Serena Hawke-Theirin: The Woman In Black

I am a fantasy writer who as of late is working solely on fanfic for the Dragon Age games. I am currently working on a multi-fic series featuring six main characters including Alistair, Anders, Solona Amell, Gabrielle Hawke and two OC's

[authorella1]

Over the years, I’ve heard it said that people who commit suicide are selfish. That they cared more about ending their own pain than concerning themselves with the pain their deaths will inflict on everyone around them.

But here’s a thought. In the moment that someone decides to take their own life, what if they believe it’s the kindest thing they can do for their loved ones? People who suffer from severe depression often believe they are a drain on their families, friends, and the world at large. They see how their disorder affects everyone around them and how others suffer because of them.

So perhaps suicide isn’t selfish, after all. Perhaps, for some, they truly believe the world would be a better place without them in it, and it’s the most selfless act that they can think of.

[authorella1]

[howlsmovingapartmentcomplex]

@yourlocalpriestess and I have come together to create our own challenge for the month of August. 31 days, 31 fics. Posting this here in case anyone else is interested in participating in our challenge.

Shameless Fluff

A rare pair

Family

Something you don’t ship

Friends

A fandom you love but never write for

The bad thing that no one talks about

A long lost OTP

An Argument

An AU

Smut

Major Character Death

Hurt/Comfort

100 Word Drabble

Past, Present, Future all in the same fic

A piece from your life as fanfiction

Breaking Up

Involve your pet

Domestic Bliss

A Never Finished fic

A Holiday Celebration

A One-shot off of a longer fic

Under the age of 18/in their youth

A challenge given to you by someone else

Pre-Relationship

A crossover

Substance Use - Alcohol, drugs, etc.

A character doing your real life job

Graphic Depictions of Violence

Role Reversal

Gift fic

[howlsmovingapartmentcomplex]

Reminder that August is sooner than you think!! To clarify in case anyone has misunderstood, this is not an event @yourlocalpriestess and I are hosting, but a challenge we’re putting out into the air. Ultimately, you come up with your own rules for the challenge. What you see up there are the rules she and I have in place for ourselves. Good luck to everyone who is going for the challenge! I can’t speak for her, but feel free to pm me stories created from the challenge.

[howlsmovingapartmentcomplex]

WE START ON TUESDAY. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE PARTICIPATING. 

SEE YOU AT THE OTHER END. 

[authorella1]

The Boulder Incident

Anders blew a stray bit of dark blonde fringe out of his eye as he folded his thin arms across his chest. It was his way of letting Gabrielle know he was growing impatient with her stubborn pride. They had spent all morning and the better part of the afternoon on the Wounded Coast searching for a group of bandits who were wanted for terrorizing passing caravans. Gabrielle didn’t mind helping Aveline, but the pay was shite. Worse than that, she always spent more time than was necessary wandering the coast, which could potentially prevent her from taking better paying jobs.

“Are you ready to admit that you’re completely lost yet so we can go home?” the healer asked. “There are three expectant mothers in Lowtown I really need to look in on today.”

“I’m not lost,” Gabrielle lied. “I know exactly where we are.”

Anders donned a perturbed expression then pointed to a rather large boulder next to the path. “Really? Because I swear we’ve passed that same rock at least three times now.”

The space between the petite mage’s brows disappeared as she walked a circle around the stone, pretending to study it. She knew damned well her companion was correct, but she wasn’t about to admit that. Her pride wouldn’t allow it.

“No,” she argued. “This is a completely different one than before.”

The healer reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of kohl. “Alright. Let’s do this then. I’ll mark this boulder with a big X. That way, when we find ourselves back here again, you’ll know you need to go in a different direction.”

“Fine,” the woman retorted with a huff. “And when we don’t see this stupid fucking rock again, you’ll have to admit you were wrong.”

“Alright,” he agreed. “But only if you agree to do the same.”

Instead of answering his challenge, Gabrielle continued down the path, desperate to remember which road they took the last time they were there. With all the different forks and turns, she just couldn’t recall. As usual, she veered to the path on the right.

After an hour, her short legs felt as if they’d give way when they stopped right next to a large boulder with a big black X drawn across it. Her shoulders lifted and fell with an annoyed sigh as Anders pointed to the mark.

“Well, what do you have to say now?”

She screwed up her face for a moment before giving a casual shrug. “It’s not the same rock.”

The healer shook his head in bewilderment. “What the fuck do you mean it’s not the same rock. The mark I made is right there!”

“It’s not the same rock,” Gabrielle argued. “Look, I’m sure there are lots of people who make marks like that on large boulders, in case they get lost.”

Anders shoved his hand into his pocket and retrieved the piece of kohl. “Fine. I’ll make sure you have to admit it next time.”

With his face set in a determined expression, the healer proceeded to draw GABBY in large, bold letters on the other side of the stone. When he was finished he replaced the pencil in his pocket then snorted in exasperation.

He pointed to the path ahead. “Let’s go.”

It didn’t happen very often, but Anders had crossed the line between annoyed and angry. Gabrielle even thought she recognized a hint of blue in his amber eyes for just a moment. She told herself it didn’t matter. She’d manage to get them out this time.

Nearly an hour passed when they came to a large boulder on the side of the road with the word, GABBY, written across one side. Anders didn’t say a word, merely pointed to the name with a self-satisfied smirk. She knew she should admit defeat, but with that smug grin on the healer’s face, she just couldn’t do it.

