ALL WE DO IS THINK ABOUT THE FEELINGS THAT WE HIDE

Daughter of Hawkeye & Mockingbird Call me Ava Honor. Courage. Committment. oo-ra

[avaaa-bartcn]

[ text >> ✉ >> from: @allivstark​ ] —— I woke up to a half empty bottle of cider on my dresser. I drank it and have no regrets. Morning.

[ text >> ✉ >> ANYTHING U SEND ULL REGRET FUCKER ] —— wow. morning.                      ( she’d changed the name years ago.                            an attempt to stop thinking about the past. ) [ UNSENT text >> ✉ >> ANYTHING U SEND ULL REGRET FUCKER ] —— u know u were a serious bitch in the hal [ UNSENT text >> ✉ >> ANYTHING U SEND ULL REGRET FUCKER ] —— are we talking now did u just decid [ UNSENT text >> ✉ >> ANYTHING U SEND ULL REGRET FUCKER ] —— wtf [ text >> ✉ >> ANYTHING U SEND ULL REGRET FUCKER ] —— rough night? was it a good cider at least??

[avaaa-bartcn]

[ text >> ✉ >> from: @nctphased ] —— Why are you saved in my phone as ‘Prison Wife’?

[ text >> ✉ >> no-walls-mcgee ] —— it’s my thing [ text >> ✉ >> no-walls-mcgee ] —— just accept it

[rpmemeries]

❝30 texts to send to my muse:❞ | Sentence Starter

[avaaa-bartcn]

rpmemeries:

Warning(s): Alcohol

[ text ]: I woke up to a half empty bottle of cider on my dresser. I drank it and have no regrets. Morning.

[ text ]: I’d ask why there’s pictures of Kayne West all over my bedroom floor but I don’t actually want an answer at this point.

[ text ]: I can hear your life falling apart through the ceiling.  Shut up.

[ text ]: I just googled ‘Rarest Pepe’ and I’m crying.

[ text ]: I just brought the Spice Girls Greatest Hits.

[ text ]: I’ve had nothing to do all day so I’ve been learning the lyrics to ‘Trap Queen’.

[ text ]: Be proud of drunk me. I managed to only eat HALF of a large pizza this time.

[ text ]: We all got really drunk and communally agreed Bucky Barnes was a ‘cute little button babe’.

[ text ]: What a massive egotistical penis.

[ text ]: Does today require people clothes or can I just wear my pyjamas?

[ text ]: I’m certain he heard me shout and LOUDLY ‘nap time comes before pants time’.

[ text ]: I’m not responding to this because I have died. I’m dead. Dead people don’t answer texts.

[ text ]: I think I’m going to retire and become a hermit.

[ text ]: I want Lucky Charms.

[ text ]: I’m not surprised he didn’t show up. He didn’t arrange it.

[ text ]: I miss hugging you and smelling your hair (in a non-weird way!).

[ text ]: Why are you saved in my phone as ‘Prison Wife’?

[ text ]: I was in the middle of a check-up and the doctor quoted Jurrassic Park at me.

[ text ]: I replaced your apple juice with whiskey six months ago.

[ text ]: Why did you send me pictures of yourself dressed in all of my coats?

[ text ]: I’ve watched so much Peppa Pig I am reaching my point of insanity.

[ text ]: What a complete ball of Human-shaped trash.

[ text ]: You need to stop shouting about Communism in public places.

[ text ]: I was just legitimately asked if Human was a form of meat.

[ text ]: The Devil has a British accent.

[ text ]: You kept making train noises all night. Are you okay?

[ text ]: I just brought some muscle cream and I smell like a herb garden.

[ text ]: I think our neighbour may have gone rabid.

[ text ]: I realise we were joking at the time but are you considering a stripping career?

[ text ]: I don’t want to go out today. I’d rather wear wet socks all day.

