a couple minutes
synopsis: after the breakup, you and daniela still kept on seeing each other, doing things exes wouldn’t usually do.
⋆ pairing: daniela avanzini x gn reader ⋆ warnings: angst (fluff in the end), ending a relationship, profanity/curse words, mentions of fire and alcohol, violence ⋆ word count: 10.7k
notes: just thought about this while listening to olivia dean’s ‘a couple minutes’ track. (highly suggest listening to that while reading, esp the colors version). this just might be my favorite piece of work ever so i hope u all enjoy! partly proof read (sorry)
it happened on a tuesday night.
inside your cozy apartment, there you sat—slumped over the couch. you just got home after a busy day at work, so you thought it would be a great idea to put on your favorite show.
desperate housewives played on the television as you munched on the chinese takeout you picked up on the way home.
tonight was not any different from the other nights you spent at your apartment. as usual, you would come home late and tired. and watching shows right after gave you a sense of comfort. a sense of ease. you had no idea why.
maybe it was because it distracted you from whatever’s going on in your head. instead of contemplating and pining over your not-so-pleasant thoughts, these shows give you something else to think about. you get to focus more on what happens in the series rather than the problems you have to face later on in life.
though, you admit that it isn’t a great coping mechanism. but it gets the job done.
now, you were thinking whether to finish all the episodes from season 7 of desperate housewives tonight, or hop on call of duty warzone later with your friends. you basically had the whole night free since you didn’t have to go to work tomorrow (which rarely happens since your company forces its workers to be workaholics) due to a renovation happening in your workplace.
but your girlfriend seemed to have other plans.
as you were halfway through episode 5, a few soft knocks sounded from your door. you raise an eyebrow before pausing the show. you slowly stood up from the couch, cautiously making your way to the door.
you weren’t expecting anyone today. and at this time of night. you believed each step you take caused multiple hairs on your arm to stand. you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t creeped out.
“i really need to stop watching those thriller movies.” you muttered under your breath.
you got to the door, sighing nervously before glancing at the peephole.
you dramatically sighed in relief when you saw that it was just your girlfriend, daniela.
seeing your girlfriend shiver in the cold outside, you quickly unlocked the door. “baby, what are you doing here?”
“hey.”
hey? just a “hey?”
your eyebrows scrunched for a millisecond before it returned to its original state. you didn’t want to overthink the small gesture, but throughout the whole five years of your relationship, daniela had never done just that. she always greeted you by wrapping her arms around your neck whenever the both of you saw each other.
ignoring the unease settling into your mind, you opened the door wider as she stepped inside, quickly heading to the sofa.
“to what do i owe the pleasure, miss?” you say with a playful tone, closing the door and following her—plopping down on the soft foam of your couch, inching near her.
“can we talk?” she turned her head to face you, her hazel eyes meeting yours.
oh.
no. oh god, no.
the unease that was slowly creeping into your mind had made its way to your stomach. it felt like there was a bottomless pit forming inside of you. you gulp, your heart beating faster than it was a few minutes ago. it started to pump so rapidly as if it wanted to escape your ribcage.
you’re just overthinking. you tell yourself that. that she’s just going to open up to you about something—a personal problem of hers or maybe an issue she wants to talk about so the both of you can resolve it.
but this felt different. when daniela walked in, the energy of your apartment changed. instead of the homey vibe it usually gave off, the atmosphere felt suffocating. your apartment that the both of you sought comfort in, barely even felt like solace now. maybe it’s the tension that built up between you and daniela for the past weeks, but it just really felt way off—way too far from the countless moments you both spent time together here.
when daniela would come over, she always made your apartment feel more cozy.
cozy in a way like she definitely belonged there. like she was meant to always come home with you.
this living room, where the two of you sit now, has experienced every night you’ve shared together. this room alone has witnessed the unfolding of your love. it had seen you and daniela long before you both developed feelings for each other. the walls of this same exact living room have gathered the echoes of your memories with your lovely girlfriend over the five years you’ve shared together. she made this place feel like home. like her presence was what your apartment needed. like she was the missing piece.
you can recall how the both of you would spend your nights laid on the couch, bodies cuddled up and pressed together while a familiar series plays in the background. the way when the both of you would come home with takeout, laying it all out on the table while you both just talk all throughout the night.
you pause your thinking for a split second—absolutely having no idea how you’re processing all these things that were entering your head. your eyes are still on daniela’s, but your mind is somewhere else. somewhere far away.
you sighed, remembering. again. trying to remember all the times you and daniela spent with each other as if you’ll forget everything. your throat tightens.
the thought of forgetting the memories and never being able to experience them with daniela again made you want to throw up.
you ponder even more. why are you even thinking about this? is it because when something’s nearing an end, you tend to think about the beginning?
you haven’t even answered her.
your eyes drift away from daniela’s, settling themselves on the kitchen.
suddenly, memories came rushing back.
especially that one night when the two of you somehow convinced yourselves that baking cookies at an ungodly hour was a brilliant idea.
well, “the two of you” might be a bit generous.
daniela had been the one actually baking. she stood at the counter, sleeves pushed up, carefully mixing the dough while you played the very important role of handing her ingredients whenever she asked. though, if you were being honest, you spent far more time admiring your girlfriend than helping her.
which was exactly why a terrible idea crossed your mind.
daniela’s attention remained fixed on the bowl in front of her, one hand steadying it while the other worked the spatula through the thickening dough. meanwhile, you quietly dipped your finger into the bag of flour, a mischievous grin tugging at your lips.
completely oblivious, she continued mixing as you sidled up beside her.
and the second she turned her head to look at you—
SWOOSH!
a streak of flour decorated her cheek.
“y/n!” daniela gasped, eyes widening in disbelief as she immediately reached for her face.
you barely had time to laugh before she grabbed a handful of flour and smeared it across yours. “ha!”
“babe!” you protested.
“hey, you started it!” she shot back. “i’m just returning the favor.”
“daniela, you practically hit me with the whole bag.” you laughed as you brushed flour from your face.
“you receive tenfold of what you give, baby.” a smug grin spread across her face. but it disappeared the moment you snatched the bag and dusted another cloud of flour over her.
