All The Memes

Mostly PJO stuff and memes

[kaity--did]

Absolutely love how emotionally aware my child is for a 4 and a half year old do not however love stubbing my toe on the island for the 100th time today and hearing "hey mama it's okay to cry! It's not okay to throw a fit though, and we hafta re-...we have to reconitize the difference"

[kaity--did]

When I immediately say "oh no thanks" to a food she offers me she says "oh mommy, chefs try new foods. Can you take one , two, bites for me and if you really don't like it then I won't ask forever again deal?"

like you know what fine sure I'll try your truly heinous concoction because I do in fact hafta respect the deals

[kaiserouo]

pov you see something alive after being alone for 40 years

[charlesoberonn]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[asphor]

I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day

[charlesoberonn]

The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.

[asphor]

Yeah that checks out.

What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.

Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.

[charlesoberonn]

While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.

Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.

Painter: Aw...

Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔

[charlesoberonn]

Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?

Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.

Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.

Candysseia: And where did he come from?

Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?

Pericles: *hands him papyrus*

Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!

[charlesoberonn]

To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.

Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).

[ghostinthebathroom]

I had a dream about Columbo at a drag show. This is what came from it.

[somewhere-south-of-neutral]

I'm waiting for him to explain to me how his newfound love of drag allowed him to prove I killed my business partner

[hail-dondus]

Finding out Hans Zimmer is a transphobe genuinely had me falling to my knees

[cartoonistfreak101]

Thank you blastybaku for explaining this!/gen

[poetry-protest-pornography]

If you've ever heard a movie score and thought "holy shit, this is incredible", there's like, a 50% chance it was Hans Zimmer who composed it.

This is a pretty major letdown, ngl.

Anyways, fuck transphobes, which includes Hans Zimmer, apparently.

[excessively-english-jd]

Anyway shoutout to John Williams, amazing composer and probably the one who made the other 50% of "holy shit amazing" soundtracks (Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Superman, and incidentally the original Harry Potter theme and score) who famously worked closely with the first openly transgender woman to be nominated for an Academy Award, Angela Morley. He respected her, and so far as I can see, has never made transphobic remarks.

[rimonoroni2]

my general opinion on what people should be "allowed" to portray and what topics they should be "allowed" to explore in fiction is that you can make whatever art with whatever themes you want but i'm also allowed to think the way you handled it was tasteless and should've been done differently. my negative opinion on your handling of sensitive topics is the price of admission for publicly showcasing your work. this is not a pro-censorship stance because i am not The Government

[smokeydabear420422]

[viking369]

And no, I'm not being intolerant, you're being a shitwit.

[liberalsarecool]

Bring back the OEO. Adjust the minimum wage. Restore American greatness.

[creekfiend]

do you ever have an experience where you can immediately tell that someone is someone else's Least Favorite Coworker. like. last year when I was going thru the TSA on my way to visit Ship, I was in a wheelchair bc I always get the wheelchair service, masked up, bc I'm always masked up, and the TSA guy asked me what my visible monitor was, so I was like "it's a heart monitor" and he immediately rolled his eyes and in the most dismissive voice went "but you don't really NEED it, do you"

and when I tell you. the SPEED WITH WHICH one of his coworkers made herself appear next to me and just, placed herself between me and this guy and said "ok honey you just come over here with me" and did the rest of my security check herself without once even glancing at or acknowledging this man 😂😂😂 thank you ma'am. I hope your bad coworker gets fired soon

[athenafire2000]

When exiting the struggle bus, please remember to say thank you to the bus driver :)

[liberalsarecool]

What are the odds?

[depsidase]

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[momoboyds]

10 non-fiction books you should read

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women White Feminists Forgot (2020) by Mikki Kendall

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism (2018) by Robin DiAngelo

Assata: An Autobiography (1988) by Assata Shakur

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race (2017) by Reni Eddo Lodge

White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color (2019) by Ruby Hamad

Freedom Is a Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine and the Foundations of a Movement (2015) by Angela Davis

I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness (2018) by Austin Channing Brown

Misogynoir Transformed: Black Women's Digital Resistance (2021) by Moya Bailey

Stokely Speaks: From Black Power to Pan-Africanism (1971) by Stokely Carmichael aka Kwame Ture

The Assassination of Fred Hampton: How the FBI and Chicago Police Murdered a Black Panther (2009) by Jeffrey Haas

i would recommend using libgen or going to your local library if purchasing these books aren’t an option for you. remember knowledge is power. happy reading!

[minusboy]

a neutral reminder that while being a hater can be a fun indulgence you can never find long term happiness by spending your time constantly hating on things and you can’t make long term friends if the only thing you have in common is something you both dislike; you need to love and be passionate about things. being petty gets old. you need to be a lover too

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet. 

he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years. 

Icon. 

[lesmiserableslove]

don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him

[histry-buff-deactivated20170618]

Hey quick question what the fuck

[urulokid]

the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is

[butchious]

victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years

[no-one-offical]

‎

[only-tiktoks]

[kawree]

Y'all for real please do these. Even if you're certain your posture doesn't suck. One day you will wake up with impinged shoulder pain like I did and let me tell you it fucking HURTS. Do these exercises even just once a week and it will make such a difference. Especially my fellow creatives out there, stop shrimping over your work and go do these right now. RIGHT NOW.