Pathfinder Giantslayer Campaign

[heaveninawildflower]

‘The Four Seasons’ (1923).

Oil paint by William Clarke Rice.

Image and text information courtesy Smithsonian American Art Museum.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

After Tinderfuse tried to make a fleshlight out of a pig, the group went on a wicked boat ride with a crew of half-orcs, burned a town mayors house down because she was involved with the slave trade, fought some giants, played an epic game of hide and seek with a demon (which is still on going), half the party died and the other half left while the halfling is the only OG member and that’s what you’ve missed on Giantslayers.

[greelin]

good responses to getting stabbed with a sword

rude

that’s fair

not again

are you gonna want this back or can i keep it

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

So needless to say, Tinderfuse did not purchase a pig anus. And in fact the halfling he was talking to is now scared of our group.

[cartooncoyote]

A sword that screams whenever you swing it, and the volume is directly tied with how fast its swung

[goobus-deactivated20171001]

Finally, a good post

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

So....our Alchemist has a sentient tumor on him, but also is now possessed by his wife. He wants to drain the tumor. So he can have sex with his dead wife. He wants to turn his sentient tumor named Cedric into a fleshlight.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

We enter a hall at the Vault of Thorns and it's filled with 5 aromatic flowers. They put Marelle and Tinderfuse to sleep for a whole fight.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

Tinderfuse started to jump across some lily pads with a rope as a guide. He misses his jump, is saved by the rope.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

He tries to swing himself from the ripe back up to the lily pad, misses and is saved from a 100 foot drop again by the rope.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

The rest of the party start taking bets on whether he is able to swing back up to the lilypads, will need help, or of he'll fall.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

Tinderfuse started to jump across some lily pads with a rope as a guide. He misses his jump, is saved by the rope.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

He tries to swing himself from the ripe back up to the lily pad, misses and is saved from a 100 foot drop again by the rope.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

Tinderfuse started to jump across some lily pads with a rope as a guide. He misses his jump, is saved by the rope.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

Over half our party was blinded by frigging feys.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

Kojiro and Halrex were bonding about their stronger stomachs, she started hitting on him. After a few thinly veiled innuendos, Kojiro finally understands what is happening. He consents to sex but doesn't fully get what sex with a full Orc is going to be. The next morning he exits her cabin, wide eyed and incredibly bowlegged.

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

Our Alchemist was making our breakfast this morning. He was also mixing potions at the same time. There is some cross contamination and he poisons most of our party, most of the Half-Orc crew, and the Half-Orc captain is in critical condition. Marelle and Tinderfuse are puking off the side of the boat for an hour while Kyras and Erisol are hurling for 4 hours. Kojiro is fine and just looks at us and says, "what? That was good."

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

GM: Can we get some bitching drake battle music? Half the party: You used to call me on my cell phone

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

No the unicorn thinks we are all Kojiro, that's why I wanted to fuck it!

Erisol

[aunicornhasmorecharismathanme]

We run into a paladin who, if lived in this world, looks like a member of Hillsong United. Under his robes his Henley is there and you can see the brief outline of a tattoo and he's got like prayer beads on his wrist and the perfect amount of stubble.

[hughgrantinpaddington2]

The ’Stranger Things’ kids reimagined as Dungeons & Dragons characters illustrated by Bob Al-Greene