“Must have been someone else named Gabby.”

There was no mistaking the blue flash across amber that time as the healer’s chest heaved up and down with the weight of each breath. He was furious with her, but she wasn’t about to back down. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at him.

They remained locked in a battle of wills until Anders smacked his lips together then stomped two steps forward. He halted in front of her, bent to grab her around the waist then threw her over his shoulder. She screamed and hollered for him to put her down, but the healer refused to grant her request.

Anders didn’t speak a word the entire way back to the city. Once inside the gates, he marched her through the streets of Kirkwall until they reached her uncle’s apartment then deposited her on the front stoop.

“You had no right to do that,” she admonished. “I had it under control. I’ve got a good mind to kick your ass.”

He glowered at her through the narrowed slits of his lids, leaving her to wonder if he’d ever talk to her again, let alone join her on any more jobs. After a long moment, his expression softened to a resigned smirk and a chuckle before planting a light kiss on the tip of her nose.

“See you tomorrow, Gabrielle,” he told her before disappearing into the passing crowd.

[authorella1]

Bedroom Hymns

Characters taken from the AU Dragon Age ficverse, “Kings and Queens of Promise”.

Cullen knelt at Andraste’s feet in Skyhold’s prayer sanctuary, folded his hands together, and peered up into the eyes of the stone statue. He rocked his weight back and forth, his face twisted with desperation.

 Blessed Andraste, forgive me. I know the lust in my heart is wrong, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Since the day I first saw her, she’s all I’ve ever wanted. For twelve years, I’ve tried to forget her face. Her kiss. But she’s left a mark on me. A mark I can’t wash away.

 And then today, being so near her…Forgive me my carnal thoughts. She’s a married woman. Take this temptation from me. Please, Maker.

“After all this time and everything you’ve seen, I can’t believe you still pray, Cullen.”

The commander halted in place. His jaw clenched so hard, he thought it might break from the pressure as his lids slammed shut. A war drum pounded within his chest. Was the Maker testing his fortitude? Why here? Why now?

The scent of her perfume did nothing to quell his heavy breathing. He squeezed his lids tighter. She was only a few feet away, standing by the wall to his left. Even without lyrium pumping through his bloodstream, he could feel her magic, made more intense by strong emotion. The very air crackled with its spark.

 Please. I am but a man. I cannot bear this temptation. Not this one.

“Are you just going to ignore me?” she asked, irritation coloring her voice.

He had to say something. Garrett might take offense at the commander of his armies being rude to Skyhold’s new administrator. As long as the Inquisition remained, the two of them would be forced to work together. Cullen would just have to learn to deal with it.

Inhaling a deep breath, he rose to his full height then turned to face her. Every thought, every inhibition left him upon meeting her lapis gaze. Her ruby lips curled into a wry smile, inciting a familiar stirring in his groin.

The breath he held escaped his lips in a deep, ragged growl as he rushed forward to gather Solona into his arms. He reveled in the intoxicating blend of peppermint and red wine on the tongue brushing against his as he pulled her tighter to his chest.

With one hand entangled in his golden waves, Solona used her other to reach under his wide leather belt and unbutton his trousers. The moment her fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, Cullen had to fight the overwhelming urge to cum.

His vows and his duty to the Maker forgotten, he lifted her skirts to discover she wore no smallclothes. A grin of satisfaction crossed his lips as he deepened their kiss and slid his middle finger between her folds to find her clit. When he began to trace small, gentle circles over her nub, she sighed into his mouth and stroked him faster.

She bucked her hips with abandon, her shoulders and chest trembling with every labored breath as he brought her closer to orgasm. Digging her nails into the nape of his neck, she pulled him closer and whimpered into his mouth as she came.

He removed her hand from his cock then bent at the knees to grab hold of her thighs and lift her from the ground. He pressed her back to the wall as he settled her onto his manhood and thrust his hips forward.

With one hand cradling her buttocks and the other gripping her shoulder, Cullen ravished her. Twelve years of need, of frustration over losing her, of denying his most base desires for her went into every thrust, every rock of his hips.

It didn’t matter that she was the High Queen of Ferelden. He didn’t care if she spent every night in the Inquisitor’s bed alongside five other people. There was nothing, no one else in the world but the two of them at that moment.

“Solona,” he growled, grazing his teeth over her earlobe.

Every muscle in his body tightened as his climax neared. Emotions he felt but hadn’t expressed since the day Solona left Kinloch poured from his lips as his orgasm overtook him and his seed erupted into her core.

“I love you,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “Maker help me, I love you.”

She clutched a handful of dampened curls at the back of his head and pulled his forehead to rest against hers. “I love you, too, Cullen. I always have.”

[authorella1]

My sketched rendering of Alistair Theirin from my AU fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise".

[authorella1]

Inverted color scheme of the concept sketch I drew for the Inquisition insignia of my OC Inquisitor Captain Garrett Malcolm Hawke from my AU Dragon Age fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise".

[authorella1]

Art I commissioned of Alistair and my OC Captain Garrett Hawke from my Dragon Age fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise". Artist is Sofía Aguinaco Merayo aka Shesvii from DeviantArt. You can check out her work here: http://shesvii.deviantart.com/

[authorella1]

Sketch I did of Warden Commander Solona Amell in both color and B&W. From my Dragon Age fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise".