[ jessica ] & [ avery ] & [ meg ] & [ tommy ] & [ oliver ]

dinah & sid & sofia & estela

anna & cassie lang & lorna 

[drcpetomani-blog]

[ 📲 • sms from @ava-bartcn ] —— hey what are you doing?

[ text >> ✉ >> ava ] —— nothing           ( she’s in the dark, listening to music with her head under her pillow again. so.             it’s sort of not a lie.) [ text >> ✉ >> ava ] —— why? whats up?  

[avaaa-bartcn]

[ text >> ✉ >> lil bird ] —— lets go do something [ text >> ✉ >> lil bird ] —— i keep locking myself in my room and sth tells me u do too [ UNSENT text >> ✉ >> lil bird ] —— so if u wont tell me why ur so sad all the tim [ text >> ✉ >> lil bird ] —— would u still terrorize a household for some pizza rolls? i want some fuckin pizza rolls.

[pinkdirector]

[ @ava-bartcn texted ]: I’d ask why there’s pictures of Kayne West all over my bedroom floor but I don’t actually want an answer at this point.

[ text >> ✉ >> avangel ] —— bcuz h is the kanye beST AVA  [ text >> ✉ >> avangel ] —— also cus like i said u ndd to mrry rich & he is rich & fab [ text >> ✉ >> avangel ] —— b kany & kims mistressssss

[avaaa-bartcn]

[ text >> ✉ >> lil meg furiosa ]  —— look im sorry to interrupt, and imma let u finish, but beyonce is the best of ALL TIME [ text >> ✉ >> lil meg furiosa ]  —— alright i hear u with the marrying rich but kanye aint cute [ text >> ✉ >> lil meg furiosa ]  —— KIM IS HOT AS FUCK. kanye aint cute c’mon bae u got better taste than that [ text >> ✉ >> lil meg furiosa ]  —— honestly id rather chrissy & john, my ultimate fucking power couple & john legend singin me to sleep every night???? yes fuckin plz

[pinkdirector]

@ava-bartcn said:  “I don’t think I know how to love…”

        “—does anyone?” her tone’s soft, a hand moving         to play with ava’s hair as she listens to the girl.       “honestly. you’re barking up the wrong tree, honey.      i don’t do—” she paused, searching for the words.       “love. like that.” what brought this on?

[avaaa-bartcn]

Ava barely knew she was talking before she realized what she said. She had to resist the strong urge to roll her eyes at herself, instead sighing, “I don’t know, maybe all this stupid Valentines Day shit,” she shrugged, turning to look at the girl playing in her hair directly, “Well how do you love? Whatever the fuck I’m doing is clearly working wonders.

[avaaa-bartcn]

♬

a headcanon on childhood

As a little girl, Ava had a fire inside that would wear her father down to the core. Her enhanced physiology made even Hawkeye give up on keeping up with his daughter. Her mother, however, found it easy to keep up. Ava grew up learning every sport imaginable with the help of Bobbi, a way to wear her down to the point of napping and relaxing. For the longest time, Ava proudly proclaimed that they were the best team in the world. Bobbi never really had the heart to tell her little girl they were cheating just a little bit on that front. She left that discovery for later.

[avaaa-bartcn]

beenshocked:

“Something… not covered in motor oil?” she teased, nudging the mechanic with a grin. “It suits you.” When Ava complimented her, she lit up, having not expected it. She hadn’t seen the other woman since their chance encounter, when she’d saved her from the fire mutant that had attacked her. “Thank you! That means a lot to me. I technically volunteered to be a chaperone, but it’s proven boring so far. What about you…? Do you want to dance?”

“Yeah, feels nice to be clean once in a while,” she agreed with a chuckle, tucking her hair behind her ear. She wasn’t normally nervous about... anything, really. But the fact that Leslie had helped Ava when she was completely (infuriatingly) defenseless. That show of weakness didn’t make Ava feel great, but Leslie didn’t exactly seem ready to exploit it in any way. In fact, any distrust was replaced with a bit of surprise at the request to dance, “Oh-- uh, yeah,” Ava shrugged off her surprise, “Yeah, let’s dance,” Ava smiled, purposefully avoiding talking about the fact that she went to the dance because she missed any growing up, figuring she may as well see what the fuss was about.

