clean slate

[scout-odair]

In which Ava charms Embry into taking his glasses off

[gina-silvers]

[avarubin-blog]

@rubinyoutherightway: I was digging through some old pictures with Embry and I found this. I feel like it perfectly captures what an angsty, teen love affair looks like. @jerem-yeet @hotbunsmellark

[avarubin-blog]

Kind of greedy to have so many guys love you

You're right. I just love it when men harass me. Can't get enough of it.

[scout-odair]

Texts From Third Generation 

[avarubin-blog]

[avarubin-blog]

Seeking Guidance

[avarubin-blog]

Ava listened intently as he spoke, giving his hand a gentle squeeze any time he started to get worked up again. Even as Jeremy described what had happened, it was hard for her to imagine Embry angry. He always wore a smile and brightened a room just by walking into it, but Ava knew far too well that looks could be deceiving. It crushed her to think that Embry was actually hurting, that he might be keeping it tucked away.

While what Embry had said to his teacher seemed so out of character, Ava could understand why he had said it. The school wasn’t exactly trying to hide the fact that there was something different about them by separating them from the class, and if the other students that had been singled out as well were anything like Embry, then they definitely weren’t idiots. You couldn’t pull a stunt like that and not expect to be confronted.

"The problem is, Jer…we really don’t know what it’s like, and god forbid we ever do, because I can’t even begin to fathom the kinds of things that kid deals with." she started. "When you love someone unconditionally, it’s hard to imagine anyone not adoring that person, too. Just because you support him and lead him, doesn’t mean everyone else does as well. I’m sure other students and even teachers have told him the same things or treated him the same way over and over. After a while, you start to believe that those people are right and that that’s how it’s supposed to be. No matter what Embry does in his life, he always has to do it with precaution. I’m sure it doesn’t help when you already know you’re different and people continually highlight that fact and even put you down for it. It’s probably been eating him up for years. You can’t blame him for snapping. Everyone has a breaking point, and today was probably his."

She frowned to herself, trying to think of what else to say. “You should just be honest with him. Tell him that..that he’s right. That you don’t know what it’s like. But let him know that he never has to be alone because he always has you and I to lean on when the going gets rough.” Ava wasn’t sure if that would do the trick or not, but it was the best thing she could think of.

"You’ve done an amazing job thus far with raising him. This is just a bump in the road, and I know it’ll be okay in no time. You just need to let him have this time to be angry. It’s good for him to get it out of his system." She gave his hand another squeeze and grinned softly at him.

[jeremylee12-blog]

In a better world, Ava would be taking care of Embry. Someone like Ava would be responsible and smart. She would always know what to say and do without ever needing to feel afraid that she would mess up. But that must have been too much to ask for and he got stuck with Jeremy instead. Maybe the universe wanted him to build character or wanted Jeremy to learn responsibility. Who the hell knew?

"You always know just what to say," he murmured, letting himself calm down. Jeremy wasn’t angry at his brother or even his teacher. Jeremy was upset that there wasn’t more he could do. He knew damn well Embry had to deal with this bullshit everyday. That smile could only hide so much, after all. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t be with him as a protector everyday.

"I had to come to you because I didn’t know what to say. I froze. He was sitting there, waiting for me to say something, and I panicked. I knew I couldn’t keep lying to him about how life gets better or that we’ll both be happy one day. He’s not stupid. I just couldn’t tell him that the right way.

If anyone in the world cares about him as much as I do, it’s you. It was selfish for me to put this on you but..,” he stopped, wanting to say something but afraid she wouldn’t feel the same way. Since he was already rock bottom, he figured he had nothing to lose. “But we both see you as family. Not just him. And I’m tired of pretending like I don’t need you when you’re the only constant, stable thing I have in my life right now…”

[avarubin-blog]

"Hardly." she chuckled, glad he seemed more level headed now. "But I'm glad I could help." Ava was flattered Jeremy had thought to come to her. She had never really considered herself maternal or responsible, but it could have been because she had never been placed in a situation like this one before. Her response had come as a shock to her. What he might have considered helpful was merely word vomit to her.

