one less bird

say whatever you want to of how it only brings pain to look back, sometimes that's just what I'm trying to do

[audratheforgotten]

Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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“Difficult. But not impossible.” Szymon believed his best friend wasn’t that hard-hearted, even after what had happened. If you knew the right buttons to push, it won’t be that hard to win Audra’s heart. But he was probably the only one who knew her that well. “To others maybe. But not to me.”

Szymon’s chest rose and fell as he took in deep breaths to steady his ravaging heart beat. Did he just say something that revealed what he felt? No. Maybe. He tried to shake off the mental debate he was having, but couldn’t help but be fazed by it. Audra was still there and wasn’t running away, so it was probably no. “D-dating wouldn’t be so bad.” A million what ifs and maybes were running through his head and it all ended bad. His pessimism was getting the best of him. But if it helped Audra and made her happier, then he’d try. After all, he promised he’d do everything to win her trust back. He just hoped this won’t end in losing her. “Yeah, me too.” His eyes were everywhere except Audra. He felt that if he looked in her direction, she’d disappear in thin air. But when he heard the pleading in her voice, he couldn’t help but do so. He felt a slight relief just looking into her eyes. She was still there. This was real. “Yeah?”

“Nobody knows me like you do.” She whispered, agreeing with him. Sometimes, it felt as if he knew her better than she knew herself. Not that she’d ever admit it. Szymon had a habit of getting a huge head whenever he thought he knew something she didn’t. “You’re right,” Audra started almost to herself, “Save for the last few years, you’ve always kept my heart safe.”

Audra’s lips parted with a heavy breath, her deep brown eyes focused on Szymon’s face. His features were contorting with mental turmoil. He was thinking too much, as usual. “It wouldn’t be so bad. We take care of each other.” Her voice was gentle, soft. She was terrified of saying the wrong thing, saying anything really. She had no idea where Szymon’s head was, and that terrified her. The words had come rushing out before she could stop them and now she  feared losing him again-this time forever. The jumbled nerves in her stomach calmed almost immediately when Szymon’s eyes finally met hers. He was still here with her. This was real. “So, you’re my boyfriend now.” Her heart skipped a beat at the title.

[audratheforgotten]

Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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It broke Szymon’s heart that the person who meant everything to him meant very little to her own parents. It was the same set up with his family. But he was already used to it. As a kid, he spent most of his time alone, if not with Audra. During the rare times his parents actually noticed him, it was to reprimand him and express how ashamed they were of him. “I don’t want that either. But if someone else were to have you, I’d want him to at least win your heart. I don’t want you to get married just for power.” But in the back of his mind, he didn’t want Audra to be married if it wasn’t to him. It was a selfish thought, but he couldn’t help it. He had always thought Audra was his, even when they were little.

Audra had always countered his self deprecation with words of affirmation. Although it made him smile, he never believed her. He didn’t know what it would take for him to actually even love himself. Or if he will ever learn to. Szymon was startled, not realizing what he had just said. He had actually meant to say it wouldn’t be like pretending since they were doing things that made people believe they were together since they were teenagers. It would only take a little more than the holding hands and hugging, to make it more believable. When Audra rephrased what he said, did he understand his own words. It felt like it just slipped out of his mouth without even thinking of it. He felt himself getting flustered again, this time maybe even more than before. “Did I say that? I mean.. I uh.. Just.. May-.. be? I guess so. I mean, we.. uh.. We never..” He swallowed thickly, trying to compose himself. “Do you even want that?” This time he spoke quickly to save himself from the stammering. His heart was beating so hard it threatened to rip out of his chest. He couldn’t meet her gaze.

“You know me,” Audra said with a heartless chuckle, “My heart is nearly impossible to win.” It wasn’t that she was that hardened. Her heart was already spoken for. It belonged to Szymon, and nobody could take it from him. Maybe she could find a touch of humanity within her mother, who had long suffered from unrequited love. Szymon was the one who made her the happiest in the entire world. And just maybe her mother could recognize this.

Audra’s mouth dried, forcing her to swallow and wet her lips before she spoke again. It was obvious she had misinterpreted his words, but she was too shocked to be embarrassed. A real relationship with Szymon? The idea had her heart soaring. Audra knew he would make her happy as both her best friend and her boyfriend and the affection that came with dating would come as easy as walking, but their friendship came first. Would becoming something more ruin their bond? Or would they find a love in each other that they had never known within their own families? Audra thought long and hard before she finally spoke, “Would...would dating be so bad? We said it ourselves, it wouldn’t be all that different.” The subject was delicate, that much she knew. To pretend would mean Szymon was doing her a favor. Surely, he could never feel the same. “I’d...I’d give it a try.” The words weighed heavy on her chest. They were a huge risk falling off her tongue. Would he be disgusted by them? By her? “Szymon, please look at me.” She pleaded desperately.

