the most interesting characters, to me at least, strive for an ideal, a principle to be aimed at. i want to see what they do at all costs to achieve what they want, especially their sacrifices.
gâraha tia is one such character. his goal is saving the source. his ideal is keeping everyone he loves safe, and free from a tragic end. and to meet these expectations, he went far to fulfill them.
he established an entire city state, and supported it as a leader.
he fought off the post-apocalyptic horrors of the first with myriad of creations and magics from the crystal tower.
he became immortal and had a trade off with the crystal tower, but at a great cost. he not only sacrificed his mortality and ability to travel, but also essentially the remaining time of his life. he acknowledges openly that the crystals on his body would one day consume him.
he built himself a new identity, adapting to the role of the crystal exarch and burrowing who he was before deep inside him where no one can see.
he did these things, over the course of 100 years, non-stop.
urianger himself says that he could hardly believe the crystal exarch has managed this long, and that this was a miracle in itâs own right.Â
but, as epic and ideal the end results of these actions may be, i canât help but see them as a tragedy as well. gâraha tia didnât exactly have a choice in the matter, it was either him or a chance at saving the entire world. the choice was obvious. but even then, itâs incredibly cruel to place the entire weight of the world on one singular man, and place him as responsible for this grand undertaking of a mission. but gâraha tia accepted it, because he couldnât bear to let those dear to him meet a tragic end.
i think, deep down, the crystal exarch is a broken man whoâs close to losing himself. he is the wise, grand, clever leader of the crystarium, but heâs also a man whoâs carried one of the heaviest burdens to bear for 100 years straight. he only ever wanted to become a hero, but the kind of savior heâs become is far from what he ever truly wanted.Â
but there are things that keep him going. despite everything, heâs pushed forward by the thoughts of seeing the warrior of light again, the people he loved alive again and the people heâs saved and helped in the crystarium. i like to think gâraha tia had doubts and struggled to accept his fate at first. but, eventually, he came to accepting it. once he realized just how much suffering will ease thanks to his efforts, he is quick to swallow down the pins and needles of his own death and suffering, all for the sake of those he loved.
gâraha tia knows at the end of this road, he will die. but he will make sure he will die happy.
i have reason to believe one of shadowbringersâ main themes is fatalism vs. existentialism. eulmore & vauthry represents the former, while the crystarium & the crystal exarch represents the latter.
the fight between these two ideals, narratively, reaches itâs peak and conclusion after the WOL faces vauthry in the innocence trial. but i believe that the more interesting parts of this conflict lies in itâs foundation and build-up. our introductions to the respective cities, and the meeting between vauthry and the exarch.
eulmore vs. the crystarium.
when we are (very smoothly) introduced to the crystarium, weâre immediately given a clear impression of what kind of city we landed into. this is a post-apocalyptic safe haven. here, everyone works together to keep that title. in the face of the horrible tragedy of the flood of light, the people of the crystarium banded together to keep this little corner of life alive, even if it takes some hard work. katliss makes a point of this herself, when you first talk to her. you can get what you need, but in return, youâll have to work for it.Â
life isnât easy in the crystarium but, thereâs little choice in the matter. yet, even then, it doesnât seem like people suffer or beat themselves up to just survive in the crystarium. the honest hard work everyone puts into feels so genuine, within every resident of the crystarium lies a resolve to survive in a world completely ruthless to them.
they represent the existentialist thought. the world of the first is cruel, and one could say it renders all lives meaningless. it has become a blank and dying world, where sin-eaters rule, and men suffer. yet, at the face of a world that seems so pointless, the residents of crystarium continue to create meaning in their lives.Â
eulmore is the complete opposite of the crystarium. it consists of people who have grown complacent, lazy and cruel-- relying on those they deem âbeneath themâ to serve them. this already draws a sharp contrast with the values of the crystarium, wherein you have to put honest hard work to attain what you want. in eulmore, itâs given to people on a silver platter, because they value hedonism above all things.
this hedonism is drawn from the eulmore residentsâ clear fatalism.
the eulmore residents have long accepted the world is approaching itâs end, and the only thing left to do is to make merry and drown in pleasure. they have thrown away both the past and future, and choose to live in the present, not working a day to a better tomorrow, nor honoring those who have fallen in the past.
(not to mention, the obvious hostility the crystarium residents have for the eulmore residents, having insulted them numerous times, itâs already a very obvious impression to the player that these two cities are at a conflict even past the metaphorical.)
the eulmore residents have resigned to their fate, and see no meaning in their lives anymore. the crystarium residents fight for the morrow, and strive to create meaning in their lives.Â
vauthry vs. the crystal exarch
i believe that vauthry and the crystal exarch are foils of each other. how they rule, their ideals-- everything, sharply contrast one another, just like the very city states they rule. they also represent fatalism and existentialism in their purest form.
vauthry is an âall-giving godâ that can be commonly found in extreme fatalist beliefs. in eulmore and gate town, the people have completely lost their own agency, stopped thinking, and leave it all up to vauthry (or those serving vauthry) to do the thinking for them.