"Anyone in your place would have reacted the same way. It's not easy tackling something like that. I can pretend like I know what I'm saying now, but I can't promise I would have done or said the same thing had I been faced with it so suddenly like you were."

Her stomach dropped as soon as Jeremy confessed how he felt about her. Hearing that when you were someone who grew up with a shit example for family meant more than most knew. It was far more meaningful too knowing Jeremy was also an expert in broken families. 

"If we're confessing things.." she murmured, her eyes locked on their hands, "Then you might as well know that I've never felt more comfortable than when I'm with you two. I always thought that home was a place, but..mine isn't. I care about you a lot more than I lead on, Jeremy.."

Ava swallowed and finally looked up to meet his gaze. "I think we both need to stop pretending." 

[avarubin-blog]

Seeking Guidance

[avarubin-blog]

Okay, so she hadn’t done anything wrong. But what was he talking about? “Slow down, slow down..” she said, closing the door and trailing behind him, “What happened?” 

Ava had seen Jeremy annoyed before, but his irritation generally stemmed from something silly like Theia chewing on his shoe. Now he was genuinely upset. What worried her even more, though, was that she was positive he was talking about Embry. Ava didn’t like being in the dark, especially when it concerned the people she cared about most.

Her assumption proved to be correct once Jeremy posed his question. It definitely caught her off guard, and she stood, staring like an idiot for a few seconds. “I..” her voiced wavered as she repeated his question over in her head, “Look can you just..explain to me what happened first? Then maybe I can answer your question without making a complete ass of myself.” 

Ava sat back down on the couch, extending her hand to him. She didn’t let go of him this time as he joined her, though, but instead threaded her fingers between his. “Cool down..” she said, softly tracing circles with her thumb on the back of his hand.

[jeremylee12-blog]

Jeremy knew how people saw him. He knew he came off as cold and careless to just about everyone. If anyone took the time to stick around, they would have realized that there was one person Jeremy cared about more than anyone or anything else. His main priority had been Embry since the day his brother came home from the hospital. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that Embry was his entire life.

"I went to get him from school like usual and he was late. Like, a whole hour late. I start to panic and then he just walks out like nothing happened and tells me he had a detention. Kid has never done anything wrong in his life," he started, letting the feeling off her touch cool him down when he got too angry. "So I may have said something about him hanging out with the wrong..person and then he tells me what actually happened and I look like a fucking douchebag."

Embry definitely didn’t want anyone to know what happened. He had been scared to tell Jeremy, but the three of them were a family. No secrets stayed that way for very long. “He apparently got upset that his teacher was giving them the same spiel about how they’re equal to everyone else and they’ll be able to.. have relations and become fully functioning adults just like everyone else. She kept him after school for an hour because he asked her when she had been disabled and knew first hand that was true..

So, how am I supposed to tell him that he’s right without being a jackass? I don’t believe it but I’m not blind. I don’t know what life is like for him. I know what statistics say and.. and I think he’s probably right, Ava.”

[avarubin-blog]

Ava listened intently as he spoke, giving his hand a gentle squeeze any time he started to get worked up again. Even as Jeremy described what had happened, it was hard for her to imagine Embry angry. He always wore a smile and brightened a room just by walking into it, but Ava knew far too well that looks could be deceiving. It crushed her to think that Embry was actually hurting, that he might be keeping it tucked away.

While what Embry had said to his teacher seemed so out of character, Ava could understand why he had said it. The school wasn't exactly trying to hide the fact that there was something different about them by separating them from the class, and if the other students that had been singled out as well were anything like Embry, then they definitely weren't idiots. You couldn't pull a stunt like that and not expect to be confronted.

"The problem is, Jer...we really don't know what it's like, and god forbid we ever do, because I can't even begin to fathom the kinds of things that kid deals with." she started. "When you love someone unconditionally, it's hard to imagine anyone not adoring that person, too. Just because you support him and lead him, doesn't mean everyone else does as well. I'm sure other students and even teachers have told him the same things or treated him the same way over and over. After a while, you start to believe that those people are right and that that's how it's supposed to be. No matter what Embry does in his life, he always has to do it with precaution. I'm sure it doesn't help when you already know you're different and people continually highlight that fact and even put you down for it. It's probably been eating him up for years. You can't blame him for snapping. Everyone has a breaking point, and today was probably his."