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Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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“Definitely not me.” Even when Szymon knew he lost the argument, he still wouldn’t accept defeat and let out a futile remark. Kissing Audra had been a frequent thought that visited his head usually at random times, but mostly when they were together. At times, he’d catch himself lost in his thoughts and just staring at her mouth. Just thinking about it makes him feel euphoric, how much more if it was the real thing?

Szymon let go of her hands the second she told him. He was quiet for a moment, fazed by her words. “Now, why would you want that?” It came out sounding like he was rejecting her idea. But he quickly covered up, explaining himself. “I-I mean.. It’s great. But is that even going to work? Won’t our parents still have total control over who we’re going to marry? And.. Don’t you want to meet other people? I mean, it must get boring if you.. spend time with just me, right?” Some of his best flaws were being the biggest pessimist and having the knack for saying the wrong things. Another was degrading himself. He ducked his head a little, trying to catch her eyes. “But.. if you want to do it, we don’t have to pretend. We just need to keep doing what we did before, and maybe do something more, right? Everyone would be more than convinced.” He flashed her a gentle and reassuring smile. When she opened her mouth to sing, Szymon couldn’t help but just stare and listen in awe. His heart pounded against his chest. It felt like falling in love with her all over again, if that was possible. He couldn’t help but smile proudly as she ended the song. “That was.. amazing. It was perfect. You’re perfect.” All mockery and teasing in his voice was replaced with pride and awe. “I’ll try learning to play that and.. Maybe we could try it together next time.”

“No, never you.” Audra laughed knowing this was as close as she would get to surrender from him. While Szymon had always acted as if he was the one who was right, in the end it was usually Audra. As a younger girl with a silly crush, she’d always imagined what it would be like to kiss him. Now, it seemed more and more a fantasy. It brought warm, fluttering butterflies to her stomach and color to her cheeks. Her eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips and back again, a small smile playing at her lips.

Embarrassed, she took a half step back when he dropped her hands. It was stupid, he thought she was stupid. Audra looked away, knowing that her eyes always gave away how she really felt, “I told you, it was stupid.” Audra shook her head, still not meeting his gaze, “My parents-or my father at least, are focused on taking the throne. My mother doesn’t do much these days but pine for my father’s affection,” Audra spoke bitterly, “They’re focused on Aivaras at the moment. Finding him an advantageous marriage. I can fly under their radar if they aren’t approached with an offer for me. I just...I don’t want to be sold like cattle.” Finally, Audra peeked back up at him through her eyelashes, “Szymon. You will never become boring to me. I don’t need to meet other people. Even if I’m slow to trust you again, you’re all I’ve ever needed my entire life.” Fiercely, Audra tried to give Szymon a glimpse at his worth to her. His self depreciation had always saddened her, bringing about a defensiveness she found only when she was with him. “What do you mean, not pretend...?” Audra’s heart skipped a beat, “Like actually date for real?” Her heart was in her throat, pounding so loud, she was sure he could hear it. Shaking her head a little, she grinned with pure happiness at Szymon’s praise. “Thank you. And I’d like that. If you learned, I mean. I’d love to sing with you.”

[audratheforgotten]

Szymon and Audra on 8tracks

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Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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“Yeah? You haven’t even tried to kiss me. How’d you know it’d be gross?” Szymon had a smug, taunting smirk on his face. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you badly want to kiss me, dear Audra.” One of the things he also loved doing was pretending he knew everything, and using it against her. But, really, all he knew that Audra would never see him that way. Although they acted like lovers, at the end of the day, friends were all they ever really were.

“Fine.” Szymon let out a defeated sigh, pretending to have given up. But his face said otherwise. He looked at her with soft, imploring eyes. It would have looked pretty normal to anyone. But it always won Audra’s heart, charming her to do what he wanted. When she became flustered, he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. There was something definitely wrong with the two of them today. Or maybe it was the weather, Szymon guessed. The look on her face made him laugh even more. She looked pretty pissed, and he had to purse his lips to keep himself from laughing even more. “I won’t believe it until I hear it myself.” He raised his chin, narrowing his eyes at her as if he was challenging her.

“Really? Because it sounds like you’re trying to dare me into it,” Audra countered with a snort, “Now who’s desperate for a kiss?” In their younger years, Szymon’s act of being a know it all would irritate her to no end until Audra would eventually stomp away in frustration. He didn’t know anything, she’d always tell herself. Now she knew how much he actually did know, especially about her. This time, he was only half right. In high school, she’d been curious. What would it be like to kiss Szymon? Would it be as awkward as she had always expected, or would she finally find the courage to say exactly what she felt?