[authorella1]

Sketch of my OC Inquisitor Garrett Hawke, older half brother of the Champion of Kirkwall. From my Dragon Age fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise" and first featured in "The True Tale of the Fifth Blight". Face model is Killian Jones/Captain Hook from OUAT

[authorella1]

I did a thing today. I'm not an artist by any stretch of the imagination, but I think he turned out pretty well. This is a drawing I did of my HC Anders from my Dragon Age fic series, "Kings and Queens of Promise". Face model for Anders is Tom Mison aka Ichabod Crane from "Sleepy Hollow"

[authorella1]

Miriana Amell by Lenamo Artwork I had commissioned for my OC, Miriana Amell from my Dragon Age AU fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise". Artist is Lenamo. Check her out her other amazing artwork on DeviantArt. http://lenamoart.deviantart.com

[badassunicorn2016]

Writing Tip June 4th

A list of body language phrases.

I’ve included a very comprehensive list, organized by the type of body movement, hand and arm movements, facial expressions etc. In some cases, a phrase fits more than one heading, so it may appear twice. Possible emotions are given after each BL phrase unless the emotion is indicated within the phrase. (They are underlined for emphasis, not due to a hyperlink.)

Note: I’ve included a few body postures and body conditions as they are non-verbal testimony to the character’s physical condition.

Have fun and generate your own ideas.:-)

Eyes, Brows and Forehead

arched a sly brow:  sly, haughty

blinked owlishly:  just waking, focusing, needs glasses

brows bumped together in a scowl:  worried, disapproving, irritated

brows knitted in a frown: worried, disapproval, thoughtful

bug-eyed:  surprised, fear, horror

cocky wink and confident smile:  over confidence, arrogant, good humor, sexy humor

eyes burned with hatred: besides hatred this might suggest maniacal feelings

eyes flashed: fury, defiance, lust, promise, seduction

eyes rolled skyward: disbelief, distrust, humor

forehead puckered:  thoughtful, worried, irritation

frustration crinkled her eyes

gaze dipped to her décolletage: sexual interest, attraction, lust

gimlet-eyed/narrowed eyes: irritation, thoughtful, mean, angry

gleam of deviltry:  humor, conniving, cunning

kept eye contact but her gaze became glazed: pretending interest where there is none/bordom

narrowed to crinkled slits:  angry, distrust

nystagmic eyes missed nothing (constantly shifting eyes):  Shifty

pupils dilated:  interested, attraction to opposite sex, fear

raked her with freezing contempt

slammed his eyes shut:  stunned, furious, pain

squinted in a furtive manner:  fearful, sneaky

stared with cow eyes:  surprised, disbelief, hopeful, lovestruck

subtle wink:  sexy, humor/sharing a joke, sarcasm

unrelenting stare: distrust, demanding, high interest, unyielding

Place To Place, Stationary Or Posture

ambled away:  relaxed, lazy

barged ahead:  rude, hurried

battled his way through the melee:  desperate, anger, alarm

cruised into the diner:  easy-going, feeling dapper, confident

dawdled alongside the road:  lazy, deliberate delay for motives, unhurried, relaxed

dragged his blanket in the dirt:   sadness/depressed, weary

edged closer to him:  sneaky, seeking comfort, seeking protection, seeking an audience

he stood straighter and straightened his tie:  sudden interest, sexual attraction

held his crotch and danced a frantic jig: demonstrates physical condition – he has to pee

hips rolled and undulated:  sexy walk, exaggerating for sex appeal

hovered over them with malice/like a threatening storm: here it’s malice, but one may hover for many reasons.

hunched over to look shorter:  appear inconspicuous, ashamed of actions, ashamed of height

leaped into action feet hammering the marbled floor:  eager, fear, joyous

long-legged strides:  hurried, impatient

lumbered across:  heavy steps of a big man in a hurry

minced her way up to him: timid, sneaky, insecure, dainty or pretense at dainty

paced/prowled the halls:  worried, worried impatience, impatient, diligently seeking pivoted on his heel and took off:  mistaken and changes direction, following orders, hurried, abrupt change of mind, angry retreat

plodded down the road:  unhurried, burdened, reluctant

practiced sensual stroll:  sexy, showing off

rammed her bare foot into her jeans: angry, rushed

rocked back and forth on his heels: thoughtful, impatiently waiting

sagged against the wall:  exhausted, disappointment

sallied forth:  confident, determined

sashayed her cute little fanny:  confident, determined, angered and determined

shrank into the angry crowd:  fear, insecure, seeking to elude

sketched a brief bow and assumed a regal pose: confident, mocking, snooty, arrogant skidded to an abrupt halt: change of heart, fear, surprise, shock

skulked on the edges of the crowd: sneaky, ashamed, timid

slithered through the door:  sneaky, evil, bad intentions

stormed toward her, pulling up short when: anger with a sudden surprise

swaggered into the class room:  over confident, proud, arrogant, conceited

tall erect posture:  confidence, military bearing

toe tapped a staccato rhythm:  impatience, irritation

tottered/staggered unsteadily then keeled over:  drunk, drugged, aged, ill

waltzed across the floor:  happy, blissful, exuberant, conceited, arrogant

Head Movement

cocked his head:  curiosity, smart-alecky, wondering, thoughtful

cocked his head left and rolled his eyes to right corner of the ceiling:  introspection

droop of his head: depressed, downcast, hiding true feelings

nodded vigorously: eager

tilted her head to one side while listening:  extreme interest, possibly sexual interest

