A Synonym For Loneliness

[asynonymforloneliness]

It’s all so exhausting

[asynonymforloneliness]

Art: @roseshrubs

[mournfulroses]

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume 2: 1934-1939

[asynonymforloneliness]

Every gift I was ever given was squandered on me. I have made nothing of them. I should have been born as stupid and unaware as the beasts of the field.

What percentage of my one wild and precious life has been spent in simply enduring? How long did I need to be kept at the end of a short rope before I didn’t need the rope anymore and I simply sat still, afraid of moving too far in any direction, remembering the choke, the struggle, and the eventual defeat?

I spend every day in simply waiting for it to end, stepping into yesterday’s footsteps, living the same empty day, then closing my eyes and awaking to an identical horror. These are the good days, the ones I’ll miss when things are worse.

[asynonymforloneliness]

I want to pull all my skin off. I want to tear my way out of my body and disintegrate into nothing.

[asynonymforloneliness]

[asynonymforloneliness]

[asynonymforloneliness]

There is nothing in the future that I wish to see or take part in.

[asynonymforloneliness]

If hell exists it is surely just one long conversation with my husband about what we’re going to eat. It never ends, we never eat, he keeps falling asleep.

[asynonymforloneliness]

To live is to lose.

[asynonymforloneliness]

More things keep happening. I specifically asked for the opposite of this what the fuck

[asynonymforloneliness]

There’s too much going on at once. This is too much. Im so exhausted.

[asynonymforloneliness]

[asynonymforloneliness]

I don’t understand why so many people aspire to live long enough to die in pain. Natural death is ugly and it’s cruel. It makes you do half your decaying while you’re still alive and makes you beg for it in the end. Why does anyone want this?

[paper-wounds]

[inkpressedpetals]

[mournfulroses]

Savannah Brown, from a poem titled "Unmute me unmute me unmute me!," featured in Closer Baby Closer: Poems