Audra really tried not to fall for his puppy eyes. He knew exactly what he was doing with that sappy look on his face. “Fine,” she groaned, already trying to fidget with her hands in his, “I just...had this really stupid idea. Like, what if we pretended to date so nobody else can become a potential suitor for me.” She couldn’t meet his eyes as she spoke, her words a jumbled and shaky mess. Audra recovered her composure quickly, recognizing the challenge in his voice. Closing her eyes and humming to herself, Audra parted her lips and began to sing softly, 

“Oh thinkin' about all our younger years There was only you and me We were young and wild and free Now nothin' can take you away from me We've been down that road before But that's over now You keep me comin' back for more Baby, you're all that I want When you're lyin' here in my arms I'm findin' it hard to believe We're in heaven.”

The song was one of her favorites to sing, the slowness fitting her sweet voice perfectly. She raised one eyebrow at Szymon, smirking triumphantly.

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Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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“Whatever.” Szymon simply said, shaking his head. He was hoping that the redness of his face had drained down. He must have looked really stupid blushing. “Strategy or not, we’ve been doing that since we were teenagers. Really, there wouldn’t be much difference.” But he guessed if they were to make it official, it would. He could say what he felt and made her feel it openly, and without fear of crossing the line between friendship and something more. The thought of Audra being his girlfriend sent butterflies in his stomach; it made his heart race. In excitement or anxiety, he wasn’t sure. Just thinking about telling her what he felt made him want to bury himself 6 feet below the earth and never come out.  It was funny how one simple act of confession could change everything. It could bring about the best or worst. He couldn’t risk losing Audra. She was all he ever had.

“Would I.. what?” He asked, grabbing her hands and pulling her close to him. “No, tell me.” He wasn’t going to let this slide. “You? Singing? You’re joking, right?” He teased, letting out a loud chuckle. “Great idea. Everyone would die just hearing your voice.” He was kidding of course. He loved tormenting her with his teasing. But he had so much faith in her. He believed she could do anything she ever put her mind to.

Audra grinned, resisting the temptation to poke the fading redness of his cheeks. Not that she’d ever say it out loud, but he looked adorable with color blooming across his pale skin. “The only thing that would really change is you’d go from my best friend to my boyfriend. I’d have to kiss you and gross things like that.” She teased. In reality, they really weren’t far off from dating. They held hands, hugged each other, and teased one another like a married couple. Audra had always loved Szymon, as a friend to her first crush and back again. But could that love have become something more? Seeing Szymon gave Audra the greatest happiness she had ever known and his arms were her favorite place to be in the entire world. They walked a fine line between friends and lovers, and it was a line Audra was too afraid to ever cross. At least she had him always on one side. She couldn’t lose him by telling him just how close to her heart he was. Not again.

“No really, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Audra tried in vain to pull her hands from his grasp. He’d figured out after all these years the best way to capture her petite hands in a way she couldn’t wiggle out of. It was her turn to turn beet red in the face, embarrassed by her own thoughts. Giving up, she dropped her captured hands and shot him a dirty look, “I’m pretty good at it. Even my father said so, and you know how rare his compliments are.” Audra puffed her chest proudly.

[audratheforgotten]

Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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“I know. And I’m sorry that you feel the opposite about that now. I wish you’d trust me again.” Just by looking into her eyes, Szymon knew there was something she wasn’t telling him. But he didn’t push her. He never did. Nothing ever stayed as a secret between the two of them. Sooner or later, they’d find out about whatever it was. But there was one exception to that.

“You were always perfect. There’s no denying that.” Szymon only laughed at her remark. He didn’t realize how much he had missed teasing and joking around with Audra until now. Only she could make him smile and laugh like this. “I am not! It’s just.. really warm!” He lied. She was right. He was blushing. He wondered if there was a scale for when people get flustered, if people turned more red if they continuously blushed. It seldom happened to him, but it was very frequent now. “If you want to make me blush more, you’re gonna have to do better than a kiss on the cheek next time.” He laughed at his own joke in attempt to dismiss whatever meaning his words held behind them. “Kissing me might give people the wrong idea. They’d think I’m your boyfriend, again. There goes your chance of having a real boyfriend.” In the back of his mind, he knew his friendship with Audra was the only relationship he ever needed. She was his ideal girl. She has only been his only ideal girl. She’d be the perfect girlfriend for him. If only he had the courage to make a move. “Really? Maybe you didn’t look hard enough for it.” If he had known she was going to arrive, he would have looked for her room. “Have you checked the dungeons?” He teased, letting out a small chuckle.