Mouth And Jaw

a lackluster smile:  feigning cheerfulness

cigarette hung immobile in mouth: shock, lazy, uncaring, relaxed casualness

clinched his jaw at the sight:  angered, worried, surprised

curled her lips with icy contempt

expelled her breath in a whose:  relief, disappointment

gagged at the smell: disgust, distaste

gapped mouth stare:  surprised, shock, disbelief

gritted his teeth:  anger, irritation, holding back opinion

inhaled a sharp breath:  surprise, shock, fear, horror

licked her lips:  nervous, sexual attraction

lips primed: affronted, upset, insulted

lips pursed for a juicy kiss

lips pursed like she’d been chewing a lemon rind: dislike, angry, irritated, sarcasm

lips screwed into: irritation, anger, grimace, scorn

lips set in a grim line: sorrow, worried, fear of the worst

pursed her lips:  perturbed, waiting for a kiss

scarfed down the last biscuit:  physical hunger, greed

slack-mouthed:  total shock, disbelief

slow and sexy smile:  attraction, seductive, coy

smacked his lips: anticipation

smile congealed then melted into horror

smile dangled on the corner of his lips: cocky, sexy

smirked and tossed her hair over her shoulder:  conceit, sarcasm, over confident

sneered and flicked lint off his suit: sarcasm, conceit

spewed water and spit: shock

stuck out her tongue: humor, sarcasm, teasing, childish

toothy smile:  eagerness, hopeful

wary smile surfaced on her lips

Nose

nose wrinkled in distaste/at the aroma

nostrils flared:  anger, sexual attraction

nose in the air:  snooty, haughty

Face in General

crimson with fury

handed it over shame-faced

jutted his chin: confident, anger, forceful

managed a deadpan expression:  expressionless

muscles in her face tightened:  unsmiling, concealing emotions, anger, worried

rested his chin in his palm and looked thoughtful

rubbed a hand over his dark stubble:  thoughtful, ashamed of his appearance

screwed up her face:  anger, smiling, ready to cry, could almost be any emotion

sneered and flicked lint off his suit: conceit, derision, scorn

Arm and Hand

a vicious yank

arm curled around her waist, tugging her next to him:  possessive, pride, protective

bit her lip and glanced away:  shy, ashamed, insecure

brandished his fist:  anger, threatening, ready to fight, confident, show of pride

clamped his fingers into tender flesh:  anger, protective, wants to inflict pain

clenched his dirty little fists: stubborn, angry

clapped her hands on her hips, arms crooked like sugar bowel handles:  anger, demanding, disbelief

constantly twirled her hair and tucked it behind her ear:  attracted to the opposite sex, shy crossed his arms over his chest: waiting, impatient, putting a barrier

crushed the paper in his fist:  anger, surrender, discard

dived into the food: hunger, eager, greedy

doffed his hat:  polite gesture, mocking, teasing

doodled on the phone pad and tapped the air with her foot:  bored, inattention, introspection

drummed her fingers on the desk:  impatient, frustrated, bored

fanned her heated face with her hands: physically hot, embarrassed, indicating attraction

fiddled with his keys: nervous, bored

firm, palm to palm hand shake:  confident, honest

flipped him the bird: sarcastic discard

forked his fingers through his hair for the third time:  disquiet/consternation, worry, thoughtful

handed it over shame-faced:  guilt, shame

held his crotch and danced a frantic jig:  physical need to relieve himself

limp hand shake:  lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm

propped his elbow on his knee: relaxed, thoughtful

punched her pillow:  restless, can’t sleep, angry

rested his chin in his palm:  thoughful, worried

scratched his hairy belly and yawned:  indolent, bored, lazy, relaxed, just waking

shoulders lifted in a shrug:  doubtful, careless discard

slapped his face in front of God and country:  enraged, affronted/insulted

snapped a sharp salute:  respect, sarcastic gesture meaning the opposite of respect

snapped his fingers, expecting service:  arrogant, lack of respect, self-centered

sneered and flicked lint off his suit

spread her arms wide: welcoming,  joy, love

stabbed at the food: anger, hunger, determined

stood straighter and smoothed his tie:  sudden interest, possible sexual interest

stuffed his hands in his pockets: self-conscious, throwing up a barrier

sweaty handshake:  nervous, fearful

touched his arm several times while explaining:  sign of attraction, flattery, possessive

wide sweep of his arms:  welcoming, all inclusive gesture, horror

Sitting or Rising

collapsed in a stupor:  exhausted, drunk, drugged, disbelief

enthroned himself at the desk:  conceit, pronouncing or taking ownership

exploded out of the chair:  shock, eager, anger, supreme joy

roosted on the porch rail like a cock on a hen house roof:  claiming ownership, conceit, content

sat, squaring an ankle over one knee:  relaxed and open

slouched/wilted in a chair and paid languid attention to:  drowsy, lazy, depressed, disinterest, sad, totally relaxed, disrespectful

squirmed in his chair: ill at ease, nervous, needs the bathroom

Recline

flung himself into the bed: sad, depressed, exhausted, happy

prostrated himself: surrender, desperate, miserable, powerless, obsequious, fawning, flattering