“oh, it’s on.” before you could even reply, daniela already lunged for the bag.
you held it high above your head with one hand while the other wrapped around her waist to keep her close. she stretched and reached, determined to grab it, but her efforts were hopeless. being taller than your girlfriend really has its advantages.
after a moment, her arms dropped to her sides.
you smirked. she finally gave up. or so you thought.
without warning, her hands found your sides. your eyes widened. she knew exactly where you were ticklish.
“dani—”
a startled laugh escaped you as you jerked away, accidentally tilting the bag in the process. a thick cloud of flour exploded into the air. and all over both of you.
“daniela!” you cried through your laughter. “okay, okay—you win, baby!”
you quickly set the bag on the counter before she could do any more damage.
reaching for her wrists, you gently guided her arms over your shoulders instead. your hands found themselves at her waist. “i—”
“pretty smooth, right?” you ask teasingly, flashing her a grin.
she scoffed and rolled her eyes, though the smile threatening her lips gave her away.
you pulled her closer until there was barely any space left between you. for a moment, neither of you spoke. the both of you simply just stood there, covered in flour, staring at one another.
her eyes drifted to your lips. the action caused the corner of your mouth to twitch upward. before you could say anything, she rose onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips against yours. you kissed her back instantly. and while daniela melted into the kiss, you quietly reached behind you and got a hold of the flour bag again.
she leaned in further, arms looping around your neck as she deepened the kiss. her fingers slipped into your hair as she tilted her head slightly, brushing her tongue against your lips in silent invitation. you parted your lips, but just before she could fully kiss you senseless—you dumped the rest of the flour over both of your heads. a white cloud erupted around the both of you, which broke the kiss immediately.
you remember dani’s annoyed face clear as day. the thought of that moment made you smile.
“y/n?” daniela broke the silence, snapping you out of your thoughts and quickly wiping off the small smile that made its way to your lips.
“i’m sorry.” you clear your throat, eyes meeting her once again. “what were you saying?”
she looked away.
is it bad that you were almost 100% certain what would escape her lips? not that you were anticipating it. you were just expecting it at this point so that it wouldn’t end up hurting far more in the end.
daniela stared at the lamp beside the television for a while. then she cleared her throat, still not looking at you.
“y/n, let’s break up.”
her words hit you like a speeding truck. of course, you already had a hunch on what was bound to happen, but you can’t help but hope that you were mistaken.
daniela returned her gaze on you, allowing you to see her teary eyes. maybe that was what got you.
you tore away from the eye contact, your face seeping into your hands as you started to bawl, her words finally dawning on you.
you cried even more realizing that you didn’t even ask why immediately. like you’ve already accepted it. but of course, that wasn’t the case.
“why?” was all you could mutter out. you were tired from everything—tons of workloads and inexplicable deadlines in the office, constant expectations from your family dawning on you, and of course, your relationship with daniela.
you admit, you and daniela have been rocky for a few months now. you’re not dense and you noticed it, way back when it started. you know that she also noticed how your relationship was slowly deteriorating, but never spoke up about it. the both of you never bothered to bring it up nor talk about it.
until now.
“i…” she started, a tear slipping off her cheek. “…think we’re growing apart.” she continued, moving closer to you. “i know you’ve noticed it too. instead of us growing together, it feels like we’re slowly inching away from each other.”
you sob at daniela’s words, the sound tearing itself from your throat before you could stop it. “i–”
before you could get it out of your chest, you cry even harder. your chest ached with everything you wanted to say. you remained silent for a while, not because you didn’t know the words. but because you didn’t know if you could do this.
you didn’t know if you could wake up every morning without looking forward to talking to her, or even without counting down the days until your next date. the thought of a future where daniela isn’t in it seemed so unbearable.
and it terrified you. so bad.
after months of ignoring the problem and forcing yourself to believe that the both of you were doing okay, it finally came to a moment where you would face it together.
“i’m sorry, dani.” you let out.
daniela’s shoulders immediately dropped when you said that. her left hand made its way to your lap, while the other reached for your face, wiping off the tears that dared to leave your eyes.
“you don’t have anything to be sorry for, baby.” daniela’s lips curved into a faint smile, trembling beneath the weight of the ache lodged deep in her chest. every word felt heavy, like she was forcing them past the grief threatening to swallow her whole.
“i guess it just happens,” her voice was quiet, almost fragile. “we drifted apart trying to find ourselves.”
her hand slid slowly down your side until it settled at your waist. then she pulled you closer, wrapping her arms around you as if she could somehow hold onto what was already slipping through her fingers.
“but we grew together, dani. we spent five years together. we got to experience different versions of us.” your voice cracked around the words. you let out a shaky breath, your forehead resting against her shoulder for a moment.
the silence stretched between you and her.
“i don’t want to do this, dani. i know we can go through this.” your eyes burned as you looked at her. daniela buried her face in the crook of your shoulder, her sobs muffled against the fabric of your sweater.
“y/n, i just don’t see it anymore.” she whispered, her voice trembling.
you could’ve sworn that was the fifteenth time your heart had dropped that night. each time somehow hurt more than the last. but you still managed to ask her, “see what?”
a broken sound escaped her before she answered.
“us.” the word shattered between you.
daniela cried even harder, her fingers clutching at your sweater as though she couldn’t bear to let go just yet.
“maybe we’ll end up together in the end,” she said through uneven breaths, “but i don’t think we’re supposed to continue our relationship right now.”
your chest tightened as she continued, “i just feel like we’re growing apart from each other—and that’s not a bad thing, it doesn’t mean we failed. it’s just… part of life—and i feel like we need to go our separate ways to grow even more.”
you slowly pulled away from her. not because you wanted distance, but because you wanted to see her. like you’re trying to memorize her face before you lose the ability to see.
your gaze wandered across every feature of daniela’s you had spent years loving. you looked at her as if your memory alone could preserve her, as if committing her face to your heart would somehow make losing her hurt less.
your hands rose to cup her cheeks. the moment your eyes met hers, fresh tears gathered in your own.
daniela looked so vulnerable. how could she not?
she was letting go of the love of her life.
she was letting go of you. the person who had become her home. the person who knew her more than herself. you saw her in ways no one else did.
