To Love and Be Loved

instagram: @auvralux

[auvra]

My babies 🥺🥀

Their story is bittersweet caused by the lack of communication, lack of time, and misunderstandings weaved from their individual disillusioned thinking.

In those seven years of navigating through his new beginning, I wanna know how Till lived from day to day.

I wanna know how he feels, what he thinks, and what he does now that he's free from the stage and free from the people he once knew.

Does he count the days, weeks, months, years that go by? Like a reminder of the widening gap between the present and the past where Ivan is forever frozen at 22. Does he have days where he's reminiscent of his time at Anakt Garden and cringe at his past actions and mistake? Does he think about his friends? Does he think about Ivan and think hard and long about the past situation he was in and see the various signs he should've seen?

Is his tongue ever present with the melancholic taste of regret at the thought of fumbling such a pivotal situation that could've changed the trajectory of his life —both of their lives? That he should've listened and continued to hold the hand of the man who loved him. And that in every sight he passes by, would it have been the same one with Ivan by his side if they successfully escaped the first time around?

Does he instinctively turn his head to the side and expect Ivan to be there like he always would have—only to find empty space. Subconsciously reaching out for a hand that always seems to be a few feet away but now nowhere to be found. Looking up at the night sky and trying to remember what it felt like to hold the hand that held his so dearly.

I wanna knowwww I wanna knowww Till you still have so much more to tell

[auvra]

A stray dog and I...what difference does it make?

Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with your eyes or if your moral compass is as skewed as mine. Cause I can't help but wonder how you could hold such affection for me.

How could someone of your pedigree stoop so low? Born loved, born cared for while I had to claw my way out for meager scraps, bruised—black and blue. Yet you reached out your hand for mine to take. And I was insulted to be helped because of pity. And envious that you had the capacity to be kind to a filthy, vile thing.

But my hunger outweighed my pride and I ate from the hand that fed me in rabid fervor.

Because how could I turn away after having a taste of bliss? No matter how many times a stray dog gets kicked, one act of kindness is all it takes for it to come crawling back to humanity's arms again. In the end, it made itself look like a fool for wanting to be loved...

Because a stray dog is a greedy dog and I could only hope you're just as greedy as me.

[auvra]

Where is Peak Lord Shen Jiu Qingqiu going?

On a moonless night, I saw Shizun walking, seemingly in a daze. A Peak Lord like him has no business walking barefoot where all kinds of creatures and critters cross his path. And certainly not where it was so far from his abode. I followed diligently with a lamp in hand.

Then he suddenly stopped and turned around. I was scared. Yet he only looked at me—no—he looked past me as if I wasn't even there in front of him. And I swore the light of the lamp looked redder than usual.

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

I will regret this and shouldn't make wheels at 2am but

This tumblr sexyman is your son!

Are you proud of him

yes!

somewhat

I shouldn't be but yes

No

NO.

I'm disowning him

I am scared of him

Results

Voting ended onJun 24

(sorry if your favourite is not in this poll, I went mostly off the contenders from this year's poll and the classics)

[auvra]

I did this trend on tiktok (yes, finally succumbed to tiktok) because I just wanted to see Shen Jiu being the villain everyone in the novel oh so portrays. Because if he were to actually be an irredeemable villain then imma make sure he looks good terrorizing everyone. Because he is my mother.

[auvra]

At the Lingxi Caves where your voice was now forever drowned out by the perpetual head splitting ring in my ears. The only times I had wished to hear your crude words over the silence I had asked of you time and time again.

[archerdepartures116]

lqg is getting beat up all over on twitter rn bros not having a good week

[mousjoy]

Bspice meeting VMousse part finally!

Context:

Sm used to send her to Bspice when she 'misbehaved' or acted out. Spice in my Au is very much..worn out. He doesnt have much of a spirit left to fight against smilks demands so he just plays along

Hes conflicted. Since he doesnt feel as lonely as he usually does when Vm is there

Bspice's boredom and feeling of an unfulfilled fate left him as a complete husk of his past self, even though the kulfi treat him with such kindness despite what hes done, he still constantly rejects any attempt of connection, rehabilitation or redemption.