this is taken to an almost very literal extent, wherein vauthry feeds eulmore residents and khoulsia residents âmeolâ to completely hypnotize them and bring them under his control.Â
the people of eulmore do not seek meaning in their lives anymore, but banal and simple desires for meaningless pleasure, all thanks to vauthryâs stance as an all-giving god that provides for them and hypnotizes them to his whims.
the exarch is the culmination of the existentialist beliefs of the people who survived the 8th umbral calamity, the crystarium people and himself.
both the post-calamity source and pre-crystarium side of norvrandt suffered from an apocalyptic hellscape with a lack of true, coherent civilization. but, the exarch had become a âsymbol of hope and meaningâ to both of them.
in the case of post-calamity source, the exarch was a âsymbol of hope and meaningâ due to the fact he was their only hope of restoring the source to itâs former glory. he, possessing the power of the crystal tower, can help mend the first and therefore save the source.Â
in the case of the first, the exarch was a âsymbol of hope and meaningâ because he was the one that gave the gentle push to the people to create the crystarium. he is the one who, as much as he dislikes putting this way, ârules itâ and guides the people to a better tomorrow. without him, their efforts would be much harder than usual, and because of him, he helps create meaning in peopleâs lives without taking away their agency.
in the case of the exarch himself, or rather, in this paragraph, âgâraha tiaâ, gâraha himself was awoken to a world without meaning. he struggles with this, but eventually wins out because he creates his meaning for himself: he wants to save the warrior of light and the world. in a world so absurd and cruel, he decides for himself what he wants and works towards it, if not for a lack of choice, but for the sake of his own sanity as well.
these two extremely different characters clash hard upon meeting each other, and itâs very fascinating.
at the start of the conversation, the crystal exarch asks a valid question, and vauthry reinforces fatalism. he calls himself a âgodâ, and emphasizes on his determinedness to provide the people the mindless pleasure they want. he considers himself separate from his people, and views them like animals to herd, not as individuals. he is âtheir godâ providing them âsanctuaryâ. sanctuary being a world with no meaning, and only power to him.
while you could say he has a point in regards to spending the last few remaining days happy and blissful, this point of his is conflicted by various inhumanities he commits.
forcibly hypnotizing people and feeding them meol, that makes them more susceptible to it
preying on those who are suffering in gate town, seeing them as expendables who can be invited into eulmore for a short time as servants, and then turned into sin-eaters and meol afterwards.
the complete lack of regard for his peopleâs agency, and basically just treating them like pets.
while it IS true that it was basically impossible and completely difficult to save norvrandt in any way, the fact he enables the sin-eaters (the very beings that terrorize and kill people) without any regard for those who have suffered at their hands is... disturbing.
he has a very âhm, makes sense.â sort of goal, but the things he does and the things he say to reinforce that goal are absolutely disgusting. he has no faith in his people, and only in himself.
the exarch responds to his speech with a clever quip, and then a counter.
whereas vauthry flaunts his complete lack of faith in people, the exarch expresses his belief in them. vauthry sees the people as mindless animals to be herded before they hurt themselves, but the exarch sees them as individuals and people to be given guidance and true sanctuary-- a better tomorrow.
vauthry protests. he claims that people only live in the present, and do not care about the future. after all, why work hard for a tomorrow youâll never see? but, again the exarch counters. because heâs fully aware, and has seen himself, the kinds of people whoâd work towards a tomorrow theyâd never see.
the exarch is the living proof of the existentialist ideals of those of the source and the first. the people who desire a better tomorrow, the people who desire meaning in their lives, and meaning in their childrenâs lives, and in their childrenâs childrenâs lives.
he refuses to take away, or disrespect, the agency of people, and acknowledges vauthryâs ideals for what they are-- gilded chains.Â
and with a smile, the exarch re-affirms his stance, for he believes in those who those who dare to dream of meaning in a meaningless world.
shadowbringers is a story that confronts many themes, and i believe one of these is what it means to live in a world that doesnât care about you. and seeing it confidently defend the decision to continue living, to strive for meaning for yourself, instead of succumbing to fatalism-- is hopeful and heart-warming.
one of my absolute favorite scenes in heavensward, and in the entire game itself.
characters being unfair or overtly emotional can make one eye-roll, but i opt to think of these moments as an incredible high for them. it shows them at their core, their performative outer layers shaved off to reveal whatâs underneath.
thancred, up until the end of ARR, is known as the flirtatious and joking rogue of the scions. however, his silly, almost dorky moments in arr are sharply contrasted with the man he later becomes. hardened by surviving in the forests by himself, losing his ability to manipulate aether, and becoming distraught about losing his adoptive daughter... many things happen to him, and he takes on a very gritty, rugged appearance and demeanor. itâs a fascinating gap. but whatâs even more fascinating is the result of this all.
this cutscene presents two situations.
