in your wildest d r e a m s

my style is constantly changing var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5308210"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=☼&e2=☼&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); --------- this is my life in pictures

[architectureofdoom]

House/office, Baronissi, Nicola Pagliara, 1968

[frehckul]

via styliantasts

[lady-vogue-deactivated20230306]

[existanted]

[11990904]

[pinkhaneul]

[labella-instagram]

[ts-uyu]

“You make lists in your head about what you want in a lover, like brown hair and a sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that actually makes you laugh like you mean it. This and that. And it’s all bullshit. Because people aren’t lists. And I’ve always wanted to be the person who made someone realize that. I want to come across someone with a list in their head that is nothing like the person I am, and I want to show them what they didn’t even know they were looking for. People who think they know what they want are fooling themselves. Nobody really knows what they want. Not until it’s right in front of them.”

— Anonymous (via suspend)

[deardarlingava]

[naturaekos]

““I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t.””

— Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner (via amargedom)

[august-m-o-o-n]

17

nobody's told me they love me since I was 17. and by nobody I mean no love interest. I'm telling you - 17 was the best age. It's been 6 years since a guy has told me he loves me. And I've begged and prayed for it to happen. For somebody to even just meet me and like me. And now that somebody might be falling for me all I can wish is that he stops. That he runs away like the rest of them. That he doesn't fall. Because I don't deserve someone like him; I'm not as pure or good hearted. And I say that because I don't feel the connection he says he feels, I'm just here to enjoy his temporary company.

But I'm letting him take me out. On expensive dates. And I'm sleeping over. Using his toothpaste. Making him walk me to my car in the morning. He kisses me goodbye and I don't feel a thing.

But I want to so badly. Desperately. I want to like him more than I do. Mostly so I don't feel as guilty about allowing him to invest himself in me. I try to think "it's only been a month how much can he like me," but then I remember I've been on the other side of that. and I know the answer.

I'm sure it's self destructive but all I want is an ex who's an addict, sober one year this month. I want him to miss me.

I'm sick to my stomach and absolutely exhausted. I took an Advil PM so I think I'll let myself fall asleep now and hopefully wake up without shakey knees; with more motivation and less self pity.

[adrenaline]

[tkkatherineblog]

[existenth-blog]

[lonniiii-deactivated20170829]

One of the biggest keys to surviving your 20’s is Learning how to move on. Move on from old friends, lovers & bad situations.

[august-m-o-o-n]

I don't know the last time I wrote. I don't remember the last post I've blogged or reposted. It's been many months too long. And I can't say I'm back for good, but I'm back right now.

If I'm being honest, I was not writing because I didn't want someone reading. I stopped sharing thoughts and feelings because I knew someone was watching. And I felt like I couldn't think freely. It wasn't bad blood. It was just the inability to be honest with myself and feel comfortable speaking truths (aka putting them in writing). Months formed habit. And I just stopped even opening my blog.

My mind lately has been a running list of things to do, ideas, and things I didn't do. It's sort of been constant chaos up there. The list has grown endless and I realize this must be what being an adult is like - never feeling like you've accomplished what you wanted to get done, and never feeling like you've done enough. Or maybe it's what having dreams as big as mine feels like.

There are tabs in my mind that just stay open.

So I thought writing might help them close down. Like I've finally realeased the thought I've been holding onto for months up in my head, simply because I was able to put words to it instead of leaving it floating around in space.

So here goes nothing. I'll sort of be starting from scratch in terms of discontinuing the old story line. I won't be deleting anything from the past, but I may not be picking up where I left off. Too much time has passed. Finding words to apply to the mess I let build in my head is my sole purpose for now. We'll see where this goes...

[prospects]