She frowned to herself, trying to think of what else to say. "You should just be honest with him. Tell him that..that he's right. That you don't know what it's like. But let him know that he never has to be alone because he always has you and I to lean on when the going gets rough." Ava wasn't sure if that would do the trick or not, but it was the best thing she could think of.

"You've done an amazing job thus far with raising him. This is just a bump in the road, and I know it'll be okay in no time. You just need to let him have this time to be angry. It's good for him to get it out of his system." She gave his hand another squeeze and grinned softly at him.

[avarubin-blog]

Seeking Guidance

It always felt good to come home from work. It felt even better to be released early. Ava flopped down, face first on the couch the moment she walked through the door, sighing happily into the couch cushions. She had the whole afternoon to do whatever she wanted, but the only thing she really wanted to do was sleep. 

Just as she shut her eyes, someone pounded loudly on her front door, startling her. Ava groaned and picked herself up of the couch, stomping towards the door. The asshole that was on the other side of her door had better have had a good reason for banging on her door and interrupting her nap.

Ava threw the door open, her irritation proudly evident. “What do you-” she started, stopping mid-sentence when she realized who it was. “Jeremy?” she said, her voice much softer now. He looked angry. She immediately wondered if she had done something, but nothing came to mind.

"What’s wrong? Come in." 

[jeremylee12-blog]

Jeremy Lee should not have to be a parent. In fact, Jeremy could barely take care of himself. His father knew that when he left. He wasn’t doing them a favor; he was waiting for them to fall apart. Jeremy wasn’t sure how to do anything. Every life lesson he taught Embry always came after hours of panic and hesitation to make sure he wouldn’t get anything wrong. His main concern was always making sure his brother turned out to be an infinitely better person than he was.

Ava came into his life at a time when he needed her most. He had no motivation and no idea what the hell he was doing anymore. She wasn’t his purpose, but she was the kick in the ass he needed to shape up. 

"He knows I’ve been lying to him," he sighed, walking in the door. "I knew this day would come but I figured it’d be more graceful than him freaking out on a teacher."

He shook his head and kicked off his shoes, trying to act as calm and normal as possible despite his obvious indignation. “I don’t want to be a pain in the ass but you’re the better parent here. So tell me: How do I gently admit to my brother that no, he will never experience half of the things everyone else does? How do I do that without coming off like a total asshole?”

[avarubin-blog]

Okay, so she hadn't done anything wrong. But what was he talking about? "Slow down, slow down.." she said, closing the door and trailing behind him, "What happened?" 

Ava had seen Jeremy annoyed before, but his irritation generally stemmed from something silly like Theia chewing on his shoe. Now he was genuinely upset. What worried her even more, though, was that she was positive he was talking about Embry. Ava didn't like being in the dark, especially when it concerned the people she cared about most.

Her assumption proved to be correct once Jeremy posed his question. It definitely caught her off guard, and she stood, staring like an idiot for a few seconds. "I.." her voiced wavered as she repeated his question over in her head, "Look can you just..explain to me what happened first? Then maybe I can answer your question without making a complete ass of myself." 

Ava sat back down on the couch, extending her hand to him. She didn't let go of him this time as he joined her, though, but instead threaded her fingers between his. "Cool down.." she said, softly tracing circles with her thumb on the back of his hand.

[avarubin-blog]

Seeking Guidance

It always felt good to come home from work. It felt even better to be released early. Ava flopped down, face first on the couch the moment she walked through the door, sighing happily into the couch cushions. She had the whole afternoon to do whatever she wanted, but the only thing she really wanted to do was sleep. 

Just as she shut her eyes, someone pounded loudly on her front door, startling her. Ava groaned and picked herself up of the couch, stomping towards the door. The asshole that was on the other side of her door had better have had a good reason for banging on her door and interrupting her nap.

Ava threw the door open, her irritation proudly evident. "What do you-" she started, stopping mid-sentence when she realized who it was. "Jeremy?" she said, her voice much softer now. He looked angry. She immediately wondered if she had done something, but nothing came to mind.

"What's wrong? Come in." 