emmanellain, who is suffering the consequences of his actions, seeing his beloved servant beat up and bruised because of his earlier mistake. he takes his anger out on the people of ishgard, claiming it all fell to pieces because of them
thancred, who is suffering from much loss. the most prominent one being losing minfilia, the girl he felt responsible for and helped raise. he is at a loss, and feels incredible pent-up bitterness about what couldnât be helped.
emmanellain throws a tantrum, blaming everyone but himself for what happened. itâs a point of frustration, to the point the WOL tried to punch emmanellain himself. but, is stopped by thancred, who seemed to be taking on a more âbigger personâ approach. he gives emmanellain honest advice, but is promptly punched. and, worst of all, emmanellain makes a claim that thancred knows nothing about consequences. that he is sure of everything, that every single one of his actions are celebrated.
this clashes terribly with thancred, considering the tragedy that made itself known to him, and he punches emmanellain. he gives him a harsh scolding, clearly alluding to his own struggles due to emmanellainâs unfair claims, and walks away.
the âconflictâ here is a point of interest for me. these are two characters who went through separate instances of tragic events, and became emotionally sensitive because of it. they lash out at each other in a fit of anger. the intersection of the separate tragedies of ishgardâs attempts at celebration failing, and minfiliaâs âdeathâ, falls to a single, amazingly presented argument. itâs an amazing scene that ties together two separate, now inter-mingled, arcs and an incredible character moment for thancred.
i read an article on how someone, while going through FFXIVâČs story, discovered a new favorite character in stormblood. a pirate who ferries you to hingashi.
this article reminded me of one of the reasons i love FFXIVs story so much: the callbacks to side NPCs. a few of these i can remember is the ala mhigo plot in ARR, and itâs connection to one of the NPCs in stormblood. the widowed maiden appearing in the dark knight story quest. the NPCs who helped you out in ARR, like riol, still working hard behind the scenes to assist you even in current story. the NPCs sticking around and fooling around in the rising stones, like hoary boulder and coutlenet, being addressed in canon and appearing in the background.
details... is something very subtle, but can be essential to writing an incredible story. most would deem it unnecessary to put this much effort into characters most people might not even remember, but i beg to differ. i think this sort of thing greatly benefits a story like FFXIVâs, where youâre in the position of this worldâs savior. if you donât like the world youâre saving, if itâs bland and deserted and contains nothing but little low-effort âobligatory NPCsâ, then itâd make for a pretty bland story, right?
but in FFXIV, the world is vivid. astoundingly so, especially in regards to the NPCs. i love talking to every single one of them as much as possible, since they reveal so many neat bits and pieces of the world.
thancredâs role in the heavensward patch quests is fun and refreshing. his character shines most, as a level-headed and jaded rogue, whoâs entirely unrelated to the dragonsong war. he, as a third-party, can recognize just how heavily the people begin to rely on the wol, and criticizes it. and, compared to the very... foreign and high-headed ishgardians, his very grounded input on things is refreshing and even relieving to see. he feels much like home in a place unknown.
The path you've chosen is paved with the dead. Walk it with your eyes open, or not at all.
one of my absolute, favorite exchanges in the game so far. this is one of those moments that remind me that FFXIV is a game with an ultimately very grim, post-apocalyptic setting. while itâs fantastical areas and humor can deter one from thinking of it as such, FFXIV takes place in a world where the people are afraid, where struggles are never-ending, and death, or a fate even worse than it, is lurking about in any corner at the hands of garleans or primals. to desire bettering a world like this, is to ask for a lot, and to sacrifice a lot.
minfilia, the leader of the scions, recognized this, and sacrificed herself for the salvation of so many. itâs an incredibly dark and sudden âdeathâ, but regardless, a necessary one to her.
i enjoy it when stories take this sort of turn. lofty, high ideals, as cathartic they are to follow, mean nothing in the face of reality. when shattered so brutally, the characters are forced to accept the consequences of their ideals, and fall into despair... but, what comes with mistakes, is wisdom.
matoyaâs words are harsh, but they are, at heart, this: advice. she means to open their eyes. she criticized their goals, and their reactions to what it takes to truly realize them, but she gives them an option. to walk this path, paved with the dead, with their eyes open... or not at all.
but the answer is clear, isnât it? it came from minfilia herself. they have to keep moving. the path is cruelly long, and their goals may feel out of reach, but they canât afford to stop now. so these deaths could have meaning, so their goals can be achieved... for those they have lost, and for those they can yet save.
estinien and alphinaudâs brotherly relationship is one of the most interesting, and heart-string-tugging, part of ffxiv for me. how they play off of each other shows off their individual characters and pasts well. theyâre fun to watch.
alphinaud comes from a background of being put on a pedestal, heâs always been deemed capable of âmoreâ. as the grandson of louisoix leveilleur, there had always been high expectations on him, which he had seem to meet. diplomacy, arcane arts, and more, heâs well more than just âcapableâ of it and exceeds spectacularly for his age. because of his background, he is often not treated as a child, but as a âskilled and talented individual capable of many thingsâ. thus, leads to why he had been given so much power in ARR. he of course earned it with his own strengths, but at the same time, one canât help but feel bothered by the fact so many adults rely on one teenager, no matter how talented and skilled he is.
