darling, dearest, dead.

27. nyc. intj. slytherclaw. horned serpent. formerly sweetasylums.

[ozten-deactivated20171022]

friend: hey how are you

me after a month of anxiety so bad I can’t eat sleep or unclench my jaw: 

[louijover]

RETRO POP TEARS

now available new work 

link - https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Drawing-retro-pop-tears/284005/3986476/view

[atweird]

reneewalkar said: you can try emailing [email protected] but tbh seems like a long shot that they’d reply. only other thing i can think of is if u think you linked your ao3 account up to that same email and u know the password for that since they do username/password. but idk. so excited to see u on my dash

Heyyy girl, hey. I e-mailed but I'm not expecting a reply bc I'm pretty sure their "support team" is nonexistent. I can get into every other account except my ffnet; I'm not sure why or when I changed the email on the account and didn't make a note of it. I'm gettin' old.

[atweird]

mareethequeen replied to your post: So, um.

I don't think there’s a way around it. The only thing I can think of is to try a bunch of emails that you do remember to see if that works. Welcome back!!!

Thanks! Ugh, yeah, I e-mailed support. Worst case scenario, I'm gonna have to limit my postings to archive of our own.

[atweird]

So, um.

I can’t remember the email I used to log into my ff.net account. If anyone knows how to get around this, lmk.

[atweird]

I've been working on my own fan fiction for awhile && I want to post it but I'm scared of flames. How do you handle them? Do you have any tips for a new writer? Thank you! V.

Hi, V. Flames go hand in hand with writing. They bothered me as a teenager but thirty is approaching next year and now I just pity the flames — they’re either attention seekers looking for a rise or, sadly, they’re just envious. Constructive criticism reviews also happen, and some people can take those the wrong way (which I get, because at one point I felt like it was belittling), but I ignore most of those and do my own thing.

Write for yourself, don’t write for a readership — but approach that method with caution. I write for myself and only myself, and I write/post when I have the time and creativity to devote to my chapter. People get upset with the time between updates because I won’t pump out chapters that go nowhere just to generate reviews. I want a story with substance and that takes a lot of time when you’re an adult with responsibilities.

Posting fanfiction is a very convoluted process and I give my heart and soul to the respectful readers and I’m comfortable enough with my writing and my process to just roll my eyes at the disrespectful ones. Honestly, just post when and what you want and don’t worry about the haters, there are so very few of them in the fanfiction community; multiple flames are usually the result of one flamer with nothing else to do.

Maybe Colubrina and Shayalonnie can add more to this? Lord knows they understand the struggle.

[colubrina]

To be honest, the intentional flames probably won’t bother you. It’s hard to take someone seriously when they tell you you’re going to hell for writing a mouse playing chess, for example.  

The complaints still bother me.  Sometimes I have to walk away from things.  For me, the negative comments remain really crushing and horrible.  You have to have a thin emotional skin, I think, to be able to portray emotions well in words.  I do, at least. I admire the people who are able to shrug the negative remarks off but I’m not one of them.

I just write because I have to (not an exaggeration - I use writing as a coping mechanism for anxiety) and I like the positive attention.  Those two things continue to outweigh the drooping awful of being told I suck as either a writer or a person.

You’ll be okay.   

[shayalonnie-deactivated20210610]

You can have good days and bad days when it comes to people complaining about your stuff. Bad days are rotten, but they are made somewhat better by getting involved with other writers that you can vent to. We’ve all heard it and had to deal with it, so we sympathise. We’ll also be the first to say, “What an asshole. They clearly didn’t get what you were trying to do here.” 

While I also have my bad days where I snap angrily, I try to remind myself that not everyone likes everything, and that has NOTHING to do with the quality of my work. I, for instance, can’t stand a lot of award winning shows and movies. Certain books that other people love bore me to tears. My complaints about any of those things don’t take away the awards, and have zero to do with the quality of the work; it’s literally just my own preferences and my own opinion. The only difference is that I don’t email the creator of Grey’s Anatomy and say “Your show is stupid” from a Guest account. 

Take care of yourself first, but don’t let fear rule you forever. It’s okay to be hesitant and say “I still need time until I feel that I’m ready.” But you’ll have a tidal wave of support from other writers waiting for you. ♥

[atweird]

And this is why you've got nothing to worry about, V. Real people, down-to-earth writers, and we support each other.