[avaaa-bartcn]

attitudeprcblems:

It’s true that Nate hasn’t been in the best state lately. It’s almost a miracle he’s out and about at all. But his sister’s dorm had gotten cramped with three of them and he really needed to go somewhere he wouldn’t be judged for smoking. And now he’s at the range, his high wearing off and the anxiety setting back in. He comes back to reality as Ava touches his face, blinking away the bleariness. “Huh?” He asks, taking a second to process her words. “Oh. ‘M not… Shouldn’t be shootin’.” His words are slurred in a way that’s almost like he doesn’t want to put more effort behind them. “Don’t wanna be talkin’, either. So just….” He shrugs, hoping Ava will just leave him alone to his moping, as she put it. They’re friends, sure, arrow buddies, sure, but Nate… just isn’t sure he wants to open the whole can of worms about his feelings. And he isn’t sure that Ava would want to even hear it.

“Even while drunk or high, something tells me you won’t shoot your eye out,” Ava rolled her eyes as she looked at him for one more moment before slipping a hand to his back and giving him a solid push forward, “No talkin? Shootin’ then. Don’t try to argue pothead, I’ll win,” her words were harsh, but her tone was affectionate in true caring Ava style. She led them over to the stall, taking out her bow and handing it to him wordlessly. She grabbed a handful of arrows, handing him one, “Nock it. Breathe. Shoot. Repeat. And not in the first learning to shoot kind of way, I know you know that. Nock, take a sec to do nothing but breathe, empty whatever the fuck’s got you like this, then shoot. And then do it again and again,” she already has another arrow ready to hand him, “If you don’t get it out somehow, you’re gunna fuckin’ regret it, take it from me.”

[avaaa-bartcn]

headcanon: at 17 years old, for Alli Stark’s 15th birthday, Ava Barton took her to get them both matching tattoos, courtesy of an older professional Ava knew. 

@allivstark

Ava has generally taken to wearing sleeves that will cover this tattoo, a difficult reminder of the friendship that she couldn’t salvage

[rosalebeau-deactivated20180824]

Ezekiel was slowly making his way through the campus, making mental notes over certain things. He stopped at a bench and sat down, noticing someone sitting already and decided he needed to make conversation to know more about his surrounding. “Ah school, the one place that I thought I would never see again and yet here I am. My feelings of hatred toward it has not change at all. What about you, big fan of this place?“ He said with an award winning smile.

[avaaa-bartcn]

Ava found that working indoors all the time was just too stuffy, so it wasn’t totally unusual to see her bent over a textbook and a notebook. However, it was unusual to drag a smile out of her so quickly, but once she looked up to see Ezekiel sitting next to her, the woman cracked a grin with ease, “Well well, look who it is,” she shut her book with the notebook inside to mark her spot, “Nope, but it beats a hell of a lot of other options. What brings you here, and are you stickin’ around?”

[avaaa-bartcn]

@drcpetomani avery leans on ava's shoulder

Glancing over at Avery with a little smile, Ava begins leaning against her, though gentler, before she wrapped her arm around her little sister to hug her close, “Cat got your tongue? Too lazy to sit up? Same here, honestly,” she chuckles before she pulls them both to fall back on her bed, “Fuck sitting. Fuck effort.”

[avaaa-bartcn]

summergvthrie:

summer shook the other girls hand , her cheeks flushing just barely . “ summer and i see you can see angels , only the most beautiful people can do that . “

Ava couldn’t help but smirk at the blush she saw, “Well, in my experience Summer, two beautiful people like us should be dancing together, spinning across the floor like royalty, hmm?” between the alcohol and the knowledge this girl was a mutant, Ava was growing more and more bold.