[jeremylee12-blog]

Worth A Shot - Jeremy/Ava

[jeremylee12-blog]

"Never?" Jeremy asked incredulously. District Twelve was so small and so boring though! "We’ll change that. Now that Embry is frequenting to Four so often, I’m sure we can tag along some time and go see the beach. I guess they have some legend that the stars don’t look prettier anywhere else than they do in Four."

Five Loko. Jeremy hadn’t had one of those since middle school. Those were the drink back in the day. Drinking a Five Loko in middle school meant you were quite the bad ass. 

"The more I think about the memories I have with these drinks, the more I start to understand Embry’s concern about my drinking," he laughed, finishing off his Five Loko like it was nothing.

"District Six. We’re halfway, babe," he said, not noticing his use of pet name. "A zombie. Always a good choice. You think they’d call it a morphling," he grinned, amused at his own joke. 

[avarubin-blog]

"Nope. Never." she repeated. Sure, there were times Ava craved ‘adventure’, but she never had a good reason to leave her home district. Besides, where would she go and what would she do? To top it all off, she never had anyone to visit new places with. It never seemed appealing to travel alone. Jeremy’s offer interested her, though. "Are we tagging along as friends, or are you proposing a second date?" Ava inquired, arching her eyebrow with a grin.

She wasn’t far behind him in finishing her drink. Because the goal was to move through the drinks as efficiently as possible, Ava hadn’t really begun to start feeling the effect of the alcohol until now that they were taking a beat. She had gotten shitfaced drunk by herself a few times, but it was far more fun drinking with someone else and maintaining a nice buzz. 

While his nickname would have ticked Ava off before, it rolled right off of her now. “We need to find the guy or gal who made this list and praise them for their creativity.” she snickered and clinked glasses with him. She finished the drink and moved onto the next one right away. It was go big or go home now.

"Axe Murderer. Dedicated to District Seven’s most memorable Victor, Johanna Mason." she read aloud. "I remember learning a little bit about her in school. Very fitting."

[jeremylee12-blog]

The bluntness of her reply was relieving. At least she was considering the notion of them going on a second date. He hadn’t screwed this night up too much yet. “Well, I’d prefer the latter but I still have some time left to inevitably piss you off tonight.”

Either he was actually enjoying the names or the alcohol. “What a bad ass chick. I know it seems like The Games were so long ago, but I’ve always had this nightmare that they would happen again. I’ve never told Reid that, though. I’m always worried I’ll say something awful so I avoid talking about the revolution period.”

If he ever met Johanna Mason, he’d tell her that she had an awesome drink named after her. So far, Seven was winning this contest. “Do you have a favorite yet? I’m thinking Miss Mason is getting my love here. Well, not all of it..”

Drinks all seemed to roll by quickly, and soon enough, they were at the very last one. Since his tolerance was unhealthy, he barely felt anything. Taking down one last shot of ‘Coal and Embers’ wasn’t going to kill him. 

"Hah, tastes..ember-y," he said, smirking at his own joke. "Haha, Embry." 

[avarubin-blog]

It was amusing to her that Jeremy believed he was still capable of fucking up their time together. They were nearing the homestretch of the night, and Ava was more than pleased with how it had gone. "I think you're safe." she reassured him, giving him a playful nudge.

The Games and Uprisings had always been a part of history they had to learn about and test on in school, but Ava always forgot that their generation had just narrowly escaped being in the same situation. "I have those thoughts sometimes too, but I think we've come too far to ever go back to those times." she said. "I wonder what kind of stories he's heard, if any. If I were his parents, I'm not sure I'd want to relive any of that."

"I dunno, I think I'm feelin' District Four." she said. His last comment made her chuckle. "I'm not so sure I can compete with a Victor."

After a few more drinks, they finally reached their home District. Ava finished it off and breathed a satisfied sigh. "I think we've had our fair share of puns tonight." she laughed and grabbed a cheese fry from what was left of them. 

"How does it feel to be a legend to this bar now?" she asked, holding the cheese fry up to him as a mock microphone.

