Puppy Love

When you gonna call me? I can never tell, I wanna hear the ding ding dong, I wanna hear the bells

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“I’m surprised too, if I’m being honest. Bible-totin’ parents don’t seem like the types to go with more ‘feminine’ names. It’s cute, though. I thought you were about to turn tail and run. Especially after the ‘car lube’ fiasco. Maybe. When don’t I make jokes about blowies, honestly? Please don’t let your mother kill me.”

[aubreycab-blog]

I haven’t ever asked where they got it from! I’m glad I got stuck with it really, it fits. I’m more ‘feminine’ if anybody is. You’re definitely educational for someone like me, but awful nice to talk to. Plus you keep complimenting me which is really neat. Mama and I hardly hold a conversation anymore, she’s real mad I skipped out to become a gay diner employee. Can’t blame her, I guess.

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“The name suits you. Should get your name changed to it. Sounds like she kept you under lock and key. I feel bad just discussing kissing a boy around you. Tell her I’m very gay for Jesus. Entirely gay for Jesus. I’d suck his dick. I mean, he was famous for rising twice.”

[aubreycab-blog]

I don’t know if I could pull Wendy off. I’m surprised I got Aubrey, actually, you’d think I’d be Elijah or William or Jonathan or something. I lucked out there, I guess. You can discuss kissing boys around me all you want, it’s great. Have you just made a joke about sucking the lord off? Disgusting, I love it. I should call her and tell her I found a really cool new boy I want to take out.

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“Wendy is just as lovely. You could definitely be Wendy. Of course. I’d just be returning home. Sure your mother would love to hear I’m Satan incarnate. I mean, I suck dicks. Multiple. She must hate me already. I don’t know how they aren’t illegal already.”

[aubreycab-blog]

Call me Wendy Darling, then. She’d freak the heck out if she even knew you were allowed to look at me, honestly, but she hates every boy I like. She’s worried I’ll start having boy sex and stop being exclusively gay for The Lord. So I’m sure you’re automatically in the dog house. 

[increassethepeace]

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“So does this make you Tink, then? I need a sidekick. I saw you coming, love. Look too sweet for all of that. I would have descended straight to hell if you had started being disgusting. That’s still terrible. I can’t believe society still thinks it’s okay to try and change people like that.”

[aubreycab-blog]

Oh, I don’t think I could be Tink. She’s a little bit more assertive than I am. Maybe Wendy? She’s nice.Plus she likes the mermaids. You would have descended to hell, you said? I should email this to my mom, tell her the boys I’ve been chatting with. Honestly it’s terrible that it even exists, I really hope they start getting shut down soon. Straight as an arrow my ass.

[carriexchambers]

You warrior, you! You deserve a badge of honor! Or is it medal of honor? Eh, bloody semantics. Oy, didn’t you see that Will Smith movie? I Am Legend! The dog caught the virus! Bonzer movie all the way through but I don’t think I ever cried so hard at a movie, bloke. Good onya, I’d have had to offer you a batch of feel good biscuits becauseeveryone likes biscuits – but I’m actually crook–bad, terrible really, at making them so I would have had to make those frozen ones. Pillsbury sugar and chocolate chip and peanut butter…actually, I don’t think that was a completely selfless act. Bloody hell, stop me before I talk your ear off, I didn’t even introduce myself! I’m Carrie.

[aubreycab-blog]

I refuse to believe Will Smith would put me through this sort of torture. That’s honestly awful, poor doggy. You can’t make biscuits? That’s real bad news, love, I’ll have to give you a crash course sometime. I’m sure your frozen biscuits are just as wonderful though! I’d love to have them one of these days. Carrie, I love it, like on Sex and the City. I’m Aubrey. Like Drake the rapper.

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“Peter Pan? I’d be offended about the whole ‘wearing tights’ thing if I didn’t like Peter Pan so much. You didn’t seem to be, love. I would’ve run for the hills if you were. I have no time for homophobes or preachy Christians. Straight camp? That’s fucking terrible.”

[aubreycab-blog]

Yeah, you’re just like him. Real loud and in charge and all that. I’m glad you didn’t do any running because of me, darlin’, it’s a real honor. Oh, honey I’m from Texas, straight camps are like fat camps down there. People think they’re real helpful to the society and all that.

[wickedperrie-deactivated2015110]

In my opinion, pancakes or cake I good comfort food at any time of day. Alright, let me know when you want a little comfort food; I’m never opposed to cooking. Not worried but grumpy people need a little vent session too so if you wanna talk, I’m all ears.

[aubreycab-blog]

You’re right. I might have to eventually. I like to let it build up, you know? a nice anger filled volcano filled right up to the top. Ready to explode. It’s thrilling, actually. You should try it sometime.