punched her pillow:  can’t sleep, anger, frustrated

threw himself on the floor kicking and screaming: tantrum

Entire body and General

body stiffened at the remark:  offended, anger, alerted

body swayed to music:  dreamy, fond memories, enjoys the music

bounced in the car seat, pointing:  excitement, fear, eager

cowered behind his brother:  fear, shyness, coward, desperate

curled into a ball:  sorrow, fear, sleepy, defensive

heart galloping:  anxiety, joy, eager

held his crotch and danced a frantic jig

humped over his cane, each step shaking and careful: pain, aged

inhaled a deep breath and blew out slowly: buying time to find words/thoughtful, reconciled

quick and jerky like rusty cogs on a wheel:  unsure of actions, self-conscious, tense, edgy

rocked back and forth on his heels:  impatient, cocky, gleeful

manhandled the woman into a corner:  bully, anger

slumped shoulders: defeat, depressed, sad, surrender

stiff-backed:  priggish, haughty, affronted

stood straighter and straightened his tie:  sexual interest, wants to make an impression

stooped and bent: aged, arthritic, in pain

stretched extravagantly and yawned:  tired, bored, unconcerned

sweating uncontrollably: nervous, fear, guilt

tall erect posture:  confidence, military bearing

was panting now at:  afraid, exhausted, out of breath, sexual excitement

-Sharla Rae

[authorella1]

Two generations of The Woman in Black from my Dragon Age fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise".

[truetaleorigins]

Chapter One: The Angry Mage

—————

The corridors of the tower were narrower than the young apprentice recalled. Templar Lieutenant Colston lumbered along several steps ahead of her, his footsteps echoing off the stone walls of the otherwise empty hallway. Where was she headed? Breakfast? Supper? The apprentice couldn’t remember.

Someone’s arms were around her waist, lifting her feet from the floor and spinning her around. The scent of sandalwood and spice hung heavy in the air. A pair of soft lips graced her cheek as her toes touched the marble tiles once again.

“Good morning, love,” a familiar, husky voice whispered in her ear.

The young woman’s knees felt as if they would buckle when the arms let her go. Just as they always did. Just as she knew they always would. She watched the man as he sauntered away from her, the long legs of his overly tall frame taking extended strides. He headed straight for the attentions of another female. The other woman was much shorter and a bit older than her.

The young apprentice felt rage and sorrow tangle a web inside her gut when he repeated the action with the other woman. How could he do such a thing after sharing her bed the previous evening? Didn’t he care about her feelings at all?

Colston stopped in his tracks and turned to her. His eyes looked different. Darker. His mouth curved into a sympathetic smile.

“I can’t imagine how much that hurts,” the templar sympathized. “Too bad there isn’t a way to ensure he never shared his affections with anyone but you.”

The apprentice’s brow arched. What was Colston playing at? Why should he care about Anders and the relationship she desired to have with him more than anything else in the world?

“I know of a way to make that happen,” the templar continued. His grin was wider. More malevolent. “Follow me into that classroom up ahead. Zaria has a potion in her private stores that will cure all your ills. If you drink it, Anders will only have eyes for you. The best part is, he mixed it himself as an experiment.”

The apprentice’s lids narrowed as she studied Colston’s face and pondered the offer he had presented to her. Something about it was off. Something about the entire scenario was wrong. She tried to concentrate, but it was difficult to think. Her brain felt as if it were lost in fog and shadow. She closed her eyes and called a ball of light into her hand. It sprang to life, much quicker and larger than she expected.

The Fade. She was in the Fade. She opened her eyes to see the true form of the demon standing before her. Purple skin, black eyes, perfect in its feminine measurements. She exhaled a perturbed sigh and waved a dismissive hand.

“Begone, demon,” she commanded.

“But it is not that simple,” the spirit of desire smirked. “You know how this must end. Unless…perhaps we can make a deal. Anders can be yours and yours alone, you don’t even need to do anything right now. All I want in exchange is your promise. When you wake from this dream, you locate a spell hidden within the books of the tower’s libraries. With it, you will bind me to one of the other apprentices. That way, we both get what we want.”

The young woman dawned an expression of indifference. “As appealing as that sounds. The answer is still no.”

She called her magic to the ready. Lightning began to crackle around her fingertips. With a flick of her wrist, the apprentice flung the spell at the demon. It struggled for only a moment against the electric bolts before disappearing completely. It was much easier to defeat than she had imagined. Too easy, as a matter of fact.

The air grew heavy as darkness closed in all around her. Grey tendrils of smoke enveloped her body, making it difficult to breathe. The effect of the atmosphere brought waves of nausea to her stomach and she closed her eyes against the whirling vision.

The apprentice bolted upright in her bed. Her stomach remained unsettled. She turned her head to the sight of First Enchanter Irving beaming proudly at her.

“I knew you could do it child,” he told her. “You are even more brilliant than I gave you credit for.”

“Thank you, First Enchanter,” she replied.

“Now,” he said with a pat to her knee. “Follow me to my office. We have much to celebrate.”

Just as before with Colton, there was something off about the entire situation. Even if she was his only pupil, Irving would never come to her dormitory to congratulate her. He would have sent someone to tell her to meet him in his office. She scooted back on her bed and eyed him with suspicion.

“Why didn’t you just send Jowan to get me?” she questioned.

He laughed. There was something cold and ominous about the sound of it. Mirth without joy, unfeeling and sinister.