letting you go felt like tearing down the very foundation she’d built herself upon. to daniela, it felt like setting fire to a home the both of you had spent years creating and then standing there helplessly as she watched it burn down to the ground.
it wasn’t just a loss of having a partner. it was losing the person who experienced every version of her throughout the years and still chose to stay.
and daniela knew that one day, when enough time had passed and her heart was healed enough to try again, she’d go out and meet new people. she’d learn new names, hear new stories, and maybe even fall in love again.
but she’d never stop searching for pieces of you in them.
and that was the problem. because she could never replace you. no matter how hard she tried, she would never find another y/n. she loves you too much. maybe even more than she loves herself. but she would never admit that.
daniela’s arms tightened around you, holding on as though she could somehow stop this moment from happening. her tears streamed down her cheeks as sob after sob shook through her body.
she was falling apart.
even though she was the one to initiate the break up, you never once doubted how much she loved you. not even for a second, because you know she truly did.
you saw it in the way her eyes always found yours in a crowded room. in the small things she remembered about you that everyone else wouldn’t remember. in every gentle touch, every sacrifice, every version of herself she had shared with you. you saw it in everything she did.
you saw it in her.
your arms wrapped around her, one hand cradling the back of her head as you pulled her even closer. the room fell into a painful silence, broken only by daniela’s sobs and the occasional shaky breath neither of you could steady.
she buried herself against the crook of your neck as you sat there together, clinging to each other as the truth slowly settled into your bones.
you and daniela are no longer together.
“i love you so much, y/n.” daniela whispered between broken cries.
the words shattered whatever composure you had left. a sob escaped your lips as tears blurred your vision. because that was what made this hurt so much.
it wasn’t the absence of love that had brought you here. it was the overwhelming presence of it.
you loved each other deeply—so deeply that neither of you wanted the other to stay at the cost of their own growth. loving each other meant wanting more for one another, even when it hurt.
even when it meant letting go.
“i know, baby.” you whispered, your voice trembling as your hand moved through her hair slowly. you carefully pressed a kiss against her temple and closed your eyes.
“i love you so much, dani.” the words caught in your throat.
“always.”
—
my dani: how are you?
you stared at the message for a long moment. it had already been three months since daniela walked out of your apartment with tears in her eyes and a trembling smile on her lips.
and this was the first time she reached out after that night.
your chest tightened as your gaze drifted to the contact name at the top of the screen. you haven’t even changed her contact name. you weren’t sure if you ever would.
swallowing hard, you pulled down the notification and typed a reply before you could overthink it.
you: surviving i guess you: how about you?
the message delivered instantly. you barely had time to lock your phone before it buzzed again.
my dani: i could say the same my dani: are you free tonight?
you raise an eyebrow after reading her message. “weird.” you mutter under your breath as you type a reply.
you: why do u ask
my dani: well i was wondering if you’d want to watch with me my dani: horror movie marathon maybe?
you blinked. then blinked again.
you let out an audible “what?” out of confusion.
did daniela forget?
did she forget that you two are no longer together? did she somehow miss the part where the two of you had spent hours crying in each other’s arms while ending a five-year relationship?
exes weren’t supposed to do this. they weren’t supposed to text three months later asking if you wanted to watch horror movies together. they definitely weren’t supposed to sound so normal.
your mind immediately screamed the obvious answer—say no. that this is a terrible idea. that you’re not together anymore and the both of you needed to get used without the presence of each other. but unfortunately, your heart has never been very good at listening.
before you could talk yourself out of it, your fingers were already moving across the keyboard.
you: if there’s sour n cream popcorn count me in
the response came so quickly it was almost embarrassing. it was as if she had been waiting (she was) for your reply.
my dani: of course there is my dani: come over 7 pm. let’s have dinner here :)
you stared at the smiley face longer than you should have.
you knew better. you knew this won’t help either of you move on. if anything, this will ruin all your progress within the past months (if there were any, but that’s beside the point).
you knew spending an evening sprawled up on your ex girlfriend’s couch watching horror movies was probably the dumbest thing you could do right now.
and yet, here you are—lips curved into a hopeful smile as you typed a reply.
you: alright see u :)
the moment the message got delivered, you dropped your head back against the couch and groaned. you were absolutely screwed.
a few hours later, there you were—standing in front of daniela’s apartment. your hand hovered just inches away from the door, fingers curled into a loose fist, but you couldn’t bring yourself to knock.
you hesitated. your eyes fell shut as you let out a slow breath, your forehead nearly resting against the door. and then it dawned on you.
who, in their right mind, shows up at their ex’s apartment months after ending their five-year relationship for a movie night?
this was wrong, in so many ways. and you were well aware of that, yet you came here anyway. you stood there in front of her door because despite everything that had unfolded, your feet had carried you here without giving your internally screaming mind much of a choice.
the realization made your chest ache. because despite no longer being together, daniela never truly disappeared from your life.
it was safe to say that the both of you did end the relationship on good terms, but it was definitely dangerous that your habits with daniela sure didn’t. keeping contact with your ex really has its consequences.
and didn’t she just say that the two of you needed to part ways in order to grow as separate individuals? she said the both of you had been drifting away from each other for months, just clinging to something that no longer fit the versions of yourselves you were becoming.
so why did it feel like every step away only made the both of you find your way back to each other?
your eyes continued lingering on the familiar door in front of you, still hesitating. you knew what was waiting on the other side. none other than daniela.
your chest tightened at the thought. you weren’t sure if you were ready to see her again. because the moment that door opens, you’d be reminded that she’s not your girlfriend anymore.
she’d just be daniela.
you let out a quiet sigh, forcing the restless thoughts crowding your mind into the background. they weren’t going to disappear, but you could push them aside long enough to get through this.
raising your hand, you rapped your knuckles against the door, pressing three knocks on her door.
you didn’t even think much about it.
inside, daniela stood in the kitchen, carefully arranging the food she’d spent the last hour making. the aroma of warm spices and freshly cooked rice lingered in the air as she adjusted the placement of the plates, trying to distract herself from the anxiety gnawing at her chest.
then she heard it. the three knocks.
her movements came to an abrupt halt. not because she hadn’t been expecting you (she had. she had been anticipating your arrival ever since she sent that text), but because you knocked three times.