“I’m sorry too,” Audra looked away, “It’s just…a habit now not to let anybody in. This whole “share fest” that happened here is the most I’ve opened up since you left.” She mumbled her way through the sentence, convinced even the mere suggestion of what he had her feeling would just ruin everything all over again. She’d just found out he hadn’t abandoned her-she couldn’t lose him again. So, she stayed quiet, deciding that it was instead better to simply never share how she truly felt inside.

“Damn straight.” Audra giggled, turning pink at Szymon’s words. She sighed happily, realizing everything she had missed all these years. She’d missed the jokes and the friendly banter, the arguments that were never quite completely serious, and the closeness they had once shared. Audra bit her lip to keep herself for laughing at him further, “Whatever you say, Szymon. I actually think it’s cold out here.” She knew he was lying, but didn’t say anything further. It was rare to see him flush such a deep shade of red that Audra didn’t want to ruin the moment. “Maybe that’s my strategy. Use you as my pseudo-boyfriend to scare everyone else away. I wanted one in high school, I don’t need one now.” Audra almost snorted remembering how she had always wanted a boyfriend like one in the movies she had used to make Szymon watch. In reality, this Polish boy before her with a mop of almost white-blond hair was her perfect match in every way. Had she just been smart enough to see it when they were young, maybe she’d have her happily ever after. It was too late now. All she’d ever be to him was a friend, someone as close as family.  But Audra’s own words intrigued her. The thought of someone else setting their sights on her for her father’s ambition of their country sickened her. She was so desperate to escape an arranged marriage that she wouldn’t mind using a relationship with Szymon as a shield. She knew he’d protect her. “Would you-never mind, forget I said anything.” Fiercely, she shook her head. Stupid. What an incredibly stupid idea. She beat herself up mentally for even thinking of it. “I said I wanted to be away from everyone, not locked in a tower forever,” She quickly changed the subject with a laugh, elbowing Szymon lightly, “I uh…I actually took up singing and I don’t want to bother anyone.”

[audratheforgotten]

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Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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Szymon smiled, thinking about how everyone wanted them together. Being with Audra as friends already made him feel euphoric. But he never gave much thought being more than friends. It always seemed like a far-fetched idea and he always pushed the thought away. Thinking about it now, he didn’t know what to feel. He was sure Audra would never like him. He wasn’t enough. He was never enough; for his parents, for his uncle, for anyone. He was sure it was the same for Audra. He’d much rather sit in silence with whatever he felt than say it out loud and be rejected by the only person who made him feel loved. His anxiety and fearfulness was getting the best of him again. And as always, he shooed the thoughts away. “Hey. Hey,” he gently reached over to touch her cheek and turn her head to face him. He looked straight into her eyes. The thing he learned about her over the years was that even if she did her best to hide her feelings, her eyes always betrayed her. Just by looking into them, you’d know exactly what she was feeling. “Then… if you ever fall in love with someone, and he does that to you, you can always count on me.”   “I didn’t know how evil you really are when we were little. I should’ve known better.” Szymon let go of her wrists and slid his fingers between hers instead. “Freakishly tall? You wound me, Audra. I thought we were friends.” He feigned being hurt. He meant the kiss as a joke. But when Audra tiptoed and planted a kiss on his cheek, he froze where he stood. Heat spread from where she had kissed him to every part of his body. He was flushed yet again. He swore his heart beat could be heard from the other end of the island. He let out a shaky breath as he flashed an overly excited smile at her. He tried to control it, but he couldn’t help it. “Gee, it’s getting kinda hot in here, huh?” He let out a nervous chuckle and swallowed the lump in his throat. Although it was kind of chilly out in the garden, Szymon felt warm from everything that was happening. “Uh.. Uhm.. Ha-.. Uh.. Ha-Have you found your room?” He tripped over his own words, not being able to compose himself.

Audra bit her lip to hold in a laugh. Even her parents had thought they were dating at one time on a rare moment where they actually acknowledged her. It had been her usual reaction to vehemently deny any sort of relationship between her and Szymon when she was younger. Now...it seemed less foreign and the more the idea churned around in her mind, the more comfortable she felt. But Szymon had only ever seen her as the girl that had followed him around like a puppy. Audra couldn’t risk their relationship with her silly feelings. She tried not to cry when he touched her face, the tender action reminding her of the feelings she had been keeping hidden in the back of her mind. “I’ve always counted on you.” She said softly, her eyes coming up to meet Szymon’s.  Her heart thumped in her chest and Audra bit down on her lip to avoid blurting something she would regret later. “I was never evil. I was a perfect kid.” She laughed, grinning happily up at him, and swinging their intertwined hands back and forth. “It’s not mean if it’s true.” She teased gently. The smile on her face froze watching the emotions on Szymon’s face. He was blushing, his face a beet red. Audra couldn’t help but giggle at how flustered the kiss on his cheek had made him. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re blushing,” Audra poked his red cheeks with a grin, “I might kiss you more often.” It sounded like a joke, but in the back of her mind, she really wondered what it would be like to properly kiss him. Shaking her head, her own cheeks turning a shade of pink, Audra looked down and away, “I haven’t found it yet. I requested to be away from everyone but I think they took it a bit too literally.”

