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[autism-asks]

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Hey Lovely Followers,

The inbox is now open!

-Wren

[autism-asks]

Does listening to podcasts also count as stimming?

Not everyone who listens to podcasts is stimming, but it definitely can be!

-Wren

[autism-asks]

Can a neurodivergent person be sensory-seeking in some areas and sensory-avoidant in others? If I tend to get overstimulated by textures and sounds, does it still make sense for me to crave strong tasting food or bright colors?

Or is it supposed to be a binary where you're either overstimulated or understimulated in all senses?

Can the same person have both meltdowns and shutdowns?

Not only can we be sensory seeking for one sense while sensory avoidant in another, we can be both for the same sense, depending on intensity among other things!

Yes, one person can have both meltdowns and shutdowns.

-Wren

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ITASPIN if I have been completely enthralled in learning everything about dogs since around 1st grade and use it as an escape and a way to recharge? I do suspect I'm autistic but haven't been diagnosed

Yes, that sounds like a special interest!

-Wren

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Do any other autistic folk have really mixed/contrasting feelings about vibration? Like vibrating chairs are great, and I often like to touch things that are continuously vibrating like a dryer, but shorter bursts of vibration such as from a phone or game remote makes me really irrationally angry. I have turned off all vibration on my phone that I could, because it really can put me out for an entire day just for my phone to buzz. It's both the tactile feel and the noise, I think, but like I said if it's for longer periods even at the same volume/intensity it's fine and even particularly calming. (Sadly there's no way to turn off the aggressive buzz when my phone dies and I often end up panicking and either dropping my phone and booking it, or simply throwing the thing onto the nearest soft object when I realize it's run out of battery 😅 just happened again so I thought I'd ask if it's not just me)

This sounds like a sensory thing to me!

-Wren

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So, quick warning. This turned out to be more of a vent/rant than I intended.

My mum always acts surprised when I do things for myself. She'll ask if I ate while she was out and is surprised that I managed to cook instant noodles or make a sandwich by myself (I'm 15). She says that it's becuase I'm the youngest and she worries about me but I worry that it's to do with me being autistic (she's aware of it but she tends to deny it). I'm not sure how to bring this up to her without her brushing it off and saying I'm overreacting. If you can't help or anything, that's fine. I needed to get this off my chest more than anything. <3

The same thing happened to me with my mum's husband when I still lived with them.

He'd constantly be surprised about things like me managing my own bank account, brushing my own hair, cooking when I was hungry etc.

I'm pretty confrontational though, so I just ended up having a fight with him about that and he stopped after that.

For what it's worth, I'm the elder child, and I was given the same explanation that 'you're the oldest so I'm not sure how things are supposed to go and I'm worried' so I think it might actually be regular old parents being parents rather than an ableism thing.

That doesn't make it any less annoying though. Can you ask her to sit down with you for a serious conversation, maybe over tea or something like that so she at least has to hear you out to finish her drink?

Do our followers have any advice for anon?

-mod wren

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For me, hitting my head on things is a neutral stim. I don't just do it when I'm experiencing an extreme emotion, I also do it casually when I'm sitting against a wall or something too because I like how it feels. I don't hit my head very hard, but it's probably still not something I should do. Do you know of any good replacement stims that would give a similar feeling?

The first thing that comes to mind is to put something soft between your head and the surface so at least the impact is softened a bit, but that might also affect how you experience the stim.

Maybe something like headbanging in the way metal/rock fans often do could be a good replacement?

Do our followers have any ideas?

-mod wren

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Would it be bad/disrespectful to people with less/no verbal speaking abilities for someone with almost full verbal speech to use/consider using aac part-time? Most days I can communicate clearly, but I have (rare) days or parts of days where it takes more energy to talk, even though I still can. I tend to talk a lot less when I get like that. Other times I trip over my words or say the wrong ones a lot before I correct myself. Would it be using an aid that I don't need to use aac sometimes?

If you need the aid on just one day out of a whole year, if you feel it will be useful to you, if it makes you feel more secure, then you not only can, but should use it.

There's no short supply you're taking away from someone who 'needs it more', there's no limits on how often an aac app can be downloaded, there's no limit to how many people are allowed to learn sign language etc. (and ofc there's many other means of communication that fall under aac)

If it helps you and you can access it, use it.

-mod wren

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Hoping the mods are doing okay!

The mods got busy for a bit there, thanks for checking in!

-mod wren

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Is it an autism thing that when someone says “good morning” or something similar to me, I don’t answer? I’m not exactly sure how to explain it but I hear them say good morning I just don’t feel the need to say it back? Like, I just don’t think that expression really solicits a response.

This falls under social reciprocity and yes it's aat!