you always did everything in threes.
three knocks on her apartment door. three gentle squeezes whenever you held her hand. three short beeps of your car horn whenever you dropped her off after a date.
daniela noticed this. and when she finally asked you why, you just shrugged with that sheepish grin she adored before answering, “that’s how i say ‘i love you’ without actually saying it.”
that memory of you admitting that surfaced so suddenly, making daniela’s chest tighten. she swallowed hard and shook her head, silently scolding herself before her thoughts wandered somewhere dangerous.
she crossed the room and reached for the doorknob, unlocking it with slightly trembling fingers.
she inhaled deeply before she opened the door. and there you were in all your glory.
standing beneath the dim hallway light in gray sweatpants and a faded navy blue hoodie that had clearly seen better days. your hair was slightly messy, your shoulders carried a weight daniela couldn’t quite name, and your gaze remained fixed somewhere off to the side—as if you were still trapped inside your own thoughts, even after arriving. for a brief moment, she simply looked at you. a small, bittersweet smile tugged at her lips.
she finally got to see you again.
not the version of you that kept on haunting her dreams every night since everything fell apart. not the ghost her mind kept recreating whenever she tried to sleep.
the real you. standing only a few feet away.
as if you sensed her stare, you slowly turned your head, eyes instantly meeting hers. the breath caught painfully in your throat. it felt as though your heart had lurched straight out of your chest.
it had been three months since the two of you had ended things. three long months without seeing your ex-girlfriend, but your heart pounded like this was the first time you ever saw her.
daniela stood quietly in the doorway, her swollen eyes meeting yours without hesitation. they were unmistakable evidence of sleepless nights and tears she tried so desperately to hide. the tip of her nose was tinted a soft pink, and despite everything, she looked lighter.
there was something different about her you couldn’t quite put into words. over the last five years, you had memorized every version of daniela—the sleepy version who mumbled nonsense every morning, the exhausted version after long workdays, the carefree version who laughed until she cried, the stubborn version who refused to admit when she was wrong, and even the vulnerable version no one ever saw but only you.
you thought you already saw every piece of her. but this was someone new—a different version of hers you definitely haven’t seen. she looked stripped bare in the most beautiful way. there were no carefully built walls, no practiced smiles trying to convince everyone she was okay.
she simply looked unguarded. and somehow, that made her even more breathtaking. even with the puffy eyes. even with the reddened nose. even after all the tears that had left her eyes.
a tiny smile found its way onto her lips, so subtle you almost missed it. without realizing it, you smiled back. the silence stretched between you for another second before daniela finally tilted her head, one brow lifting.
“so…” she said, her voice dripping with familiar sarcasm. “are you just gonna stand there and stare at me, or are you coming in? the food’s getting cold.”
a quiet laugh escaped you. “you had me at food.”
she rolled her eyes, unable to stop the soft, melodic laugh that slipped past her lips. god, there was no doubt that you had missed that laugh more than you were willing to admit.
the moment you stepped inside, the familiar scent wrapped around you like an old memory.
your favorite meal.
the rich aroma drifted through the apartment, warm and comforting, filling every corner until it settled deep inside your chest. god, you were so close to falling apart right there by the front door.
you felt like the gods above must’ve been playing with you right now—seeking entertainment and fun in toying your heart, dangling hope right in front of your face just to see if you’d reach for it.
because what does it mean when she cooked your favorite meal? she knew you were coming over. she could’ve made literally anything else. so why cook your favorite? was she trying to win you back?
because if she is, it’s definitely working.
“you cooked my favorite?” you asked quietly, following the smell into the kitchen. daniela trailed behind you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“yeah,” she answered with a casual shrug. “i already had the ingredients. couldn’t really think of anything else to make.”
you nodded absentmindedly at her response, pretending the explanation made perfect sense (it didn’t, or maybe you just wanted to believe that there was more to what met your ears).
the truth was, daniela was being honest. just not completely.
she really couldn’t think of anything else to cook. not when every thought she had these past days somehow led back to you. and knowing you were coming over, making your favorite dish felt almost instinctive.
“you sure you didn’t just miss me?” you teased, glancing sideways to catch her reaction.
daniela immediately looked up, meeting your eyes before letting out an amused laugh. “was it that obvious?” she bit back as you internally clutched your heart with that response.
this was bad. god, you knew you were going to have a hard time moving on just by that remark alone. if one playful sentence was enough to make your chest tighten like this, how were you supposed to move on?
you laughed anyway, masking the way your pulse had started racing, the uncomfortable silence following after. you wandered into the living room, letting yourself collapse onto the couch. the cushions dipped beneath your weight, and you released a long sigh as your body finally relaxed.
“long day?” daniela asked from behind you. you hummed before nodding. “when did i ever not have a long day?”
she laughed. that laugh that had been your favorite sound in the world. but now it only reminds you of everything you lost.
“you seriously need a break,” she said, carrying both plates over before carefully setting them on the coffee table. she lowered herself beside you, close enough for your shoulders to nearly brush. “i can tell you’re exhausted. your company works you to death.”
you picked up your plate, scooping up a bite without saying anything. the moment the food touched your tongue, you closed your eyes. it still tasted the same. if anything, it was even better. or did you just miss her? you were unsure.
after swallowing, you spoke almost absentmindedly.
“i actually left.” you reveal, still chewing. turning to face you, her eyes clearly blown wide. “really?” she asked, sounding a little bit too happy about your resignation from that fuckass company who worked your ass off daily.
“yeah, might be unemployed for a while.” you quirk a joke as she smiled, “that’s good.” she lets out as she pierced her fork in the chunk of beef on her plate. “what, staying unemployed?” you retort as she shook her head no, “no, no! i meant like you get to rest for a while, you know.”
your grip tightened around your fork. why did she still care like that? why did every little thing she said make it so much harder to convince yourself this was over?
across from you, she continued eating as if she hadn’t just turned your entire chest upside down. your heart still fluttered—in surprise, in confusion, in… everything! god, it was not helping you lose feelings for this woman who was sitting right across from you, casually munching on her home cooked beef risotto right in front of you like the two of you hadn’t broken up five days ago.