[falling-for-fiction]

I’m not the same without you. You changed me… Whether I’ll admit it to anyone else or not. You swept me up with your bravado and charm. And made me a better version of myself. I really want to know what happy is. But now it seems I’ll never find out.

Why do the bad things always happen to the good people? (via falling-for-fiction)

[audratheforgotten]

Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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“Or… maybe you’re just really annoying,” he teased, making a face at her and letting out a laugh. “I tried to tell them. But they keep insisting I’m either lying, or denying my feelings. I don’t know. They’re weird.” Szymon was really close to his cousins. It was almost as if he was a brother to them. They knew him very well. Maybe even better than Szymon knew himself. “No,” he said, shaking his head. Just thinking about some other person sitting beside him in the throne sent his insides crumbling in anxiety. “I can’t do it without you. I won’t take the throne unless it’s you with me.” With eyes reflecting what he felt, he tried to look at her. If he was being honest, he was afraid he couldn’t do it. He was always fearful. He never believed in himself which stopped him from doing a lot of things. But whenever he was with Audra, he felt like he could do anything. “You’re the only one who could keep me sane. I don’t want anyone else.”

“Are you sure you weren’t at the least bit jealous?” He had a smug grin on his face. He didn’t know for sure if she was actually jealous. But he knew how much she disliked that girl. “You finding out about it was inevitable.” He was jerking around and laughing so hard, his stomach burned. He hadn’t laughed and had fun like this in years. He only felt this happy when he was with her. By the time he had stopped her evil doings, he was breathless and red from all the laughing. “You evil creature!!” He exclaimed, gasping for air. His chest rose and fell as he caught his breath. “What else do you expect me to use against your evil schemes? My size is my only defense.” His smile softened as he met her eyes. They were quiet for a moment, only the sound of their breathing filled the air. “You tickled me. Does that mean I get to..” His voice trailed off, a grin spread across his face. He was joking of course. That’s what he told himself. That’s what he made himself believe.

“I’m absolutely wonderful. I’m anything but annoying.” She grumbled, returning his face with a grimace. Debating on whether or not to poke him in the side for this remark, Audra remembered how Aivaras had always said about the same things to her. He had insisted that the two had feelings for each other, they were just too afraid to reveal them. “They should get together with Aivaras. He has always said the same thing.” Audra chuckled to herself, biting her lip. She kept her eyes on Szymon, her expression softening as he shook his head. Audra sighed, looking away, “I’m just afraid. Of the whole marriage thing. My mother was head over heels in love with my father but he wouldn’t give her the time of day. I want love with someone, but I’m afraid of...that.” This fear was something she’d never shared with anyone else. It was a secret she kept close to her heart. Sharing it, she couldn’t bring her eyes up to meet Szymon’s, feeling dangerously vulnerable. 

“I’m absolutely positive I was not jealous.” Audra snorted lying smoothly. She let out a little chuckle, a small smile lighting up her face. “Sure I could’ve found out on my own eventually, but you told me about them!” She couldn’t help but laugh along with him, her cheeks hurting from smiling so much. The redness of Szymon’s face had Audra grinning, still squirming in his grip. “You’re just so freakishly tall! It’s an unfair advantage.” Audra herself had always been considered tall, but despite this, Szymon had always towered above her. She had liked to tease him on the fact that he was so giant when they were younger but, as they got older, she found his looming stature comforting. Audra rolled her eyes, still panting from her assault on her friend’s sides. Stretching up on her toes, Audra planted a gentle kiss on Szymon’s cheek, hoping she could pass off the redness that was creeping onto her cheeks as excitement from tickling him. “Yes, you get a kiss.” She laughed lightly, her heart pounding in her ears. 