this is one of the many things that inevitably leads to his fall in ARR. he had hardly the experience and wealth of knowledge his grandfather accumulated, to follow in his footsteps so fast and attempt to forge a group on his own unaware of the true depths of the hearts of eorzeans was a mistake.
this leads to his character development, wherein he recognizes his surroundings have changed drastically, and that heâs no longer viewed the same way he was in sharlayan. in eorzea, he may be a respected grandson of a hero, but he was still a teenager in an unknown world with a lot to learn.Â
this becomes obvious in heavensward, and most importantly, with his interactions with estinien.
estinien has an incredibly rough background in comparison to alphinaud. heâs gone through incredible hardships, losing his family to the dragons, being consumed with revenge and braving through tough times and dragon attacks solely to avenge his parents and younger brother... he did not come from a prestigious lineage, nor was he surrounded by older peers showering him in praise. his life has only been nothing but hard, which has molded him into the stoic and blunt individual he is now.
so, upon meeting alphinaud, totally unaware of his lineage, totally unaware of his capabilities, he sees him as he is: a child with a lot on his shoulders.
as opposed to a lot of the adult characters in arr who become a little too dependent on alphinaud due to his reputation, estinien treats him... âcautiouslyâ. while heâs incredibly blunt, and even rude, his intentions are kind. he praises his talent, sees his potential as a commander, and acknowledges he mightâve pricked alphinaudâs pride-- but also acknowledges that if he had not been more forceful, alphinaud wouldâve insisted on coming to a dangerous trip. he acknowledges that alphinaud coming to the aery is dangerous, and is looking out for him so he doesnât get hurt.
itâs absolutely refreshing to see this. as someone who grew very concerned over alphinaudâs wellbeing throughout arr, seeing a character actually recognize just how dangerous things can become for him if he takes on these burdens too far, itâs relieving.
but, there is an underlying reason for this. while one could say estinien is simply acting out of kindness and the usual humane compassion one would have, estinien also had a younger brother who died in nidhoggâs attack. he sees that younger brother in alphinaud, and grew to care for him and poke fun at him here and there. and, even, looking out for him and making sure heâs safe, so the same thing doesnât happen twice.
itâs an incredibly sweet, heart-tugging revelation. estinien has been introduced to the narrative as a brusque, rough man, but writing out a âsofterâ side to him like this serves to endear the audience to the man really well. and his development, due to growing to care for alphinaud and his comrades after remaining so solitary, ultimately saved estinien.
after growing to care for another individual, and not just simply pursuing of the safety of masses, alphinaud grows. he recognizes his true goals. before, he followed lofty ideals in pursuit of becoming like his grandfather, but after going through his journey in heavensward, learning to care for ysayle, haurchefant and estinien, then losing all three, he realizes something-- more than anything else, he wants to protect those he loves, so he does not lose them ever again. estinienâs transformation makes him realize this.
ultimately, we are led to the final battle of heavensward. where, with the help of the memories of haurchefant and ysayle, the wol and alphinaud succeed in saving estinien, and alphinaud follows through on his new ideals. estinien was integral to alphinaudâs development as a character, and falling, then being saved, helps alphinaud realize what he truly wants to do.
theyâre incredibly interesting, and iâm so excited to see more of them. with the new incoming revelations, and hardships, alphinaud may face, i want to see how he grows, and how estinien helps him grow, and how estinien may possibly grow as well. in the end, they help and support each other, and fill in the gaps the other could not. theyâre brothers.
(as of writing, i have not completed the entirety of nier: replicant. where i am at now is early route C.)
the first thought i had, upon watching this scene, was ânier has come so farâ. but this isnât in a positive light, nor a negative light.
it just puts into perspective how much heâs been through for me. at the start of this game, he was but a simple kid who just wants the best for his sister. his entire world was running errands and helping his small village out. but, ever since the shadowlord had come into his life, his world grew to become very complex.
defeating shades, vengeance, gathering pieces, the lives of people in his handsâ his world was still intact, but it kept expanding, perhaps far beyond the scope he preferred, which is why he reacted so simply to it. he assumed that all he needed to do was keep killing shades. his world changed, but his way of thinking and methods did not. it was as simple as running an errand, but the depth behind this âerrandâ knew no bounds. he told himself and emil to ânot look backâ, but something like killing at this rate was not something so simple to just ignore that way.
alas, this isnât enough. his world expanded to a point he couldnât comprehend it anymore, when the very pillars holding it up began to collapse. popola and devola, who were like parents to him, thought of him as a tool, and he nearly or actually killed them. the very shades he sought to eliminate, were all former humans. and, his own friends, emil and the prince, both lost their lives because he strung them along with his own motivations.
the truth of his world, and the consequences of his actions, collapsed on him. and the still, simple kid in him broke. he is on the brink of tears, unable to move forward, his knees giving way to him falling onto the floor broken.