“i guess. i’m probably just gonna rot in bed all day.” you paused, thinking of what to say next. “how are you though?” you let out as daniela slowly placed down the ceramic bowl on the table, raising a hand, asking you to wait while she finished chewing.
“i’m doing fine,” she said as her right hand went up to her mouth, still chewing on that beef that seemed impossible to break down with her teeth. “took a break from work as well. rescheduled and declined a few shoots.” your head snapped toward her.
“what? including the harper’s bazaar one?” you ask persuasively as she nods, “you rescheduled that? the one you’ve been waiting for your whole life?” you ask again, in disbelief this time, as she just nods, laughing at the disbelief written all over your face.
“it also took a toll on me, you know?” she started, her smile softening. she continued, saying “i barely have enough energy to get out of bed every morning. what more to pose for magazine covers?” she said as she looked down on her plate, silence settling between the two of you again. this time, it felt heavier.
“when are you returning?” you finally asked, absentmindedly twirling your fork through the pasta. her eyes darted up to the ceiling, her brows furrowing as she kept on thinking.
“uh, i haven’t spoken to my manager yet. but i plan to return next week, maybe.” she answered, eyes glancing at you every now and then.
your conversation drifted from there. catching up about things that the both of you missed out on. work, future plans, her upcoming campaigns, your job applications. and before either of you realized it, dinner had ended, the empty dishes abandoned in the sink while an old horror movie flickered across the television.
surprisingly, it all felt normal. it reminded you of the days you and daniela were still friends, casually catching up with each other whenever the two of you would hang out. the thought made your heart felt like it was being squeezed.
—
you stayed on opposite ends of the couch, each with your own bowl of popcorn balanced on your lap.
there was only one blanket (which you snatched almost immediately), so you had the blanket all to yourself. the apartment was freezing, thanks to daniela refusing to turn down the air conditioner. but she insisted she was fine. for about twenty minutes.
halfway through the movie, you caught the quiet sound of her sighing. without saying a word, daniela scooted closer, reaching over to lift one side of the blanket. she tucked herself underneath it as though she had done it a thousand times before.
because she had.
you freeze at the sudden action. daniela definitely noticed, but she just shrugged it off. “what? it’s cold.”
before you could process what was happening, her shoulder brushed yours. her head rested gently against your chest, arms slipping around your waist with effortless ease.
you froze. every muscle in your body locked in place.
cold. right. that totally explained everything when she could’ve just lowered the thermostat.
this just didn’t make sense to a normal, sane person. this being you actually cuddling with your ex while watching horror movies, just like the both of you used to do when you were still together. none of this should’ve been happening.
your mind immediately began piecing everything together. she checked on you after five whole months of no contact. she even cooked your favorite meal. she somehow had your favorite popcorn even though she hated sour cream and onion with every fiber of her being. and now she was wrapped around you like she had never left you crying alone in your apartment that night.
there was no way you were imagining all of this. right? or maybe you were simply seeing what you wanted to see.
but either way, you didn’t tell her to move. you couldn’t bring yourself to. so the movie continued playing in the background while neither of you said another word. and at some point, the television became nothing more than distant noise. still tangled together beneath the blanket, sleep quietly found the both of you. it almost felt like nothing had changed.
to say that the next morning was awkward is an understatement.
—
a year had passed since that tremendous night, where daniela had fallen asleep on your shoulder, horror movies playing on the television which neither of you actually paid attention to. you swear you can still feel her arms wrapped around your waist, tangled together beneath the same blanket.
it has been a year after whatever that was. but you still haven’t recovered.
what made it worse was that daniela never reached out after that morning. not a single text. not a call. nothing. which was probably for the best, you tell yourself.
because you’d spent months trying to convince yourself that none of it had meant anything.
your phone buzzed against the mattress. you reached over absentmindedly.
daniela a.: hey daniela a.: are you busy?
your chest tightened in shock, heart practically slipping out of your body. you stared at the messages for a long moment before letting out a heavy sigh.
without replying, you turned off your phone and tossed it somewhere across the bed. you groaned, dragging both hands down your face.
you would be lying if you said that you’d been doing well since that night. sleep came late. your appetite disappeared whenever your thoughts wandered too far. on some mornings, getting out of bed felt impossible.
seeing daniela again had done exactly what you’d been afraid it would.
it unraveled every tiny bit of progress you made. you knew better. you really did. but knowing better had never stopped you when it came to her.
another frustrated groan escaped your lips as you rubbed your eyes. your mind refused to quiet down. every possible outcome played itself over and over again until you couldn’t tell which thoughts were rational anymore.
if you saw her again, you’d only fall deeper. you knew that.
still, your eyes remained fixed on the ceiling for what felt like forever. five whole minutes passed before another vibration shattered the silence. your arm instinctively reached toward the forgotten phone.
another message.
daniela a.: y/n come pick me up please
your eyebrows shot upward when you saw her message. it was 2 o’clock in the morning, what the hell was she doing outside so late? could she be in danger?
your stomach twisted.
the worst possibilities flooded your head before you could stop them. your fingers moved before your brain caught up.
you: where are you?
daniela a.: [location] daniela a.: hurry please, drive safe
you were already out of bed before you fully processed it. you didn’t even bother changing out of your pajamas. you didn’t even think twice. you grabbed your keys, shoved your phone into your pocket, and practically sprinted toward the parking garage.
once you got inside of your car, you tapped the location pin and secured your phone onto the dashboard mount. the navigation loaded. and without another second wasted, you pulled out of the lot and sped through the nearly empty streets of los angeles.
every red light felt too long. your mind refused to stop racing.
within ten minutes, you finally arrive to where daniela’s at. the location pinned was a house. your brows furrowed in confusion and worry once more, but you grabbed your phone and headed out to go in.
the moment you pushed the front door open, flashing lights swept across your vision. music blasted from oversized speakers, making the floor vibrate beneath your clogs while strangers squeezed past each other with drinks in hand.
she was at a party.
your appearance caught the attention of a lot of people. someone shouted something at you. another person bumped your shoulder. you ignored all of it. you didn’t really pay much attention to whatever’s going on around you—just wanting to get daniela home safely.
as you were making your way through the crowd, a familiar hand stops you. “y/n?”