“You are too important to just send someone to fetch you, child,” he answered. “You’ve studied hard and proven yourself worthy of more than mere accolades. In my entire long life, I have never met anyone as brilliant as you. I have a suspicion that when my time as First Enchanter draws to a close, it will be you who takes my place. The youngest First Enchanter in the history of the Circle.”

The apprentice liked the sound of that. There would certainly be changes in the confines of the Circle if she were in charge. But something in the back of her mind was nagging at her. She couldn’t quite place it.

Irving stood and beckoned her to follow. She looked toward the door and saw only blackness on the other side where the lyrium lamps of the corridor should have been shining. She peered up into her mentor’s eyes and the irises flashed the color of ink for a split second.

“I have the sneakiest of suspicions that the demon of desire wasn’t my true foe,” she surmised.

Irving stopped. As he turned toward her, his shape morphed into the largest beast she had ever laid eyes upon. She had seen drawings of Pride demons in books, but she hadn’t realized how big they would really be.

The voice that resonated from the creature was booming, yet haunting. “Your pride will betray you one day, young one. Perhaps not now. Perhaps not in the Fade. But it could very well be your undoing.”

—————

Solona’s head was pounding as her lapis blue eyes blinked open. The dim light shining above her head was too harsh, too bright. She dropped her hands to her sides and scraped her nails across the wool of the blanket beneath her. The aching muscles of her right leg contracted as she stretched her foot to touch the large piece of wood at the edge of the bed with the tip of her toe. She ran the digit across the smooth surface until it touched upon deep scratches etched into its length.

She was in her own bed in the apprentice’s dormitory. Her Harrowing was complete and she managed to retain her head. As her vision began to clear, Solona realized someone was standing above her. She sat up, put her feet to the floor and rubbed her eyes, allowing the image of a dark haired young man to come into focus. The light was still glaring, but becoming more bearable.

“Were you planning on standing there watching me sleep all day?” she croaked. “Or did you want something?”

Her throat was sore, as if she had spent hours screaming, her mouth dry as the desert. Then she remembered the potion she was given just before her test. The aches and pains she felt must have been a result of that concoction.

She watched her best friend tuck a wisp of his thick, shoulder-length hair behind one of his large ears. He flashed a relieved smile, revealing a set of large, slightly crooked teeth and a pair of deep dimples in his cheeks. Even at the age of twenty-one, Jowan appeared to be nothing more than a tall, skinny boy. To anyone who didn’t know him, they would probably think him to be no older than fourteen or fifteen. His shy, self-depreciating demeanor only added to that effect.

“I’ve been waiting for hours. Thank the Maker you’re alright.”

The space between his heavy brows disappeared as his fingers began nervously fiddling with the front of his robes. There were obvious questions swirling around in his mind, questions he was afraid to ask. She waggled her head.

Spit it out, Miri.

That’s what Solona always said to Miriana when she behaved in such a manner. It had been fourteen years since the young mage had seen her sister, and it still never ceased to amaze her how much Jowan reminded her of her twin. Her brow arched with annoyance.

“Of course I’m alright. What did you expect?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I guess I was worried. When you disappeared yesterday morning and didn’t come back at all last night, I figured you had been taken for your Harrowing. Most mages get carried out in shrouds after the test. I thought that maybe…”

Solona folded her arms over her chest with a huff. “You were worried that I wouldn’t pass my Harrowing? You can’t be serious.”

She remembered what the demon said about her pride, and a cold shiver ran down her spine. It couldn’t be helped. Not in the tower. Confidence was key within the confines of the Circle. Those who wavered were eaten alive by the nest of vipers that called the place home. She straightened her shoulders and donned the mask of indifference she wore and knew all too well.

Jowan cringed at the harshness of her tone. His fingers moved faster as he awaited her inevitable admonishment, which irritated Solona even more. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly through pursed lips. She had to remind herself that he was her friend and she didn’t have to keep up appearances quite so much with him. He was merely concerned with her well-being and only because he cared.

After fourteen years in the Circle, Solona had become a master at backhanded compliments to those who held power and an expert in slinging insults at those she felt were beneath her. In honesty, she found people intolerable as a general rule. Most were stupid, disloyal, blatantly dishonest, and wore false humility like a badge of honor, all of which were insufferable characteristics to her. They were traits she exposed and manipulated in others for her own advantage, and she felt justified in the deed. In her mind, they deserved it, and most would do the same to her if given the opportunity. Through loyalty and general sincerity, Jowan happened to be the exception to the rule.

Still, most people who watched the two of them believed her to be overly cruel and critical to the boy she claimed was her best friend. Solona didn’t see it that way. He was the one person she was always honest with. It was true, she was harsh in her criticisms of him. But her words were meant to serve as a way to toughen his resolve and help him grow a thicker skin. Any insults she afforded him were nearly always made in jest. The only exception to that was when her temper got the best of her, but it happened so rarely with him.

“Just sit down,” she finally ordered with exasperation when she realized he was beginning to back toward the door.

The apprentice skulked to her bunk and settled himself as far away from his friend as he could before concentrating on his twiddling thumbs. “I’m sorry,” he said, his apology quiet and timid. “I couldn’t help it. I was worried.”

“It’s alright, Jowan” she relented with a sigh. “I’m just a bit out of sorts.” He continued to fidget with his face set in a scowl. “Okay, out with it. What’s on that thing you call a mind?”

