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How Resident Evil Took a Fat Shit

Do you remember when you were a kid, you waited until the perfect time to play? Not the perfect time to play with your wiener, but the perfect time to play Resident Evil! Waited until it was night time to set the mood and shit. To some of us lucky motherfuckers, it was an awesome time when we got to play it from the start...Resident Evil 1. To me and some of my readers, Resident Evil was one of the best survival horror games of all time. The Mansion, Wesker, Barry, shit like that.

Super sweet delicious, scare-the-shit-out-of-you-because-dogs-break-into-windows type of game. It was awesome, note I said “it was”. This is about how Resident Evil Took a Fat Ass dump.

Kind of sad I'm writing about Resident Evil and fecal material together, but someone has to do it.

Well, anyways as I mentioned earlier how classic Resident Evil was. I believe that the Resident Evil franchise is dead. I'm sure there are tons of articles about how it went downhill, so please don't mind me writing another one.

After Gamecube released Resident Evil 1 and 0, I was very excited. They (Nintendo) even mentioned the remake of 2 and 3 (2 being my favorite). Then what happened...broken promises happened. Next thing you know they just put Resident Evil 2 and 3 on a Gamecube disc and sold it as is. Bullshit...pure manure to the fullest. And of course Resident Evil 4 got released, it really changed from survival horror to sell out action game.

I remember the day I played 4 then right after I finished the game, I sold my Gamecube and everything that had to do with it.

Then Resident Evil 5 followed and there it goes spiraling down the drain. Don't get me wrong, the others (4,5, and whatever else) were not bad, just the typical shoot-em up game that feeds the hunger of Resident Evil fans.

But to me, the dream is over, my childhood game gone...forever?

Depends if capcom does shit about it

Andrew

Snitch Killa

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This PSA brought to you by Snitch Killa

You little sluts sure heard of Ken, Ryu and Hadouken right? If you didn't you are probably a fucking noob and play First person games like COD, last time I played COD I stabbed that fucker, because its a fish, not a game. But you FPS players are lame. Anyways about motherfucking Street Fighter, now that's a game, not a play-with-your-dick-because-i'm-pretend-army-dude, but sweet non-noob friendly game, and how Akuma will raging demon to your mom and she will like it.

Motherfucking Street Fighter! Another classic bad-ass game. Button mashers fuck off and play with your dick rather than mashing buttons, go mash some mash potatoes, because we rice eaters be doing some daigo shit on your ass. If you don't know Daigo, you don't know shit. Figting games need to be played more than first person shooters, and all this mmor-fuck-your-mom-when-your-working shit. Don't get me wrong RPG games back in the day were sick, now...it breeds little cunts who can't get pussy because they have their own that replaced their dicks, and for the ladies that have pussies...my apologies, you know I got love for you! So stop fucking around and pick up a Street Fighter game! You are welcome Capcom!!!

Andrew

Snitch Killa

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Magic 2015

RED

I decided to take a look at the new Magic core set this week. Instead of breaking it down as a set, each week I will be posting a different color break down. My perspective and discussion of the cards is meant to aide you in being as effective as possible while drafting. This week i have decided to show you what red has to offer.

My drafting circle of friends is very small so the rotating four of us have gotten to know each player and the color's they like to play. My friend Mark always says no one plays red in our group so he usually gets free reign of all the red cards. This statement got me thinking why do the players in our group stay away from red. For drafting the first thing about red that comes to mind is NUKE, and then haste.

Then I took a look at some solid red draft cards and realized that a lot of them are reckless with staggered attack/defense values, which makes first strike a necessity if you want to keep your creatures.

(don't get me wrong a lot of red has first strike built in for this reason)

Red also has a lot of gamble in drawing cards, if you draw with red most of the time you are discarding right after. But red isn't meant to be safe its meant to be like fire, sometimes you get burnt.

Playing this red aggressive quick style can leave even a defensive deck in ruins with how quick it can kill you. So I decided to review red to prove it's value to those players in our group that usually stay away from it. (including myself :))

Some of the lower mana cost creatures in red work out like like borderland maruader a 1/2 for 2 that becomes a 3/2 when it attacks combo'd with Altac Bloodseeker that is a 2/1 for 2 that can hit for 4 with first strike if a creature dies an opponent controls.

So if you get a lighting strike fourth turn, survive, you are left with 7 damage unbuffed by two creatures that cost 2. In this block red combos really well with Artifacts. Especially some of the really cool artifact creatures like Juggernaut that has the reckless style red is known for.

This is a core set so of course red has some goblin cards as well as some bulky dragons along with some dragon generators plus buffs for those nasty little dragon types. One of the cooler red cards they brought back is the all powerful Kird Appe upgrade Kird Chieftan who is already a 4/4 for 4 with a awesome 2/2 trample to target creature, which makes the g/r combo really dangerous.

All around i see red in Magic 2015 as a quality draft choice. The power of red in addition to the synergy with some artifacts, buff cards like Scrapyard Mongrel, as well as some green if you can get your hands on a Kird Cheiftan. Green/White are solid support colors to boost this awesome fire power.

If you choose to combo with green or white, there are some options. Green brings the instant buffs you need to bring damage on your opponent as well as enchant control. White brings solid enchant buffs that are constant with some cc capability, Excited to try it out for sure.

-Robb