[atweird]

I've been working on my own fan fiction for awhile && I want to post it but I'm scared of flames. How do you handle them? Do you have any tips for a new writer? Thank you! V.

Hi, V. Flames go hand in hand with writing. They bothered me as a teenager but thirty is approaching next year and now I just pity the flames — they're either attention seekers looking for a rise or, sadly, they're just envious. Constructive criticism reviews also happen, and some people can take those the wrong way (which I get, because at one point I felt like it was belittling), but I ignore most of those and do my own thing. Write for yourself, don't write for a readership — but approach that method with caution. I write for myself and only myself, and I write/post when I have the time and creativity to devote to my chapter. People get upset with the time between updates because I won't pump out chapters that go nowhere just to generate reviews. I want a story with substance and that takes a lot of time when you're an adult with responsibilities. Posting fanfiction is a very convoluted process and I give my heart and soul to the respectful readers and I'm comfortable enough with my writing and my process to just roll my eyes at the disrespectful ones. Honestly, just post when and what you want and don't worry about the haters, there are so very few of them in the fanfiction community; multiple flames are usually the result of one flamer with nothing else to do. Maybe Colubrina and Shayalonnie can add more to this? Lord knows they understand the struggle.

[atweird]

My loves,

I know there are exponentially more messages in my inbox and I'll get to them all, I just don't want to spam the dash more than I already have. You are not being ignored. Check back later if your message has not been answered. 💕

[atweird]

You're beautiful.

😭 Thank you so much. You are too, don't ever forget it.

[atweird]

Just so you know, I would 100% buy & support any original work you get published. xx

That means so much. So much. Truly. I'm hoping to push a novel by December but haven't decided if I should go to publishers or self publish on amazon. I need to research both options more. Sending you love and good thoughts.

[atweird]

Hellooooo, are you there? :b I miss Fair Fortune SO much, any idea when the next chapter will be posted? Dying for more (but I understand a hard RL too). All the love in the world for you ;)

I just heard Lionel Richie's "hello" in my head when reading the first line 😂 I'm here, mostly. I switch dimensions a lot like a Twin Peaks episode. More is coming, after a very exhausting year I finally found the love of writing again. All my love to you.

[atweird]

Hello, I just wanted to let you know that I am completely taken with your story "Fair Fortune"! I hope that you are doing well in 2017, and I look forward to reading more of your story. Best Wishes.

I'm so happy to hear that 💕 I hope you're doing well too and I look forward to getting this story completed this year. Message any time. xo

[atweird]

I just found fair fortune, and holy shit am I in love. You have some of the most beautiful and subtle writing I have ever read, published authors included. I've rea fair fortune twice now, and found myself captivated for each and every word. I don't think I can throw enough praises your way, nor do I have the ability to truly put my thoughts into words, but please know that those 30,000 words were some of my favorite I've ever read, and I can't wait for more.

This is so kind and thoughtful. I haven't looked at the fanfiction world in a long time (probably since the last update went up) and have barely written anything until the last week and a half. Decided to log on here and check the inbox and this was so sweet. Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to send them my way.

[atweird]

I miss you... I hope you're doing well! XOXO.

I miss you too. I'm doing alright. Sending the next chapter to the beta this week because I finally found some inspiration after a very difficult year.

[atweird]

why come back to the writing world if you can't even be serious about it (oh look i have a chapter ready for harry's birthday 2016 readers love me and shower me with your praise because cliffhangers)! and never update for almost a year

Not that it's anyone's business but I was the sole caregiver for my aunt through stage four and end stage liver cancer, and after she died I haven't had the drive to write; fanfiction or otherwise. You need to check that attitude and remember that fanfiction writers are people, with lives, who do this for free.

[rif-art]

*✧・ﾟ

[ellodie-nicole-deactivated20190]

@atweird

[atweird]

Your writing has helped me through difficult times. I love you. You're in my prayers. Do you have any plans to publish soon? I wish you success.

Wow, this is a very beautiful message. Thank you and I love you too. I hope to publish soon. I have a novel written but I don't feel like it's publishable. It's a first attempt, not something I'm very happy with. But then again I'm never really happy with my writing (what writer is?), so idk. The publishing process feels intimidating but it's something I plan to attempt when I'm comfortable. ...Though now that I'm writing this I realize that I'll probably never be comfortable with attempting to publish, lol. I better just jump into it soon and get it over with. I love you too 😘