“come ON geralt! this was the most bad-ass movie ive seen in YEARS! he even reminds me of you a bit,”
geralt huffs and shovels another handful of jaskier’s homemade movie popcorn into his mouth. admittedly, that was the only thing putting his arse on the brown, lumpy couch in jaskier’s living room at the start of this nonsense.
“with that kind of technique, that lad would be a fine red paste on the pavement.”
“he does ALL the same flippy things with his sword that you do!” jaskier objected.
“all the same flippy things i do when im showing off for an audience. in a fight, that’ll get you killed.”
“oh, so im an audience worth showing off for?”
geralt pelted jaskier with popcorn, but couldnt confirm nor deny that yes, he’d like to show off for jaskier as much as possible. it made what he was trained to do seem a little less monstrous, to have someone fawn over him like he was some superhero.
“why dont you show me, then?” jaskier challenged. his tone of voice was suggestive, something that would turn geralt’s knees to two scoops of soft serve in the lousiana sun, but his heart seized at the thought of jaskier being in the same zip code as something geralt would be summoned to exterminate.
“too dangerous.” geralt declared through a mouthful of emotional support popcorn.
“what if you filmed it? what if we rigged up a tripod and your phone—“
“im not breaking my phone for this—“
“real monster fights arent like the movies, jask. we could put a tripod over there and wind up finding the nest three miles south.”
“a body cam! i have an old gopro from when i wanted to be a professional rock climber,”
“you’re terrified of heights, jask,”
“yeah? well, how do you think i found that one out,” jaskier jumped up from the couch to bolt into his office. geralt gnoshed on some more popcorn and took a long drag of his shandy while he heard a number of wildly concerning noises coming from the office until jaskier re-emerged.
“you want me to wear that?”
it was, effectively, a headband with a camera on it.
“its waterproof!” jaskier chirped. “it’s still charged, even,”
geralt finished off the popcorn and sighed, resigned to his fate.
“yep.” geralt adjusted the towel twisted on top of his head and watched jaskier rewind the video on his phone for what had to be the hundredth time.
“it doesnt even look like theres anything in the water! like, id swim there!”
“it’d be my last swim, looks like,” jaskier laughed awkwardly, looking back to geralt with a watery smile. “and you just… let it eat you.”
jaskier caught a full body chill and geralt watched every hair raise on the back of his neck.
“so you’re cool to hang out a bit, right?”
geralt didnt have anywhere else to be that evening so he settled in, putting his bog-chilled toes under jaskier’s thighs on the couch.
“want to watch bakeoff?“ jaskier asked.
“what, not another monster flick?”
“i… dont think i could do another,” jaskier admitted, pulling the blanket on his lap that much closer. geralt raised an eyebrow at him but didnt say anything else, getting comfortable while watching folks make a number of different kinds of bread.
jaskier fell asleep on the couch, one hand looped around geralt’s ankle tight.
“want to come over?” jaskier’s tinny voice asked through the speakers in geralt’s car.
“i told you i was out on a job,” geralt said, frowning at the road.
“oh, right. sorry, forgot.” jaskier yawned.
geralt was quiet for a moment, listening to papers shuffling and things clattering around in the background of the call.
“what’s going on, jask?” geralt finally asked.
“havent been sleeping right. not while you’re out.”
“a selkiemore cant get you in your bedroom, jaskier,”
“it can bloody well get you,” jaskier replied, heated, and the line went silent for a beat before jaskier sighed. “anything could get you.”
geralt wiped the hand not on the wheel down his face.
“it could,” he wouldnt lie to the man. “but it hasnt yet.”
jaskier was quiet for a while, then.
“just be careful, will you?”
“last time you came home with a hole in your shoulder and now it aches when it rains.”
“i am vaguely aware of the concept of careful.”
jaskier’s laugh echoed around geralt’s car, making his mouth turn up in a wry smile.
“please, geralt. dont make me come get you.”
“i wont. we’ll watch some bakeoff when i get… home.”
“i’ll see you when you come home,”
gummygunk
jimmyeatworldofficial
izzy806
amandla
turnnoffyourmind