you turn over to see lara, who still had a loose grip around your sleeve as she leaned closer, trying to make herself heard over the music. “what are you doing here?”
you leaned toward her in return. “i’m looking for daniela!”
lara blinked once before pulling back. one eyebrow slowly lifted.
you were expecting more of a reaction from lara. after all, she’d definitely heard that you and daniela had broken up a year ago. but instead, a small, knowing smile spread across her face. one that looked far too amused.
she pointed toward the kitchen. “she’s over there.”
then her eyes wandered down your body. “nice outfit, by the way.” she laughed. you looked down at yourself for the first time since leaving your apartment. right.
you’d forgotten you were still wearing your pajamas. “thanks.” you deadpanned before turning toward the kitchen, earning another laugh from lara as you disappeared into the crowd.
making your way through the insufferable crowd was one hell of a challenge. the smell of alcohol, perfume, and sweat hung heavily in the air. and you hated every second of it. people stumbled into one another, slurring half-finished conversations over the deafening music. strangers laughed with drinks spilling over the rims of plastic cups, while others shoved past without an apology. someone nearly crashed into you, forcing you to sidestep just in time before they barreled into another group.
keeping your eyes fixed on the kitchen, you squeezed through the last cluster of people. then you saw her.
daniela. standing by the kitchen island, talking to a guy.
she hasn’t noticed you since her entire attention was on him, her eyes locked with his as she laughed freely at something he said. the sound was swallowed by the music, but you knew that laugh well enough to recognize it anywhere.
in one hand, she held a red plastic cup filled nearly to the brim with whatever they were drinking. with the other, she lightly smacked the guy’s arm, still laughing as he leaned closer to tell her something else.
you froze, your feet refusing to move. your chest tightened with an ache so sudden it almost knocked the air from your lungs.
of course you weren’t naive enough to think they were just talking. they looked comfortable, like they were enjoying each other’s company. your eyes lingered on the way she looked at him, and despite yourself, you felt something ugly settle in your stomach.
then it hit you. if she was having such a good time, why did she ask you to come all the way here in a hurry?
you stood there for another second, trying to make sense of it all. but you couldn’t. with a quiet exhale, you turned on your heel. maybe coming here was a mistake. maybe she changed her mind. maybe she didn’t need you after all.
before you could take another step, a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around your waist from behind. your entire body tensed. the embrace was warm and unsteady, but unmistakably familiar.
then the scent reached you. alcohol, sweet and sharp, mixed with the unmistakable fragrance of her le labo perfume. you didn’t have to turn around to realize who was right behind you.
“manon?” the name left your lips on instinct. your hand reached for the arm wrapped securely around your waist, fingers curling around her wrist.
“i missed you!” manon slurred, her words spilling together as she hugged you even tighter. her voice was loud enough to cut through the music. loud enough to make the two people turn around.
daniela’s smile disappeared the second her eyes landed on you. more specifically on manon.
the red cup slipped from her attention as she set it down on the counter without looking, her gaze locked on the woman clinging to you. for a split second—she simply stared, her expression unreadable. “y/n?”
manon, blissfully unaware of the storm she had just created, leaned around your shoulder and planted a sloppy kiss against your cheek. “let’s have some fun, baby!”
your entire body stiffened at manon’s words. you didn’t even react. you couldn’t. your eyes stayed on daniela the entire time, and oh she looked furious.
before you could process anything, she was already moving.
“absolutely not.” daniela said, voice sharp enough to cut through the music. she didn’t even spare another glance at the guy she had been talking to. she didn’t acknowledge anyone else in the room, walking straight towards you and manon.
before either of you could react, daniela grabbed manon’s wrists and peeled her arms away from your waist. the shove that followed wasn’t hard enough to hurt—just enough to create distance.
manon stumbled back, letting out an offended scoff. “what’s your problem?”
“my problem?” daniela repeated, letting out a humorless laugh. “you’re the problem!” she pointed her finger directly at manon, “your problem is you can’t keep your hands to yourself.” before you could even blink, daniela slipped her hand into yours, fingers intertwining automatically like muscle memory.
manon let out another incredulous laugh. “stop acting like you own her!” her words slurred together as she pointed accusingly at daniela. “you two aren’t even together anymore, so why the hell are you acting like you still are?”
the music hadn’t gotten any quieter, but the room definitely had. the conversations around you slowly died. people had now started watching the scene unfold right in front of them. people were nudging their friends, lifting their phones, but you barely even noticed. your pulse was pounding too loudly in your ears.
before manon could get another word out, the sound echoed far louder than it should have.
SMACK!
manon’s head snapped sideways.
daniela lowered her hand slowly, her breathing uneven. and when she spoke again, her voice was dangerously quiet. “don’t you ever think you have the right to speak about our relationship.”
without another word, she tightened her grip around your hand.
“come on.” daniela pulled you through the crowd before anyone had the chance to stop either of you. you barely had time to register what had happened. the crowd swallowed the commotion behind you as daniela continued dragging you toward the front door.
the both of you finally made it out after surging through the tough crowd. the music became muffled once the front door closed behind you. you inhaled deeply, finally letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. you glance down at your hands, seeing daniela’s intertwined with them.
daniela noticed your gaze and immediately let go of your hand.
“what was that?” you finally asked as she looked up at you, raising an eyebrow. “what was what?”
you stared at her. seriously?
rolling your eyes, you turned and started walking toward your car. “wait— y/n!”
her footsteps hurried after you. a second later, her hand wrapped gently around your arm. you stopped, turning to face her.
“don’t act dumb, daniela. what happened back there, what was that?” your voice came out calmer than you felt. her mouth opened but not a single word came out of her mouth. you nodded once, clenching your jaw so tight.
“is this some fucking game to you, dani?” you ask again, even more aggressive now. “what you did back there was unnecessary!”
“of course. you’re siding with that bitch.” daniela rolled her eyes as she turned away and headed toward the passenger side of your car. before she could open the door, you stepped forward and pushed it shut, the metallic clang echoing through the quiet street.
daniela looked back at you as you turned her gently until she was facing you again.
“you made me go here for what?” you ask her, voice cracking despite your efforts to stay composed. “i wanted to go home.” she replied blatantly.
the answer came so simply and stupid it almost made you laugh. because who the fuck, in the right mind, calls their ex after a year they broke up just to be picked up from a house party?