“What was it like?” he asked. “I’ve heard it’s like facing the Void itself.”

“Let’s just say you have to use your brain. Not that difficult, really.” She smirked. “Of course, that means you’ll be in serious trouble when your time comes.” Jowan pouted the way he always did when she teased him. She rolled her eyes. “Oh, lighten up. You know I’m only kidding.” His sullen expression remained unchanged. She sighed. “You’ll be fine, Jowan.”

Had it been any other apprentice, Solona’s taunts would not only have continued, but probably worsened. She couldn’t bring herself to do that to Jowan, though. She loved him. Not romantically, of course. He just wasn’t her type. But like a brother.

“I’m sorry, Solona. I can’t help it. I’ve been here longer than you have.”

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You’ve been here, what? A whole two months longer than me? All you have to do is quit setting the instructors’ hair on fire.”

He shook his head despondently. “It’s not like I can stay an apprentice forever,” he whispered as if he hadn’t heard a word she said. “And there are things far worse than death.”

“As usual, you’re worrying over nothing,” she chided. “But I’ll help you if need me to.”

“And how are you going to do that now that you’ll be living upstairs?” he questioned, seemingly out of the trancelike state he was in just moments before. “We won’t have the same classes anymore. We won’t even have the same meal times. I doubt you’ll have time to even talk to me, let alone help me. And even if you do get the chance…you probably won’t want to.”

She cupped his chin and turned his face so he could see into her eyes. His green orbs glistened in the nearby lyrium lamp and tears stained his cheeks. She swiped at them with the flats of her thumbs.

“You’re my best friend…my brother. I’m not going to just move upstairs and forget about you. We’re all each other has, and we’ll always be together. Always have been, always will be. No matter what. I won’t have it any other way.”

For a moment, she thought she saw something in his eyes. Something she recognized. Something she had seen in her former lover Anders’ amber orbs too many times over the years. She dropped her hands to her lap and glared at him.

“Speaking of which, best friend, where in Andraste’s name have you been sneaking off to after lights out every night? You’re not planning on trying to escape are you?”

The question was only half made in jest. He jumped to his feet as if the seat of his pants were on fire.

“I almost forgot, I was supposed to tell you to see Irving as soon as you woke up.”

Solona’s stomach turned, and she swallowed past a lump in her throat. She had to control her fear. He couldn’t possibly be thinking of running. Not him. Not Jowan. In an effort to hide her misgivings, she cocked her left brow and smacked her lips.

“Evade the question, if you want, but I will find out. I always do.”

“We’ll talk about it later” he sighed. “Alright?”

“Fine” she huffed. “But don’t think I’ll forget about this.”

His expression turned to a grimace before he circled and disappeared through the doorway. Solona immediately went to the dressing table next to her bunk and began brushing out her shoulder-length, sable brown hair. Her lapis eyes stung against the salty tears forming within them. How could he even think about doing such a thing? Was it her? Had he finally gotten tired of putting up with her intolerance and bitchiness just like everyone else?

Maybe it wasn’t that. Maybe it was something else. There had been rumors floating around that he was a blood mage, but Solona knew better. Jowan really did have trouble mastering minor flame spells, and had actually caught an instructor’s hair on fire a few years back. He’d probably kill himself if he ever attempted using blood magic. Whatever it was, he was going to tell her, even if she had to beat it out of him.

After rinsing her mouth and popping a peppermint leaf between her teeth and jaw, Solona did a quick job of her makeup then headed for Irving’s office. When she reached the main rotunda on the second floor, she decided to make a detour through the library first. She wanted to see if she could catch a glimpse of the newest templar who had been assigned to the tower. She had heard that Riker was tall, well-built and extremely handsome, and Solona wanted to see him for herself.

She couldn’t explain it, but she had always found herself attracted to the men who watched over the mages. She supposed it was probably due to the fact that fraternization between mages and templars in the tower was strictly forbidden. The illicit trysts she had with them over the years were certainly enjoyable and always felt dangerous and intriguing.

Unfortunately, the only templar guarding the library that morning was Shepland and he was an ugly old coot with a bad attitude and even worse breath.

Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

As she rounded the corner to the mage’s rooms, Solona espied the templar who had become her latest potential conquest over the past several months, and her foul mood picked up instantly. Teasing Cullen had become one of her favorite pastimes following Anders’ last escape, and she did it every chance she got. He was just so different than her former lover. Quite his opposite, in fact, aside from the color of his hair and slightly deeper brown eyes.

Where Anders was extremely tall, Cullen stood at just under six feet. Anders was thin and lanky, and Cullen muscular. Anders’ hair hung in long, loose curls down past his shoulders when unbound. Cullen’s was trimmed short and neat and lay back in gentle waves across the top.

The most striking difference between the two men, though, were their personalities. Both were handsome, but where Anders was always very aware of his good looks, Cullen seemed oblivious to his own. Although charming to a fault, age and experience had made the healer extremely arrogant. The templar, on the other hand, was young and shy. They were traits Solona never found particularly attractive before, but after the ceaseless heartache she had endured at the hands of her previous lover, she felt the need for a change. One that might finally allow her soul to heal without becoming overly attached. Cullen was a templar, after all. How far could their relationship ever actually go?

Solona had been in love with Anders for years, since the age of thirteen. Although he was much older than her, she had been infatuated with him from the first time she saw him when she was eleven. He was all she thought a man should be, and she was determined that he would be her first lover.

