Draft from earlier: traveling. Got food poisoning for the second time in three months and am now bedridden. Iām being cared for but itās still not fun and I keep asking myself why this happened.
Now, many hours later: Iām still not hyped but I am so glad I have my family with me, theyāve been so kind to me. Genuinely being cared for is always hard for me because I donāt like being helpless and I have a personality thatās always trying to help people. Doing things that make others happy is one of the only things that affirms my own value, even if I know that everyone has inherent value. Itās made me pretty emotional to realize how loved I am even when Iām not doing anything. I hope Iām better tomorrow; I still canāt walk easily because of fluid loss but Iām slowly getting stronger. I hope a good night of sleep will lay some of it to rest.

















