A True Neutral

[atrueneutral]

My Writing:

Baldur's Gate 3 - (Raphael x Tav) He Will Be All She Knows: Body, mind, and soul.

The day Raphael began plotting his revenge was the same day he discovered Tav naked in his bed. Blood in the Wine:

Historical AU involving a monk and a (devilish) priest.

O, Apple of His Eye:

My Raphael x Tav prompt collection. Includes what’s posted on this blog.

Prompts and Requests

My inbox is always open for prompts and requests. Please know that I do have a backlog, and I can't promise to get to all of the requests in between writing my current focus of 'Blood in the Wine', but don't let that deter you from sending something in!

Items of note:

Inspiration drives what prompts I fill.

I'm open for smut under the caveat that the situation is interesting to write.

Ships I'm open to writing:

Baldur's Gate 3:

Raphael x Tav

Thanks for taking an interest in my writing!

Oh! For those of you who anonymously leave comments in my inbox for these prompts - thank you! I probably won't respond to them unless a specific question was asked, but know I read and appreciate them!

ABOUT ME

I’m a wry goof ball. Please don’t take anything I say too seriously as I speak in a tongue-in-cheek fashion. If I speak in all caps, I’m just being dramatic.

[atrueneutral]

hi! I recently finished HWBASK and I thought you captured Raphael so exquisitely! It immediately became my favorite Tav x Raphael fic— any other ones I read afterwards paled in comparison! I quickly then set off to read your other work Blood in the Wine and just caught up. I looked back and saw your note regarding purposefully choosing to not use archive warnings, but given that was also done for HWBASK, I was expecting the same amount of dubious themes/consent. I unfortunately assumed wrong and was met with multiple elements of non-con/rape. To me as a reader it is more important to have such warnings even if it may “spoil” the story. At least labeling it as dead dove or something to get the point across. I was okay with the elements HWBASK, but this fic crossed the line and triggered some bad trauma. Am I at fault for continuing to read? For sure lol, but the warnings were quite vague to me and I couldn’t quite make out what was to happen (I thought it was just gonna be gore and religious trauma). So I’m not sure if a vague warning is meant to absolve you from criticism when the warning isn’t even clear of what it’s warning. And referencing your other fic and one shots, it wasn’t on my mind you’d delve that far to non-con elements. I don’t know where I’m going with this honestly, I’m still in a shocked state and feel a bit helpless, so forgive my rambling if you ever come across this. The scene of Tav being raped and then for her to enjoy it/continue to be aroused when looking at Raphael who has the same face of her abuser really made me sick and start crying (I know Haarlep is a incubus, but still). Plus I wasn’t expecting Astarion’s sexual abuse to be explicitly shown, let alone having Tav witness the rape. Again, if this was at least labeled as a dead dove or dark romance I would understand. But withholding info of something that undoubtedly will trigger some readers all for the sake of not wanting to spoil the story rubs me the wrong way. I know the intent wasn’t to harm, but the impact certainly did. You obviously can write what you’d like, I don’t want to invalidate your creative thinking and writing (especially since I adore your other works and think you balance angst well tonally). Though I do think courtesy and sensitivity for your readers may be good to keep in mind. Especially for sexual violence and especially if you are going to dance the line with victims of sexual violence and hypersexuality, and insensitively brushing over the very real and heavy implications of what trauma does to a victim. This is my feedback/concern I thought to share as a big fan of yours and your writing. I know I’m being sensitive on this, but it didn’t feel right not to bring up.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on the matter. I appreciate that you did so in a polite way while also expressing kindness for my writings that you have enjoyed! ❤️

I apologize that you were impacted in such a manner by my lack of tags. Aside from my vague warnings and my tagging the story as 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings', if the writing was not on the wall as to what you were to encounter within the story itself, especially within the chapters where the aforementioned scenes take place, that is a failure of my writing. I believed the story to have been established as living in a darker side of things early-on and that the relationships were not at all healthy.

I will concede that my other works are certainly lighter, so yes, it was likely unexpected to read my dipping toes into darker waters.

Thank you for conceding that you continued to read onwards despite finding the first mentioned encounter unpleasant. Forgive me, but I pictured that illustration of the person riding a bike and then jamming a pipe into the spokes, causing them to fall and clutch their knee in pain.