[avaaa-bartcn]

weapxnisedgirl:

The kick was stronger than Klara expected from a human, making her go back a few feet despite her weight and strength in this form. But she bounced back, ignoring the bruise that would inevitably form on her torso later. With an involuntary snarl, she pounced again, trying this time to pin Ava down.

Ava cried out, partly from frustration as the cat came right back. In her brief moment without the large cat hurtling towards her, Ava managed to get onto her feet again, ready the next time. She didn’t have enough time to roll out of the way, so instead she launched her shoulder into Klara’s middle again, deciding this was the only weak spot the shape-shifter would make vulnerable.

Once recovered, Ava panted and stared at the animal-- er, girl, “Where the fuck are you from?” 

[avaaa-bartcn]

@attitudeprcblems

Ava was at either the archery or the gun range once a day, if not both in the same day. Say what you will, the woman liked to shoot, it was in her blood. Much like it was in Nathaniel Lance Queen’s blood, a fact that hadn’t escaped their friendship. She smiled when she saw him at the range, though that faded when she saw how he looked. Worried Sick sorta covered it... along with high as shit. She smelled it about 10 feet away, and closed the distance between them easily, leaning her bow and arrows against a post, “Fancy meeting you here,” he was tapping his leg and was just wholly out of it. She knew a feeling similar, and decided to snap him out of it. She gently tap-slapped his cheek.

“You talk or you shoot. Moping and shit ain’t and option for you right now. Pick one, or I will.”

[avaaa-bartcn]

beenshocked:

Ava had a reputation on campus for being cheaper than regular mechanics and just as good. So when Leslie’s car had crapped out on her today, it only made sense she’d have it towed so that the young mechanic could work on it. She had just paid the tow truck driver and was about to make her way over to the mechanic to get an ETA when she saw a sketchy looking dude in a black hoodie saunter up to her. Leslie stood for a moment, assessing the situation before she saw him lob a fireball her way. It definitely didn’t seem like a fun interaction between friends.

Though she had never had cause to jump in and save someone before, she knew instantly that she should. As Livewire she’d been a villain just like this guy, preying on the weak and getting her jollies from the adrenaline such thrill produced. She could have easily walked away and let whatever was going to happen, happen. But when she saw the look of fear on the mechanic’s face, she had a sharp pain in her stomach. Leslie couldn’t just stand back and let this asshole hurt an innocent woman.

“Hey, Firestarter!” She shouted in an attempt to get the attacker’s attention as she advanced on him. Leslie wanted to draw his attention away from Ava and make herself the target. At least she had powers to protect herself. “Looks like you’ve met your MATCH.” Taking a breath, she concentrated and extended her hand, shooting out a bolt of lightning and striking the guy in the gut. She didn’t do it hard enough to kill him as that wasn’t her intention, but she’d apparently held back too much because he was still standing.

“I don’t know about you, buddy, but I am ec-STATIC to meet you.” Sneering she started forward, giving him a second blast to the chest. He fell to his knees, breathing hard but still conscious. Now close enough to him to make contact, she pressed her index fingers against his temples and gave him a shock powerful enough to render him unconscious.

Once she was sure he was no longer a threat, Leslie approached Ava with a look of sympathy. She’d never been sympathetic in her life. It felt a lot like indigestion. “You alright? I know that had to be shocking.” Wincing a bit at her own lame pun, she grinned. “Sorry. I used to do the whole clever quips thing back in the day. Old habits die hard…” As her gaze fell onto the man lying on the pavement, she considered what action they should take. “We should call campus security, or maybe an ambulance. What do you think?”

As the flame ball shot past her, Ava stumbled away, tripped, and fell backwards. The landing jolted her back into reality and out of her head. Back to the present. Perhaps it was the puns that clicked her senses back into order, or her enhanced body combating whatever negative impact this panicked flashback had caused. She didn’t know, she didn’t care. She stumbled up to her feet just in time to see Leslie touch his temple and knock him out.

