So.. I.. uh.. I’m okay..
Are you okay, Fly?
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@avia-styles
So.. I.. uh.. I’m okay..
Are you okay, Fly?
I- I don’t know, but I’m sure we can find a way to solve this … Because you’re my daughter and I love you, Avia. I don’t hate you for all this or anything like that, I know it’s not your fault, love.
I need time Harry. Okay? Everything happened so fast and I need time to cope. I'm sorry.
She shouldn’t have left so suddenly, I know but it wasn’t your fault or mine, or anyone else … A-And maybe It’s easy for you, but it isn’t for me … Maybe it’s not your intention to do so, but you hurt the people around you … There are other ways to solve this instead of being indifferent and all that. I know this is hard for you and I hate seeing you in pain, Avia. Take the time you want, but please, let me help you.
How on earth can you help me when the only thing that is keeping me from falling apart and having a nervous breakdown is hate? Why would you even want to? I've been nothing but absolutely horrible to you.
I just really want to know why air stops working when you get taller.
I know this is hard, because it’s hard for me too and I want to help you, I do… But you insist on not letting me do it, Avia. And I know it’s not your fault.
I need time. Ever since she left and we've moved, like everything happened so fast. It's just been a blur and I've been so miserable. It's just easier to be angry and sad and indifferent. Until I can get my life untangled, I just can't be happy. So, I'm just going to stick with what's easy, and this is easy. It's a little less hard to breathe when I can blame someone and yell at someone and just not love so much. I loved her so much...and she just left me. I've never been in so much pain.
I’m always nice to you and not necessarily only when you’re sick or when something bad has happened to you…
...I'm sorry. I just cannot be happy and I don't know how to adjust. I felt like my entire world fell apart when mum left and no one has tried to help me fix it. I'm so broken on the inside, and the only solace I have found is through hatred.
I’m sore but I’m fine. Thank you. See? It was as easy as that.
I'm only being nice because you were injured. Don't get used to it.
Oh, nothing. You could have asked me how I feel instead of asking how close I came to dying.
Ugh. How are you feeling?
Ugh….Really, Avia?
What?
I crashed the car and spent almost all day in the hospital, what a great day…
Holy shit. How close did you come to dying?
I've been sleeping all day and I still feel like shit. I'm just waiting for my body to shut down completely and in the meantime, I'll just watch Parks and Recreation.
Favorite thing from your childhood?
I have this stuffed giraffe called Luna that I've had for as long as I can remember. Not sure who gave it to me, I've just always had it.
► SICK ON A SATURDAY || AVIA AND HARRY
"It’s nothing." Harry said and shrugged again, it was no problem to take care of her, in spite of all the fights they had had previously. When Avia mentioned her lack of appetite, Harry nodded. "Yeah … I thought so, but try to eat something, okay? … I don’t want you to get worse." Fatigue would just make her feel worse so he hoped she would listen to him. Harry sat at at the end of the bed and looked at her as she took the pill.
Harry looked at Avia for a couple of seconds, she looked so miserable and tired. He looked more deeply and she looked so much like Georgia that sometimes it hurt him to look at her. The way she used to talk, her gestures and her temperament were the same as her mother but she was his daughter and knew he had to love her no matter what.
He cleared his throat and began to speak again. “Need anything else?” Harry asked. “More water? Blankets? Anything.” He offered. He was willing to give her what she needed, and if he had to go to the store again and again he would do it without thinking.
Avia nodded, "Okay..." she responded. She closed her eyes as she listened to him talk to her. "I would but the mere thought of chewing anything makes my head hurt, so I'll just wait till I feel better or my head stops pounding. Whichever comes first." Avia sat up slightly and drank more water. She hadn't had much to drink all day and she had been sick a few times, she knew from experience that extreme dehydration was not a fun thing at all.
She watched with heavy eyes as Harry looked at her. She couldn't imagine the things he was thinking. She and Harry had a rough relationship, but she could never hate him. He's her dad, and as mad as she might be, she'll always have a place for him in her heart. Even if that place is very small and hard to find at the moment.
"No, I should be good thank you..." she gave him a small smile and pulled her cover up to her chin. "Actually, more blankets would be quite nice now that you mention it.."
► SICK ON A SATURDAY || AVIA AND HARRY
Harry gave one last look at Avia before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. If there was something he hated was to see one of his children in pain and had been so long since the last time he had the opportunity to take care of herso that made him feel a little better.
Harry got into his car and drove to the nearest pharmacy, he did not know if sleeping pills would calm her pain but Harry bought them anyway. Before returning home, Harry stopped by a store and bought some things for her to eat. After paying, he returned to the car and made his way back home as fast as he could.
When he was there, he took the bags and went into the house, now it was unusual for him to do all these things, he could remember when Avia was little and used to feel sick at night, then Harry had to go to a pharmacy and get meds, it was weird to do it again but it felt good.
Harry went upstairs and went to her daughter’s room he opened the door with his foot. “It’s me.” He said softly. He left the bags on the bedside table and took the pills. “Here you go … Just don’t take more than necessary.” Harry handed her a pill and a bottle of water. “Uh … I bought you some things I thought you would like… I don’t know.” He shrugged slightly. “I just bought them..” At that moment Harry did not know exactly how to feel, maybe her mother would know what to do or what to buy, but he was alone now and he did the best he could.
Avia woke up feeling terribly ill and the feeling did not subdue as the day went on. There was nothing she hated more than being sick as it just made her feel useless and annoyingly dependant. She spent most of the day in her room or the bathroom depending on whether she was vomiting or not. She felt achy and cold and just generally like shit. She hadn't felt this bad in a long time.
After spending almost the entire day in agonizing discomfort, Avia decided to ask for help. It was the first time in years really that she needed Hary for something and she was quite nervous. Usually all interactions she had with him were completely negative. Neither of them had a good word for the other and the've had screaming matches that have lasted for hours. Though now with her mum gone, she needed him. Even if it was only for meds.
When Harry walked in Avia just nodded and said "Thank you," as politely as she could manage. She didn't have the stamina to start anything tonight. She just wanted to feel better and sleeping pills may just help her sleep, but that's really what she wants to do. "Oh..uh, you didn't have to do that. I haven't got much of an appetite," she mumbled hoarsely. Avia grabbed the bottle of pills and took two, then chased it with a drink of the water. "Thanks again. I was kind of desperate..."
Okay, I’ll be right back…
Thanks.
You sure?
Yeah. It'd be great if you could conjure up some sleeping pills though.
I’m glad you didn’t call me Harry this time…Will you let me take you to the doctor or not, hmm?
I don't want to go to the doctor.