it took kaine quite literally punching and kicking him to get him going... to tell him to keep moving, because heâs already come this far, and there was no going back, even if he wished so. because nier committed to not looking back, so he canât afford to start mulling over the trail of blood he left behind now.
these excerpts are stuck in my head for various reasons:
nier going âwho cares?â and going ahead and hurting the shade. a clear sentiment of how he feels about shades now and how heâs changed so much for the past 5 years into someone blinded with vengeance and not thinking twice when it comes to killing another being for the sake of his goals
the tree going crazy upon making contact with nier, because his emotions in regards to his goal are just THAT strong. heâs cultivated so much hatred, determination and love all in one go that this tree that has gathered so much memories is struck by his emotion
(as of writing, i have not completed the entirety of nier: replicant. where i am at now is route B post-louise fight.)
one of the most fascinating and surprising things about nier: replicant for me is the emphasis on the world and itâs people.
side quests, vendors, weapon shops, transporters-- these are all familiar, but ultimately shallow. words and terms for a regular rpg player. these things are just things made to ease the player, whether itâs free exp or making your character stronger, all these are are tools. you donât think twice about them. theyâre but little, miniscule additions to the world theyâre from.
but in nier: replicant, iâd say the side quests, and by extension, all these helper NPCs, are one of the most special and important part of the game to truly understand it. through interacting with the world of nier: replicant, you get a glimpse of the populace and their efforts to survive in a dreary world. thereâs really little npcs out there, all hanging out in the same area usually, so itâs easy to remember whoâs who. the mutton lady, the parcel-having guard, the fish-loving man, etc. one of the most prominent examples, of course, is the ferryman.
in most stories like this, you only see a glimpse of the post-apocalyptic world through the main characters and their struggles. you get their in-depth, tragic backstory, lost wife or lost child, etc etc, and feel pain for them. but in this case, you only ever feel pain for the character, not the world itself.
the ferryman serves as one of the most obvious (and story-relevant) ways to dig in the loss nier experiences. he and his wife acting as one of the biggest comedy relief in act one, then being part of the heartwarming, silly quest from him in act two-- the mundaneness of his worries and silliness feel charming and a sort of light in the incredibly dark and dreary world. even nier recognizes that.
but, unfortunately, the ferryman dies. and nier mourns him, in pain. and, need i remind you, this guy is just a quest-giver and a ferryman. in any other game, a ferryman would normally mean nothing to the regular rpg player aside from being a tool to bring them back and forth, but here in this game, the protagonist himself explicitly mourns and feels saddened by his death.
and the ferryman isnât the only npc that invokes emotion in you either. thereâs the lighthouse lady, the postman, the flower shop owner, the guard whose daughter passes away-- all these people. when yoko taro writes their pain, he does not write it off as a miniscule addition to the story meant to fill in the blanks, when he writes pain, no matter how small, no matter how irrelevant of a character itâs from, itâs gut-wrenching.
in nier: replicant, you can tell the world is aching. itâs not just one character whoâs lost a loved one. itâs many, many people around you. and it doesnât end there either, sometimes you have to break the news to someone their beloved is dead.
i firmly believe that, to truly understand nier: replicant, you need to do side quests. without the context, you canât truly grasp the depth of loss nier experiences through the timeskip and how, this world, already on itâs last legs, managed to fall even further.
brother nier in relation to the events of the aerie and junkheap
(as of writing, i have not completed the entirety of nier: replicant. where i am at now is around the beginning-middle end of the storyline before the first ending.)
brother nier is an interesting protagonist so far, and shows signs of the classic tragic hero. in a well-meaning attempt to accomplish a good-natured goal (to cure his sisterâs illness), he ends up walking a much bloodier and darker path than he intended. nierâs âtimeskipâ very much emphasizes this, showing us nier in his purer days as a youth as opposed to his currently revenge-addled and unstable self.
the thing is with nier is that, while heâs certainly a kind-hearted person who helps those in need, everyone is all but secondary to the âfew people he loves mostâ. this, of course, is obviously yonah, but this also extends to kaine, weiss and emil. he fixates on these people, and in certain points in the story, faces little hesitation in regards to sacrificing other people for them. itâs an incredibly interesting contradiction in his demeanor... but the consequences of sort of thing requires intense writing to be able to portray âproperlyâ and âgut-wrenchinglyâ.Â
of course, leave it up to no other than yoko taro to be able to portray nierâs contradiction wonderfully. there are two instances in the story that highlight this.
the fall of the aerie:
here, nierâs âfixationâ on saving âthe few people he lovesâ becomes very, very apparent. in this point of the story, he, in his quest to defeat shades, basically obliterates an entire village of people.
the aerie, in the story, was not very welcoming or âloveableâ of an area as opposed to the others. itâs loss, while not heavy on the heart, still makes an impact. it was the village with the most tightly-knit âcharacterâ, i feel. facade, seafront and nierâs village all have varieties of people, but aerie was the one with the incredibly rude shut-ins. and this was consistent between all the villagers. as frustrating as they were, itâs not like they deserved to die... is probably the thought that comes to mind.
now, as for nier himself:
Emil: I killed innocent people. I killed them all.
