2026…
Going into this year, I just wanted to enjoy it. We’ve had a few years of massive goal setting, achieving and working damn hard. I want to enjoy what we have created and earned this year. Enjoy our home through the seasons, spend more time together without a to do list, enjoy time with our friends and families.
And this is all still the case but I have been fighting an inward battle with myself since my niece was born nearing four years ago. And that’s the wish to have a baby of my own. We appear to be surrounded by children now. Okay, that might be slightly extreme. But I have some primal ache within when I’m around children in my family circle. My niece is three and a half, what an angel, every time I’m around her I ache for a daughter of my own. Our friends have a one year old son, an angel! Makes me want a son. And now Liv is having her baby in May, and my god I just want one.
But I know that is not what the first half of this year holds for us. I genuinely do want to just pause and enjoy what we have. We have a few house goals, sure, we’d like the drive done, we’d like to redo our bedroom and make it a spa like haven, maybe the garden could use some TLC. But nothing massive. We have some exciting things this year, two concerts, both our mums 60th birthdays, maybe a staycation in the mix. I want to enjoy it. But I also cannot dull the ache.
But I can’t fall pregnant on the pill, so I have made the massive jump after nearly 8 years of the pill to come off. This is supported by Bob. And my reasoning is I have wanted to come off the pill for about two years, I have had symptoms, itchy skin, low libido, and moods flattened. I don’t feel any highs or low lows, I’m just meh. And I want to find all this again. I think knowledge of women’s bodies and cycles is so much wider now then when I was a teen, the different stages, how I may think or feel within them even down to how we perceive ourselves at different points in our cycles, I just want that. I want some explanation, being able to link how I think or feel to my cycle. I am on day 5 and I must admit, it is harder than I thought coming off. I have had aches and cramps, front and back, headaches, nausea, dizziness the lot and it’s hard. But I’m hoping to come out the other end soon.
I think we have agreed for now that we will let Liv have her baby and then reassess. So we can have our concerts, our staycation, celebrate the birthdays and enjoy the new seasons. Bob can go self employed and my body can settle into its natural rhythm and then come summer we can think about how we feel, and if we want to let nature take its course.
Who knows, there could be a baby bump in the picture come Christmas ‘27. But we will see.
In the mean time I’m going to give myself grace, enjoy becoming me again and see where 2026 takes me.