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Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

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“I actually stopped trying to explain myself and just let them think what they want.” A smile spread across his face. “Even my cousins don’t believe me when I say we had nothing going on.” He threw his head back, joining her in laughter. Hers was music to his ears. It made his heart leap. He blamed whatever he felt over the longing he had for her after all these years. “I thought we said not to shit each other? What are these lies I hear about you being a good kid?” His stomach hurt already from all the laughing. But when Audra spoke about their engagement, she always sounded so sincere, even when they were joking around and laughing. Audra must have really liked the idea of getting married to him. He seldom thought about the marriage. But he couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else other than his best friend. “Sorry I messed everything up.” He flashed a soft smile at her direction, his eyes glinting with sadness and regret.

Desperately trying to suppress his laughter, Szymon shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “For all I know, you were extremely jealous of her.” Now, he couldn’t help but burst out in laughter. He was laughing so hard, tears were forming in his eyes. When Audra had leapt from the bench, Szymon backed away from her, holding out his hands in front of him in an attempt to be ready to defend himself. “Audra, stop. No.” Although his tone was serious, he couldn’t help the smile on his face. He was still taking steps away from her. “Yeah, when we were like 9.” He murmured, gaze turned away from her. He did not even notice that Audra had closed the distance between them. When she poked him once more, his body jerked up, making him look at her, his face a mix of annoyance and desperate attempt not to laugh. His eyes were already damp from laughing earlier. Holding back his laughter only caused more tears to well up in his eyes. Szymon tried to wiggle out of her grasp and push her away but it only made things worse. He couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. “Stop. Just stop. I can’t breathe!” He managed to voice out through his uncontrollable laughter. He took hold of her wrists, trying to pry her hands away from his sides.

“That explains why nobody asked me out senior year! They all thought I was dating you!” Audra’s head was thrown back, small tears streaming down her face as her chest shook with laughter, “I can’t believe your cousins thought we had something going on. I thought they’d at least know what was really happening with how close you are with them and all.” Audra, still laughing, shook her head. Seeing Szymon so happy filled her with joy. Having always known him to be a rather angry and mistreated child when she wasn’t around, it had always brought a smile to Audra’s face to see him smile. Incredulously, Audra gasped, placing her hand over heart in mock shock, “I was a great kid!” She knew she kept bringing up the engagement to the point where it could be considered annoying. But it was among one of the many questions she still had for him. Was it something he wanted? Was it something he ever wanted? “Don’t be sorry. Now you’re free to find a Queen worthy of you and Poland. Or, like you said, if it’s something I want, I can always fight for it.” She peeked at him quickly from behind a veil of hair.

Audra snorted, though slightly afraid that he really knew just how jealous she had been, “You wish. She can have you.” She grinned viciously at him, edging closer and closer with her hands still held out in front of her. “Hey, it’s your fault for letting me know just how ticklish you are.” Audra giggled, lunging forward to dig her fingers into his sides. He tried desperately and in vein to escape her grip, but found that she was prepared for his every move. Each twist and turn of his body had them both laughing harder and harder until tears were rolling down Audra’s cheeks once again. She was still laughing, happily and genuinely for the first time since he had left when Szymon captured her wrists mid-attack. Audra was stopped, her chest heaving with a few residual giggles. She flexed her hands, trying to pull them from Szymon’s larger ones but to no avail. “I hate it when you use the “I’m bigger than you” thing. It’s not fair.” Breathlessly, she bit her lip, raising her head to meet his eyes.

[our-stitch-lab]

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Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

[audratheforgotten]

Audra was right. Szymon couldn’t think of a time Audra had ever let him down. She was always there for him, even through the most outrageous ideas he had. But he couldn’t believe she never had a boyfriend before. Audra was the perfect girl. She was intelligent, kindhearted and beautiful. What more could any guy ask for? “Then, I shit you not when I say I haven’t had a girlfriend.” He let out a soft chuckle. “Girls were always jealous of you. In fact, everyone thought we were together, only a few ever tried to even go out with me.” He never did care if girls were warded off by his friendship with Audra. He didn’t even care about the other girls. Most of the time, he’d get set on a random date by his friends. Just for fun. But he never thought about getting serious with them. There wasn’t just space for them in his occupied heart, although he wasn’t quite aware of it. “Well, Audra, I don’t remember you ever obeying your parents wills. What makes the whole engagement thing any different?” He asked, looking over to her. “You could have fought for someone else. Someone you actually love, and not just someone you’re stuck with.” Thinking of it that way made his heart sink.