Nier: But you saved us.
the scene at the end of the aerieâs fall tells it all. emil, heartbroken, and maybe the audience perspective, is mourning the loss of villager lives. heâs in agony and, even if you canât see a human expression, you can tell with his wavering voice he deeply regrets what he did. this is shown in contrast to nier, whoâs expression changes little. heâs only focused on comforting the distressed emil, and seemingly doesnât feel much in regards to the lost lives.
in fact, he says something incredibly cold, and telling, of what he thinks of what took place, and where heâs heading from now on.
Nier: Really. Donât look back.
nier kills, and kills, and kills, and doesnât look back. he thinks, he doesnât need to, he has to keep looking forward, he needs to keep his eyes on yonah and her whereabouts. if not, she might slip away, therefore, he canât afford to look back.
but what if he did look back? what will he see? a trail of blood and corpses, all of his own making? would he feel anything, anything at all upon seeing such a thing?
gideonâs revenge:
the first thing we are shown in this section of the story is jakobâs demise, and gideonâs change. the boy lost both his mother and brother to the junk heap, and weâre shown him teetering on madness in regards to his fixation with revenge. he wants the robot responsible for his brotherâs death dead at all costs, working on forging weapons for years in an attempt to make a sword that can bring it down.
Gideon: I need to ask you for a favor.
Nier: Oh yeah?
Gideon: I want you to avenge my brother!
Grimoire Weiss: Thatâs a rather ponderous mission.
Gideon: Itâs my mission! Itâs the whole reason Iâve been creating these weapons for the past four years.
Gideon: I donât care about money! I only care about making a weapon strong enough to kill those bastards!
sounds familiar? well, iâd think thatâs the intention. gideonâs state and his vengeance is an obvious allusion to nierâs own quest for yonah. while sheâs (probably) not dead, he is going on his own personal cruel rampage for it. having done the forest of myth quest before this one, the allusions just feel even more obvious.
Weiss: It spoke! This Shade has intelligence! And emotion!
Nier: Who cares?
Nier brushes Weiss' comment aside has his sword sliced through the Shade's right arm.
both nier and gideon expressed they donât care, not as long as they can accomplish their goal. theyâre both full of rage over the loss of their own sibling, and seem to teeter on madness in their own quests... but.
Gideon: You stupid machine! You killed my family! You took everything from me!
Nier: Hey, come on. Thatâs enough.
Gideon: Aaah ha ha! I did it! Now that this goddamn thing is dead, I can forage wherever I want!
Gideon: Just wait, you goddamn freak! Now I can make all KINDS of powerful weapons!
Gideon: Just leave it to me! Leave it all to me! HA HA HA HA HA! AAAH HA HA HA HAAAAAH!
Nier: Look, we get it, okay? Really...
this scene does invoke a sense of âwow, this reminds me of what nier is like when heâs killing shadesâ, but whatâs surprising... is how nier reacts. heâs disturbed. in jakob, he starts to see himself, and feels an inch of hesitation in his actions and what heâs become. for a moment, heâs tempted to not look forward, but to look back.
Grimoire Weiss: Hatred and Madness will never heal a wounded heart.
Nier: Maybe itâs just all that heâs capable of right now.
Grimoire Weiss: Revenge is a foolâs errand.Â
Nier: ...Yeah. I know.
when he says, âmaybe itâs just all that heâs capable of nowâ, you can tell nier feels a sense of empathy for the poor boy. he understands. nier, who had spent five years hunting shades for his lost sister, can see himself in the boy who spent four years forging swords to avenge his brother. and, another thing he sees, is a distorted image of himself. a broken revenge-hungry madman, someone he hesitates to become, but is well on the path to becoming to. recognizing this terrifies him.
the aerie and jakobâ what do these two tell of nierâs mental landscape?
he, despite seemingly being a kind helpful person, has a tendency to over-prioritize those much closer to him. this was on a smaller level when he was younger, but it only developed and became worse throughout the timeskip. itâs gotten bad enough that he can close his eyes and look away from an entire village he killed, but he isnât so far off yet. a smidge of his former self still remains, and that self is afraid upon seeing what gideon had become. gideon represents what nier may become once his former self fully disappears. and, to nier, to become a broken revenge-hungry madman, is something even he feels troubled thinking about... but for yonah, heâs willing to do anything, right? so will he take a moment to look back, or keep looking forward?
you know i was thinking this but if the outer godâs power within bam extends to his charisma which extends to being able to influence people to revolve around him in some way (hating him) (loving him) (following him) (etc), rachel is definitely immune to it
i talked about it before but itâs eerie how âbam-centeredâ everything and everyone becomes as soon as bam comes to light. where ever he goes everything warps around him, positively or negatively. peopleâs intentions and goals start to involve him, and before you know it, everything is about him. but rachel gives off a feeling that sheâs like⊠immune to it somehow. bam sweeps everyone off their feet, sure, but rachel never budges. while bam is definitely someone sheâs focused on in some way, her goals lie in the stars and not him.