“really? because it didn’t exactly look like it.” you gestured back toward the house. “your hands seemed pretty comfortable all over that guy.” you deadpanned as one of her eyebrows lifted.
“jealous?”
“are you stupid?” you returned the question as she looked genuinely caught off guard. “what?” she lets out a confused laugh.
“daniela,” your hands landed on your hips, “it’s 3 in the fucking morning. you made me worry and drive all the way here to… what?” you pause as your throat tightened. “...to see you flirting with another dude?” your voice shook as you started to pace around, unable to stand still anymore.
daniela stayed silent. of course she did.
you let out a hollow scoff. suddenly you felt ridiculous now that it was dawning on you. you probably seemed so pathetic to everyone—rushing across the city in pajamas because one text from your ex was enough to send you into a panic. you were there to pick your ex girlfriend up from a party she clearly didn’t want to leave. and now you’re here, pacing around in the middle of the road trying not to break down in front of her.
“this…” you pointed between the two of you, “...is stupid.” you took a slow step backward, but before you could even take a second, daniela immediately surged towards you, her hand slithering up to your neck as she pulled you into a kiss.
everything else faded away—the music, the party, the anger, the confusion. all of it melted away the second your lips met hers.
your arms found her waist as she sighed softly against your lips. you pulled her closer until her back met the side of your car. your hands instinctively settled against her hips before slipping lower.
when you finally pulled away, the both of you were breathing hard. daniela cupped your face with both hands, eyes searching yours. “i still love you, y/n.”
the words settled between you. it was heavy and terrifying which made you step back.
“get in.” you deadpanned as daniela’s face dropped, her hands slowly slipping away from your face. the hurt that flashed across her expression was almost enough to make you take the words back.
you opened the passenger door, and she climbed inside without another word. without wasting a second, you headed to the driver’s seat—starting the engine and pulling away from the curb.
every few seconds, your eyes drifted toward her before returning to the road. daniela curled herself against the passenger door, knees tucked up to her chest as she faced the window. a few minutes passed before you heard it—a quiet sniffle, and then another followed.
you let out a weary sigh. “you alright?” you asked softly, reaching over to rest a hand against her back. she immediately squirmed away from your touch, hugging herself tighter.
“how can i be?” she mumbled, her voice trembling. “you don’t love me anymore.”
before you could stop yourself, the corner of your mouth lifted into the smallest smile. it disappeared just as quickly when reality settled back in.
she wasn’t sober.
you slowly pulled your hand away and returned it to the steering wheel. “you’re drunk, daniela.” you said flatly. she turned to face you, frowning. “i’m not, i didn’t even finish my drink!” she protested.
another sigh escaped your lips. that’s what you wanted to believe, anyway. that it was the alcohol talking. that it was the reason why she asked you to pick her up, the reason she pulled you into a kiss, the reason she had gotten jealous over manon’s arms around your waist, and the reason why she confessed that she still loved you.
because if she wasn’t drunk, then none of this made any sense.
she kept pulling you close only to push you away again, leaving you to untangle feelings you were never given the chance to understand. it felt like she was holding your heart in her hands, squeezing just enough to remind you that she’s still the one who has it.
you didn’t trust yourself to say anything else. instead, you just tightened your grip around the steering wheel and kept your eyes fixed on the road, stealing only the occasional glance at the woman beside you, who had gone quiet once more, curled up in her seat.
less than twenty minutes later, you pulled into the parking lot of daniela’s apartment complex.
you killed the engine and immediately climbed out, making your way around to the passenger side. through the window, you found her exactly as expected. fast asleep.
"unbelievable.” you muttered under your breath.
opening the door, you leaned inside and slipped one arm beneath her knees while the other supported her back. with a quiet grunt, you lifted her into your arms with surprising ease. she instinctively curled closer, mumbling something completely incoherent before resting her head against your shoulder again. you nudged the car door shut with your foot.
“must be nice, causing emotional damage then sleeping like a baby.” you mumbled to yourself.
the walk to her apartment was thankfully uneventful. by some miracle, you haven’t tripped, stumbled, or ended up face-first on the pavement.
standing in front of her door, however, was an exception. you immediately ran into another problem. you shifted her weight onto one arm and reached for the doorknob. it was locked.
“of course it’s locked.”
you let your forehead fall lightly against the door before trying again, except this time daniela’s forehead bumped into it instead. she let out a tiny groan. you couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped you.
“daniela.” you called her name, but it was no use.
“dani, wake the fuck up.” you called once more, voice a little louder. this time she stirred, lifting her head just enough to blink sleepily at you. her eyes found yours almost instantly, a lazy smile spreading across her face. before you could ask her about that damn key, her head dropped right back onto your shoulder. she was out cold.
“you fell asleep again? oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” you groaned as you stared at the ceiling for a long second.
“daniela, where is your key?” you tried one last time, adjusting your grip. you bounced her gently in your arms, hoping she’d wake up long enough to answer. instead, she only snuggled closer.
“fantastic.” another long groan left your lips.
accepting defeat, you carried her back to the elevator, down to the parking garage, and carefully settled her back into the passenger seat. after buckling her seatbelt, you shut the door a little harder than necessary.
“i should’ve fucking left your ass in front of that door.” you muttered to yourself as you walked to the driver’s seat. you absolutely wouldn’t have, but thinking it made you feel a little better.
the drive back to your apartment was even quieter than before. daniela had surprisingly managed to sleep through every turn, every stoplight, every bump in the road.
once you arrived, you carried her upstairs again, balancing her weight with practiced ease while unlocking your apartment. the door clicked open as you step in, nudging it shut behind you with your foot before heading straight for your bedroom.
you laid her down gently on your bed. she sighed contentedly the moment her head met the pillow. you knelt beside the bed, carefully slipping her heels off one by one before pulling the blanket over her shoulders.
you stood there for a moment longer than you should have.
quietly closing the bedroom door behind you, you wandered into the living room and collapsed onto the couch, cushions welcoming you almost instantly. you were exhausted—from the drive, the party, the argument, the kiss, and carrying daniela across two parking lots at 3 in the morning.
it was too much to bear it was hurting your mind, so you just pushed the thoughts aside, sleep claiming you before another thought had the chance to cross your mind.
