blindspot

[atrix007]

Resume.and.everything else.

I am scared. In my mind i have rehearsed all possible things to do, Plans to accomplish, Dreams to make come true. I am scared, typing my name in a blank sheet. Followed by several facts about my life summarized in 1 1/2 pages of formal truth. No love life included in any form. I am scared knowing i'd be away from family love once more. I am scared losing time supposedly for my loved ones, and giving it to other people instead. I am scared,never really settling for the thought of knowing what to do, and what to do next. I am scared living alone, instead of being able to stay in your arms for the night before another duty day comes. Please dont stay away from me. I need you badly. I am not rushing at all. i am just needing you more.and more. I told you once that i am contented. But what if it is you who will go looking for something i dont have? I dont know.i hope not.

[atrix007]

September 21,2016

We made it! Together, we achieved one of the most important milestone in our lives. I love you Chabi! I owe my sanity to you! And we both owe our lives to Him. Thank you Lord, Thank you for letting me see my mom cry and jump for joy! It’s a pure bliss. Thank you! To all the saints and souls I have bothered and called upon, We have been greatly guided, thank you!!!

[atrix007]

2daystogo

They kept saying,"just relax" But i can't. O.o

[atrix007]

7days to go. *Butterflies*

[atrix007]

10 days to go

"No matter what happens, let it be. Be physically and mentally prepared for the outcome. If things don't turn out well, accept it, And never blame anything, or anyone, not even yourself. I believe in destiny, in the right time. Just do it, and don't think of doing this for anything or for anyone. Just do it, and pray." -Daddy -(few weeks earlier and similarly said) Abing

[atrix007]

Yes Love, It did not rain.

Yesterday, i kept telling him that it always rain on June 28th. After a sudden heavy downpour on midday of june 27th, he told me that he would not want that day anymore. But He prayed, that it won’t rain. And yes, love, it didn’t. And it was a special day. Because after all the “storms” that we’ve been through for the past months, i can still hold you, hug you, love you. And I pray that though it rains, We will still seek comfort in each other’s warmth.

[atrix007]

I cried hard as you throw away those memories we have. One by one you sent them to trash. You left not a single one. Only to find out, you made room for more.

[atrix007]

Sunflower in the moonlight

Promise me, love, No matter how time changes us, You will still be my sunflower. This moonlit room is ours, The music dances with us, This moment is simply perfect.

[atrix007]

CS. Not fun anymore.

"Who are you?" She asked herself. Are you becoming someone else? Or are you simply letting all out whatever you hid behind that happy face. I see more disappointments. More unreasonable anger. What happened to you? Do you really want this to go on like this, growing a little more..bitch. Are you simply tired? Well. Yes, exhausted. Now, go to sleep. And dont let bad things ruin your rest day.

[atrix007]

You are so full of life! I adore your strength, your wisdom, your child-like innocence. You are a mentor, a friend, a colleague. Clerkship would not be so much fun without you. I will constantly pray for you, and will always remember your laughters. You are a fighter,and we will fight with you, JHF.

[atrix007]

The walk

I saw myself on that spot. Standing, afraid to make a move. Getting more nervous, i guess. The bells ding donged and the people gasps. I walked the red carpet, for what seemed like a mile. I stopped at midway as i calm myself down. You're at the other end waiting, anticipating, and i wish i brought my camera to capture that unusual expression of yours. Few steps more, and you're hands were getting ready to hold mine. You paused to shake hands with him,oh wait, that's my dad,then you hugged my mom. I held my breath as your parents did the same. You gestured me to take one step more. And i felt my hands shaking as i took yours. You kissed my forehead and i found myself smiling that giddy smile once more. The ding dong of huge bells stopped and The next moments were all memorable.

[atrix007]

I love it when you..

<we were discussing a simple matter then ended up with this> You: sa apartment ka umuwi Mamamya ha! Me: ok, Sige, e di sa apartment ako uuwi! You: ugh, d mo ako mahal! Me: whaaaaat? 😂

[atrix007]

There are some stuffs that need reassuring and comfort. Some issues not fixed by arguing or so. Some things need patience to discuss, in a more mature manner. And sometimes. I wish. I hadn't spoken instead. Leave it to rot in my memory, and let the shameful moment be forgotten. Damn it. Yeah. My fault. Always mine. Pft.

[atrix007]

Something's needed to be written.

I love you. With all this craziness and stuffs. I love you. And I adore how much we love each other. You, you you! You feel it too! :*

[atrix007]

One of the firsts

I tried a stick. First puff, and i distaste it. Second puff, and I try to convince myself I'll like it. The third goes, and I found myself adoring that glitch of fire, that ember. Another puff and the smoke smother my core. This is not me, but this is a part of him. I took one long puff and that fucking menthol hurts my soul. This is not me. But this is a part of him, even before our story begins. I watch intently as the remainder turns to ashes. The Smoke hurts my chest, smothering me with last night's argument. Till I can't take it any longer. I drowned the ashes and the filter, convincing myself that I have killed that glitch of fire, the one I adored. Convincing myself that I will understand you more. Pushing myself to support you everyday, and not hurt you. A stick to open my mind. I cry in surrender. I love you. I'm sorry.

[atrix007]

Happy hearts!

Come home dearest, I miss you, and I miss you more because you can make me this happy even when you're still a few days away.. We never really celebrated valentines, not on the exact feb 14 day, but we have our own ways to make it more meaningful. And that's what makes everything a whole lot special. I love you, Abing. *Happy hearts!*

[atrix007]

stick-o

i ate the last piece. 

never wanting to buy another until you come home.

so many things to do with so little time.

so many hours apart, and yet you're the closest to mine.