“Fuck--” she huffed, shaking her head as he crumpled to the ground. She stared for a moment, looking away only when she saw his torso move as he breathed. By that time, Leslie was in front of her and began speaking. Ava took half a step back before her thoughts caught up to her.

You’re not about to back away from someone that saved your fuckin’ life, mutant or not. Despite her fears, it was clear Leslie wasn’t interested in hurting her, so Ava consciously brought her feet together again, not backing away. She found herself chuckling, “How many puns you got locked up there?” she laugh was nervous, getting extra energy out, but she quieted herself, “I’m good now. I don’t know what I was doing. What the fuck...” she shook her head, meeting Leslie’s gaze and shifting it back down to the fire mutant. She stared at the lump for a moment, resisting the urge to go over and hurt him more, “Thanks. Security I guess. He’s breathing,” taking another deep breath, she tried to cool off more, “Fuck man... thanks,” she repeated, not in one of her more eloquent states of mind. 

[avaaa-bartcn]

drcpetomani:

          she’s between classes and deciding if she wants to really go to her 

        next one, honestly. there’s the possibility of sleeping, you know? leaving        to her dorm and just. sleeping. she can try again tomorrow. going to one      class was enough today, wasn’t it? more than enough honestly. just curl up      in her bed. she can imagine it now.

        she’s so lost in her thoughts she doesn’t notice the girl across       from her staring. not at first. not until a voice rustles her from her      thoughts, laughing about her having an admirer— and avery isn’t afraid     to admit she freezes at first. the idea of someone from the avengers    seeing her— a former friend confronting her again— there’s tons of     possibilities and they all terrify her. she wants to run already just at the thought. 

all the possibilities terrify her, she thought. until she looks towards the other and—

      it’s not a family friend. not a childhood companion angry and bitter.      it’s a face she hasn’t seen in years. (one she dreamed about as a child,      sought out when she was sleepy and scared. someone who, when she       went away, started avery down on the path she’s on now.)

       avery doesn’t realize she’s crying until she feels the tears hit her cheeks,       dripping down. her hands are to her mouth and she swallows, eyes wide.

                              it’s ava.

                                        it’s her sister.

             (and she abandoned axel. but she didn’t abandon ava. their parents             and their family abandoned her. SCREWED HER OVER and avery         burns still thinking about it. she doesn’t blame ava for never coming home.         AVERY DIDN’T EITHER, DID SHE? and she wasn’t betrayed like ava was.                         WASN’T HURT LIKE THAT.)

“ava—” the words feel caught in her throat and she steps forward, into her sister’s outstretched hands and wraps her own around her. 

“i didn’t— no one told me—”

Avery is in her arms and Ava holding on for dearr life at this point. She’s dazed. She was so prepared coming into the school. She had been briefed of every single person, memorized how they had grown, the best ways to communicate to achieve her goal here. Ava and her team spent days going over details, and Ava even challenged them with questions and disagreements. After all, so many of these people were those she’d grown with. She had the edge here.

Nothing had prepared Ava for crying and holding her sister. How had they missed this? Ava had asked about her sister, but all they knew was that she fell off the grid. It was one of many thoughts Ava had been avoiding, but now everything came to hit her in the face. 

“Aves, god--” she can’t even hide that she’s crying into her shoulder. Was it from happiness at seeing one of the few people she could trust? (She couldn’t trust anyone here. Not really. Not on assignment.) Was it from the guilt that had slowly been piling on top her? She wasn’t sure. The only sure thing was her sister in her arms. For the moment, that was okay.

“How’d you stay off the grid so long?” She wasn’t angry, more concerned. Ava also moved only enough to look at her sister’s face. The older girl also didn’t even think about the question, her first slip of knowledge she’d obtained from her handlers. Too preoccupied, she didn’t even notice, “For once, this small fuckin’ world does something good,” her tone is wry, but her eyes show nothing but happiness, even with the tears. In that moment, it was just them.