unlike other people, she doesnât seek to follow him to the ends of the tower, adore him more than anything else, or seek to kill him no matter what. to her, heâs secondary, and the stars primary. she continuously stays steady and tenacious in every storm bam brings with him. which is kind of refreshing? in a way? i love bam as much as the next person but, and this is not a story criticism iâm pretty sure itâs on purpose, the way everyoneâs thoughts begin to center around bam can get very disturbing. but rachel not being affected by that is a relief
bam subconsciously sees himself as nothing like other people, a danger to others and a monster. he spent years in fug being told heâs a god. regulars gossip about him and mutter about how heâs a relentless killer. test administrators set up skewed tests to get him killed. the woman who was his entire world who dedicated herself to taking care of him and teaching him tried to kill him. his friendsâ lives were put in danger to force him into becoming a flawless slayer candidate.
all these experiences wore down his mind for 6+ years and he became withdrawn and prone to self-isolation. granted, it lessened post-jvg, but remnants of it definitely remain. while bam desperately wants to be with people, he also distances himself because he sees himself as a possible walking threat to their lives after experiencing exclusion for years, seeing himself as human has become hard. but seeing himself as a god, a tool or someone made to be hated is easier to slide into.
but he has a double-sided relationship with this. while itâs easier, it doesnât mean itâs not painful. heâs grown used to it but, again, he doesnât want to be alone. he wants to keep people by his side, but he didnât want to have to distance himself this much to feel like they wonât be in danger. but still, after everythingâs that happened, after how much bloodshed has followed him, could he really consider himself someone deserving of friends? and what happens now, if the person whoâs closest and most dearest to him, someone heâs scared of losing more than anything else in the world, tells him, âisnât it better being human?â
imo i feel like bam is constantly fearful that khun will get hurt because of him and this drives his personal wedge between him and khun. with everything thatâs happened to his friends, and the kind of âbeingâ people tells him he is, whatâd happen to someone so important to him..
this leans heavily into immediate post-jvg perspective, but i always feel invested in the idea that bam considers his s1 self nearly separate from his self in early s2 because of how much heâs changed. that the âbamâ his friends want to be with is different from the âbamâ that exists now. and he worries that heâs changed too much for khun. heâs no longer the starry-eyed, innocent kid in the first floor. rather, heâs a horrible monster and might get khun killed by simply existing. would khun still accept him, even as a monster?
i feel like bam would have that kind of questions haunt him like crazy. but the thing is, khun never really saw him as a monster. iâd opt that he doesnât think heâs 100% human either, but thatâs fine by him. bam is bam to him, and always will be, no matter how much heâs changed and thatâs just⊠what really hits hard. bam has spent so much of his life misunderstood and hated, and khun does his best to understand and support him.
i feel like on some level this scares bam a little and makes him wonder if khun sticking around like this really is okay and whether or not he might be put into extreme peril danger because of him. but iâd like to think bam doesnât distance khun as much as he distance other people. and that this distance might gradually get smaller
i feel like bam is still in agony over trying to figure out his true nature, but the pain isnât as bad as it could be because khun has faith in him. and that, maybe even if he turns into the most terrible, horrible monster in the tower, khun will still be by his side.
i feel like bamâs ability to express love (conventionally at least) is kind of fucked from the very beginning since his upbringing was the way it was. he doesnât have the same sort of experience and outlook on people like others would, and he wouldnât know how to act in regards to them
referencing what a friend said in an analysis about bam, âbam doesnât know how to love beyond being in a life of death situation where he has to fight for them.â itâs sadly very accurate when you consider how he proved his care and love for his friends for 6 years was to keep fighting and killing for fug so theyâd stay safeÂ
then when you factor that in w/ the fact heâs got little-to-no exposure to how to care for other people cuz of his upbringing⊠you get this guy whoâs got no idea how to really show his care for people. it only starts to become obvious when you see how hard he fights for them. but despite not being familiar w conventionally loving he definitely cares about people. (kind of) (maybe to an unhealthy degree)Â
referencing the cave again but bam got used to putting âxâ above all others, himself and his wellbeing. this happened because he got used to his world revolving around rachel. this is pretty much summed up in the quote âi have something that i fear more than death"Â
what he fears is losing 'x'Â
he is willing to sacrifice his wellbeing to keep that 'xâ intactÂ
reflection of his fear of lonelinessÂ
to elaborate more on 3, itâs because 'xâ is always a person or a group of people. in s1, it was rachel. in s2, it was his friends overall but mainly khun and rak and s1 crew. he cares so much about people that he literally regards them more important than his life but itâs important to note this isnât something completely selfless on his part. heâs just trying to ward away his loneliness because loneliness is painful for him. in a way, heâs protecting others because he wants to protect himself.