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“You really are, is the point I’m making here. I’m never really nice, love. You should know that for the future. I’m just being honest. Yeah, but they’re mostly preachy and gross. They don’t have a little dog or weird curly hair.”

[aubreycab-blog]

Oh. Well thank you so much, then, it’s really nice of you to point it out. You’re kind of cute yourself. You’e like if Peter Pan was rated pg-13. Trust me, I’m not preachy in the least I tossed that ideology out when my parents tried to ship me off to straight camp or somethin’ scary and holy like that. 

[aubreycab-blog]

carriechallinor:

Oy, bloody oath. I think it’s because people are so hostile otherwise. Some say good day and people know they’re tellin’ a porky, some don’t say good day and they’re ready to spit the dummy over the disrespect – especially when they’re off their face – oh hey, did you get to pet the dog at least? Maybe it had rabies or somethin’ and the owner was trying to keep it a secret. Like in the movies! Some new zombie virus has got his dog and he was trying to bail out to keep you safe. Maaate, I think the real question is how are you feeling?

I did get to pet the dog! For a nano-second, I reckon. Totally worth this rude guy’s attitude he threw at me, it was a pug. Had to risk being barked at. I don’t think I could handle any sort of movie where a dog is the victim of a zombie disease, it would physically hurt me. I’m feeling a lot better now, I’m recovering from that traumatizing dog encounter. Thank you kindly.

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“I’m not going to be able to handle this. You’re so sweet. This is impossible. Maybe you’ll want to cuddle when you find the right person. You never know. A purity ring? I’m going to jump off a cliff. This is precious.”

[aubreycab-blog]

I don’t know if I’m that cute? I mean, I sure appreciate all this fuss - I’m actually blushing, I think, because you’re being awful kind, but surely you’ve met other church kids with purity rings? Not all that uncommon. Not all of them are queer guitar players but I think there must be a few.

[sararxsa-deactivated20210203]

Visit Original Link

Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“When you’re good to mama, mama’s good to you. It’s nice if you really like the person. For me, anyway. Who doesn’t like getting to relax in bed with someone you actually like? As a friend or otherwise. So, do you have a chastity belt under there?”

[aubreycab-blog]

I guess so. I’ve only kissed a few people, but it was really nice because I liked them. So you might be right. Although I’m not really a cuddler. I haven’t tried it, per say, but I feel like I might not be. I haven’t got a chastity belt, which is surprising. I used to have a purity ring in high school. My mum bought it for me.

[tfmaybelle-deactivated20150624]

“Re-educating is what I do, steering people on the right path is what I’d love to do as a profession, too. But, I don’t think that this generation of gross boys is able to be saved, they’re going to need more than me to help them. Maybe God, or even a falling star. Probably everything if they want to become half-decent. ——I’m Maybelle, by the way!“

[aubreycab-blog]

Oh, you want to be like a teacher then? Or a guidance counselor or something. It’s a bit worrisome how bad some of them are, I don’t usually judge this way but a lot of boys are real nasty. Hi Maybelle, it’s great to meet you. I’m Aubrey.

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“Gender doesn’t matter in this equation, love, so listen to your mama. It’s to ease the way. You don’t want to just shove in and hope the other person doesn’t tap out. It’s a mutual thing. You should still be educated. Just for your own safety. You never know ‘till you try it, honestly.”

[aubreycab-blog]

My mama? Are you my mother now? I’d welcome that, actually. This is disgusting. Doesn’t really seem as great as everyone makes it seem. Nothing against it, you know, do what you like and all, it’s just kind of cringe-y and horrible to think about. I don’t even like wearing swim trunks, no way am I getting anything in another person.

[ftmires-deactivated20150616]

“I’m just educating you so you don’t use car lube on some poor unfortunate soul. Jesus would be thanking me. Oh, you poor thing. They really should tell you just so you’re safe if you ever get around to it. I hope you aren’t getting flung around so hard you break anything. I mean, unless you’re into it. Keep him in a separate room. Easy.”

[aubreycab-blog]

Well, what is it even for? I don’t even understand why the non-car lube is necessary. It’s probably okay, at my age I’m probably gonna end up with someone’s who knows a little more about this. I don’t think I’d be into that, no It sounds sort of scary.

[tfmaybelle-deactivated20150624]

“Yes! And not even the expensive kind like, it was the cheap drugstore shop one which I don’t get at all. If you send these letters, make sure they’re detailed and styled to perfection otherwise, who’ll want you to take them for a spin, aren’t I right? ——And oh, I think I am, thank you for asking. Very kind of you.“

[aubreycab-blog]

Yeah, I’m not sure why anybody bothers with the cheap kind. It’s so obviously and tacky. You’re very right. You should have a class for gross boys who would like to be less gross. It might be your calling.