After the first time they were intimate, Solona tried everything to win the healer’s heart, but nothing she did ever seemed to work. He always held her at an emotional distance, refusing to acknowledge they were ever anything more than friends with benefits. Still, she loved him with everything she was.

The last time she shared a bed with Anders, she awoke alone, as usual. She thought nothing of it at first and headed to find Jowan in the dining hall. She spent the entire day looking for the healer, but he was nowhere to be found. No kisses on the cheek or greetings of “Hello, Love,” in the corridors that she had become accustomed to over the previous few months.

The next morning as she sat there at the long dining table next to Jowan, eating another breakfast of bland oatmeal, she heard chatter about her lover’s latest escape. He hadn’t said a word, but snuck out of bed and disappeared as if he were never there. Just the way he had so many times before. Just the way he promised he would never do again.

A little more than a month later, Solona was walking the Senior Enchanter’s floor, when she discovered Anders had been brought back to Kinloch. She made her way to the First Enchanter’s office where she was told her lover had been sentenced to a year in the dungeons. She begged Irving to allow her to visit him, although she wasn’t sure herself if it would be to console him or confront him.

When the old Enchanter refused, she stormed out of his office and straight back to the apprentice’s dormitory where she lay in her bunk until well after lights out. She then strolled between the bunks until she found a younger man with hair as blonde as Anders’ but cut and combed instead of long and loose. After very little convincing, she led him to her bed and told him to fuck her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pawed at him with wild abandon until she reached her climax.

As soon as it was over, she shoved him out of her bed. She then pulled the blankets close to her chest, turned to the wall, and forced herself to sleep with the scent of her former lover’s cologne on her pillow assaulting her senses. Since that time, she had taken many lovers to her bed, but none of them ever filled the empty chasm Anders left in her heart.

She supposed a great deal of her interest in Cullen lay in the fact that Anders always hated the younger man. He seemed irritated whenever the templar was around. Almost jealous. She wondered how the healer would feel if he ever found out she took Cullen to her bed. What if she were to actually become romantically involved with him? Perhaps then, Anders would know a little of what he had put her through. Sexual conquests never bothered the healer, but a true relationship might finally open his eyes.

Although Solona had been trying for months, perhaps now that she had passed her Harrowing, it was finally time. Perhaps Cullen would finally give in to her flirting and coquettish grins. The young mage donned her most winning smile and strode up to the object of her desire.

“Hello Cullen” she greeted him cheerfully.

Cullen began fidgeting nervously. “Oh…um…hello, Miss Amell.”

Solona tilted her head to the side and flashed a wry smirk. “Cullen, how many times do I have to remind you? Call me Solona.”

“I…I’m sorry…I just can’t do that” he stammered.

“I’ll get you to do it someday” she proclaimed as she took a step closer to him. “Now that I’m moving up to the second floor, I suppose we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”

He gulped. “Y…yes…I suppose. C…congratulations on passing your Harrowing, by the way.”

“Thank you” she smiled. “You were there weren’t you?”

He nodded. “Yes…I was given the duty to…well, you know…if anything went wrong.”

Solona moved forward another step until she could feel his warm breath caressing her face and pouted. She wrapped one of his blonde tendrils around her index finger and twirled it playfully. “You wouldn’t have really cut me down, would you Cullen?”

The templar tried to retreat back a step, but the wall at his rear stopped him in his tracks. Sadness filled his apologetic brown eyes. “I wouldn’t have relished doing it, but I would have done my duty if it had been required of me.”

“It’s alright, Cullen. I understand, but it does make me feel better to know you wouldn’t have enjoyed the job.”

He searched her eyes longingly. “Of course I wouldn’t have…Solona.”

She glanced down the corridor to either side before putting her mouth next to his ear. “Thank you, Cullen…for caring” she whispered before letting her lips softly touch his cheek.

Solona felt his body shudder against hers at the contact. His natural musk mixed with his cologne was enough to make her light-headed. A familiar stirring against the bottom of her belly prompted her to reach down with her unoccupied hand and run her fingers across the bulge protruding from his uniform as she slowly pulled away.

His face was bright red as he flashed a shy, boyish grin. “My shift ends just before supper this evening, perhaps…maybe we can talk more then?”

Solona nodded. “That would be lovely, Cullen. I look forward to it.”

She turned to head to Irving’s office, but stopped to wave back at him over her shoulder. Perhaps she could convince Cullen at supper to join her in her room after lights out. If they shared a pleasant enough evening in her bed, maybe he would even consider an ongoing affair. Templars were notorious for discussing their sexual conquests among each other. Perhaps the news of an ongoing liaison between the mage and the templar would reach Anders’ ears in the dungeons. It was certainly an exciting prospect.

—————

Solona, of course, has decided she must approve of every chapter, especially the ones I write about her. She told me, “Don’t you dare turn me into Miri the way Varric did.”

She gave me the basics of what happened, what was said, and how she was feeling at the time, so I ran with it.

Well, sweetheart, I hope this meets with your approval.

-G

—————

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[authorella1]

Finally got my page completed for The True Tale Of The Fifth Blight-Book One: Origins.

[authorella1]

Updated Anders from my Dragon Age fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise".

[authorella1]

Gabrielle Hawke from my current Dragon Age fanfiction series, "Kings and Queens of Promise".