I'm currently writing the novel version (which I'm very excited about all of my edits/improvements to story and characters thus far), and if my dream of becoming traditionally published becomes reality, I think you won't be the only person in for an unpleasant time if they disagree with the themes and scenes within (being that tags will neither be included on the book).

Honestly? I wish I hadn't included as many tags as I did on HWBASK, but I know they are used as a lure, so to speak, and it was my first fanfiction. I didn't want to have that same regret with BITW, and to this day I don't. If it's any consolation, I view this story as being my only dark story. I much prefer writing the angst and fun seen in HWBASK.

Thank you again.

[atrueneutral]

Meesa editing Chapter 13 of 'Blood in the Wine'! 10k+ words.

Expect it Saturday???

Happy New Year!

[raphaelslittlebean]

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

[convelocity]

Down came the claw

Grab prints here or here.

[atrueneutral]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[atrueneutral]

YO. WRITING UPDATE.

I have three-ish more scenes to get through for Chapter 13 of BITW.

Tav just has to ________ before the _______ does _________, and then she’ll ________.

I think we’ll land around 8.5 words by the chapter’s end.

Maybe a release on Saturday if I’m DISCIPLINED.

Okay, bye.

[atrueneutral]

Writing Update & WIP Thursday

Helloooooo, Ether, and Those Reading. Hope you're all doing well.

Chapter 13 of 'Blood in the Wine' is going a bit slower than expected, but It's Coming. I have the rest of the story 90% figured out, but there are some pieces here and there that I'm taking a little bit of time to think on, and, on top of struggling with one scene in particular, my motivation has taken a small hit (womp womp).

Generally speaking, I can smell the finish line to this story, though! I'll be very excited for the day of completing it -- should at least be by the end of the year. Then I'll get to digest everything I learned along the way, work out some of the kinks, and start fresh on turning it into an original novel. Probably more on that once I finish; I'll be happy to share some of my discoveries.

I won't say 'never again' to writing Long Fic, but... woof. It's fuckin' hard, y'all. I mean, duh, too, right? Anyways, henceforth for my fic writing career, I'll likely stick to one shots and drabbles unless Plot makes me rabid again.

If I were to estimate, maybe around two weeks for Chapter 13 release. Thank you for the tag, @pricemarshfield, for WIP! I'll share a brief snippet below.

---

“Astarion…” She reached for his face in the dark, him being the breath she needed. “W-would you help me?”

Shortly after Tav smothered a moan, Astarion nodded against her palm.

“Yes – what can I do?”

“Take me to the church.”

[summerwarlock]

my contribution for @infernalcornerzine

[atrueneutral]

Blood in the Wine - Chapter 12 - DESPERATIO

[atrueneutral]

Last Line Written

Tagged by @pricemarshfield! (Thank you, as always!) I'll give you all my most recent paragraph. From the latest chapter of 'BITW': A muscle twitched in her cheek. “If you are willing to forgo your soul, Kith’rak Voss, then so be it. But if any part of you fears a harrowing afterlife in the Hells, where your soul is fated to be devoured however many millennia later by the devil you would call Master, you will wait three days for true divine intervention to step in.”

Tagging anyone who wants to participate!

[atrueneutral]

This is how I feel writing this chapter of ‘BITW’.

This is not how Tav feels.

Aiming to have the chapter out this weekend!

[atrueneutral]

Question for fic writers who see this:

Do you go back and edit old works or just leave ‘em be? To clarify, for my long fics, I definitely poke around chapters and make edits when I internally scream and see something needs to be fixed, but I’m poking around some prompt one shots and am wondering if I even bother…

Like. Damn, Neutral. Lay off the italics. And you’re being redundant here. And a beta reader might be useful. And…

I AM TRYING TO BE BETTER.

Side note: I AM TRYING VERY HARD TO NOT POST SNIPPETS OF THIS NEXT ‘BITW’ CHAPTER.

I’m jazzed these later chapters are coming out a bit faster now that I’m in the shit I’ve been wanting and waiting to write for a year+.