[jeremylee12-blog]

Worth A Shot - Jeremy/Ava

[avarubin-blog]

"I wouldn’t know." she shrugged. "I’ve never been out of the district so I’ve been weaned on the alcohol we have here." Ava laughed as she listened to his story. From the sounds of it, Jeremy hadn’t changed much over the years. She guessed that they wouldn’t have been friends had they met in high school, as she used to be pretty timid. Maybe it was a good thing they had never crossed paths until now. Otherwise, Ava would have gone on living without he and Embry in her life, and that didn’t seem like much of a life to her.

"I guess now’s a better time than any to lose my District Four drinking virginity." she chuckled, taking the electric blue shot into her hand. Ava  questioned the electric blue color for a moment before knocking back the drink. Right away she wished she had another.

Ava set down the empty shot glass before grabbing a cheese fry. “You know, I was really doubting it because of the color, but I was sorely mistaken. I don’t even blame you for sneaking them into school.” she snickered. She grabbed the menu, looking over the next drink.

"Five Loko." Ava snorted and shook her head. "More puns. It’s fitting, though, since it works as an energy drink, too. Whoever came up with this list was one clever son of a bitch. I applaud them."

[jeremylee12-blog]

"Never?" Jeremy asked incredulously. District Twelve was so small and so boring though! "We’ll change that. Now that Embry is frequenting to Four so often, I’m sure we can tag along some time and go see the beach. I guess they have some legend that the stars don’t look prettier anywhere else than they do in Four."

Five Loko. Jeremy hadn’t had one of those since middle school. Those were the drink back in the day. Drinking a Five Loko in middle school meant you were quite the bad ass. 

"The more I think about the memories I have with these drinks, the more I start to understand Embry’s concern about my drinking," he laughed, finishing off his Five Loko like it was nothing.

"District Six. We’re halfway, babe," he said, not noticing his use of pet name. "A zombie. Always a good choice. You think they’d call it a morphling," he grinned, amused at his own joke. 

[avarubin-blog]

"Nope. Never." she repeated. Sure, there were times Ava craved 'adventure', but she never had a good reason to leave her home district. Besides, where would she go and what would she do? To top it all off, she never had anyone to visit new places with. It never seemed appealing to travel alone. Jeremy's offer interested her, though. "Are we tagging along as friends, or are you proposing a second date?" Ava inquired, arching her eyebrow with a grin.

She wasn't far behind him in finishing her drink. Because the goal was to move through the drinks as efficiently as possible, Ava hadn't really begun to start feeling the effect of the alcohol until now that they were taking a beat. She had gotten shitfaced drunk by herself a few times, but it was far more fun drinking with someone else and maintaining a nice buzz. 

While his nickname would have ticked Ava off before, it rolled right off of her now. "We need to find the guy or gal who made this list and praise them for their creativity." she snickered and clinked glasses with him. She finished the drink and moved onto the next one right away. It was go big or go home now.

"Axe Murderer. Dedicated to District Seven's most memorable Victor, Johanna Mason." she read aloud. "I remember learning a little bit about her in school. Very fitting."

[jeremylee12-blog]

Worth A Shot - Jeremy/Ava

[avarubin-blog]

Trying to think of Reid as charming or anything but a goof was hilarious to her. “He’s cute, sure, but in a silly, older brother kind of way.” she chuckled. “Don’t go telling him that. You know he’ll come to me the next time I’m at work and harass me about it if you do.” She could already picture him leaning against the counter, wiggling his eyebrows, and asking for Ava to rate him using a ten point scale.

And there it was. Ava was actually surprised at how long Jeremy had made it. “Maybe it can be a body shot next time. I’ll have to think about it.” she teased back before downing her drink. She was in a good mood. A little harmless flirting never killed anyone, right? 

"That menu is wittier than I am." she laughed. Ava grabbed the shot glass and shrugged at him. "I’ll live."

She quickly knocked back the drink, wincing as it went down. She had expected that reaction, but anticipating it didn’t make it burn any less. That didn’t mean she was ready to stop, though.

"Alright. What’s next?"

[jeremylee12-blog]

"I won’t mention it. You know he would never let you live it down. He’d make the same joke about his buns until you quit," he laughed, knowing his friend all too well. 

