what are you doing here?

[pukicho]

I sowed some holes in my clothes today, hashtag house wife

[pukicho]

Who am I kidding. I am a 28 year old single man. I'm no housewife..

[averagefanofgreen]

all can be fixed if only you will it

[theykilledshiroualice]

Returning to tumblr purely to fetishpost about eating people

[theykilledshiroualice]

Game development posts are for losers. Woe, cannibalism be upon ye

[averagefanofgreen]

hey can you throw in some doll posting for me like you're jingling keys

[theykilledshiroualice]

You could probably make a public drinking faucet for vampires by hooking up a valve to a restrained living human’s forehead.

The blood pressure in that area is so high the blood would shoot right out in a really big arc eliminating the dangers of yucky cross contamination. It’d probably be more sanitary than real world drinking fountains.

[averagefanofgreen]

hey girl what the fuck ?

[averagefanofgreen]

I love spinach but I hate cooking with spinach because I get like a pound of spinach and I'm like "hell yeah there's gonna be so much spinach in here. straight up spinach maxxing. nachmaxxing." and then it cooks down to like nothing and it's like why is there so little spinach per spinach please god why do you torment me, yes me specifically, with your games? does your fickle nature and my exaggerated reactions mix that well? are you hitting on me? you dtf, god?

[averagefanofgreen]

have a headache? down 10-16 fluid ounces of water. you will not regret downing 10-16 fluid ounces of water.

[averagefanofgreen]

I hate feeling it pulsing inside me

[averagefanofgreen]

accessory concept: paired rings where one has a long chain that can wrap around the wrist with a hook clip on the end and the other has a spot to clip on the chain...

am I cooking? bonus points if you put it on your ring fingers

[averagefanofgreen]

okay so the 6 7 gesture in my head is also apparently associated with give and take yin and yang type dynamics like they go hand in hand and so I did the gesture while trying to explain something and looked down at my hands like this

and then told myself to shut the fuck up

[averagefanofgreen]

my horny ass could never work in a data center

[averagefanofgreen]

I think sometimes but everyone tells me I shouldn't so I dunno I might have to think on that one

[bubblegum-gf]

thought of this when meth said something inspirational right after she was made

[bubblegum-gf]

addendum:

[averagefanofgreen]

yo anyone anyone got that yo amyone yo yoanulme yo anyone anytone got thay that yo anyonne got that yo yoany got yo amyone got the ibuprofen yo anyone got that ibuprofen?

[lanaflowerz]

[averagefanofgreen]

me perfectly cooking* (golden brown on the bottom, still soft and butter in the middle and top. if you disagree: bite me) premade frozen garlic toast in the oven: I am goated actually? I am the best to ever do it?

[averagefanofgreen]

I think I should be allowed

[averagefanofgreen]

"I think therefore I am" is boring. plain. expected. like gnawing on cardboard already wet by the gums of others.

let me give you a real reason.

the existence of an unfunny female comedian implies the existence of a funny female comedian, this also implies the existence of a funny comedian but we are not touching on that today.

a funny female comedian means there is a funny woman out there and according to my research that is me.

meaning "I don't think and yet I am"

find other ways to verify your existence. no I don't care if this misses the whole point and context of the quote. I'm funny therefore I am.

[averagefanofgreen]

I should eat food