For a moment, Szymon was actually afraid. Partly of how upset she got. But mostly because he might have said and done something wrong to make her angry again. He was afraid of stepping out of the line and doing something wrong. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her again. “I didn’t want perfect. I wanted you. I wanted my best friend. I’d never trade you for the world, Aud.” His face contorted into a mix of threat and a little horror when she held her finger out. “Don’t you dare. Don’t-” He jolted away once more when her finger landed on his side. He stood from the bench and moved away from her. “Damn it! I said stop! I’m warning you. Lay your finger on me again or I will.. I’ll.. I-I’ll..” He couldn’t think of any terrorizing threat to say. He wasn’t prepared for this. Usually it would be spilling a secret to her parents or Aivaras that’d get her in trouble. But her parents weren’t here and both of them were already too old for any of the threats he used before. “I’ll kiss you!” He blurted out without even thinking. That one was what he used when they were younger and kisses were considered gross. When he realized what he just said, he was flushed. He felt heat spread from his face down to his neck and whole body. He was at a loss for words and couldn’t even look at her. He was sure he looked red as a tomato. “I-I.. I mean.. I.. I didn’t..”  He wanted to melt into the ground and prayed that the earth would swallow him.

“I got that question all the time,” Audra said with a hearty laugh, “Everyone always thought we were together. Aivaras used to constantly ask me if we were dating yet. I always said no and he’d give me this weird look. I still don’t know why.” The idea of spending as much time as they did together with anyone else had always sounded boring to Audra. Nobody else had ever interested her enough. Szymon. It had always been Szymon that had always captured her attention. “Hey, I was a good kid,” Audra laughed, unable to say it with a straight face, “I didn’t argue the engagement because I was happy with it. And once it was announced, I stopped picturing a mysterious tall, dark, and handsome guy at the end of aisle on my wedding day. I’ve always pictured you. Tall, pale as hell, and the handsomest.” She let out a shaky laugh, trying desperately to maintain a joking facade, “I’ve never felt like I’ve been stuck with you. I’ve always felt lucky.” Audra whispered honestly.

“I wouldn’t trade you for anything, either. But I regret that this friendship ended some relationships that were working really well for you.” A happy, genuine laugh shook from her chest and had Audra almost doubled over in tears. She too leapt from the bench, her own long legs making it easy to quickly close in on an angry Szymon. Audra held out her hands with her fingers half curled into claws, “I’m so glad I never forgot how ticklish you are and where.” She laughed, playfully wiggling her fingers. His threat has her laughing more. Audra felt elated. Joking and kidding with Szymon felt like the most natural thing in the world. As easy as breathing or falling asleep. She laughed once again at his threat. “I’ve been kissed by you once. And once was enough.” The smile slid off of her face seeing how red he had turned. The flush spread from the tips of his ears down to his neck and he couldn’t meet her gaze. Not taking her eyes off of him, Audra closed the distance between them, jabbing two fingers into his sides, where he was most sensitive. “No frowning, or I tickle you.” She said lightly, trying to bring a smile back to his face. 

[audratheforgotten]

Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

[audratheforgotten]

“I’m not denying. I’m just saying I’m not interested in any of them.” Szymon shrugged, tracing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. “I was afraid, okay? I didn’t like rejection. You know that. Especially from you. It took me over a week to pack up the courage to ask you.” He confessed, attempting to put a mask of playfulness in his voice but failed. Sure he looked abashed, he turned his head away from her. He usually was an expert at hiding what he felt. “You? Never had a boyfriend? Go shit someone else, Audra. You were one of the most popular kids in Lithuania, even in Poland. And you’ve dated countless guys already. Shut up.” He said, looking at her incredulously. Even he himself had dated a lot of people already, but he never went steady with anyone. He always felt like he was content with what he had. He didn’t need anybody else. Audra was enough. Audra has always been more than enough. “Never have. Never will.” He assured her, bringing their hands to his lips and leaving a small peck on the back of hers.

Szymon laughed at her statement. Although many girls found him attractive, he never cared. He was more well-known for the fights he got into in high school than anything else. Hearing the jealousy and bitterness in her voice, he couldn’t help but smirk. “M? Are we talking about Michalina?” She was one of the girls Szymon went out with in high school, and was probably the longest he had dated. Everyone thought they were going steady already. “Mm.. Yeah. She was kind and pretty intelligent,” he nodded, watching Audra’s expressions. “Really pretty too! But we kind of ended things when I couldn’t go to her birthday party. I had to drive all the way to Lithuania to get my best friend to talk to me again. You wouldn’t even look at me. And you were really cold. I thought you hated me. You were jealo-” He jolted away from her at the poke. He almost fell off the bench. One of his biggest secrets that only Audra ever knew was the particular spots in his body where he was ticklish. “DON’T- do that!” He exclaimed, scooting away from her and trying to regain composure. Szymon laughed at how upset she got. Even as children, he loved teasing and annoying her. “Yeah. I’m fucking Picasso.” For the first time in a long time, he was laughing a genuine laugh. It felt good to actually feel happy. “Aww, no, don’t get so upset, love. I was just kidding.” He cooed, a mocking smirk plastered on his face. He couldn’t help but laugh some more.

