me that I will never see right it would honestly be a blessing if he never messages back the cringe and embarrassment is so high