[auvra]

WIP of my cancelled father

[auvra]

I tried Clip Studio Paint on mobile last night and who better to test it on than Phos my baby. This is solely the oil paint brush

[darkandstormyart]

just another monday

[auvra]

[wolfythewitch]

They're trying to silence me but they can't

[wolfythewitch]

For context they blocked Tumblr in the Philippines and labelled it a gambling site lmao

[johnny-depp-is-loved]

in the end we are all creatures in need of love and comfort

[cale-thames]

No, seriously— who is Yu Ryeo Han-nim's favourite character?! It definitely couldn't be Cale! He loves to torture him way too much for that!!

As a writer— I know it's fun to torture your characters (guilty). But it looks like Yu Ryeo Han has no intention of giving our poor Cale the slacker life he wants so badly!!!

On the other hand, he is giving Clopeh VIP treatment!

Clopeh is getting to watch his legend from so close. He also got called "hyung" by Cale. And he also got so many other things he wanted! Not to mention every time Clopeh appears, Yu Ryeo Han-nim is like:

"First, let's explain in detail how beautiful his smile is. Then we will start looking into other things."

[loratea]

would love to see a liujiu fic where pidw liu qingge watches everything unfold after his death and he gets pissed off enough at the fact that shen qingqiu gets blamed for murdering him and doesn’t even fight the accusations that he ends up going back in time, regressing all the way back to when they were disciples. this time around, he takes it upon himself to help improve sqq’s cultivation out of a place of duty and gratitude because even though sqq doesn’t remember that he tried to save lqg’s life, lqg remembers and that’s what matters. despite the fact that sqq still manages to get under his skin, lqg is a man of honor and he will repay his debt.

(lqg also plays a more active big brother role this time around. he refuses to acknowledge a future where his sister is one of hundreds of wives— and married to a half-demon, no less!)

sqq is not happy about lqg’s sudden change in behavior and is downright suspicious of his motives but he can’t figure out why his shidi is trying to be nice to him. he eventually just assumes lqg has a concussion or ate something weird because that is the only thing that could explain his behavior. meanwhile lqg can’t fathom why sqq seems more pissed off at him now than before (and trying to make any sense of sqq is an immediate headache).

the well incident happens again, just as it had in the past. but this time, lqg turns just a few seconds earlier and sees sqq take down a resentful spirit that was silently creeping behind him, ready to strike.

by this point, lqg wants to pull out his hair because what do you mean his shixiong wasn’t a backstabber but instead had saved his life back then, and refused to tell the truth that would have cleared his name?! this was the same behavior that led to his arms and legs being torn off in the original timeline— a gruesome scene that even lqg as a ghost had had a difficult time watching. lqg doesn’t understand sqq At All.

meanwhile sqq is equal parts mortified that his least favorite shidi knows that he saved his life and curious to see just how far he can push lqg in the name of “repaying” this debt. If he could manipulate his shidi into dealing with several pests in sqq’s life, that would be a definite plus.

in the end, sqq very quickly regrets not letting that spirit kill lqg back at the well. first, he starts dropping monster carcasses on sqq’s doorstep, getting blood everywhere. and then he has the audacity to tell yue qingyuan and the rest of the head disciples that sqq saved his life!!!

(sqq doesn’t realize lqg is fluent in fan language. he signs “I hate you” over and over with his fan during the head disciple meeting, scowling with just the tiniest bit of red tinting his cheeks. things finally start to click for lqg— sqq is embarrassed. the tenth “I hate you” is signed and lqg flashes an unrepentant, toothy grin at sqq. sqq nearly cracks his fan in half.)

[auvra]

Happy New Year Guys 🥳

A little late since I procrastinated for a while but hey...I still finished it.

[auvra]

is an old sketch but I still love it