“When have I ever rejected you?” Audra frowned, “You’ve always had me going along with whatever crazy plan you’d come up with. You’ve always had me wrapped around your finger.” She admitted with a small smile, rubbing her thumb over his in gentle strokes. The humbled expression on Szymon’s face did not escape Audra, though she chose to frown and remain silent rather than say anything. Her face quickly darkened, turning a dark shade of pink as he spoke, “Sure I went on dates. Maybe two or three if the guy was lucky, but nothing more. I shit you not, I’ve never had a boyfriend,” Sheepishly, she looked down and a away, bringing her hair over one shoulder, “Every guy always got a bit offended by the fact that I would spend more time with you. And I wasn’t giving you up so, away they went.” Audra remembered to herself how easy it had always been to tell someone she wouldn’t be seeing them again the second the had brought up her friendship with Szymon. Shaking her head, she spoke again, “Besides, we were engaged. Why waste my time like that on somebody I wouldn’t end up with anyhow?” Audra swallowed the lump in her throat, her heart pounding in her ears when he pressed his lips to the back of her hand. It was a simple, innocent gesture, but it had butterflies fluttering in Audra’s stomach.

At the sound of her name, Audra scowled. She hadn’t meant to, but just thinking back on the girl Szymon had dated perhaps the longest brought fire blazing through her veins. She kept her gaze downward, allowing her hair to fall in front of her face so Szymon couldn’t see her expressions. Each compliment had her face souring until an ugly frown twisted her facial expressions. “If she was so perfect, you should’ve forgotten about me and gone to her damn party.” Audra snapped, ending the discussion. She looked back up at her friend, a grin once again gracing her features. Audra held her finger out menacingly. “You’re such a dick.” She poked him again as revenge for teasing her.

[audratheforgotten]

[audratheforgotten]

Wildfire|Audra&Szymon

[audratheforgotten]

Szymon gave her a look. “I’m still upset you found one before I even got to ask you! Didn’t you think I’d take you?” He remembered how it took him a week to pack up the courage to ask her. For several days, he couldn’t sleep, just thinking about how to ask her. He remembered how jealous he got, finding out she was going out with Jakub. He felt bad and utterly pathetic for having to convince Audra to still go with him. But remembering the joy he felt when she agreed to go out with him made him smile. It was truly the best night of his life. He shook his head at the question. “Nobody new. Still just the cousins.”

His stomach flipped around inside him when Audra touched his face. She continues to surprise him with her actions. And he was continuously surprised with how he reacted with each one. “Makes me look kinda hot doesn’t it?” He joked, laughing. “I don’t particularly like going out on dates. Pretty bad at it.” He felt her hand tighten around his. He gave her a soft squeeze and a reassuring smile. “You’ve always been the smart one between the two of us. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got interested in that. But you were pretty shitty in art.” He teased, making a face at her again and laughing.

“No! You always had hoards of girls following you-don’t deny it. I figured you’d ask one of them. Mostly I thought you’d have asked me sooner if you wanted to go with me. Prom was sort of a last minute thing, wasn’t it?” She laughed, “Poor Jakub though. He was so confused when I said I was going with you instead. You know, now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure you’re the reason I’ve never had a boyfriend.” Again, it was a joke, but Audra didn’t mind. For years the only guy she had needed in her life was Szymon. Even now, she had this funny feeling that he was still the only guy she needed in her life. Still, her heart was heavy with years of pain that clouded her mind and muddled her feelings. She wasn’t sure what was real and what was the dramatized emotions resulting from their reunion. “Good,” she said softly, “Don’t go replacing me.”

“Oh yeah,” Audra laughed with a huge grin, “Total babe.” Honesty drove her words, Audra having always thought her best friend to be one of the most handsome guys she had ever seen. When he mentioned dating, Audra furrowed her brows in confusion, crinkling the corners of her eyes, and leaving her mouth pursed. “I don’t believe that. What was that girl you dated for a while those years ago...I feel like her name began with an M, but I also feel like that could be totally wrong. She was head over heels for you.” Audra remembered the pangs of jealousy she had felt seeing the girl with Szymon, going out of her way to be cold, and not even bothering to learn her name. Playfully, she poked his side, “You’re just as smart as I am, don’t go putting yourself down like that.” Her voice was kind and gentle until he insulted her art talents-or lack there of. “You’re no Monet yourself! I’ll have you know that I have gotten better.” Audra pouted, feigning hurt.