-mod wren

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Growing up autistic is slowly coming to the realization that the people you know, who you love and who love you, never considered you human in the first place. You're supposed to be grateful they have the affection for you one has for a pet.

Hey, it sounds like you're going through a rough patch at the moment. We can’t find a question in your ask though and it also sounds like you’re talking about a situation that is very specific to you so it is difficult for us to respond to your ask. We do hope you feel better soon and find support. Please keep in mind that being autistic does not automatically mean that other people don’t consider you human. You’re welcome to send another ask if you have a question.

-Wren and Kath

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How can I learn to generate more original speech? I'll never be able to change my actual self, wouldn't want to either, but I'd love to get better at responding to others with my own thoughts and not just repeating them.

As you say, you will never be able to change your actual self. It’s less important to come up with witty one liners or deep thoughtful speeches than it is important that you are putting your words together the way only you can. 

That doesn’t mean every word has to be an original one, even if not a single sentence you ever say is one you put together yourself word for word, only you can make them come out in the order and in the way that you do.

So our advice is to work on self esteem and self acceptance, to work to being in a place where you can accept, and be confident, that while the actual words may not be innovating, the way you make them happen, is. 

-Kath and Wren 

[autism-asks]

Is it an normal/okay/etc for social difficulties to appear later on (like in middle and high school)? Because as a young kid people just called me bold, loud, and kind of awkward (I have a story of getting a Rubix cube for my 6th birthday and then loudly announcing that I didn't like Rubix cubes). But now I'm noticing more problems as there's more pressure to get things right.

Yes. For many autistic people autistic traits only become really noticeable when they feel very stressed or overwhelmed. Life typically becomes more demanding as you get older, including social life which becomes more complex as you get older. For many autistic people who may have been well-supported or been able to make up for any difficulties they may have already had during childhood, this happens around the time puberty hits/ in their teens or other points in their life that feel especially overwhelming or that come with a lot of change.

-Kath

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hello question, can stims be harmful? i'm pretty sure something i do counts as a stim but i'm also pretty sure it's harmful to my hair

Yes, some stims can be harmful. Stims are just sensory-seeking behaviours and sometimes those can be harmful.

-Kath

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For water anon— I think unfortunately since we need water there’s not much you can do but it could be helpful to use a straw, or I find it super helpful to just get like..... a litre of water and drink it all in one go so if it’s a drink I don’t like (like water) so that it gets it out of the way all in one go if that’s helpful x

                                                                                                                                 and                                        

For the liquid sensory anon, have you tried thick it? Its something that makes liquids thicker and easier to swallow. I'm not sure if it changes the texture, but i lt could help with things being too liquidy.

For this anon.

Thanks!

-Kath

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Hello, recently I have been researching a ton about autism (specifically in afab people), and I really do think I have ASD. My family does not believe me, and thinks that I want something to be wrong with me? That is definitely not true. I have a psychiatrist appt. coming up to address these concerns, but when we had out first appt. he had said that it is not likely because I am well spoken? I am just afraid that I will be misdiagnosed due to his stereotyping people with ASD, what should I do?

I’m really sorry to hear your psychiatrist seems to treat you under the assumption that autistic people cannot be well-spoken (they can).

Something very similar happened to me when I was younger and it was extremely frustrating and upsetting. What helped me was to find a doctor who I knew to be an expert on autism. Autism assessments when done properly aren’t a matter of “well, you don’t seem autistic after the first few minutes of talking to you” but rather a matter of filling out many different questionnaires, family members filling out questionnaires, both you and family being interviewed about symptoms and family history etc.

If your psychiatrist feels confident to diagnose you with or rule out autism based on talking to you briefly and doesn’t seem to be aware that it is possible for autistic people to be well-spoken or hide autistic traits, he may not be qualified and it might help to look around for someone else.

You can ask doctors how much experience they have with any given diagnosis, how many patients/ clients they’ve seen with that diagnosis, if they have experience with people masking their traits etc. to help you determine where they stand.

Good luck!

-Kath

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Do you have any posts or resources on how comorbid ADHD/autism presents? If not could you still post this ask to see if any followers have resources? Also many of the links on your "Resources" page seem to be broken :(

Thanks for checking our resources page before sending in an ask! Mod Wren is currently in the process of fixing any broken links we come across.

In the mean time, maybe one of these links will be helpful to you:

https://autism-asks.tumblr.com/post/159982546821/what-is-the-difference-between-autism-adhd-and

https://strangerdarkerbetter.wordpress.com/2016/10/27/autism-with-a-side-of-adhd/

https://autism-asks.tumblr.com/post/161277964381/so-i-know-someone-can-have-autism-and-add-and-that

https://actuallyadhd.tumblr.com/post/117637029570/adhd-self-diagnosis

Are these links working for you?

-Kath