onto the next point which i swear is connected to my tangent, bam forms a sort of tunnel vision on this 'xâ where he starts to not care about the other people around him as long as he could fulfill protecting 'xâ. not as a result of cruelty but thatâs just how his brain works. i said 'xâ was rachel in s1, 'xâ was khun, rak and s1 crew in s2. i think the discussion here is based around s3 so iâm gonna theorize the current line up of 'xâ in terms of priority is this. probablyÂ
1: khun, jinsung, hwaryun
2: rak
5: other friends
10: other people
okay so to finally connect fully back, i think i can conclude that bamâs "loveâ is sort of hard to define because some of it is an output of him trying to ward off his loneliness and THEN thereâs the ambiguity of how bam perceives anything because of his lack of exposure to people. but his love IS real and it DOES exist and itâs not a 100% selfish thing where heâs just trying to protect himself because thereâs definite proof (and current development) wherein he protects people and cares for them simply because he does. also his lack of exposure to people makes him clumsy in terms of expressing it. but you can definitely see it in how he fights for people. (see: end of workshop battle him going ape shit nuts trying to protect hwaryun) (see: end of data arc him going ape shit nuts attacking rachel because of what she did to khun) (see: the entirety of s3 so far and his attempts to save jinsung)
BUT now, how can this be related to bamâs relationship to khun? well. my examples do prove the fact that khun isnât an exception. kind of. khunâs âloveâ so far is complete 100% devotion to just bam, but bam definitely has a set group of people he loves in mind that heâd die for. the top people on that tier list is definitely khun, jinsung, hwaryun and rak (according to what iâve picked up anyways) but like. now it comes down to the question âis khun a LITTLE higher on this tier list, just a smidge, or a lot, compared to jinsung and hwaryun?â
well i wanna say yes but trying to compare the gravity between âfighting off super strong fug guy when he may die any second now for hwaryunâ vs âliterally threatening to kill the woman his life revolved around because she messed w khunâ vs âstarting a war for jinsungâ makes my head spin. but if we consider 'amount of time spent w/ characterâ and all and other small gestures i DO think khun edges a wee bit further than hwaryun and jinsung. but is bam aware of this and the weight of this importance? probably not no
iâm still a hardliner on the idea bam does not register romance/nor think about it often. but anyways i do think the mental tier list gets muddled in his head a bit and itâs not as strict as i make it out to be itâs really just like a Group Of People He Cares About A Lot. khunâs likelihood on being on top of bamâs list is high though and khunâs tier list of whoâs important to him probably goes like â1: bam 10: whoever keeps bam alive 100: everyone elseâ so. well. in conclusion.
bamâs perception of love is weird
bamâs ability to express love is limited
bam definitely loves people though and cares about them and his favorite (note: only) way of expressing that is fighting to the death for them
the contrast between bam and wangnanâs possible future roles in the towerâs revolution (the one thatâll pave the path for change and future king) is so interesting. itâs such a big highlight of bamâs uniqueness as a protagonist and also emphasis on his running theme of being a âdestructive forceâ
whatâs so fascinating about bam is that we were led to believe heâs some sort of hero of the tower or a revolutionary do-gooder who will lead everyone to greater heights, but the more about him is revealed to us, the more we realize that isnât quite right. thereâs huge lore-hints dropped on us that bam is more âmonsterâ than âheroâ. his own mother calls him a monster, and rachel, who knows more about bam than anyone, even says that heâs a monster born to curse the tower and devour everything
and not even just fate-wise, bam himself has very little makings of a true hero. i already elaborated on this here extensively but whereas protagonists usually do âgoodâ because they desire to be âgoodâ, bam does âgoodâ because it falls in line with his interests to keep people around him so he isnât alone. heâll save dear friends of his, not because itâs the ârightâ thing to do, but because he doesnât want to experience the loneliness he endured in the cave again.
also, bam has lesser ability to sympathize with people than wangnan. a huge part of bamâs character is his upbringing
isolated in a cave with no one
having his entire world revolve around the only person who visited him from the very beginning his ability to really care about people is immensely skewed to be in favor of a few people (or for the longest time, in season 1, one person)
and this affects how much he really cares about the people around him. he subconsciously has a mental list of people he cares about most and as soon as youâre out of the higher tiers he would not care about you (although he does try to deny this and commits great acts of good will but itâs more out of obligation to stick to a certain standard he discovers exists and unwillingness to become alike to his incredibly cruel adversaries such as white)
but this is a GREAT contrast with wangnan who, while having uncommon origins, seems to be much much more closer to people than bam and, in contrast to bam, has a much more normal life. heâs a lot more approachable and easily understood than bam, and this ties into his inherent charisma and also another point i want to make: the fact he feels super bad about all the people who died while he was climbing that he befriended.
i feel like, if bam were in his place, with the kind of mentality he had, he would feel bad for a bit but it wouldnât really haunt him because his goals/people he actually cares about > other people but wangnan still feels super guilty about all those people that he blocked his memories of them out just to be able to keep going. heâs a really kind person.
(which makes a really really interesting contrast with bam in his jyu viole grace phase but i will think about that later)
the contrast between bam and wangnan are suuuuuper interesting and i wanna see what direction siu will take with it from now on especially with that mysterious dagger that totally isnât meant for killing bam or anything (or is it)