—
the next morning, sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting warm streaks of light across the bedroom as daniela slowly opened her eyes. for a moment, she simply stared at the ceiling before the corners of her lips curved into a satisfied smile.
her plan had actually worked.
pretending to fall asleep had been a gamble, but one look around the room told her everything she needed to know. she was in your bedroom.
she let out the quietest laugh, sitting up and stretching her arms above her head. instinctively, her eyes wandered to the other side of the bed. her smile faltered after seeing the other side was empty.
she frowned, slipping off the mattress before quietly opening the bedroom door.
and there you were, completely passed out on the couch, one arm hanging off the edge while your phone rested dangerously close to falling onto the floor. she couldn’t help smiling again.
“idiot.” she whispered fondly.
a few hours later, your eyes finally fluttered open. the first thing you reached for was your phone.
2:17 p.m.
“shit.” you shot upright so fast your neck immediately protested. you hurried toward your bedroom.
you pushed the door open and your heart dropped. the bed was neatly made, blanket folded—absolutely not even a single sign that daniela had ever been there.
she left.
of course she did. you stood there for a long moment, staring at the empty room.
you didn’t know why disappointment settled so heavily in your chest. what were you expecting? a note? a text? some kind of explanation?
you almost laughed at yourself. god, you felt so pathetic with everything dawning on you now. she already left you once, so why were you surprised she’d leave again? with a quiet sigh and your shoulders dropped, you closed the bedroom door.
only to come face-to-face with daniela.
she had just stepped out of your bathroom, drying her hair on a towel. the two of you froze—eyes meeting, yet neither of you spoke. and before you could even open your mouth to say something, the words came so quickly they barely had time to register.
“i still love you, y/n.” daniela said as she took a step toward you, her gaze never leaving yours. “and don’t you dare tell me it was because i was drunk, because i’m very sober now.”
she stopped just in front of you. “and i still mean every single word.”
—
it has been two years since you and daniela broke up.
summer had settled comfortably over los angeles, the afternoon sun warming the city in a way that somehow never felt unbearable. you sat beneath a beige patio umbrella outside your favorite café, a half-finished spanish latté resting on the table in front of you. despite the shade, golden rays still found their way across your arms, wrapping everything in a familiar warmth. you leaned back in your chair with a quiet sigh, setting your phone down before letting your gaze wander.
the streets buzzed with life. people laughed as they walked by, cars crawled lazily through the intersection, and somewhere nearby, someone was playing music just loud enough to blend into the city’s endless hum. without thinking, you reached for your phone again and snapped a picture of the view.
the tiny bells hanging above the café door chimed behind you.
“i swear, they took forever.” you looked up just in time to see your fiancée making her way toward the table, balancing a tray piled embarrassingly high with pastries. you couldn’t help but laugh, making daniela narrow her eyes. “don’t start.”
“i wasn’t gonna say anything.” you defend yourself as she glared at you, “yes, you were.” daniela deadpanned.
you pointed toward the tray, “i was just wondering if they even have any pastries left inside.”
her jaw dropped dramatically. “excuse me?”
“i mean,” you glanced over the assortment of croissants, pain au chocolat, cinnamon rolls, fruit tarts, and éclairs. “you practically cleared the display.”
daniela gasped, placing a hand over her chest. “are you calling me greedy?”
you laughed, raising your hands in surrender. “i didn’t say anything.”
she rolled her eyes before pushing the tray toward the middle of the table. without another word, she happily reached for an éclair while you picked up a buttery croissant. the moment she took a bite, her entire face lit up.
“baby,” before you even had the chance to taste your own pastry, she held the éclair up to your mouth. “try this.” daniela said as you looked at her, then at the diamond ring resting on her finger. sunlight caught the stone, scattering tiny reflections across the table. and for a brief second, your mind drifted.
“take a bite.” daniela called out as you snapped out of your thoughts. a smile tugged at your lips as you leaned forward, taking a bite from the pastry she was holding. your eyebrows lifted immediately. you nodded, still chewing. “that’s really good.”
“right? it tastes exactly like the éclair we had in paris.” she grinned as you laughed softly. she took another bite before pointing at you with the pastry.
“oh, speaking of…” she trailed off, “have you booked our flight to the maldives? with the hotel and everything?” daniela asked as you hummed. “yes darling, everything has been booked. i also forwarded the itinerary to your email earlier.”
she looked relieved. “perfect! i’m so excited.”
the conversation drifted somewhere else after that. but somewhere between her rambling and the sound of traffic passing by, your thoughts quietly wandered.
two years ago, you were just lying awake in bed every night, mourning a future you thought you lost forever. back then, you convinced yourself that life without daniela was something you’d eventually have to accept. you mourned a future that, at the time, felt impossibly out of reach.
and now, here she was—wearing the ring you had slipped onto her finger. she’s right there, sitting across from you, stealing bites from your croissant despite having enough pastries to feed an entire neighbourhood while asking you about your preferred honeymoon destinations.
you smiled to yourself. life was funny like that.
sometimes you mourn a future so intensely that you fail to notice another one quietly waiting for you.
you were someone who never believed in second chances. if someone wasted the first chance, why would you give them another? you figured that they made their choice.
but daniela was different. the year apart had changed both of you. she really thought everything through. that one whole year of space made it clear to her that she doesn’t want anything else other than a future with you, even if it contradicted her words.
and when she stood in your apartment, looked you in the eyes and said “i still love you,” you just knew you were a goner for her. you were done telling yourself you didn’t feel the same.
maybe some people leave because they were meant to. maybe others come back to serve a sense of purpose. you didn’t know which one was true. but one thing you do know is that daniela was never really gone. not from your heart, not from the future you kept hoping for.
despite being a firm believer that second chances are dumb, giving your relationship another try was probably the best decision you’ve ever made your whole life. it wasn’t something that worked for everyone, but it made everything fall into place for you and her.
“what are you smiling about?” daniela’s voice pulled you back. you looked at her.
then you reached across the table, intertwining your fingers with hers. “nothing.” you smiled, "just thinking i got pretty lucky."
AMAZING