The response he had been waiting for. It had only taken weeks of flirting and badgering to get it from her. That and a basket of cheese fries. The old Jeremy would have given up after a week or so. As stupid and cliche as it sounded, there really was something different about Ava. He not only saw her as a real person, but he saw her as a person with feelings. He couldn’t remember the last time he thought of anyone like that.

"D-Four represent," he cheered, raising a cheese fry, "they have the best liquor in all of Panem. I would know." The beginning stages of alcoholism weren’t the best joke in the world but it made him laugh. "Neptunes. Man, I remember when I would sneak this stuff in to school. I was a punk ass. I’m glad Embry didn’t turn out like me."

[avarubin-blog]

"I wouldn't know." she shrugged. "I've never been out of the district so I've been weaned on the alcohol we have here." Ava laughed as she listened to his story. From the sounds of it, Jeremy hadn't changed much over the years. She guessed that they wouldn't have been friends had they met in high school, as she used to be pretty timid. Maybe it was a good thing they had never crossed paths until now. Otherwise, Ava would have gone on living without he and Embry in her life, and that didn't seem like much of a life to her.

"I guess now's a better time than any to lose my District Four drinking virginity." she chuckled, taking the electric blue shot into her hand. Ava  questioned the electric blue color for a moment before knocking back the drink. Right away she wished she had another.

Ava set down the empty shot glass before grabbing a cheese fry. "You know, I was really doubting it because of the color, but I was sorely mistaken. I don't even blame you for sneaking them into school." she snickered. She grabbed the menu, looking over the next drink.

"Five Loko." Ava snorted and shook her head. "More puns. It's fitting, though, since it works as an energy drink, too. Whoever came up with this list was one clever son of a bitch. I applaud them."

[avarubin-blog]

Ava @ Jeremy any time they get in a fight from now on

[jeremylee12-blog]

Worth A Shot - Jeremy/Ava

[avarubin-blog]

"You may be right. The last few times Reid worked the counter were our slowest days. I think he scares everyone away because he feels the need to make a stupid joke every time he serves a customer. It’s pitiful to watch really."

Ava took the shot glass he handed her, snickering at the act Jeremy put on as he read. She clinked her glass with his and downed the first shot, cringing as she set the glass down. 

"I’m not against the whole fruity drink scene, but that was a little too much for my liking." she said, sticking out her tongue. Ava scanned the menu and began reading the description for District 2.

"District 2. Home to Masonry. Savor the smokey flavor of beautifully aged anejo tequila and salt." She handed him the shot glass and looked over the dark alcohol. 

"This one’s gonna have more of a bite, but I’d choose a bitter drink over a sugary one any day." 

[jeremylee12-blog]

"He’s lucky he’s good looking. You have to admit his social disability adds to his charm," he said, shrugging his shoulders. Jeremy loved his best friend to death, of course, but Reid did have a tendency to make bad puns. While they always made Jeremy laugh, the general public didn’t share their low level sense of humor. 

"Mmm, too bad it isn’t a body shot," he grinned, making his first suggestive remark of the night before knocking back the tequila. Much better. Fruity drinks never sat well with him either. 

"Two down, ten to go. Three is a wise men. Very punny." A three wise men from District Three? He’d have to tell Reid about that one. He’d enjoy that.

"Hope you don’t mind straight whiskey."

[avarubin-blog]

Trying to think of Reid as charming or anything but a goof was hilarious to her. "He's cute, sure, but in a silly, older brother kind of way." she chuckled. "Don't go telling him that. You know he'll come to me the next time I'm at work and harass me about it if you do." She could already picture him leaning against the counter, wiggling his eyebrows, and asking for Ava to rate him using a ten point scale.

And there it was. Ava was actually surprised at how long Jeremy had made it. "Maybe it can be a body shot next time. I'll have to think about it." she teased back before downing her drink. She was in a good mood. A little harmless flirting never killed anyone, right? 

"That menu is wittier than I am." she laughed. Ava grabbed the shot glass and shrugged at him. "I'll live."

She quickly knocked back the drink, wincing as it went down. She had expected that reaction, but anticipating it didn't make it burn any less. That didn't mean she was ready to stop, though.

"Alright. What's next?"

[scout-odair]

Keeping Up With the Lees (Episode 3)

[gina-silvers]