There you go again with the italics…

[atrueneutral]

Seven Deadly Sins - Tav from ‘Blood in the Wine’

Thank you, @pricemarshfield for the tag!! ❤️‍🔥

In private moments, behind whatever current-mask she wears as a devil hunter, Tav displays and/or wrestles with the sinful aspects of below…

LUST: desire for connection. pursuit of pleasure. emotional intelligence. obsessive. lovesick. one-night stands. seductive encounter. flirtatious conversation. erotic party. seductive attire. revealing clothing. passionate gaze. provocative makeup. sensual expressions. suggestive gestures. flirtatious smiles. lingerie. love letters. perfumes. provocative behaviour. love poems. erotic art.

GLUTTONY: indulgence in experience. savouring moments. hospitality. generosity. hedonism. culinary expertise. wine-tasting. excessive snacking. overloaded plates. excessive portions. bloated stomachs. messy eating. greasy fingers. full tables. indulgent spreads. overflowing cups. satisfied expressions. wine bottles. just can't get enough. fast food wrappers.

ENVY: motivation. competitive spirit. strategic planning. observational skills. bitter rivalry. contest. envious gossip. resentment-filled argument. social media jealousy. furrowed brows. clenched jaws. side-eye looks. pursed lips. tense posture. whispering behind backs. crossed arms. gossip magazines. keeping up with the joneses. the grass is always greener. feeling inadequate.

GREED: resourcefulness. entrepreneurial spirit. negotiation. materialistic. aggressive investment. lavish spending spree. resource-hoarding. get-rich-quick schemes. auction-bidding war. property acquisition. piles of money. overflowing wallets. luxury items. locked safes. penny-pinching. rare collectibles. selfishness. unwillingness to share.

SLOTH: calmness. stress management. nonchalance. relaxation techniques. lethargic. apathetic. inactive. lazy weekend. binge-watching marathon. neglected chores. skipped workout. long nap. lounging on the couch. missed deadlines. unkempt appearance. messy hair. pajamas. blankets. slippers. procrastination station. self-care routines.

PRIDE: confidence. self-assurance. self-respect. dignity. public speaking. self-promotion. arrogant. conceited. egotistical. self-important. vain. boastful speech. puffed chest. raised chin. smug smiles. spotlight. tooting your own horn. showing off. refusing to admit mistakes. feeling entitled. personal branding. leadership development.

WRATH: assertiveness. decisiveness. strength. intensity. boundary setting. courage. indignant. heated arguments. road rage incident. physical altercation. angry outburst. clenched fists. glaring eyes. tense muscles. raised voices. reddened faces. aggressive gestures. stormy demeanor. intense frowns. destructive actions. broken objects. punching bag. out for blood. fists. simmering anger.

I’ve had great fun writing Tav from chapter to chapter! Readers can let me know if I’ve been successful in my goal of naturally showing her cracks as we’ve progressed. She’s not as level-headed and in-control as she thinks she is when she first walks into the abbey. Been really trying to play up that concept of her and Raphael being two sides of the same coin — she’s just as arrogant and hypocritical as he is.

Tav, is it truly the fault of the “sickness” and “disease” that you’re so enamored with Raphael?

One in particular might say these two were made for each other…

Tagging anyone who wants to partake!

[kittykirin]

You know I'm the only one who'll love your sins Feel the way my voice gets underneath your skin.

[atrueneutral]

Blood in the Wine - Chapter 11 - LUXURIA

O, Haarlep, the fiend that you are, dare you to ruin me before the abbott, and I will unleash vengeance upon you in the most infernal, heavenly way!

[Link to AO3]

[atrueneutral]

Writing Update:

If I’m diligent, I might have Chapter 11 of ‘Blood in the Wine’ completed end of week. I’m currently sitting at 6.1k words and am thinking I’ll be landing around 8k with the remaining scenes.

I love this chapter for many reasons.

Paragraph preview under the cut.

Alas that it was not in the Archangel’s power to scrub the events of a few hours ago from memory.

Shamefully Tav’s thoughts strayed from Haarlep’s retribution to their sinful joining in the dark corridor. Knowledge of others’ experiences with incubi provided some awareness of what her foolishness had cost her: by giving away her form, Haarlep had become the master to the disease that slumbered like a coiled serpent within her belly. At his leisure would it stir, and until his death would she be sent to that pleasurable, hellish version of Heaven again and again.